Note from the Author: You know, eventually I was going to succumb to my urge to write crack pairings. Eventually, it was going to happen. This is only the beginning. You have been warned.

My prompt for this: Naruto's nicknames for them at the end.

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Neji's back crashed into the wall. "Sasuke, what the-?"

"Shut up." The Uchiha snapped, pressing himself against him and peering out into the street from their shadowed corner. When he was sure no one was coming, he tilted his head up, capturing the older boy's lips with his own. "It's about damn time." He breathed, breaking the kiss for a moment. "It's been ages since I last saw you."

Neji smirked, lacing his fingers on the small of his back. "It'd be easier if you weren't so intent on keeping this a secret."

Sasuke groaned, pressing his forehead against his collarbone. "If Naruto found out, he wouldn't let me hear the end of it." He wrapped his arms around him, knotting his fingers in the dark strands of hair falling down his back. "He's been trying to convince Sakura that I'm gay for years."

Neji chuckled, holding him close. "It's just as well. Hiashi-sama wouldn't approve of this, I'm sure." He lifted his head by his chin.

Sasuke sighed, kissing him. "Yeah, the last of the Uchihas and the Hyuuga genius – who wouldn't be thrilled that we're together?" Sarcasm stained his voice.

Neji caught his lips, holding him tightly, and for a moment, they let themselves forget where they were, exchanging kisses and whispers, telling each other about their latest missions, recounting with disgust their more obnoxious teammates' antics.

These moments didn't come often. They had to sneak around, hiding their togetherness from the world. Besides that, their missions kept them apart, and if they did have missions together, they had no time, energy, or thought for affection. They were work-oriented, and only when there was time to breathe did they remember each other.

Sasuke abruptly broke their kiss, suddenly alert. "Shit." He hissed, grabbing Neji's hand and running.

Unfortunately, an orange roadblock halted their progress. What was worse that it was an orange roadblock with a triumphant grin. "I knew it!" The roadblock was shouting, his finger waving victoriously in his face. "You are gay!"

Sasuke wanted to break that finger. Instead, he opted to smirk. "What of it? Jealous, dobe?"

Naruto glared. "No. But, why him? The last thing we need is you two in a relationship!" At their questioning glances, he continued. "You're like a billboard for depression – Gloomy McEmo and Sir Scowls-A-Lot. Like the world really deserves that."

He continued to babble, not realizing that the Konoha geniuses had each activated their kekkai genkai, and he was in big trouble.

For the rest of the evening, Konoha was filled with the shouts of Naruto's clones as they tried to evade angry noble boys, who just wanted a moment's peace.