Breath of Life: A Creator's notes 27
"Okay! Let's do this! I'm going to breath in, breath out, inhale-exhale. All the things I have to do for you boys. However, if neither of you get it this time, it is the last time I give you the breath of life."
The rain poured down drenching Dean Winchester as he kneel in the ground holding the lifeless body of Sam Winchester tight onto his chest. He rocked back and forth wailing with deafening screams, "Sam! Sammy! No! No!"
He did not realize how long he had been there rocking back and forth. All it matter to him was that Sam, his Sammy was not breathing. His joins were stiff, the rain hit him like sharp icicles piercing his skin, his soul. Somehow, he knew Sam was not coming back this time. There was no Castiel, no Crowley no one to call on, make deals with. All that surrounded him was miles and miles of deep thick wood forest and an endless asphalt empty road. He felt it in his gut this time there was not going to be anything worth trading for Sam's life. He scanned his surroundings. His throat was sore nothing was coming out of it no screams, no words, and no sounds. The impala was nowhere to be found. He knew, he was alone in this vast universe. He tried to scream again but not even the slightest sound came out. He focus his eyes once more on the disfigure face of Sam. The rain had washed it clean the blood had stopped flowing a long time ago. Only the shredded face, body remain. It was dark but somehow the moon was full enough, high enough to illuminate the darkness that surround the area where Dean and Sam were. The silence was eerily resounding and yet Dean was able to feel the nothingness. His brain furiously scanning every single second of the past twenty-four hours to find out what went wrong. How he had ended up here? Why was Sam dead instead of him? Even the rain felt different, wrong, and not wrong, it was the type of rain that washes you away clean. The type of rain that purifies.
"Purifies!" Dean thought
"Where that come from?" He asked no answer came, except the myriad of images that revealed his every movement, his every choice since he and Sam took on the case against Castiel and Crowley's advice.
"Okay! Okay! Let's think this through!" Dean tighten his grip on Sam's body as he whispered on Sam's ears. He closes his eyes to focus. He knew he needed to focus. A ray of hope began to form in his mind.
"Maybe this is not real! Yes, it is possible that this is not real! That thing is messing with my mind." Dean thought and his lips began to curl up into the devil may care smile, he loves to show when he is about to give you the fuck you speech and he tighten his grip on Sam's body once more his lips touching the cold earlobe, eyes closed breathing on Sam's scent.
"Strange! Sam scent is so strong that combination of his mint after shave and vanilla coffee beans." Dean opens his eyes and as he breaths once more Sam's scent he finds his voice once more, "It's all you got!"
He uncurls and begins to let go of the lifeless body. He finds it difficult to move but he finally manages to stand up while Sam's body lays on the muddy ground. "It's all you got! You son of a bitch!"
He flings his arms in the air and scans his surroundings. "You want to know what give you away. Sam's scent, he is alive. I will find a way to escape; you're messing with my mind. Sam will find a way to kill you, but rest assured, you are dead meat. You son of a bitch!"
Then, he feels it. There is someone else there with him. "Show your face. You coward!"
"That cannot be Dean! If I am to show you my face, you will die for certain and I cannot have that. Only one brother can be dead at a time. I cannot have you both die without realizing your destiny."
"What crap are you spewing? Sam is not dead and you know it. I may not know what kind of a monster you are but rest assured Sam, Castiel or even that damn Crowley will figure it out." Dean responds trying to locate the presence.
"Focus Dean! Focus! If it bleeds, it can be kill." He thinks to himself.
"I am afraid you are wrong Dean. Sam is most definitely dead and he is not coming back!"
"Yeah! Whatever! You're just trying to mess with my mind, but once I find you, you're dead meat." Dean moves around scanning and shuffling seeking for something looking remotely like a weapon. He was weaponless. He could not explained it, but the place was clean of anything that could be used as a weapon except for the gravel on the side of the road or the looming pine trees on the forest and that meant leaving Sammy's body unprotected and for some reason he felt in his gut that whether Sammy was dead or alive, he could not leave his body behind.
"Dean! Dean! There is no one coming to the rescue this time."
"Shut-up! Shut-up! You son of a bitch. I will find you and then I will kill you." Dean tries frantically to locate the source of the voice. But it is like the voice is next to him and everywhere. He could not pin point the reason his sense of direction was off. "I will find you." Dean whispers and then leans to reassure himself that Sam's body was still there and it was cold and stiff.
"After all, I have done for you boys and you still don't get it."
"Done for us! Who the fuck are you? What are you?" Dean asks as he remembers Castiel's last words before he and Sam went inside the abandon building, "Dean, this doesn't feel right! Don't go in! Let me try to find out more about this."
"Listen to the angel, squirrel! You too moose, this doesn't feel right. I will hate to lose my two favorite humans. Let me and angel boy here look more into this. I can have my demons investigate more. He can go to his heavenly friends and try to uncover what this energy is. But do not go inside."
"C'mon Crowley where is your sense of adventure?"
"Don't get me wrong Dean, I love adventure as much as you but this is stupid and when demons and angels agree on something you better listen boy."
"Nah! Crowley. Sam and I got this one. You coming Sammy?"
Then they both entered the building and as soon as they had both feet inside the piercing pain and the blinding darkness next thing he was kneeling on the ground with Sam in shreds.
"Who am I? I go by many names, I am the alpha and the omega. That's Greek for the beginning and the ending."
"I know who the alpha and the omega is, you asshole."
"Dean, be very careful if you have read your scriptures right and I doubt that you have, remember that you may disrespect the son and the father and be forgiven; however, there is no forgiveness for disrespecting the Holy Spirit."
"Okay! Let's pretend for a second that I believe you are God. What have you done for us? As far as I am concern, you've done squat. Sammy here he believes in you." Dean grabs his brother's body and carries it like a sack of potatoes as he scans the road ahead and begins to walk just for the purpose of doing something, other than feel expose to the nothingness.
"Me on the other hand, I believe in Cass even fucking Crowley. I know them. We have issues, but we are working it out. You not so much."
"Dean! You may doubt me; however, you still one of my children; thus, you've been receiving my grace. Who do you think pull you and Sam into that plane? Why do you think Castiel has not die yet? I have done this and many more things to help you realize your heart's inner desires. But so far, you and Sam keep missing the point and I can only do so many revisions on both your stories without affecting my other children's free will."
Dean stops in his tracks and makes a pause, "Let me get this straight! You're giving me an ultimatum! Over some shit that Sammy and I have not figure it out yet." With a bitter laugh, Dean continuous, "My heart's inner desires! Fuck you! Fuck you! All Sammy and I want is a demon free life. A life where we can relax share some beer over a Sunday barbeque without the end of the world happening at every turn."
"No! That's what you think you want. That's what you have convince your mind is in your heart. But, I know better. I saw that spark! I saw the flame ignite in your heart that night."
"What the fuck are you talking about? To what night are you referring to?" Dean bends over to lay Sam's body on the ground he had been walking for some time and he loved his brother to the point not even dead could keep them apart but his bony ass was heavy and Dean was tired. The rain did not make things easier for him either.
"The night Sam gave you the necklace that was meant for your father John."
"Uh! You mean the night I thought that Sammy have finally realize that I will be there for him no matter what." Dean seats on the asphalt picking up Sam's immobile head to put it on his lap trying in vain to protect himself and Sam from the falling rain.
"We are not talking about Sam, Dean. We are talking about you. I already told you Sam is out. This is not Sam's judgment day. It's your trail."
Dean picks up his face and tries to scan the sky but the rain makes it impossible for him to keep his face up as he snort's, "And here I thought we were having a heart to heart with God."
"We are!"
"So, now, what? You're going all Osiris on me. Where are the witness?" Deans looks down once more at Sammy's face. It was clean but the marks all over his body make him looked like a raggedy lifeless doll. The guilt begins to wash all over him. Only if he had not been so rash and jump into the case, dragging Sammy. He should have listen to Castiel. Crowley was right when angels and demons agree on something you better listen.
"Osiris? Oh! I see! No, I am not after your feelings of guilt. I look at your repentance; however, right now I am not after that either."
"Then, what do you want from me?" Dean screams at the heavens, then he bows his head as his tears mixed with the rain-drops. Looking at Sammy, it was painful. It was more painful than the torture he received in hell or the time he spend in purgatory fighting for his life.
