A/N: Written for the OQ Prompt Party week. It's unbetaed, so all mistakes are mine. A second chapter will follow. I cried while writing this, how about you? Let me know what you felt while reading this with a review :)
::::::
Regina checks her phone as she goes down the stairs of her mansion. If it had been a month ago, she'd have expected Robyn to be waiting for her downstairs. However, things have changed in the last few weeks and her niece is not there. Regina's disappointment makes her heart sting for a moment, but she forces herself to let it go. She has something else to also deal with tonight, something she knows will be painful, and she needs all the strength she can muster.
"Robyn, it's time to go," she says loudly, looking up at the direction of Robyn's room.
"I don't wanna go!"
Regina sighs and holds a hand up to her head to slowly rub the throbbing spot above her eyes. Try again, she tells herself. "Snow and Charming are waiting for you."
Robyn's door opens suddenly, the girl appearing at the top of the stairs.
"I told you, I'm not going," she says forcefully, in a tone Regina doesn't appreciate. "I've been old enough to stay by myself for years now and you know that. Besides, I can protect myself and those around me better than Snow and Charming can."
A smug smile appears on the girl's face with the last comment, and Regina sighs again, this time for a different reason. It's moments like this that she reminds her so much of her father. It's not only her eyes that are the spitting image of Robin's (her hair is another story, it's a mixture of brown and red, a unique color Robyn carries with pride). It's also those smirks that were Robin's way to start bantering with her, especially when they'd first met and bantering was basically all they did apart from fighting flying monkeys together.
"That might be true, sweetie. But I'll be gone all night and I wouldn't want you to be here alone. Snow and Charming have planned a fun night with you like the ones you used to have there with them and Neal. Doesn't that sound nice?"
Robyn's retort comes with a dramatic roll of her eyes. "It would sound nice if Neal didn't spend all the time with that new girlfriend of his."
A few seconds pass and Robyn's eyes widen.
Regina knows that reaction. She's seen it before coming from her niece, especially during this past month.
A few weeks ago, on her fifteenth birthday, Regina told Robyn the truth about her life. She told her about her conception and the unfair loss of her father. She left out the details of Zelena's deception of Robin; her niece was still too young to find out. But everything else had been something the girl had wanted to know for months now, and Regina knew she couldn't keep the truth from her anymore.
Robyn had asked again on her birthday, had asked and asked until she got her answers. Even though she had the right to know, Regina's heart still broke when she revealed what had happened, when she had to relive Robin's death in order to give his daughter the information she wanted.
"He died for you. I never met him because of you. Because of you and my mother," Robyn had told her through angry tears and then had disappeared in a cloud of dark green magic.
She's been furious since then. Regina's attempts to talk to her have been unsuccessful and it's frustrating, but also understandable. Zelena is not there anymore to share the blame and hear the accusations. So it's Regina who has to deal with it all.
Robyn has been avoiding Regina. The loving bond they used to share feels wounded, broken. It reminds Regina of the time her relationship with Henry had suffered. After years with Robyn solely under her protection, the girl has become like a daughter to her. Such a strange notion considering who her parents were, but Regina can't help the surge of emotion that fills her heart when they're together. And so, Regina hopes that their bond isn't irreparable.
The moment Robyn accidentally confided in Regina, when she confessed her displeasure about Neal spending a lot of time with his new girlfriend, was one more moment that showed Regina that it's only a matter of time. Robyn is angry and hurt, but deep down she still feels the need to share her thoughts, her feelings, her magic, with Regina. Regina has been able to see that in some of her words and moves. She knows she might be wrong, and that would be more painful than she's let herself imagine.
But Robyn isn't the only one who's taken something from her father. Regina's hope comes from Robin, from the proof he keeps giving her that his soul is still with them, looking after them with love and pride. And so, she hopes, and keeps Henry's belief inside her as well, two of the most important people she's ever had guiding her through heartbreak and pain.
