For Sale
A/N: This is my first Hunger Games fanfiction. The idea came to me when I was reading another fanfiction story about Katniss being used in the same fashion Finnick is used after his Games. I kept turning over this idea in my head until I felt like I had to write it.
For my Harry Potter Fans, if you like Hunger Games, give it a go. If not, I understand. I'll be getting back into my usual Dramione stories soon. :)
Final note: The story will utilize plot points from all three books, but it will take liberty with timelines and plot. Don't expect things to happen just like they did in the books. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Nope. I don't own the Hunger Games or any recognizable characters or plots. I'm simply playing with them.
Victors
Peeta looks up at me an I see the anguish in his eyes. "You need to go home, Katniss," he says, his resolve iron-clad.
"No!" I cry, shaking my head to clear my thoughts. Seconds ago, I was sure Peeta and I would be going home to District 12, and now - now, it can only be one of us. If I kill him, I resign myself to a life of misery, regret, and self loathing. If I die, Prim is as good as dead too. How long can Gale possibly support two more people without any income?
"Katniss, you have to," Peeta cries, and I can see the tears welling in his eyes as he moves closer. "They need you. No one needs me."
"I do," I say, my voice broken, and this is not for the games. This is for me. Just me. Just him. I don't know how to explain it, but he means so much to me in just a short amount of time.
He smiles sadly at me and pulls me close, kissing my cheek. "You'll be fine," he assures me, and I want to scream at him, but the words are lodged in my throat. "Here," he says again, running a shaking hand down my side until he reaches into my left pocket.
"Peeta, don't," I plead. "We can figure something out."
"They need their victor," he says, his fingers wrapped around a small purple berry. The Nightlock. "Just tell my Father and brothers, I love them."
"Peeta, no!" I cry, but he ignores me, downing the berry in one swallow. HIs lifeless body hits the ground immediately, and all I can do is collapse atop him my body wracked with sobs.
"PEETA!" I cry, shooting straight up in bed. My breath is coming out in pants and I can feel my heart racing.
Shaking my head to clear the fog, I look around. I'm in the Capitol train. I'm safe. I'm going home. And so is Peeta. I sigh with relief when I realize it was just another nightmare. Peeta is safe. We both are. For the first time in Hunger Game history there are two victors.
Flipping the warm covers off my body, I stumble out of bed and open my cabin door. I can't sleep. Not after that. The train is silent, and the clock above the lounge couch reads 3:00am. I go further, down to the dining car, which is stocked all hours of the day. What my friends and family back home wouldn't give for constant access to food. Even with the piles of money I'll now have on arrival, District 12 is reality. It's far removed from the mentality of the Capitol that has never wanted for anything. Even if I could live in excess, I'd never do that in front of my people.
I quickly make my favorite Capitol drink, a hot chocolate, and move back to the lounge to settle on one of the decadent couches. I'm certain Effie would have a heart attack if she could see me consuming food in a room other than the dining car, but I really don't care at this point.
My head is full of all kinds of thoughts and worries. When I go home, what will change? What will be the same? What will happen between me and Peeta? It was never clear what was real and what wasn't between us. I feel certain he at least cares enough for me that he's paid attention to me throughout the years. He knew so many things - things I barely remember. But at the end of the day, it was a strategy. One that I realize now, was all to get me home alive. He never intended on living. That, I'm sure of. How can this boy, only a few months older than me, be so selfless?
Then there are my feelings for him. I've never had romantic feelings for anyone. When you are starving to death, you really don't cultivate a taste for romantic day dreams. I've spent the better part of my life hunting alone with Gale who is, arguably, a very attractive young man. Never once did I consider this an important fact. And yet, when I was faced with imminent death, I did feel something for Peeta. What? I don't know. It's not something I can define, but the thought of him dying made my heart plummet to my stomach. He's become so important to me, but I have no idea what it all means.
