Having Enough
Disclaimer: This story is dedicated to every girl who has had to come to this type of realization. Oh…and I don't own Twilight.
I sat staring out of my bedroom window, idly watching the snow fall to the ground. It had been two months since he left me. Time was passing like molasses; slow and dragging on forever. Tired, I got up and walked around the house just because of the lack of something to do. It was warm in the house and all I was wearing was a tank top and my favorite old sweats.
I opened the door and walked out onto the porch and sat on the front step, letting my feet rest on the snow. I didn't even feel the cold anymore; I was just numb. Watching the snow fall, I realized just how beautiful it was. All the white kind of gave the world a new and shiny glow. Like the rain, it seems to make everything fresh. I sighed deeply and closed my eyes.
This moping around is ridiculous I thought to myself. "You need to get a grip" I said out loud, thinking if I said it, it would come true. "You need to get off your ass and get back to normal. This is not who you are" I laughed, this feels really good. "Ok" I said, getting up and walking back inside "Shower first". Hoping in and out of the shower was quick and easy. Figuring out what to do next was the difficult part.
I sat down on my bed, wondering what there was to do at all in such a small town during winter break. "I could go Christmas shopping" I said to myself. I liked the idea so I grabbed my shoes, phone, keys, and wallet and walked downstairs to my truck. Pulling a granola bar out of the cupboard, I called my dad to let him know where I was going so he wouldn't freak out.
"Well that's great Bells!" he exclaimed happily "Take your time and have fun" I smiled, finally realizing that this new outlook I have will affect everyone around me.
The mall was just as hectic as always, although I did enjoy the silence during the drive. I put my iPod earphones in my ears when I got there and after grabbing a smoothie, I went to find a directory. I knew what I wanted to get for the few people I had to shop for so it wasn't hard to locate the stores on the big map. A few minutes later I walked into a fishing supply store where I got Charlie a new fishing hat. From there it was a craft shop where I got Renee tools and some beads for her new jewelry making hobby. An hour and a half later, I was walking out of my final store with all the purchases I had made when I ran into Jessica who had been coming out of the store across the aisle.
"Oh My God! Bella?" She called out.
I groaned, but smiled "Hi Jess" To say she was shocked was an understatement.
"What are you doing here?" she questioned accusingly.
I let it slide and answered politely "Oh, you know; just some Christmas shopping." Then, because I couldn't help it "Why do you sound so surprised?"
To her credit, she flushed "Well, you haven't exactly been out much." I nodded
"Yeah. Well I'm trying to change that"
To top off the awkward meeting, Mike and Tyler came out from the sports shop. They too stopped, stunned to see me out.
"Bella?" Mike asked "What are you doing out?" I sighed and told him the same thing I had just told Jessica. "Wow" he said "Does that mean you are finally over that jerk Cullen?" I winced, but answered anyway.
"Maybe not over him completely, but I'm not gonna sit on my ass and feel bad about myself anymore." I said firmly "I'm better than that" All three of their mouths dropped open and without a backward glance, I walked away.
During dinner that night, Charlie asked me what was going on. I could tell that he was happy that I seemed to be doing better, but was concerned with the full turn around I had done in a day.
"Dad" I said simply "I'm tired of feeling like crap. My life should not be controlled by a boy. Especially one who didn't think I was important enough to stick around for. I control my life. Not him." He smiled widely while I winced internally because I still couldn't say his name; maybe with time.
"Well, Bella. I'm very proud of you." I smiled and gave him a big hug as I passed by on my way up to my room.
Yes. Things would be better now. I would be fine as soon as I got my life back under control. As soon as I could get things back in order. My grades would come up, my relationship with both my parents and my friends. Hell, I might even get a job too. Who knows? I think I'll just take it one day at a time and let things happen as they would. But I would never let another boy become my whole life ever again.
A/N: Whoa! That was so much fun! I know it's a bit unorthodox, but I realized how tired I am of hearing about Bella and how miserable she was during the months when he was gone. I mean really. No boy is worth that.