It takes a few more words - some of them harsh ("You're not my mother or my father to tell me what to do.") - and Robyn reluctantly prepares her things for a night at the Charming's home.
Regina's heart beats fast with anticipation when she leaves Robyn there and drives to her destination. The trip to the cemetery isn't long, and soon she's looking at the stone she knows every hollow, every scrape of by heart.
"Hello, Robin," she says, voice quiet, only for the two of them to hear, and a small smile playing on his lips, only for him to see. "I know it's early. But I needed to see you, talk to you. Are you here?"
She waits, lets a few minutes pass. Nothing happens.
She's suddenly worried that he won't be there. Her voice is trembling when she calls his name again. "Robin? Please give me a sign…"
More seconds pass, more frantic heartbeats echo in her ears.
And then a red feather falls on the stone. A robin's feather.
And a blue delicate flower blooms faster than nature would allow it otherwise. Forget-me-not, it's called, and it's their flower. It's the flower that Robin has used so many times to prove his presence, to let her know that he's listening.
So, Regina talks. She sits on the ground, not caring that her shoes are already covered with dirt and soon her pants' fate will be the same.
When the humidity of the night seeps into her body, she uses his scarf - only used by her now, for years and years - to wrap around her neck and a blanket around her body.
When exhaustion causes her eyes to close, she leans against the cold tombstone and lets sleep take her, wishing to dream of him so she can feel a little closer to the piece of her soul that's been away for fifteen years.
When morning comes, there are a couple more feathers on the stone and one on her hair. Little blue blossoms surround the grave, bringing a smile to her face. Her eyes sting, and she's certain they look red and puffy after the inevitable tears that fell when the unfairness of his death hit her all over again.
"Aunt Regina?"
Regina is gathering the feathers when Robyn's voice makes her freeze. She turns around to face her niece, blanket in one hand, feathers in the other. She realizes how strange of a sight that must look like.
"Robyn? What are you doing here? Is everything alright?" Regina asks as she examines Robyn's face. The girl is clearly upset. There are dried tear tracks on her face, her hair is disheveled and her shirt is stained with-
"Is that blood?" Regina panics at the thought of something bad happening to Robyn. She approaches her and touches her face, her arms, trying to check her body for injuries.
"I'm okay," the girl says. New tears form in her eyes as they lock with Regina's. Blue meets brown, and once again Robyn's resemblance with her father feels like a blessing and a curse for Regina.
"Oh, Aunt Regina!" Robyn says in a desperate voice before taking a quick step and hugging her aunt tightly. Regina gasps in surprise, but her arms automatically circle Robyn's shoulders and she holds her just as tightly.
And for a few moments it feels like everything is right in the world again.
Until another feather falls, directly behind Robyn, Regina's eyes catching it from above the girl's head. It reminds her why they were brought into this difficult situation in the first place. She pulls away slightly so she can look at her niece.
"I'm sorry, Aunt Regina," Robyn says, her voice filled with sorrow.
Regina gives her a hopefully positive smile while caressing her cheek. "It's alright, sweetheart. Do you want to tell me what happened?"
"I did something bad," Robyn whispers. "I used magic - dark magic."
Robyn has always had magic and she was never afraid to use it. When it started it was uncontrolled, wild. Zelena was the first to teach her how to tame it and use it as she wished. Regina continued teaching her after Zelena's death.
Robyn is powerful. The real strength comes from inside her, from the way she is able to gather her inner energy and let it flow as magic. Just like Regina, her magic derives from her emotions.
"You know what I've always told you about your magic?" Regina asks.
"That it's emotion."
She nods at Robyn's reply. "And what did you feel when your magic came out dark?"
"I felt angry. At myself and at the world. And sad. I felt so sad about everything that's happened to you and dad."
The tears return to Robyn's eyes, and this time they fall freely, rolling on her cheeks and eliciting sobs out of her.