"Couldn't sleep?" I startle slightly as the object of my thoughts pads into the lounge and takes a seat on the couch next to me.
"No," I admit, sipping my drink. "Nightmares."
"Me too," he says. There is a long pause as both of us study each other before he speaks again.
"So, what do you think will happen when we get home?" he asks, and I at least feel better than I'm not the only one worried about that.
"I guess we try to move on," I say with a shrug. "What else can we do?"
"I mean between us," he finally says, his eyes trained on mine, and I'm caught off guard. He deals with things, especially emotional things so straight forwardly. I'm not used to it, nor do I know how to respond.
"Us?" I ask, biting my lip.
He shifts uncomfortably - the first sign that he's not as confident as he appears - but he presses on. "In the arena, you said," he swallows and my brow furrows. "You said that you didn't want to go home without me."
"That was the arena, Peeta. I was trying to save our lives," I point out, but the hurt look on his face makes me want to take back my words immediately. He looks like a kicked puppy, and I try desperately to think of what I should say to explain what I really mean. It's true, I was trying to save our lives. I didn't put much thought into how I might have really meant what I said too.
"I see," he says finally. "So, everything, it was all for the cameras? For the Games?"
"Well, no. I -" I have no idea what to say. It was for the games, but not all of it. Not that last real kiss. That one I wanted. That one made me feel things deep inside me that I didn't even know existed.
"You what?" Peeta spits out, and I can see his hurt is starting to turn to anger. I feel helpless. I have no idea how to express myself on a good day, let alone under such confusing circumstances.
"I don't know what to say," I reply, defeated.
I see him go through several emotions before my eyes until he finally seems to settle on acceptance. "I see," he says after several moments silence. "It was real for me, Katniss. All of it."
I open my mouth to speak but he's up and gone before the words can pass my lips. Sighing, I look out the window at the barren countryside. Fuck.
Peeta doesn't speak to me for the rest of the trip, which luckily is finally over. At this point I just want to go home, move into my new house, take a shower, and go to bed. For a week.
"You're a couple in love," Haymitch growls to my left. "It wouldn't kill the two of you to act like it."
I turn to Peeta warily, but he pastes a smile on his face and takes my hand in his preparing for our descent from the train. Capitol reporters are there, and I can't help but wonder if they are at all affected by the desperate state of some of the people in my home district. Or do they even care at all?
I shake the thought from my head and smile for the cameras like a good girl. Just twenty more minutes and I'm free.
It would have been torture without Peeta. He says all the right things and holds my hand, tight and steady, stabilizing me against the flashing cameras and the District 12 crowd that has assembled, bewildered by the Capitol reporters who look almost inhuman to them. I understand.
We push through and Peeta's hand leaves mine, only for me to be swept into my mother's arms. She hasn't really hugged me in years, and can feel her shaking and I smile at her. "I'm home," I say lamely. My hope is that I can repair our relationship. Life is too short for grudges. This is a lesson I'll never forget.
I lose track of Peeta in the sea of blond hair that is his family, but I know we'll see each other soon enough. We are neighbors now, after all.
"Katniss!" I hear Prim's shriek and I turn to find her running toward me, her hair braided like mine on reaping day.
"Prim!" I cry back, opening my arms to accept her as she runs to me, and I lift her to me. The Capitol reporters go wild. I don't care. "I missed you, Little Duck!" I said, looking her over as if she was the one to have spend weeks in a death trap.
"I'm so glad you came home," my little sister cries.
"I'm not going anywhere now," I promise her, kissing her cheek as we walk arm in arm toward the Victor's Village. Until I'm intercepted again. Gale.
"Catnip!" He calls, his face brightening with a smile I've never seen from him before.
"Gale!" I smile in return, letting him wrap me in his strong arms and I breathe him in. He smells like the woods. He smells like him.
"I told you you could make it," he says.
"How's the family?" I ask.
