"Once Upon a time, there was a woman born a pure freak, but she had some enchantment on her, that prevented her from being normal. Which could be broken by true love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle, guarded by a fire breathing dragon. Many Freak Shows and Circuses, had attempted to capture this pure freak, but none prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep, for her true love and true love's first kiss."
Twisty: Yeah, like that's ever going to happen.
Twisty says, muffled by his grinning mask, and used torn fairytale book page to wipe his butt. Then, he steps out of his own outhouse, stretching and yawning, looking over to his little bus in the woods. He has his own little place, for privacy, and the fact that the Jupiter, Florida townies are afraid of the evil and scary-looking clown. He had a worn-grimey clown suit and a grimey-looking skull cap with three tufts of hair.
Sometimes, a mob would try to drive him out of the woods, but he knows how to scare those who don't like him. At night, a small mob comes by, and stalks around his little bus. But Twisty is following behind them.
Man 1: He's in there, so let's get him.
Man 2: Hold on, you know what that evil clown can do to you?
Man 3: For starters, he'll knock you out with his juggling pins, then stab you with a hidden pair of gardening shears.
They are startled by the presence of the clown.
Twisty: Actually, I prefer to lock children in a cage and force them to watch my clown shows.
Man 4: Get back, you big-scary clown.
Twisty: Would any of you, like to see me, put on a show?
Twisty lightly pats his clown bag, pulling out a juggling pin, and everyone starts running off. Twisty yells after them.
Twisty: And stay away, if you don't like clowns!
The next day, outside Elsa Mars's Freak Show, Elsa was using her bearded lady friend to accept new recruits. One of them is a young man with lobster-like hands.
Ethel: And you are?
Jimmy: I am Jimmy Darling, and I'm not a freak, I'm a real boy.
Ethel: Yeah, yeah, get inside the tent like all the others.
Next in line, is Dandy Mott, a wealthy rich young man, who wants to be apart of the circus life.
Ethel: And you? Who are you?
Dandy: I'm Dandy Mott and I truly feel this is where I belong.
Ethel: Why is that? You don't look like a freak.
Dandy: On the outside, no. But on the inside, I am one of you. Just please, take a chance on me.
Ethel: Sorry, no can do. You have to physically be a freak.
Dandy grabs Ethel by the shirt collar, in anger, startling Ethel.
Dandy: No, you don't understand. You'll be saving my life. Just watch, I can sing the entire Cole Porter canon.
Dandy starts singing, but Ethel has had enough, and sends guards after him. In the woods, he bumps into someone, falling on his butt. Dandy looks up at the clown, and hides behind him, as the guards approach them.
Guard 1: You there, clown, by the order of the Cabinate of Curiousities, this young man is wanted for his obnoxious and unwanted singing.
The clown approaches the guard, guard feeling scared of the big- scary looking clown.
Twisty: Oh really, you and what army?
The guard runs off, scared of the clown, and the clown laughs it off. Dandy is amazed by this, so he follows after the clown, who has walked off.
Dandy: can I say something to you? That was really something, back there.
Twisty: Are you talking to me?
Dandy: To see how you stood up for me, that made me feel real good.
Twisty: Yeah, it was nothing. Now, why don't you go back to your own friends.
Dandy: I don't have any friends.
Twisty walks off again and Dandy runs after him.
Dandy: I got an idea, I can stick with you.
Twisty: Why?
Dandy: You can scare anyone that crosses us.
At that moment, Twisty is becoming quite annoyed with Dandy.
Twisty: Why are you following me?
Dandy: Why? -sings- Because you gotta have friends.
Dandy sings, then approaching Twisty for a hug, but Twisty holds him back.
Twisty: (annoyed) Ugh! It's no wonder you don't have friends.
Dandy: Only a true friend would be that truly honest.
Twisty: Are you serious? What do you think I am?
Dandy: (looks him up and down) Uh, really tall?
Twisty: (annoyed) I'm a scary, terrifying looking clown. I've killed people. Doesn't that bother you?
Dandy: Not really, no. What's your name, anyways?
Twisty: Uh, Twisty.
Dandy: Twisty the clown, I'm Dandy Mott.
Dandy introduces himself, having his hand out for a shake, but Twisty walks off again. Dandy catches up with him.
Dandy: You know what I like about you, Twisty? I think your a bad-ass looking clown. You got that "I don't care what no one thinks about me" attitude. I really like that.
Twisty says nothing as they come to his little school bus in the woods. At first, Dandy is not to surprised, of a clown's choice of home.
Dandy: So, what place is this?
Twisty: This is where I live.
Dandy: And it's very nice, too.
Twisty shakes his head and moves on.
Dandy: And you live here by yourself?
Twisty: I like my privacy.
Dandy: Like something we both have in common. For instance, you got someone in your face, and you give them a hint and they won't leave, so there's that big awkward silence...you know.
At that moment, Twisty gives him an obvious look. Dandy breaks the awkward silence.
Dandy: Can I stay with you, please?
Twisty: (confused) What? And no.
Dandy: Please? Us freaks gotta stick together.
Twisty: Us freaks?
Dandy: You, obviously a freak, but I wear my freakish nature on the inside.
Twisty: (annoyed) Okay, fine. Whatever.
As soon as Twisty opens the door, Dandy was the first to rush in and sit on Twisty's fold-out couch. Twisty, tired of Dandy's shit, storms in.
Dandy: This is gonna be fun. We can stay up late, swap manly stories and tomorrow morning, I'm making waffles.
Twisty growls in anger. Dandy, seeing Twisty annoyed, brushes it off.
Dandy: So, where do I sleep?
Twisty: (shouts and points toward the door) OUTSIDE!
Dandy: Okay, fine. You don't have to be so crabby.
Dandy walks passed Twisty, feeling sad, but Dandy sees the hammock outside soon after Twisty closes the door to his bus. Dandy climbs in his hammock and sings Cole Porter to himself.