"All I want from you is to realize your destiny."
"What the fuck you mean by that? Being, Michael's vessel? Or a demon because Cain's mark?"
"No, those stories are done and long gone. To tell you the truth, I think both my children deserved the time out together. Michael and Lucifer need to spend some time together reconnect. I am thankful to you and Sam for those choices. About Cain's mark, it won't last much longer once you make the right choice it will naturally disappear. Quite frankly the only reason it stuck in you is not because you are a violent hunter or you enjoy the blood baths and killing. Quite the contrary, it did because you refuse to accept your destiny."
"What are you talking about? What destiny shit is that?" Dean shakes his head side to side as he adds, "And what's with the fucking rain? Make it stop! It's annoying."
"I'm afraid I cannot do that the rain is for your own protection. If I stop the rain, you will end up like Sam, in shreds."
"Why did Sam had to die? Why didn't you kill me instead?" Dean screams wiping his rain-tears drench face.
"Sam's dead is unfortunately, but one of you had to die in order to be in my presence. He was the one who saw me first for who I am; thus, he died."
"What's so important that we have to be in your presence?" Dean asks wearily. He was tired, so tired, he just wanted to lay down and die next to Sam.
"I will say your life."
"Are you fucking kidding me? My life! What's so fucking important about my life? That! That! Sam had to die." Dean covers his face. He was glad for the rain because it covered the fact that he was crying. The pain in his chest was unbearable.
"The fact that you are not living your destiny, yet. Despite all the things I have done for you and Sam, the flag posts, the larger than life signs, I have giving you."
"Stop! Stop, fucking with me. What crap destiny are you talking about? Sam and I are doing the best we can to protect humanity. We give and give and give some more trying to keep humans safe from demons and your fucking twisted bastard angels." Dean finish almost in a whisper. He wanted to die. He will give anything to find a reaper in this place to sow his soul. He would be glad to go back to hell or purgatory as long as Sammy were alive.
"Dean! I'm your creator. I created you with free will. I never asked you to save humanity. I never intended for you and your brother to become saviors. I have to admit. At first, you were nothing but the future vessels of my sons, Michael and Lucifer. You need to understand that to keep balanced in the world my sons have to have their war games. You cannot have order without chaos and you cannot have peace without war. But that night, I saw your spark ignite brighter than any I've seen so far."
Dean now becomes alive once more like a ray of hope is dangling in front of him far away in the horizon as he says, "Back off! Back off a minute, explain to me that of free will. Because you are not making any sense, first you say that Sam and I were nothing but vessels so demons and angels can have their fun. Then, you say that we have free will. How is that free will? If you have everything pre-order already."
"Let me explain! Listen carefully because I am just going to do this once then you are on your own Dean. I am the creator. I am the beginning and the ending. I am the one who give you the breath of life. At the beginning, I created angels in the heavens such perfect beings to give me glory. Their whole purpose was to serve me and adore me as their creator. However, I found them to be pretty boring, hosts of perfect beings without changing for all eternity; thus, came humanity. I created a race of human beings with free will to spice things up and I got my wish. Soon, I had a rebellion in the heavens and new and exciting things began to appear, demons, lesser gods, demi-gods, you name it. It was a dominoes effect. So, rules where made everyone has a script to follow, except humans. You truly were created with free will. Now, I got myself an exciting life full of twists and turns. I truly enjoy watching stories developed in front of me to entertain me throughout all of eternity."
Dean now leaps in one fluid movement to stand up as he exclaims, "Metratron! Is that you fucking asshole?"
"Dean! You're missing the point here. I am not Metratron. He truly was a pitiful child. I chose him to be my scribe because in all honesty the kid was a scary cat. So full of awe and good at taking notes and his handwriting is perfect. Never a mistake, he gets it all at first time. Unfortunately, him putting his hands at writing bad idea. The child has no talent. Not an original thought in his mind!"
"So, you're really God. God with capital G!" Dean adds as he picks Sam up again and begins to walk. Although, the night was giving way to the daytime, the nothingness was making him nervous. Walking help him to keep calm as he tries to find a way out of this mess.
"Yes! I'm the one and only God there is. I told you; I'm the beginning and the ending. I am the creator of everything there was, is and will be."
"So, if you are the all-powerful, mighty one, why you cannot bring Sam back to life?" Dean asks as he struggles to accommodate Sam's lifeless body in his shoulder. Sam's long legs did not help much. There were few instances when Dean hated Sam for being taller than him. This one was one of them. It was not easy to carry his body around but Dean could not help it but to keep moving. It was like an invisible force was pulling him towards a particular point.
"Dean, aren't you listening? I told you he saw my original form; thus, he is dead; not coming back. Humans were not created to see me. Not even all angels can claim to have seen my form."
"But, you are the creator. All you have to do is undo whatever happen that caused Sam's dead. Hey! You're the one claiming that is thanks to you that Cass keeps coming back from the dead."
"Again not listening! Castiel is an Angel. Angels are equipped to see me. Humans in the other hand are not. I can bring you and Sam from the death as long as I was not the one who cause your demised."
"But!..."
"Stop! Dean, listen! Let me finish explaining to you about free will and then we can discuss about how to bring Sam back from the dead. Agree?"
"Agree!"
"Okay! Where were we? Ah! Yes! Now, I have myriad of stories to entertain me. Angels cannot change their make; however, humans can make plots change; although at the end it will be the same outcome, it will never be the same story. Angel's rebel, apocalypses come and go, Michael and Lucifer have their little war. There is chaos then order. From war comes a millennium of peace, etc. etc. Because, even with free will humans are pretty much very predictable; however, once in a while I find extraordinary people whose spark of life burns brighter than the rest. Then, I have epic stories, Noah and his arc, Alexander the Great, Cleopatra and Mark Anthony, Napoleon and Josephine."
"Aren't all of them tragedies? I think that Mark Anthony betrayed Cleopatra and Alexander the Great was betrayed by his best friend and Napoleon…"
"Dean! You're talking about Julius Cesar not Alexander the Great. The point is that all of them had a bright spark of life and a greater destiny than the rest of humanity. Which brings me back to your story. You and Sam were destined to be Michael's and Lucifer's Vessels; however, I saw your spark ignite the night Sam gave you the necklace and it was not because Sam may or may not have realize that you will be there for him no matter what. That was not the reason your spark burned so bright and keeps burning bright. That was the moment you and Sam change the plot of the story and who knows may be able to change the outcome of it too."
"What you mean?"
"What I mean Dean is that your destiny is not to be a savior."
"Then what is it?"
"Dean, no cheating. I cannot tell you what your destiny is. That is for you to decide; however, you and Sam are running out of time to realize your destiny. That's what was so important to tell you. You are not eternal and you have a limited window to achieve your destiny; otherwise, you will die without having accomplish what you were meant to be. It will be a shame to not have your epic story told."
"What about re-incarnation?"
"Dean, I never say humans could re-incarnate. You were created to have eternal life; however, Adam and Eve gave it up when they ate the forbidden fruit. Now, you live your life only once. Re-incarnation is a joke from Lucifer, he thought if he planted the thought, it will make my plots more entertaining."
Dean stops walking and lays Sam's body in the ground as his mind is full of thoughts after a short pause, he adds, "Let me get this straight! You're saying that Sam and I have a limited time to achieve our destiny. You cannot reveal my destiny; however, you know for sure our destiny is not to be hunters."
"I said saviors. I never say you were not to be hunters. And do not misunderstand me, I never said you were not to save lives. What I said or meant is that your destiny is not to be saviors. You were meant to know about the world of demons and angels. Originally, you were meant to be men of letters; however, things happened and you became hunters. Remember twists and turns but the outcome is always the same. So, you are meant to save lives, to save the world if you will; but your biggest accomplishment is something entirely different."
"Okay! But, you did say that Sam and I have a limited time to accomplish this epic story. Am I right?"
"Yes, you and Sam have a limited time to live your own epic story."
Dean now sits on his heels as he examines Sam's body and repeats, "limited time as time still running for me and Sammy."
"Yes, Dean as time still running but not for long."
"We're talking seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years…" Dean focus his attention in Sam's mutilated face.
"We're talking years. However, all depends on you and what you decide while you still here with me."
"So, you will bring Sam back from the dead?"
