Lee was a 5-foot 11 inch man with eyes like green leaves and hair like a sunset. He walked up to Leigh and said "hey bitch".
Leigh, with her 5 foot 1 inch stature, looked like a scared little puppy. More specifically, a golden retriever, with her blue eyes and blonde hair. She pouted at the man. "what did I do to you?" she asked softly.
Lee laughed like a large lologasm. "Listen, little lady," Lee waited. "Lord only knows where my lost memories lie lately." Lee 'laborated. "Lost my language too, thought bitch meant lady." Lee looked at their surroundings. "Where we at?"
Leigh looked confused at first but then she began to laugh like a little hyena. "Oh, okay!" She exclaimed cheerfully, clasping her hands together. Leigh beamed up at Lee. "A quaint little place called San Fransokyo," Leigh answered, clearly proud of her hometown.
"San fransokyo?" Leigh… she looked a little off to Lee. "that's fucking weird." He said. He looked to his left and saw a poster for some sort of robot fight. "Wtf?" he asked. He walked up to it and ripped it off the wall. Underneath it was a hole in the building's wall. He stepped inside and a woman with orange hair and an emo guy were inside. They screamed. "We are Paramore! We've been trapped in here for centuries!" He stepped back outside and placed the poster back on the wall. He could hear screaming, but it faded away.
"PARAMORE?!" Leigh squealed after following Lee through the hole. "OH MY GOD! HAYLEY I LOVE YOU!" She called aftering the fading voice of the singer. "We have to save them!" Leigh turned to Lee with a look of desperation and worry.
"Ugh, fine, we'll save the emos" Lee said. He ripped off the poster back off, and Hayley and the emo guy spilled out onto the ground. Hayley got up and dusted herself off. "Thanks for saving us… but that wasn't funny!" She punched Lee and he fell to the ground unconscious.
Leigh didn't even spare a glance at the man now on the ground. SHe stared at the lead singer with eyes large as saucers, obviously starstruck to the max. "Hayley Williams in the flesh…" She said, voice but a whisper. "I have a naked poster of you on my bedroom wall." She admitted, too excited to be embarrassed about it.
Lee moaned in pain. "Shut up you!" The emo boy kicked his stomach and he died. Hayley laughed at the girl. "I wish I never posted that nude." She said. She walked up to the girl and whispered in her ear. "Wanna get out of here sweetie." She looked at the girl with her deep hazel eyes and bright orange hair. Hayley was irresistalbebb
"I wish you'd post more." Leigh said, laughing as well. Suddenly her cheeks turned a dark shade of crimson at the suggestive tone of Hayley's voice. "youi mean you.. and me... together…?" She asked incredulously. "HELL YEAH!"
Hayley smirked like an edgey 14 year old. "Get out of here, emo" she said. She looked to the emo guy at the eye and he fell to the ground, clutching his chest. He was dead. Hayley pulled out her cell phone and dialed 15 numbers. "Come here" she spoke into her phone. Suddenly, the batmobile pulled up to her. Batman got out and opened the door for hayley, and Hayley motioned for Leigh to get in as well,
Slowly, almost as if she were trying her best to prevent the inevitable, Leigh's mouth formed a perfect "O". She looked between Hayley and Batman as she tried to find some sort of connection between the two. But when both of them were urging her to get in the car, it was like her mind shut off and all she thought about was how she was going to manage banging the both of them.
When Hayley got in the back seat, She looked around at the faces around her. Deadpool, Spiderman, Catwoman, Wonder woman, Storm, Doctor who, Adam Gontier, Alexander Hamilton, Queen Elizabeth IV, and Wolverine all sat around her in a circle, the seats of the batmobile could only accompany 2 more. She waited for leigh to get in.
Leigh entered the car, finding herself squeezed between wolverine and hayley. SH=he accidentally ended up sitting on Wolverine's hand, and when she went to apologize, she looked up to find all of the different celebrities and superheroes looking at. Leigh nearly fantied. Her heart beat out of control and she could barely breathe. She thought meeting Hayley Williams was crazy. She was about to have an orgy with all her fave characters.
Hayley saw Leigh's face and chuckled. "You're cute when all of your fave characters are in the same room together." she smiled. The batmobile stopped and Deadpool got out. Like a bus it made stops and people got out one by one. Finally, batman got out and the batmobile drove itself to a cute little house. Hayley got out and sniffed her flowers. "Those tulips are coming in nicely." She squealed in delight. She turned to Leigh. "Can I ask you something?" She asked. "Not that tho. Something else."
