AN: Okay, here it is. This is my Dean/Colby epic. I've been playing with these boys for a while now, and I finally decided to give them the attention they deserve. And yes, this is a sequel because I'm a sap. I couldn't leave my boys like that. Dean and Colby have a long way to go, but maybe with some work they can find their way back to each other, and maybe even to some happiness. This story is pretty heavy, and tackles a few issues that may be triggers. Eating disorders, anxiety, child abuse. It involves therapy sessions and hospital visits and I don't pretend to be an expert on any of it. I've tried to make it as accurate and respectful as possible, but it is fanfiction, so there is a need for creative licence as well. This story is all but written, so rest assured if you begin reading, you will get to finish. Anyway, enough from me. I hope you all like this one, it's been a rollercoaster to write. Enjoy!

"Hey, Thorne. You wanna grab some lunch?" Murray asked. Colby looked up at the other cop.

"Nah, I'm good, thanks. Got a lot of paperwork to get through."

"Cool," Murray shrugged, heading off.

Colby sighed. It was exhausting, pretending he was okay all the time, and trying to find excuses to avoid things. Like socialising and eating. He never felt hungry anymore, and the only thing worse than smiling when he didn't mean it, was trying to shove food down when he had no appetite.

He grabbed the next ticket from the top of the pile. Processing traffic violations was the dullest part of police work, but right now he'd take it. Anything was better than the alternative, because when he wasn't distracted there was only one thing on his mind, and to think about that was a different kind of painful. It was the kind that left him with an unbearable ache in his chest.

xxx

He ran into Willow outside the diner. He'd been doing his best to avoid anyone who might ask questions, and she was top of that list. She knew him and... Well, she knew them better than anyone.

"Colby? Are you okay?" she asked, frowning up at him with concern. He knew he must look like shit, so there was no point pretending he didn't. The why though, he could dodge that.

"Just tired. I've been working some extra shifts lately." It wasn't even a lie. Anything to get his mind off what had happened.

She took a few seconds more to study him, but thankfully seemed to decide he was telling the truth.

"Okay. Well take care of yourself."

"I will," he answered, forcing a smile. He just had to get up these stairs, and in the door, and then he could let go.

xxx

Willow had that look on her face.

"Now what?" Dean asked, as they picked up litter in the dunes. She may as well get it out of her system because God knew she couldn't let anything go.

"I saw Colby earlier."

"So?" Dean snapped. It wasn't like he needed to know Colby's business. They weren't anything to each other. Not anymore.

"I'm worried about him, Dean," she insisted. "He looks awful."

Well Dean wouldn't know anything about that, he'd made a point to avoid his former best mate since that night.

"He managed just fine without us before."

"Don't be like that. I thought you two were getting along."

He just shrugged. He didn't have to explain himself to her, and he had no idea what he would say anyway.

"Seriously though, do you know about anything that could be bothering him?"

"The shop ran out of his favourite hair spray? He probably uses a can and a half a day."

"Dean..." she chided. Fair enough, none of it was a joke.

"How should I know? I'm not his keeper. Can we just get back to work?"

She gave him one of those thoughtful looks. She wasn't buying it, but she didn't have to as long as she dropped it.

"Alright fine," she said. "I guess it's none of my business. But he's your friend, Dean. You should check on him."

"Maybe I will," he lied.

xxx

Bloody Willow. What'd she have to go and say something like that for? As if this wasn't hard enough. It wasn't like he'd ever wanted to be on the outs with his best mate. And even if Colby was having a rough time, wasn't that the whole point of it? To show him how shitty it felt.

So Willow wanted him to check up on Colby, but he couldn't. He had to stay strong. Like Colby. Seven years without a word. Dean couldn't give up after a week or two. He owed this to himself. Anyway, he wasn't delusional enough to think that this was really about him. If Colby was struggling, it wasn't because they were apart, it was because he'd had his apology thrown back in his face. He'd wanted to ease his guilty conscience and Dean hadn't let him. It wasn't like Colby missed him. They all knew that Colby could get by just fine on his own.

xxx

He tried to sleep, wanted to sleep, just to escape the torment for a little while. But that night kept playing over and over in his head relentlessly, keeping him awake with thoughts of 'if only' and 'what if'.

Who knows what we might have been.

Did Dean really mean that? Or had he just said it to mess with Colby's head? If so, it was working.

Part of him wanted to believe that this was all a misunderstanding, that they could work it out. But a bigger part, the smarter realist part, knew that they were done. Dean hadn't been messing around. He'd taken charge, controlled the whole thing, done it all his way. Except, they'd done it face to face. At Colby's request. Did that mean anything? At the time he'd felt so connected to Dean, was certain Dean felt it too. He could hardly believe he'd read it so wrong, but Dean leaving him alone was all the answer he needed. Wasn't it? Dean was making a point. A brutal one. It really sucked to be abandoned. To be left hanging without any answers. That was still the part that hurt the most, knowing he'd twisted Dean into this vindictive person.

He'd done so much damage already, knew he should leave Dean alone, had done that so far. But being apart from him was agony, now that they'd spent some time together and he remembered what it was like to be around him, to see those cheeky grins, feel that sense of peace when Dean was close. It couldn't just be him, surely Dean must've felt it too.

And thinking back to that night, there were moments. Moments when he thought they'd really connected, that Dean had wanted it too. Maybe he was kidding himself, let's just be together, but Dean had definitely softened, hadn't he? When his guard had come down a little, shown that underneath the anger, he still cared. Or maybe that was wishful thinking. But shouldn't he have walked out as soon as they were done if it was all about revenge? Why stay and risk not waking up in time to go?

Maybe he needed to reach out, get some answers to these questions. He was gonna go completely crazy if he didn't. And what did he have to lose?

He grabbed his phone. 2:34. What should he say? The truth seemed like a good place to start.

He must've started a dozen messages- apologies, explanations, requests (not that Dean owed him anything)- but none of it seemed right. In the end his sleep-deprived brain could only come up with three simple and honest words.

I miss you

It felt good in some tiny way, to get a fraction of what he was feeling out of his system.

It felt like he'd been asleep for five minutes when the alarm went off. He probably had. And the second he woke, his thoughts landed back on that night. On Dean.

He checked his phone. Nothing. And it stayed that way.

xxx

Great, just how he wanted to start the day. A message from Colby. What pearl of wisdom had he come up with this time?

I miss you

He started to type 'now you know how it feels' but he deleted it. That was just petty. What was happening between them was too big to be reduced to that.

Besides, when Colby had run off, Dean had missed him, but he hadn't had the option to send a text. For seven years he'd missed him, and Colby had barely made it through seven days. Why should he have any relief?

And it was a joke really, three measly words. What could they do?

Dean didn't need this, and he wasn't gonna let Colby influence his life anymore. So he deleted the message and got on with his day.

AN: Stay tuned...