"No, Dean! I told you Sam is dead. I cannot bring him back."
Dean stands up again and begins to peace while talking, "I'm confused! You're telling time still running and we're talking about years. So, how is Sam going to help me write this epic story we're supposed to be living for the next, I do not know, more than one year since you used a plural. Is he going to be a zombie, ghoul, ghost or what?"
"Depending on your decision, Sam will be Sam, not a zombie, not a ghoul or ghost. He will be human."
"Okay! I'm down with that." Dean keeps pacing around Sam's laying body as he continues, "Then, how the fuck is he going to come back from the land of the dead if you cannot bring him back to life."
"I said I cannot bring him back to life. I did not say he cannot be resurrected."
"What the fuck? Tomato-Tomato same shit. What do I need to do to bring Sammy back?"
"What do you know about fairy-tales?"
"What? You mean like King Arthur, Conan the Barbarian and shit."
"I mean like Snow White, Sleeping Beauty."
"Sammy knows about that shit."
"Dean, what do you know about them? Do you know how they brought their dead back to life."
"I think Sammy said something about true love's kiss or some shit…." Dean stops pacing and faces towards the horizon as he exclaims, "Where the fuck, am I going to find Sammy's true love?"
"Well, that's the made for children version. Truth be told! It requires more than a kiss. It takes the breath of life to bring someone that has experience a true dead."
"What? So, being dead is false or what?"
"No! The dead human's experience so far is just the waiting period till judgment day. You retain the breath of life until that time I called you to tell me your story. Then, I decide if you will die or continue living in Paradise. If I decide to give you a true dead then I take away your breath of life and you cedes to exist. That was what happen to Sam, I took away his breath of life and I cannot give it back to him."
"What? You did not like our story so far and you kill Sam!"
"No, Dean. That was an accident! Sam was not supposed to see my true form. Seeing my true form is what causes you to lose your breath of life. It cannot be helped. The breath of life is a part of me. It's what makes me, be me. Therefore, when in my true form the breath of life comes back to me. It wants to come home be me again. Showing a human my true form it's meant to be a reward for a life lived. It served its purpose and now I take back what is mine. After a few accidents, I created a safeguard. You all call it a true love's kiss. I called it the breath of life safeguard. However, I cannot do it. It had to be done by that person's true love. When it's an accident, it means that the person experiencing the true dead had not completed his/her story and the other party involved in creating the story still is alive; therefore, she/he is the only person capable of recalling the breath of life back because it will resonate with her/him. The story is not complete and that particular breath of life wants to complete finish his/her story; thus, the need to be part of me is override by the need to complete his/her story. It's complicated Dean. Just remember, Sam's wants to complete his story, so he needs to receive his true love's kiss."
"Okay! I just need to look for Sam's true love. Wait! You said is more than a kiss. So, once I find Sammy's true love, what else has to be done?"
"Bringing back the Breath of life requires more than a kiss. It needs a soul blending experience."
Dean begins to pace. Moving helps him keep focus and to think, "Like entering Sam's mind, dreams. I can deal with that. I have the spell and I can gather the ingredients."
"Dean, you're missing the point. I say it requires a soul blending experience. Entering Sam's mind or his dreams does not qualify as such experience. You need to think more physical action. You are trying to coerce a breath of life to leave me."
"You mean like an orgasm." Dean's face becomes comical as images of Sam's dead body and bustier Asian of the month come to life in his mind, "You really mean it. Necrophilia!"
"I did not say it will be easy or even pretty."
"Okay! Not only do I have to find Sammy's true love but I need to convince the bitch to commit acts of necrophilia in order to bring my brother back to life. You're sick! You know!" Dean stops pacing and takes a long look at the inert body of his brother. Other than the grotesque marks over Sam's shredded body, he looks like in a deep sleep. "Okay! One thing though, how do I find Sammy's true love? Is there a spell or something that can help me find her? How do I do this?"
"Dean, what makes you think that Sam's true love is a she?"
"Sammy is not gay. Trust me! I know him. He has a type. They're either blonde, the homey type, or brunets, the wild type. He is not much for the supermodel look. He is not into the big breast or huge butts. He likes them more average. Me in the other hand. I don't have a type, short, tall, blondes, red-heads, all are welcome; however, I prefer the meaty the better, big breast, big butts for traction." Dean now picks up Sam's body once more and adds, "So, how do I get out of here? And where do I start looking for Sam's true love? You know we have that epic story to deal with destiny and all."
"Dean! You're not going anywhere with Sam. If you look ahead, you will see a small cabin where you can take refuge from the rain. Once you settle in it, you will find everything you need in there, then I suggest you start searching for your heart's inner desires. The moment you find them, you will have an answer for all your questions. Remember, you have a decision to make. Start with that night when Sam gave you the necklace and try to figure out what made your spark ignite that night? Who makes your flame burn brighter than everyone else?
Dean looks up and sees the cabin that look way too much like the one where they lived in after Bobby's home was burned down. Then sighting, he says, "Well, Sammy! It's you and me buddy. Let's go and bring your breath of life back. So, we can keep kicking demon and angel's ass back and lived that epic story that we must."
The rain still hitting hard but the night had become a brand new day and where the full moon hang earlier now a shiny-bright sun burn hot in the sky. Dean quicken his pace and he reach the cabin in no time. The door to it did not prove difficult to open. The inside look just like home. Like those days in the wilderness when him, Sam and Bobby share a lifetime together so, so long ago. The only difference was the bed instead of three cots, he found a king size bed. It was not different from any bed you find in the roadside motels where he and Sam spend most of their time together, except that instead of a queen side bed this one was a big enough to hold two people. Hell! You could have a ménage ả trois, a whole orgy in it and still be comfortable.
"Well, Sammy-boy! You rest comfortable here while I go and get us out of this wet clothes. We don't want to catch pneumonia." Dean pats Sam's body after laying it down on the bed.
He then gets busy looking for clean clothes that look eerily enough as the ones he has back home, back in the real world. He locates the bathroom and decides to take a shower. He goes into the shower. The cabin from the outside looks small but at close examination the place is huge. The bathroom alone is large enough to hold an army. He likes the fact that the shower is very spacious. Dean turns the hot water knob and just lets the scolding water burn his skin. After the hours, he spend under the ice-freezing rain, his body was relaxing with the shock of the sizzling water. The steam soon permeates the whole room and Dean drops to the floor tired, exhausted just letting the water keep hitting his body.
"I tell you something Sammy! This fucking bathroom is not joke. You should see the size of it and the water pressure man. It's divine. Just fucking divine! I sound like a fucking faggot. I tell you Sammy this touchy-feeling trip is something, it's something." Dean grows quiet for a period hugging himself as the tears roll freely. The water goes from scolding hot to a lukewarm temperature and Dean feels tired, just exhausted of everything and he had a cold-stiff body out there and no clue how to bring it back to life. Well! He knew what need it to be done but the touchy feeling thing that was a Sam thing. Exploring feelings and the why's and what's that was Sam's specialty. Him not so much. He knew how to bury deep down. He never wanted to talk about feelings better to ignore and keep walking ahead. But, he was also the type that will grab the bull by the horns and there was not getting out of it. The sooner the touchy-feeling session begins, the sooner he could bring Sam back to life and their lives will be back on track and they will figure out the epic story together. So, Dean gets up from the floor, he finishes his shower and dresses in dry clean clothes.
He walks to the kitchen area and finds the so familiar fridge and as he opens it, he says, "Well! Let's see what's in here!" He sees the well stock fridge with Dean's favorite foods and beer. He is impress and grabs two bottles of beer as he closes the fridge. He then opens the first bottle and finishes it in one smooth gulp, "Sammy this is for courage."
Then opens the second as he walks towards the bedroom where Sammy's dead body lays. As he opens the door to enter, he drinks slowly savoring every drop. "Dude! Wherever we are… things in here, taste, smell, feels and look… I am afraid to say it without sounding gay but I'm going to say it… divine."
He now stands at the foot of the bed looking down at Sam while saying, "Dude! You're dead and you smell great. You don't look so good in the account that you're in shreds."
Then looking up at the ceiling he adds, "Did you have to go all Freddy Kruger on Sammy? Look at him!" He looks down once more to face Sam and continues, "He looks like a sleeping angel, a shredded sleeping angel. Not even Cass ever looked so peaceful."