Leigh walked up to the flowers gently toying with a petal as she looked at Hayley. "You know what else has two lips?" She asked the singer with a quirked eyebrow and a smirk. However, she quickly became serious letting go of the flower. "What is it?" she asked, curious but also a tad worried.
"Do you like butterscotch or cinnamon?" Hayley asked. "Also I don't think those are really tulips. Flowers are like men. Some smell nice, and those are kind you wanna stuff in you. But they are all the same on the inside…"
"Cinnamon? That used to be my stripper name. Butterscotch was my friend." Leigh brought a hand up to her mouth nervously. "Cinnam I guess." She answered. Taking another look at the flowers, she nodded her head. "You're right. I think those are alstroemerias."
Hayley gasped. "Astrologies?! In my garden?" She took out a lighter and set them on fire. "Astrology is the devil." she said, her face turning dark.
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not astrologies. Al-stsroe-meria's." But it was too late. THe garden was set ablaze, the flames creeping into the neighbor's yard.
She looked Leigh dead in the eye. "Come in for some cinnamon pie." She said.
"oo~ cinnamon pie!" She exclaimed excitedly, rushing into the house.
Hayley reached into the cupboard and took out a pan, mixing ingredients and then putting the pie in the oven. "And now we let it cook!" She said, smiling. "I have mario Kart if you wanna play while we wait."
Sleigh smiled and skipped into the living room. "I can kick anyone's ass at Mario Kart. OH!" She exclaimed suddenly, turning to hayley excitedly. "What if we make this a little more… interesting? STRIP MARIO KART!"
"Ha! GAY!" Hayley screamed. "I'M IN!" She linked at Leigh. She chose Satan as her character in Mario Chart. "PICK IT BITCH!" She roared.
"OH ITS ON LIKE DONKEY KONG!" which, coincidentally, is who Leigh chose. "Get rekt, ho!" She began the race with a speed boost, aggressively turning corners and doing her best to knock out the competition.
Hayley pressed A and Satan screamed. Satan's dark tenticles came out of the TV and the TV turned into a possessed Satanic Monster. Hayley gasped. Satan screamed. Hayley grabbed a nearby sword and cut off one of the tentacles. The TV crashed into the ground comedically. Hayley laughed. The tentacle re-grew and grabbed Hayley's sword. It slapped her face and she roared with fury, biting the tentacle off. Satan screamed. Hayley's mouth was covered in dark black blood. Her eyes were crazy. She was crazy.
Leigh gasped in such a small, girlish way, hand up to her mouth. She gazed at Hayley, all teary-eyed. But then… she saw the tentacle. Gingerly, she stepped over Hayley's body and grabbed the tentacle. If Hayley was gonna fuck her tonight, then she'd have to do it herself. Satan screamed.
Hayley choked on satan's blood. Her legs twitched. She was turning into a demon. "Leigh!" Hayley yelled. "Don't do it," a glowing sword descended from the sky. It landed in Leigh's hands. On the sword's blade, it said "you are the chosen one." Satan screamed.
Tears falling down her face, Leigh shook her head. "Hayley. I have to…" she said. She wouldn't allow her to become a demon. Sword in hand, Leigh raised it into the air, ready to strike. Leigh screamed. Satan screamed. Leigh let the sword come down, chopping Hayley's head off with one clean cut.
Hayley died. Satan screamed. "what have you done?!" Satan screamed. He came out of the TV. He was a handsome devil. I mean hot damn. He was 100/10. "You psycho B!" Satan yelled. Satan screamed.
Leigh purred like a cat in heat. "Damn. you're hot as hell." she said to satan looking him up and down. Satan screamed. Leigh approached him slowly, hips swaying. "Want to get out of here?" Satan screamed.
Satan said "no." "We have to go to Hell to save Hayley!" Satan screamed. He opened a portal to hell and jumped in with Leigh. "Hey" Hayley said. She smirked like an edgy 14 year old. "Let's get out of here!" not so fast a voice called…. Hayley spun around. It was…. Lee. Hayley Gasped.