Regina's heart clenches at Robyn's pain, and she hates that she has to ask who got hurt by her magic.
When Robyn's tells her that she accidentally hurt herself and that she healed her wounds afterwards, Regina feels a familiar sense of pride. Robyn was able to handle a dangerous situation quite well, to get out of it without a scratch, and not harm anyone else in the process. And she tells her that. She lets Robyn know how proud she is of her and the way she's been controlling her magic so far.
"But… It was dark… It felt dark," Robyn says doubtfully.
"No person is only good or only bad, Robyn. No magic only light or only dark. We all hide both light and darkness inside us, and what we use depends on us. The dark magic you used came from your emotions," Regina explains. "And you managed to make it right, so don't worry about it anymore, alright?"
Robyn nods and Regina pulls her in for a hug once again. "Do you want to sit here for a while?" Regina asks. Robyn nods again against Regina's chest and together they sit side by side on the blanket, close to Robin's grave. "And maybe now you can tell me what you were doing here?"
Robyn starts talking while absently caressing the petals of one of the forget-me-nots. "I heard Snow and Charming talking about you. About you and my dad. They talked about how much you still hurt, how much it cost you to lose him. Snow even cried and… I just felt so bad. I pushed you away because I was hurting and didn't think about your point of view in all this. It sounds very painful to live a life without your soulmate"
Regina takes Robyn's hand and squeezes it gently. "You are right. Your father's death was one of the most painful things in my life. When I realized that his soul was wandering among us, I tried to find him. I was devastated when I failed. But I had to keep going, I had to try to move on. Because I had Henry and you, my friends and all those people in our town who depended on me to be their leader. You all gave me the strength to keep going."
"My mom… Did you ever truly forgive her?" Robyn asks.
Regina looks at Robin's stone for a moment, out of habit trying to communicate with him. He knows the answer, she's told him everything. But how to explain everything to his daughter?
"I forgave her for what she did to me. What she did to your father, however… That's something I sadly could never forget. We'd managed to mend our relationship as best we could and her benevolent actions surely helped. But part of me always remained angry at her about what she did to your father and both his children."
"Speaking of… I want to find my brother," Robyn says, and the words feel like an arrow going through Regina's heart.
Roland has been living in the Enchanted Forest since Robin's death. He's met the Evil Queen and Robin from the Wish Realm, and got used to them while they worked with the Merry Men. He used to see Regina every once in awhile in the Enchanted Forest or through communication mirrors. He even saw Robyn sometimes.
He had a rough childhood and grew up to be a respectable young man who followed Robin's example. Until one day he left. He left the Merry Men's hideout and went to live on his own. He quit his mission to steal from the rich and give to the poor, and decided to stay away from everything that reminded him of his past.
It's been a few years since then, and Regina has only been able to find out that he's physically well. He's been avoiding everyone he used to know though, and she knows it will be difficult to approach him. But it's worth trying. Robin and his children deserve it.
"Alright. We'll find him," Regina says, smiling reassuringly at Robyn. "You still haven't told me why you came here."
"I don't know… You'd think I came for Dad, but I actually came for you. I don't know how I knew that you'd be here. But I found you and that's all that matters now."
Regina's smile grows as she stands up and gives Robyn her hand to help her up as well. She looks back at the tombstone and her smile turns nostalgic. "I wanted to come here before tonight, before this place becomes crowded for the memorial."
Robyn nods. "We'll make it a nice service again. He deserves it."
"He truly does. Now, let's go start searching for Roland, shall we?"
"Certainly!"
Robyn's enthusiasm makes Regina chuckle. She dreads the moment she'll meet Roland again though. The small boy with the dimpled cheeks she once met and loved is long gone, and unfortunately life has thrown them apart.
As aunt and niece begin walking away, Regina turns around to glance at Robin once again.
A new forget-me-not blooms in front of his stone.
It makes her believe that everything will be alright.