"Well! First thing is first, let's get you out of those wet clothes and clean you up. You need to look presentable when you meet your true love. Isn't it here the part in where a sexy nurse comes out and gives Sam a back rub and does some hocus pocus to make Sam look his handsome self again." He asks knowing he is all on his own now.
Dean undresses Sam and places him in the floor while he changes the wet bed sheets. Then, he is back into the dry bed. Dean observes the naked body while stating, "Dude! You look terrible. True love or not. It will take some convincing for any chick in her right mind to want to get it on with you. If it was me, I take you Sammy. I take you in any way, shape or form. You're my bro. For better or for worst, you're my baby brother... Dude! I need a beer. This is going to take more than a six pack, good thing that we seem to be well stock. If not for the fact that you're dead, I wouldn't want to ever leave this place. It's missing some sexy babes but as long as it's with you alive, I can survive and live happily ever after in a place like this."
Dean leaves to go and grab more beer. He gulps one while standing in front of the fridge, then grabs two more and takes a third to drink while going back to the room. He goes inside the room and drags a chair to sit beside the bed while facing Sam. Throwing the empty bottle, he opens the next beer and remembers, "Oh! Shit! I forgot to dress you dude."
He gets up and as he chugs the beer he looks around the dressing drawers for some jeans and T-shirts and socks and underwear and then it hits him like a lightning rod. "What the fuck? I'm barely on my fifth beer and I am buzz already. I sure can drink more than that. Hell! I down Jim Bean's and Johnny Walkers like water. What's up with a few beers?"
He shakes his head to get rid of the light headiness but it just gets worst, "What the fuck! What do you put on those beers? Did you just give me a roofie or something?" Dean drops the clothes on the floor and sits down on the chair trying to get his bearings. Then putting his head on the bed he stares at Sam's left side shoulder as he blurs, "Hey! Kiddo, I feel like shit! I think beer even affects you different in here. I feel like a just chug one of those gasoline tanks full of beer. Don't get me wrong! The beer taste fucking great but the after effects are no joke."
He places his right hand on Sam's shredded shoulder as he keeps blurring, "Sammy! Sammy! Sammy! Just give me a second kid! I need to think and you know I am not good with that shit." After a few seconds Dean is snoring, he had fallen asleep holding tight to Sammy's shoulder.
Dean wakes up with a bitch of a hangover. He barely picks up his head trying to assess his surroundings. With blurry vision and a ringing sound in his ear, he sees a body laying down in front of him. He touches a smooth and soft surface, a bed, definitely a bed. He is not in the bed. He is seating in a chair only his head was resting on the bed. Someone else is on the bed. He tries his hardest to focus and scan the long shredded and naked body on top of the bed. He sees a pair of nice feet maybe a 10 or size 12 shoes. Long legs, lean with muscle but the deep open wounds did not make justice to the legs. He keeps going up and finds a lean flat abdomen and underneath a well round bubble butt; however, the nature of the injuries do not allowed for a total appreciation of the anatomy. He looks at the muscular chest and well tone biceps and the nice long neck connecting the body with the head at top of the bed.
The lean angular chin, he thought he recognize that chin anywhere. He had studied it hundreds, thousands of times, those thin lips sporting that tight perpetual smile that Sam always gives whenever he did not agree with something, whenever, he decides to give Dean the benefit of the doubt or he wanted time to think something over. That long and pointy nose framing those sad puppy eyes even with his eyelids closed the drooping eyelashes that cascaded like fine black silk gives Sam an angelical look. His long black hair. He had wanted Sam to get a haircut, but Dean now realize that Sam would not be Sam without his girly long hair. He loved that hair he wanted to touch the shinny-silky-smooth black hair for so long and comb it through just like when they were children and Dean was responsible for getting baby Sam ready for life in the road with their dad and the Impala.
Dean makes a goofy drunken smile as he whispers, "Sam! Sammy! Wakey-Wakey!" Then, the horror pierces Dean right in the heart like a venomous spear ripping through the muscle to hit its mark. He feels the room enclosed and the air goes out of his lungs. The nausea, the spinning, he snaps his head so fast that he almost stumbles out of the chair.
"You're dead! And I'm drunk!" He finds his balanced and sort of stands up and leans on the bed while his insides decide to get back in place or runaway. "I'm sorry Sam. I have no idea how long, I passed out." He looks for a clock. His watch or Sam's were not to be found just like his precious Impala. He finally is able to get his bearings and look around and goes and search all over the small cabin that only has four large rooms. The kitchen, living room/library/research center, one bedroom and the to die for bathroom. "Not a fucking clock to be found! I though you said we got everything we need in here. What about a way to tell time? Dean's says exasperated.
He looks outside the window but the Sun was still up mid-sky; however, that meant nothing. How long had he been out? A day, few hours, there was that time when he was living it up with Crowley and he was in one of his drunken stupors he had lost five days. According to Crowley, he had been sleeping it off, all Dean could remember was that one minute was September 10 and the next it was already the fifteen.
"Great! Outside is fucking sunny California mixing it up with Seattle rainy days." Dean takes a deep breath and adds, "Fuck it! I do not have time for this shit!"
He goes to the fridge and grabs a cold one, he opens it and as he is about to gobble it up, he stops, "I don't think this is a good idea. Let's just stay away from beer and all alcohol from this place or at least until Sam has come back from the dead."
Dean at this time closes the fridge dumps the beer in the sink and goes to the bathroom to clean up and take care of very human business. Once he is washed up and dressed in his favorite blue jeans, Def Leppard t-shirt, flannel shirt and comfortable cowboy boots, he takes one last look off himself in the mirror and says, "Dean, you're awesome! With this face and baby blues, no chick could resist you. I bet I can even convinced Sammy's true love to fuck his dead brain out and bring his breath of life back. Necrophilia be damn. Let's go and save Sammy's bonny ass."
Whistling his favorite tune and a smile in his face Dean goes to the bedroom and as he opens the door, "Something is so wrong here! Why the fuck am I so chirpy? This place gives me the creeps!"
Dean scans the room as a force of habit, living as a hunter came with a price, kill or be killed. Once he is satisfied that nothing is amidst he begins, "First thing is first, dress Sammy, then walk on memory lane, find Sam's true love and force her to fuck the life into my brother, get drunk with Sammy and Cass maybe Crowley can tag along and lived that epic life. Don't sweat it Dean! Piece of cake!"
Dean collects Sam's clothes from the floor and goes to the bed and as he takes one last look at Sam's naked body, he notices something, "That's odd! Of all the places he could spare from damaging, like your ugly face or…" Dean takes a quick look at the bottom part of Sam's body while continuing, "Your equipment for one, he chooses not to touch your left shoulder. Why does she needs a perfectly good looking shoulder?" Then making a face, he adds, "Maybe to cry her eyes out once she sees you little brother. I know you're beautiful. Hell! We both can pass as underwear models, but she does not know that. Don't worry Sammy, I will win her over with the Winchester's charms and good looks. I will even tell her that you are a hundred times better looking than me."
Dean places Sam's clothes in the bedside dresser as he sits alongside Sam's lifeless body. He contemplates his face one more time, "Really dude! Your head looks uglier than Pin's head from Hell riser. Your beautiful hair almost all gone."
Dean tentatively touches some strands of hair from Sam's destroyed face. He closes his eyes and breathes Sam's scent that mix of mint aftershave and vanilla coffee beans. Myriad of Sam's images crosses Dean's mind. Sam's sleepy head resting in the Impala's window down and the fresh air messing his long hair. Sam smiling face with the sun shining on him as he pulls his hair back away from his face while both of them listen to Dean's classic rock and the Impala roaring going somewhere anywhere. Too many memories of him and Sam on the road. Sam with long hair, Sam with short hair, Sam with no hair. As a toddler, his father had shave Sam's head saying that all babies need it to have their head shave at least once in order to grow up with gorgeous hair or at least that was according to Mary, their mother. She had shaved Dean's head as a baby and now it was to become a tradition to shave all Winchester's boys' head at least once.
Dean feels his lips curl up into a smile as the memory of Sam's bold head fades from his memory. He takes one more deep breath to let Sam's scent wash all over him and opens his eyes. "What the…" Dean pauses to fully understand and appreciate what his eyes were looking at. He was holding to a bunch of Sam's thick full hair on his hand.