Leigh looked at Lee then at Hayley then at Lee. "How…?" Leigh went up to Lee and placed a hand on Lee's face, gently stroking his cheek. "You're okay now Lee." Leigh glanced at Hayley. "You're both coming home safe." Leigh smiled at Lee and Hayley. "Let's go." Leigh said. Satan screamed. OUT OF NOWHERE, an apple falls from the sky! The apple shook and began to give off a bluish glow. "What…?" Leigh said, confused.
"Hoopa doopa!" The apple's voice was deep and boomed throughout Hell. "I AM APPLEMODEUS!" The voice said. Satan screamed. "WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE!" Satan said, screaming. "FOOLS!" Applemodues said. "I shall KILL the chosen one!" Lee tilted his head. "Who is the chosen one?" Hayley gasped.
Realization struck Leigh like a Ford F250 in the middle of a four-way intersection. She looked down at the sword she she still wielded. "It's me…" she whispered, Looking off in the distance, dramatically. "It'S AlWaYs BeEn YoU" the sword replied in an aggressively motivational way. "I know." Leigh's voice cracked with the tears that formed in her eyes. She thrust the sword into the ground, stepping closer to Applemodeus. "I'm the chosen one," she told it. "I'M THE CHOSEN ONE!" She repeated, yelling and picking up the apple. She brought it to her lips and bit a huge chunk out of it, chewing it so hard, Satan screamed.
Hayley gasped. Satan ran to Applemodeus. He took Applemodeus from Leigh and kneeled down, crying. "APPLEMODIUS!" Satan screamed. Applemodius coughed and replied weakly, "Satan…" He coughed. "Go on without me…" Satan started to cry tears of blood and emo music came on in the background. Hayley started to cry, it was too emotional. Satan screamed at Leigh. "You PSYCHO B!"
When My Chemical Romance started playing in the background, Leigh knew things had gotten serious. She looked at Satan crying, a guilty look on her face. "i'm sorry." She said, stepping toward them. She looked as if she were going to pat his shoulder, but instead! she reached for applemodius to finish the job. Leigh ate him right down to the core and tossed the carcass over her shoulder, going back to Lee and Hayley. Satan screamed. "Let's go home, boys," leigh said.
Satan's face went dark. Tentacles grew out of his body. Hayley gasped. She ran to Satan and tried to calm him down. He slapped her away with a tentacle. "You…" Satan said, looking at Leigh. "You think you can just kill my friend and get away with it?! Well you'd better think again!" Satan screamed as his tentacles went flying towards Liegh. The sword's message said "KILL HIM!"
Leigh immediately sprung into action. She did a double backflip towards Satan, grabbing the sword in the process. She gribbed it tight as she catapulted herself toward satan, plunging the sword deep into his chest and stabbing right through his aorta. Satan screamed. Leigh watched as tentacles flailed about and Satan stuttered, sputtering. He fell to the ground, slowly bleeding out.
His body slowly faded away, then… back. "You fool!" He shouted. "If you kill me I go to hell!" He cackled. "REMEMBER WHERE WE ARE!" The sword's message changed again. "Shit son," it said. Satan screamed and a tentacle slapped the sword from Leigh's hand. Then.. they heard a voice. It was… Hayley. Singing a sad song. "What am I to you? Am I a joke, your knight or your fucker? what am i to you… you are my best friends in the world." Satan stopped fighting. A single black blood tear rolled down his face.
Leigh sniffed at the end of Hayley's song. "Simpledy Beatiful…." she said, wiping her teary eyes. Leigh looked at Satan, shaking her head, before running over to him and giving him a big ol' hug. "I love you!" She shouted emotionally, hatchet buried.
"I love you too…" satan sniffled and hugged her back. "Oh BTW" Hayley said, "I'm a demon now." The sword's message changed. "OMG YOU FORGOT THE PIE!" Satan screamed. Hayley gasped. Lee moaned. Satan opened a portal back to Hayley's house and threw everyone in. "ONE SECOND IN HELL IS EQUAL TO 1 DAY IRL!" Satan screamed.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO…!" Leigh screamed, dropping to her knees in front of the oven. The pie was more than burnt. It was charred. Eviscerated. Cremated. You could take the ashes of that pie and replace Leigh's grandmother in her urn and no one would ever notice. Also, the oven was pretty black too. And it was white when they put the pie in it. leigh sniffled, hunching over asnd falling on her side in the fetal position. The smell of cinnamon still barely lingered.