"Fine. We've been helping your mother and Prim move into the new house. You won't believe how big it is," Gale say. I have him on one side and Prim on the other and for the first time in weeks I'm starting to feel like me again. I sigh with relief.
I look over my shoulder and see Peeta watching me. His eyes holding some conflicted emotion. Once I catch him, though, he averts his eyes. Smiling at something his father is saying, but I know he's not really listening. I realize I know Peeta pretty well by now.
It takes about an hour before I'm feeling suffocated. The Capitol people are gone, but the house is still full. Gale is right. It's huge. But, to my happy surprise, it's tastefully decorated. I had been worried the walls would be various shades of neon given what I saw in the Capitol. Instead, it's finely furnished, but not over the top. And I suppose my mother and Prim can do what they want with the place. I could care less.
Visitors have been coming and going for some time, and I need some air. I don't mean to be ungrateful. I know that many citizens of my precious district sacrificed and skimped to send money to the Capitol for me. While it might not have even paid for half a loaf of bread, it will never be forgotten. But the walls are closing in on me and I need to get out.
My mother is playing hostess just fine on her own when I sneak out the front door and settle on the rocking chair on the side of the house. Peeta's house seems to be buzzing as well. I wonder what he's doing. I feel so on edge about him. Clearly he thinks I've led him on, and maybe I have. But how can I explain that I never meant to, and that I'm not oblivious to him. I just don't know what I feel. Or if it matters that I feel anything. Love and the like are useless emotions. Besides, I'm never getting married or having children. Peeta is absolutely made for the role of husband and father. Isn't it better just to let the feelings run their course? For his sake if no one else's?
I hear laughter coming from the Mellark house as the front door opens and Peeta steps outside. I smile at him before I can stop myself. Surprisingly he smiles in return and walks over to me, leaning against the porch rail in front of me.
"Too much?" he asks, and I know he's feeling the same thing I am. Overwhelmed.
"Yes," I admit. "I think the guests will be leaving soon though."
"Mine too," Peeta says. "Then it will be silent."
"I highly doubt it will be silent with your brothers in the house," I laugh.
"Oh, they aren't living with me," Peeta says, looking at his feet.
"What?" I ask, confused. Families always live with the victors. Except Haymitch, but that's only because his family died not long after his Games.
"It's too far from the bakery. They don't want to live this far out," he say. I'm shocked. I wonder if he's upset by this. I can't imagine my mother or Prim choosing not to live with me. Then again, we are a different family than the Mellarks. His mother...Well, let's just say he might be relieved not to live under the same roof as that horrible woman.
"Are you okay with that?" I finally ask.
"Actually, yes. I need time to adjust. They can be...suffocating," Peeta explained.
I nod. I understand. I'm just glad Prim and mother have never been intrusive. There is a lull in conversation and I feel the need to say something. Things are too strained between us, and I hate it. I might not know much, but I know I want Peeta in my life. "Peeta, about the last night on the train..." I begin, he shakes his head at me.
"You don't have to explain. You never really lied to me. I should have had the guts to tell you before we ever went into the stupid arena. I should have told you the night on the roof that everything I said in that interview was true. I should have let you know that it was real for me. It's not fair for me to blame you for saving us. You didn't know, and you didn't lie to me. Not really," Peeta explains.
I gulp slightly. He's so reasonable. He's so forgiving. Who in the world could deserve a man like Peeta? "I told you once, I'm not good at saying things. That's not untrue. I don't know what I feel or how to explain it even if I did. I know that I don't want to be without you. I know that you mean something to me."
He smiles at that and I feel my face grow warm. I'm glad I said it, but I can't help but wonder how absurd it sounds. "I don't know what I'd do without you either, Katniss. Let's just move forward. You know how I feel. And as long as you don't lie to me, I think we'll be okay."
I sigh with relief and feel immensely better than I did this morning. "Deal," I say, standing up to give him a hug. His strong arms wrap around me and I breathe in his scent. Gale might be home, but Peeta is something else. He is hope.