"How is this possible?" Now Dean begins to experiment touching a strand, holding as much hair it was possible but nothing happen. Then, he remembers he had his eyes closed and he was going over every possible image of Sam's hair. After a few seconds into the trance, he felt it. The hair growing and coming to life in his hand. He could almost see the scalp reforming itself on top of Sam's cranium. He could not tell how long he had been doing it but it was done Sam's hair was all there every single strand not a single one missing. He had no idea but somehow he knew Sam's gorgeous hair was all in place. "Well, Sam at least your hair is back!"
Dean move away from Sam and sat on the chair beside the bed to better appreciate his handy work. Then sighing, he adds, "It's going to be a long night or day or whatever the fucking time it is. I will make you presentable Sammy. I can promise that at least a dozen bitches will be lining up to fuck you to life. No one knows your face, every single scar in your body better than me, Sammy."
Dean now stands up and gets ready to begin to heal Sam just as he remembers seeing it on TV; however, nothing happens. He closes his eyes and pictures every single-possible Sam's moment from the moment he first held him in his arms at a few hours from his birth till seconds before they went into the abandon building. And, yet, nothing happens. Puzzle, Dean sits down to try to figure out what was he doing different from the hair thing.
"Physical contact! That's what's different!" Deans speaks out loud and then gets busy testing his theory.
Sitting on Sam's left side, Dean faces him and puts his right hand palm down on Sam's forehead. At first nothing happens, then as he closes his eyes to picture Sam's every worry line, scar and blemish as he remembers him some heat begins to emanate from his hand. Dean opens his eyes and sees how the flesh was closing in itself repairing the damage skin leaving behind nothing but a smooth surface. Then with his forefinger Dean begins to trace Sam's face starting from his forehead going down slowly the nose line. Sam has a long pointy nose, some called it a Greek nose. He likes Sam's nose. Sometimes when they are on the road and Sam is asleep. He likes to watch him. Paying attention to his every move. The way he wrinkles his nose when it itches or when he is snorting.
Then slowly very slowly almost reverently he traces Sam's mouth. Sam has thin lips unlike his own, full and meaty. But even so, Dean likes Sam's lips. They are perfect for Sam's smile that smile that exasperates him at times. That tight lip smile only means something, Sam's not happy and it is his way to let you know that he will go along; however, he will find his own way on his own time. Those thin lips are unobtrusive when Sam's show you his full smile that smile that is so contagious that no matter how angry Dean is with Sam, he cannot help it but smile too and forgive and forget the matter.
Dean traces a circle on Sam's right side cheek. He has lean-bony cheeks. Dean on the other hand has chubby checks. Sometimes Sam's teases him telling him, he looks like the hamburgers he likes to eat so much. Crossing over the bridge nose, Dean traces Sam's left cheek then on impulse he pinches both cheeks with his hands just the way he used to do it when Sam was being his annoying self. When Sam was about three or four, he used to ask lots of question. Dean can still hear Sam's baby voice asking, "Why? But, why?" Sam always asked a lot of questions unlike him. His dad used to say that Sam and Dean were opposite. Dean was quiet and follow orders and Sam had to always know everything and he rarely follow orders without questioning them. At times he pestered Dean and Dean did his best to answer as best as he knew how; however, sometimes Dean did not knew the answer himself and Sam could not understand that so Dean will pinch his cheek that was the only way he could make Sam stop pestering him.
Tears begin to roll down Dean's own cheeks and fear to take hold of him. What if he cannot find Sam's true love in time? What if the bitch refuses to sleep with Sam? What ifs? Circle in his mind like vultures how far would he had to go to bring Sam to life? Wiping his face with both his hands, Dean looks at Sam once more. Sam's face was almost back to normal the only thing left to repair was Sam's eyes. His closed eyelids were all scratch; however, Sam's eyelashes were intact. Those long and straight dark eyelashes that make Sam's eyes look brooding and mysterious. Lisa had told Dean once that his small blonde eyelashes make his eyes look open and bright giving him that air of the devil may care he walked around with. But, Sam's long eyelashes make him seem full of secrets and distant, cold-hearted. Dean had laughed it off and told her that she was so wrong but later discover that Sam was full of secrets and cold-hearted on the account of not having a soul but sometimes Dean could not be so sure. Ever since Sam had told him that he could see himself out of the hunter's life and not flinching at the fact that he would not look for Dean, he could not shake the feeling that Sam would be such a heartless bastard.
Dean places his hand to cover Sam's damaged eyes and as he conjure up images of Sam to repair them, he finds himself staring at a young Sam's eyes. It was the Christmas day when Sam had given him the necklace that had been intended for his Dad. Sam was looking at him with his hand extended with the newspaper wrapped present. Dean was again a teenager trying to make Sam feel good on Christmas day. Dean grabbed the present already knowing what it was but at the same time he was able to feel the emotions swelling on his younger self. That sense of pride he felt because Sam had acknowledge him as the one who look after him. And then it happen, Dean felt and saw all at the same time a spark. A blue light crackling with tiny white lights as he stare at Sam's eyes. Sam's eyes were fixed on him and they reflected a small flame his own flame and he heard himself thinking and the flame growing larger and brighter filling him with an undescribed ecstasy. "Sammy! You're the only one for me. Keeping you safe, my only purpose in life! I will protect you! I will give you everything that I am. It's only you and me, no one else matters. I will live and die for you Sammy!"
Taking a big gulp of air, Dean lets go of Sam. He opens his eyes to find a lifeless Sam with his eyes open staring back at him. "What the fuck was that?"
Dean stands up and paces around the room trying to put his thoughts in order. "No! That cannot be true! I was just a child. I'm sorry Sam! I'm sorry! I did this to us."
Moving back to stand at the bedside, Dean tries to control his erratic breathing. Things could not get any weird. Sam's eyes were still open looking into space but there was no life on them, no movement. Dean sits down again and covers Sam's eyes closing his eyelids gently. Then, he checks for signs of life but there was no breathing, putting his head on top of Sam's chest to hear for a heartbeat there was none. Dean feels Sam's face warm to the touch but the rest of his body was stiff cold. "This is too much man! I didn't know that I was practically marrying you."
Dean closes his eyes once more to concentrate and the images came again flooding his mind. Sammy looking intensely at him while he was putting the necklace on. Then, looking up to lock gazes with Sam and his head full of thoughts. The spark growing into a larger than life white-blue bright flame. A light that illuminated the whole room, Dean could swear the light had cover the world itself then as he finished saying the last words a link shooting out of his body straight into Sam's. It was a link-chain made out of the same color as the glowing flame. It pierced Sam's chest burying itself in Sam's heart. For a few seconds the room was so bright and the link so real that Dean could touch it and feel it pulsating like a living heart. The chain was alive. Then it disappear, the light was gone. The room was back to normal and Dean and Sam were engage in some antics. They were back to being two children trying to comfort each other in a world where no one else matter.
Dean open his eyes, taking a deep breath. He could no longer see the link but he could feel the weak pulse. It was still beating but ever so slow, like if it was dying. "I'm your true love Sammy. I chained myself to you." He stays down with his head resting on Sam's chest. His eyes scanning Sam's upper body. It was smooth again. It feel warm to the touch but he still could not hear a heartbeat or breathing. After sometime, he could not really say how long he got up and finished examining Sam's body. It was back to normal. At first glance, he could swear that Sam was just sleeping if not for the fact that his heart was not beating or his lungs breathing.
Dean left the room and found himself at the kitchen standing with the fridge's door open staring at the food and bottle of beers stock in it. "You're a sick bastard! I thought you hate homosexuals. How could you do this to us? We're brothers! He is my baby brother. I'm supposed to protect him not become a predator and rape him." Dean grabs a beer and closes the fridge. Finding the nearest chair, he takes a sit and chugs the beer down.
"I did not do anything Dean. It was all your choice. Your words, your desires. I am just interesting on seen them come true. I want to see how much brighter that flame can glow. About homosexuals, I do not hate them. What you all don't understand is that I do not see sex, males-females, I see sparks of life. I only see life-forms. And I'm only interested in seeing what those sparks bring to the world. The world I have created for my entertainment."
"What about incest?"