Satan screamed. "I know someone who can help…" He said. He took out his phone and dialed 17 numbers. "Get over here. Nao." He said. A plume of smoke appeared and a demon lady with butterfly wings stepped out. "Hello… Madama Butterfly." Satan said. "hey" she said. She saw the pie and zapped it with magic. It turned back to normal. "Bye" she disappeared. Hayley sighed in relief.
Leigh cheered. But suddenly! Her hand flew to her belly, gripping tightly as she hunched over in slight pain, but mostly discomfort. "Oh god… I think my water broke." She informed them. Satan screamed.
"OH my god!" The sword said. "Bitch!" Hayley yelled. "I almost put me dick in you! What if it touched the baby?!" Satan screamed as hayley was being loud and satan didn't like loud noises. Lee spoke up. "We have to get you to a hospital!" The sword broke itself in half and disappeared. It was too crazy. Too many things were happening. Kim Kardashian stepped in from the other room. "Don't like worry! I'm like a doctor!" Satan screamed.
Leigh looked at Hayley with Narrowed eyes. "Yeah well it was pretty obvious im pregnant." She told her. Breathing deeply, she glanced at Kim as she came into the room, sizing her up. "Oh hell no. There's no way I'm letting you near my baby. I'd rather have satan do it!"
Satan screme brulee'd. Kim K said "Honey sweetie. Baby butt. Nipple hon. Listen, K? Kim? Kim K? Get it? Lol. Anyway you need to shit this leech out. Just shit it out. And breathe. And push it. Push it RIGHT to the limit. I want you shitting buckets until that baby comes out. I want to see BRICKS come out of that bunghole. Ok? So you understand me sweetcheek? I have been to medical school. So shit. in. this. bucket." She stared at Leigh.
"Gross."
Leigh shat in the bucket and the baby came out of her bunghole. Satan screamed. Kim K clapped her hands together. Her work was done. She faded from existence forever with a smile on her face.
Leigh picked up her baby. "It's a girl." she said proudly. She brought it over to the sink to wash it off before taking a good look at her little spawn. "She's… beautiful…" Leigh said in an obviously fake tone. "I think I'll name her… Hayley Lee!"
Hayley's eyes shone brighter than one thousand suns. Satan was blinded by them. Satan screamed. She toned it down a bit. Lee looked at Leigh like she was a chocolate bagel floating in orange juice. "That's an.. amazing name.." Hayley cried emotionally. Lee shook his head in disapproval.
Little Hayley Lee looked happily up at her mammy. The baby looked over at Satan and her eyes lit up. "Da-da!" She said. Leigh looked shocked. Satan screamed. "How is she talking already?" Leigh asked, astounded. "And what does she mean "dada""? She questioned Satan with a frown.
Satan coughed. He looked behind him at the painting on the wall behind him. "Oh. That's a dada painting." he said. "As for the talking, I think she's on drugs or something."
Leigh set her hands on her hips, disregarding the bouncing floor baby. "Don't you lie to me, mister!"
Satan laughed. "Ha. It's like a basketball." He picked it up and SLAM DUNKED it in a magically appearing basketball net.
Leigh sniffled indifferently.
The baby grew bat wings. Satan screamed. The baby screamed and sniffled at the same time. Hayley Lee scriffled.
Leigh looked at little Hayley Lee with a look of Love and luck. Even though the baby was half-demon, she was still proud. She looked at the father with a smile. "I wish Hiro were Here-o to see this. Haha, you get it?!" Leigh laughed.
Satan smiled. "Hiro… is.. gay!" He laughed. "geddit." he thought for a second. "Honeylemon could honeysuckle my D any D my B" He laughed SO LOUD and then satan screamed, his laugh scared him.
Leigh scowled at Satan, arms crossed over her rather large, supple breasts. (she was still naked from delivering the baby.) "Excuse me?" She scolded. "You're the father of my BABY! You aren't allowed to even THINK of another woman! Especially not that tramp!"
"Baby sweet, listen." satan screamed. "I … LUV.. u." He cried. "I don't love that B honey locust." He wiped a tear of blood from his cheek. I wish I were dead, he thought.
Leigh looked hurt. Little Hayley Lee began crying, regular tears in one eye, blood in the other. "How could you even say that?!" "You totally want to leave me for her' I can see how much you long for her! Fine! GO! I'll raise HL on my own!"