"What about it? Remember Dean, free will. I gave you free will. There was only one rule. The rule was not to eat from the forbidden fruit and out of your own free will you all decided to ignore it and do as you please. So, I change the rule and you were bound to suffer for your disobedience. But that only involve for you to work hard and experience pain; however, you keep asking for rules and I give you the Ten Commandments. I do not recall anything about incest. Dean, those commandments were meant to be guidance for a peaceful life. Now, you all went ahead and made them into rules. It is your free will that has created all those moral and immoral actions. Only Angels and all other supernatural beings have rules; humans do not have rules. You are the only ones with free will."
"So, what are you telling me? There is no homos in this story or incest or wrong actions at all." Dean had finished his beer and was playing with the bottle while trying to get his head around all this information.
"All I'm saying Dean is that no one is forcing you to do anything. You make your own decisions and you're the only one who has to live with the consequences."
Dean gets up to grab a second beer, "My choice! My fucking choice!" He gulps the beer and lets the cool air coming out from the open fridge wash over him. He snorts, "How could a teenager make a life changing choice like that?"
"It's all about resonance!"
Dean grabs a third beer and taking a sit sighs, "What you mean by resonance?"
"All I can say is that I'm the creator. Every single life-form is a part of me. I took a piece of me and made it into a puzzle with myriads of life-form pieces. Therefore; once a piece finds a perfect match, it doesn't matter what type of life-form it resonates with it latches into it and becomes one piece to complete the larger puzzle that it's me."
Huffing, Dean puts a half empty beer bottle on top of the table and says, "So, I can rape my brother and he lives or I can die of a broken heart."
"Why should it be rape? Why not an act of love?"
"An act of love, you said!" Dean becomes pensive as he feels the presence withdraw once more. The nothingness is again his only companion.
Dean light headiness reminds him that drinking in this place the way he does it's not a good idea. He stares into the half-empty bottle of beer in front of him. His mind a blank because he was afraid of the dangerous thoughts circling inside. He refuses to look deeper into the recess of his mind. The inhibitations running low were showing him things that he had made a point to ignore and buried deep within his heart. Things like why he did not have a type when it came to women. If he was to be honest, he already knew that no one fit perfection like Sam's face. The way he smiles, wrinkles his nose, the light hits his face or the wind blows his hair. He could only look for things that were not Sam, like big breast or big butts. If he was to be honest, he already knew that home was were Sam was. He had played house with a few women and it never felt right. There was always something missing; however, life in the road with Sam, living from dingy motel to squatting, or back at the bunker felt just perfect, nothing missing there. If he was to be honest, the only reason he was always so willing to sacrifice himself so easily was because a life without Sam, a world where Sam was no longer part of it was not worth living. And he was a coward, he rather die first than face a solitary life. He had already tried once at Sam insistence. He made a promise to Sam and he really tried. Those months living with Lisa where worse than hell or life in purgatory. Lisa and Ben did their best to help him coupe. He did his best to pretend and the only reason he never succeeded at taking his own life was the hope that Sam miraculously will come back or the thought that when the time came and he faced Sam. Sam would be proud of him.
"So, it comes to this!" Dean slowly shakes his beer and then in one gulp finishes it He stands up and without hesitation goes and takes a shower.
He lets the scalding water wash over his entire being. He had made already his decision; however, he was stalling because there was one more thing he needed to be sure of. The only thing capable of making him think things twice about anything and everything. He needed to be sure that he will be able to face the consequences no matter what. He only feared one thing in life more than Sam dying and that was what gave him pause. Finally, he closed the water grabbed a towel to dry and walked to the room.
He stood under the doorsill for some time. One of the things he loved more than eating pie or greasy cheeseburgers was watching Sam sleep. Then, he dropped the towel that hung from his waist and walked slowly towards the bed. He measure each step. He had never been a religious man; however, this moment felt to him like a religious experience. Therefore, he was savoring each second because after today, things between him and Sam will never be the same. He lays down next to Sam and carefully almost afraid to wake him up Dean caresses Sam's head. Dean weaves his fingers around Sam's smooth and silky hair with soft and hesitant touches. He becomes bolder as time passes and accommodates his body on top of Sam's. He aligns shoulder to shoulder. His fingers weaving in and out of Sam's hair. He loved to touch that hair. He had forgotten how good it felt to have his hands work out any tangle strands. One of the things he used to indulge was combing Sam; however, once Sam was old enough to hold the comb he could no longer do it. Sam was always a very independent kid, so Dean had to give up many things he loved to do. But right now, he was able to indulge again and this time there was no holding back at all.
Dean breathes Sam's scent the shampoo was a mixed of berries. The aroma was clean-fresh a semi-sweet citrusy scent. It blend well with Sam's natural scent of mint and vanilla-coffee beans. Dean thought he could spend eternity smelling Sam's hair. He had find the perfect spot. His body align to Sam's and his face inches away from Sam's. It was heaven itself. Dean had kept his eyes closed all this time. It was his way to show reverence to Sam and this moment the almost perfect moment between him and Sam. Perfection will be Sam actually enjoying it too. Dean slowly opens his eyes as he lets go of Sam's hair and he once more allows his forefinger to trace Sam's face. He spends precious seconds exploring every single inch of Sam's face finally stopping on Sam's lips. Those lips that mouth that now taunt him. Offering him the promise of a forbidding feeling. His emotions heightened, he feels himself being drawn towards them. He tentatively pecks them. It was a soft butterfly kiss barely registering the warm lips. Deans breathing becomes heavy-rugged.
He moves causing friction between both bodies and the blood flooding him rushes from head to toes. His manhood gets excited and the penis begins to engorge. Dean closes his eyes once more and plants his mouth on top of Sam's. He lets both lips align, warm each other until his own become iron hot coal. Without thinking, he grabs Sam's head with both his hands and begins to move it around as he seeks entrance into Sam's mouth. His tongue probing and pushing until Sam's lips finally part. The breath that escapes from Sam's mouth intoxicates Dean. It's a mixed of all his favorite pies. Sam tastes like homey apple pie. He touches Sam's tongue and as he sucks on it. He is reminded of sour and citrus kiwi-lime and sweet and citrus cherry pie. Dean could spend hours sucking on that silky tongue, biting those soft lips trying to absorb Sam's mouth. Regretfully Dean lets go of it because air had become necessary for him. He rest his head on top of Sam's chest as he tries to drink in the air and calm down his racing heart.
While resting, his right hand finds a home in Sam's hair and his left hand lazily traces Sam's still pecs. The thump-thump of his heart is racing so fast that Dean feels is going to jump out of his body any second. He is aware of his hard on pushing as he moves Sam's flaccid penis. It is seeking entrance to start thrusting. He cannot hold one more second. His body is burning. Dean moves and kneels on the bed. He positions himself in between Sam's open legs. He bends Sam's legs and let them rest each on each of his shoulders and carefully begins to use the pre-cum as lubricant. He then in one fluid thrust inserts his manhood into Sam's. He is staring at Sam's placid face. He observes Sam's face for any movement, but there is no change in Sam's stillness. Dean feels the encroaching of his swollen penis by Sam's contracting asshole. And that feeling in itself was glorious. He had taken many women before by their ass and he loved the feeling but being inside Sam's felt just indescribable. Automatically, he thrust in and out picking up the pace. The spasms flooding his entire being give him a sense of godliness. He could die now and have no regrets at all. He thrust in and out and kept going with no sense of time passing. He had no idea for how long he had been thrusting in and out of Sam's asshole but his legs were shaking hard and uncontrollably. He knew he was about to reach his climax. He wanted to keep going just the rhythm and the spasms make him feel like a god, but his body could no longer keep up. He felt the last spasm run through like being strike by lighting and the warm liquid explode inside Sam. Just a few seconds and he felt flat on his face on top of Sam's chest. His legs gave up, his whole body shaking, trembling, exhausted, the last drop of energy leaving him as his flaccid penis slide down from Sam's warm asshole. Then, a welcoming sleepiness, Dean smiles and cozily finds himself embracing Sam as his heavy eyelids closed and the mix of sex, vanilla-coffee beans, mint and sweet-citrusy cherry pie permeates the room.
"Dude! I can't breathe." Sam tries to push Dean off him. "C'mon Dean! Move!" He pushes harder but Dean does not budge.
"Jesus Christ! I swear dude. You need to lay off the cheeseburgers and the pies. You're getting fat." Finally, he is able to roll Dean off him.
He starts to sit down on the bed and to stretch when a face-down Dean picks up his face and with scrunch eyes looks around trying to get his bearings.
"It's about time dude. I've been trying to wake you up forever." Sam smiles as he lets his hand drop on top of Dean's hair and messes it up.
"Sam! Sammy! You're alive." Then in one fluid movement, Deans Stand ups from the bed and stares at Sam as he yells, "You're alive!"
"What's up with you? I won't die of a hangover." Sam smiles widen and he throws Dean one of the pillows from the bed.
Dean shakes his head making sure he is awake and continues, "You're really alive."
Sam's gets up from the bed and begins to walk towards the bathroom as he massages his naked ass and adds, "C'mon dude! What's up with the death jokes? I know I drank a lot last night but you know I always drink a lot in our anniversary. It's not like a passed out on you."
Dean makes a double take. He is not sure he heard right. "Anniversary? What anniversary?"
Sam stops at the door before opening and turns to face Dean as he says, "Dean, is not funny! You pass out on me after fucking my ass like crazy. I swear man! Every year is the same. You fuck me like there is no tomorrow. And in top of that you fall asleep, you know I hate to go to sleep with cum all over. And now, what anniversary? I'm supposed to be dead! Seriously, what's up with you? It did not look like you were having a nightmare. It was more like you've die and go to heaven."
Sam face turns serious as he looks at Dean; then, he comes back and stands next to Dean. Placing his right hand on Dean's left cheek, he asks, "Are you okay? What happen Dean? You're not joking. You seriously think I was dead."
Dean sighs and sheepishly looking at Sam asks, "Is it okay? Are we okay?"
"What you mean? Dean, what's going on? Remember, what we talk about no more keeping quiet or having secrets." Sam's cups Dean's face on his hands and search his eyes for any trace of secrets, lies.
Dean lowers his head in shame. He is not sure if he has gone crazy or he is dreaming, but he has to come clean. After taking a deep breath, he picks up his head to face Sam. "I rape you Sammy. I rape you last night."
Sam laughs a hearty laugh as he adds, "Oh! It's that what this is about. You're feeling guilty because I told you if you fuck me one more time. I will not forgive you and it would be as if you have rape me."
Sam now pulls Dean towards him as he navigates both of them to the bed. Once both of them are sitting Sam finds Dean's mouth and gives him a deep throat kiss. Sam's grabs Dean and lays him on the bed without separating from him until the air is necessary for both of them. Then as they catch their breath, Sam' removes some strands from Dean's forehead and says, "Dean! I was joking. I know your limit is five consecutive times and I am glad for that; otherwise, my body will not be able to take you. As it is, it's hard for me to move the next day after our special time."
Dean pulls away from Sam and sits on the bed as he says, "No, Sammy! You don't understand. You were dead and I have to give you the true love's kiss. Only that it means, I have to commit acts of necrophilia. And I wasn't sure because I knew I had to rape you. And as much as I want you alive, I fear to lose you. I mean. I know you will hate me because to tell you the truth Sammy. I love you! I love you, so much that I cannot live without you. You are the reason of my existence."
Sam lays down looking up at the ceiling and stroking the bridge of his nose, he adds, "So! You were dreaming about the accident in the mountains."
After a long pause, Sam sits too and faces Dean, "Dean! We've gone over this. I'd have died of hypothermia on that cave. You were just trying to keep me from freezing. Now, you're a very sexual person and your body respond to the proximity of our naked bodies. At the time, I've told you a thousand times, I did not think about it. Later, I freak out but did not say anything and you did not say anything either. Then, the guilt started to eat at you and you were acting out and being so self-destructive that I got scare. I thought I would lose you, so I asked you to take me to the cabin in the woods and got both of us drunk. Then, you know, we've being doing it for ten freaking years. I know that for the past five years, we did not need to get drunk but last night I was in the mood to get drunk. That's all!"
"We've been doing it for ten years!" Dean asks incredulous.
Sam sighs and making a fastidious face, he states, "I'm taking a shower dude!" He moves to go but Dean stops him, "Sammy! I'm not sure about anything right now. Something is not right!"
Sam's face brightens as a wide smiles spreads across his face, "Dean! Don't worry man! Let me take a shower." Then putting his hands on top of Dean's shoulders continues, "Meanwhile, you clean up the bed. Makes us a hangover soup! And then we figure out what's wrong. I'm sure that whatever bad dream you had was just a dream. We can handle it."
Kissing Dean one more time, Sam stands up and makes his way to the bathroom. Dean still sitting down on the bed follows him. His head was spinning trying to figure it out what was wrong. Sam was definitely Sam. He was not soulless Sam. But there was something that was off, the story about them for once did not match with Dean's own memories. He was happy that Sam accepted their relationship; however, Dean knew deep down that Sam his real Sam will not be as understanding. He examined the place once more and everything was exactly as he remembered before he passed of exhaustion. Then, he noticed the bed; it was crumble as expected after two people sleep on it, but where the other stuff was. He felt clean, no stickiness. He picked up the only empty beer bottle from the floor and he went to the kitchen and look into the trash and counted the empty beer bottles and with the one in his hand there where exactly eight. He open the fridge and he saw the same amount of pies, food and beer he had seen before he made his decision to go to Sam. He was still standing in front of the fridge when Sam entered the room.
"Deciding between pie or beer?" Sam messes Dean's hair as he continues, "What happen to the hangover soup?" Sam moved around the kitchen easily finding a pot and grabbing the ingredients for their usual soup while chatting more than usual, "Dude! Be careful, I would hate for the family jewels to suffer from frostbite. They are my favorite chewing toy." Sam faces Dean with the pot on his hand while eyeing him mischievously and delighting him with a sexy smile full of promises.
Dean closes the door to the fridge and turns to fully face Sam. "Sammy, tell me about us. Think of it as if I just wake up and I'm suffering temporary memory loss."
Sam snorts and tasting the contents of the pot answers, "Dean, I don't have to imagine it. I'll tell you about us if you tell me what happen to you first."
Dean grabs a chair and sits at the table while Sam places two bowls of soup and sits in front of him. Dean tells Sam about ignoring Cass and Crowley's advice and his conversation with God every detail including the necrophilia.
Sam puts the spoon in his almost empty bowl as he says, "Dude, that's sick! Don't get me wrong I know how much you love me. I get it. But, I wouldn't do it. The sex part may take some convincing as long as you still breathing. But if you're dead then you're dead dude. I'll do the usual deals. Hell! I've done my share of deals, but necrophilia, I put my foot down on that one."
Dean just keeps swirling the spoon in the bowl, he was not in the eating mood. "Fine! We've established in more than one occasion that you want out. You can live without me. Now, tell me about us."
Sam flinches at Dean's words and tighten his lips and begins to narrate about his trip deep into the mountains. How Dean went ahead and rescue him. He did not skip any details about Dean using his own body and how that brought about the change in their relationship. He recounted the months afterwards ending with their anniversary celebration last night. A long silent pause followed then Sam stood up and went and hugged Dean from behind as he says, "Dean, I can think it was only a weird dream. A very disturbing, weird dream." Then, kissing Dean on the top of the head, he adds, "However, we only have a few more hours of relatively peace and tranquility. Cass call a while ago, I was getting dress when I took the call. He has something for us that needs immediate attention and I told him that we'll get on the road tomorrow first thing in the morning." Then, messing Dean's hair as it was his custom of late, he begins to clear the table and states, "If you're not eating anything, I suggest you put on some clothes. Better yet go and take a shower, you stink man."
Dean kept silent and just sat there following Sam's every move. Sam finishes washing the dishes and leaning on the sink he continues, "Don't even think about another fuck fest. At least for four hours, I want to take another nap; then, we'll see if I'm open for business."
Sam hits Dean's leg with the dishes wet rag and then he goes away leaving Dean sitting alone in the kitchen. Dean sits there for a while then decides to let this day play and see what happens next. Whether it's a dream, nightmare or someone messing with his head, he really did not see the upside down of playing house with Sam. He goes to take a shower and finds clean clothes waiting for him in the bathroom. Once he finishes cleaning up and getting dress in his favorite jeans and t-shirt, he decides to go barefoot, no point on getting all tide-up when all he wanted was to take his and Sam's clothes off.
Dean enters the bedroom to find Sam sitting on bed with his laptop open, "I thought you were going to take a nap."
Without looking at Dean, Sam answers, "Yeah! But something that Cass said over the phone bother me and I just want to have a quick look."
Dean goes to the opposite side of the bed to lay down and playfully keeps messing with Sam's laptop interrupting his search. "Cut it out!"
"I'm not doing anything!"
"Dean stop it!"
"What am I doing Sammy?"
Sam sighs and closes his laptop and gives his full attention to Dean, "I'm still closed for business. Man, give me a break! I'm really sore."
"Who says that I only want you're asshole?"
"What else do you want? All you care about is fucking me raw."
"Nah! I like kissing you. Man I can live and die inside that mouth."
Sam smiles and accommodates to be closer to Dean, "You know something Dean, in all our years together we never have given each other blow jobs. I wouldn't mind you blowing me."
"Really! You first!"
"Hey! It was my idea."
"You're my bitch!"
"Jerk!"
It did not took them long to begin their kissing marathon and pulling each other's clothes off. Sam gave up and let Dean had the upper hand as always. "So, are you going down or not?"
Sam look into Dean's burning eyes. It did not take much to inflame Dean. It was one of the things Sam love about him. Dean was transparent and simple, easy to love and forgive. "I'll give you the best blow you have ever had or dream about."
"Sammy, from you everything is better and greater. Just kissing that mouth is heaven for me. I cannot wait to have my dick inside of it and have you drink until the last drop."
"Ugh! You want to come in my mouth. You know how much I hate cum."
Dean gave Sam a puppy look and he wrinkles his nose as he adds, "This going to cost you five tops. I'll be the top for the next few days."
Dean smiles widen as he pushes Sam down and takes a good hold of his hair. Sam slides down Dean's lower body stopping at his belly button. Dean keeps pushing Sam down and opens his legs wide to give easy access, but he decides to do something else before reaching his final destination and wetting his lips he lets his tongue caress Dean's skin. He circles Dean's belly button and Deans feels the first wave of spasms flooding his entire being. His belly button had proven to be a very sensitive spot. After a few minutes of probing, sucking and stroking it with his tongue Sam lets his hands slide between Dean's legs finding his balls and he starts to caress them while observing Dean's body movements. Dean had his eyes closed and Sam loved the look in Dean's face, he was the reason Dean look at the brink of pure ecstasies.
"Sammy, you're killing me."
"Mmm! Dean, I've not even started yet." Then, he takes Dean's manhood in his hands and while continuing with the circular motion massage on the balls, he starts to give butterfly kisses to the mushroom and letting his tongue slide up and down the length of the penis. After a few more moments of measured torture, he open his mouth and takes the full length into his mouth and begins to suck with a rhythmic motion. Just like he would do to his favorite grape flavored lollipop.
"Oh! Sammy. It feels fucking great." Dean almost whimpers as the spasms hit his body from almost everywhere.
Sam smiles and he keeps sucking harder and harder pulling in and out feeling the engorging member reaching its limit, "That didn't took long!"
"I'm coming! I'm coming!" Dean felt again that striking lighting pass through reaching the end of his swollen penis and exploding. He could swear brilliant golden stars filled the room as the warm liquid flooded Sam's mouth. Dean wanted to see Sam's face as he drank every drop of his semen and he open his eyes. To his surprise he found himself staring back at three curious pair of eyes.
"Are you okay Dean? You seem to be in some sort of pain. I cannot comprehend is a new look for you." Cass says in his monotone voice.
"Dude! Who's Samantha? And where are you going?" Sam asked with a disgusting sort of look in his face.
"Moose! I don't think it's that kind of coming." Crowley adds as he points to Dean's lower body part.
Then Sam moving away from Dean and making it clear that he was disgusted continues, "Dean did you check out from our discussion to have a sex dream?"
"I don't understand if you were having sex in your head, why do you look as if you're in pain?" Cass crunching his eyes turns pensive, it was bewildering for him.
Crowley leaning closer to where Dean was standing says, "Really squirrel! Samantha! Aren't we in denial?"
"Shut-up! Shut-up! Crowley. I need to think!" Dean scans his surroundings and realizes that he is moments, minutes away from entering the abandon building with Sam.
Turning to face Sam, he adds, "Sammy! I think we should listen to Cass and Crowley and wait on checking out that building."
"Dude! I was thinking the same thing, but what's the matter with you? Checking out in the middle of a hunting! To dream about your latest conquest. I thought the waiter's name was Kelly no Samantha." Sam asks not sure what was going on.
Cass then begins to tense up and comments, "It's gone!"
"I think that Angel boy here is right. It's gone! I'm getting the chills here boys." Crowley then makes a show of shaking then with a smile continues, "I'm the king of hell and I think I spend more time hanging out with you guys than actually I do at hell and the result is that I'm in sync with Angel boy."
"You're right! It's gone! And don't think, I'm through with you Dean, but let's finish this first." Sam adds joining in the movement with the others.
Dean relaxes understanding downing on him. It was over. He finally was home. The weird energy that had brought all of them to investigate was gone. Sam was alive and for the moment it was the only thing that matter to him, but he could not help himself but to ask, "Cass, what do you know about breath of life or true love's kiss?"
"All I know it's that it is a divine experience. Not everyone is lucky to live through it." Then, turning his attention to Dean he adds, "Why do you ask?"
"Squirrel! It's what's going on here. You mean that it was meant for you and Moose." Crowley asks as he quickly begins to fill out the blanks and make the connections.
"I'm warning you Crowley. Shut-up!" Dean then sees the understanding on Crowley's eyes and he is afraid all of the sudden.
"The Lord was here! He is alive! He came to us." Cass mutters
Dean then goes around the Impala to find something to clean up as best as he cans while adding, "Yes, Cass! And let me tell you something about him. He's a sadistic-twisted-pervert."
"Ah! Squirrel, you had a closed encounter with the man upstairs and you're upset because Moose here doesn't remember a thing." Crowley smiles mischievously as he eyes Sam, who seems a little lost.
"Shut-up!" Dean warns again as he finishes and closes the trunk of the car.
Crowley walks towards Dean to grab him on a bear hug as he adds, "Squirrel! I can tell you two things about the breath of life or true love's kiss. First, it sucks because the one who kisses remembers everything and the one who receives the kiss doesn't. However, its call true love's kiss for a reason if you catch my meaning. You cannot start a fire without material to burn." Playfully wrestling with Dean, he continues, "In the meanwhile squirrel, I can introduce you to a Samantha look alike. I have a demoness that's very good at shifting or I can ask one of my demons, your call!"
"Get off me!" Dean finally breaks from the arm lock and fixing a stare on Crowley says, "I'm warning you, not a word!"
"I'm just saying. No hard feelings!"
"Will somebody explain to me what's going on?" For the first time, Sam feels left out of the joke and worst he feels he is the punching line.
"Nothing, Sammy! It's a good thing. The danger is gone, actually there was never a danger at all." Dean adds sighing. He closes his eyes to take a peek at the last remnants of the images of his and Sam's time together. Those were memories that he had to lock. The thing he feared the most than Sam dying was Sam hating him. "Who's up for a round of beers?"
"I think that I will join you; although, I cannot longer enjoy the intoxicated effects." Cass responds and walks to get into the Impala.
"I think you should take a shower Dean before you jokers decide to go paint the town red." Sam advices as he gets into the front seat.
"Why will we paint the town red, Sam?" He closes the door and looks at Sam questioning through the front mirror."
Crowley stands next to Dean as he moves to get into the driver's seat, "Don't mind me! I'll just go and get busy with my actual job. Reigning over hell."
Dean turns to look at Crowley then getting into the car and closing the door, he gets the window down, "Hey! Crowley, what about being a cousin thrice remove?"
In the blink of an eye, Crowley was already sitting next to Cass, "What did I tell you Moose? We're family!"
In unison, Sam and Dean answer, "Thrice remove, Crowley."
"Semantics!" Crowley smiles and Deans turns the ignition to get in the road.
"Finally! My epic story is on track. Dean knows and accepts it. Sam, he's another story!"