Ok, everybody, guess what?
I'M BACK!
And I promise you this, the sequel will have LOTS more madness, humor, smut, and of course camp!Draco
So it's all good news!
Well, let's get this party started!
Title: Wish You Weren't Here!
Rating: Hard R, with a few NC-17 parts! Don't worry though; you can either get those parts via email, or LJ in a few months time! Wonder which is easier …
Summery: Sequel to Road Trip, Harry and Draco, now 21, are off on a romantic holiday on their own to escape media attention, to actually have sex without being disturbed, and, naturally, to get rid of their parents. But what these two expected changed dramatically after Ron, Hermione, Pansy and Blaise come into the picture, and with a few 'unexpected' additions.
Pairings: All the same pairings! H/D, RW/PP, BZ/HG. Although there might be a few more, depends on how the chapters come out!
Warnings: It's a Road Trip sequel; so, expect a lot of sarcasm, pervy intentions, not-so-funny jokes, a lot of innuendo, smut, smut, smut, the return of our favorite FlamboyantlyGay!Camp!Bottom!Draco, het, bad language, a lot of alcohol consumption, possibility of lung cancer from too many ciggies, singing, complaining holiday makers, craziness and for a new one … pregnancy!
Disclaimer: Oh, yea, I so own Harry and the gang, honestly, if I did, I'd have Harry and Draco get it on in Dumbledore's office and Hermione would go blonde and become a porn star … which, might I add, could be possible … anyway, I own nothing! Don't sue me, I'm so poor I live in a cardboard box in the dump with a over-possessive jam sandwich and my dog as the landlord … true story honest!
Note: all the above won't be in any other chapters, so if you want to know what you're reading, you'll have to come back here! Lol!
And now, the moment you've all been waiting for!
Chapter 1: And So A New Journey Begins ... With a Well Dressed Bang!
"Come on Harry! Get your ass in gear!" A stressed Draco Malfoy screeched.
"Draco! The plane does not leave until five! It's eleven in the morning!" Draco's boyfriend, Harry Potter pointed out.
"Yeah? That's gives us what? 4 hours to prepare and make sure we have anything! If I forget something I won't survive! And what if we miss the plane because YOU decided that we had loads of time! Huh? What then? I am NOT spending the summer a Lake whatever-the-hell-it's-name was –"
"It wasn't a lake, it was a hotel with a swimming pool, and you were just too drunk to tell the difference!" Harry interrupted.
"-swimming-pool, lake, whatever, my point is, is that we are finally going on a nice holiday abroad on our own, and I do not want the whole trip messed up by missing the plane! And I warn you now, if you forget the passports - again - I will hurt you!"
"Seriously, you forget the passports once and they never let you forget it," Harry muttered under his breath while Draco started on a rant about passport officers and plane wings. It was all too complicated.
"And what if we couldn't get any more passports? What if there's a sudden passport plague or something where no more passports are being born anymore? We won't be able to go! I couldn't stand that, I'm NOT spending another holiday with our parents in the next room! That was torture –"
Harry just nodded along with whatever Draco was saying. He was so used to this by now that he just blocked Draco out completely. It was the only way to make it through one of Draco's pointless speeches, and after three years of being with Draco, Harry was a seasoned professional.
"Oh my God! I just realized something! I do not have enough face cream to make it through the summer –"
"It's called duty-free," Harry interrupted again.
"It's called crappy cheap foot cream sneakily disguised as face moisturizer! I am not paying a tenner for foot cream! Ohhh, maybe … no, that wouldn't work …"
Harry checked his watch, 12 O'clock; at this rate there will be just enough time to have a pee before they headed of to the airport.
"Wait! Do I have my mosquito repellent! I need it! I'll be eaten alive and bug bites are so not attractive, Harry? Do you think I should bring some Evian with me? Do you think they sell Evian over there?"
"Draco, we're going to the Caribbean, not to some native tribe, of course they'll have proper water over there!"
"Yeah, I suppose, but still," and with that Draco took out a suitcase, empty the contents from his last holiday, including a rather tastefully coloured sequin thong, and proceeded to fill the case with bottles of Evian and, of course, the monogrammed tissues.
"You know you won't be able to bring that on the plane, don't you?" Harry pointed out.
"Of course not! It'll go into that storage place beneath the plane, stupid!"
Harry shook his head, not wanting to go into THAT discussion again about weight limits on planes and evil men-castrating airhostesses.
"Right, do I have everything?" Draco asked himself, surveying a huge pile of suitcases.
"We'll have to stop at my mom's, she has a bag for me over there," Harry reminded Draco.
"Right, right. Did I bring my flip-flops?"
"For the fiftieth time, YES!" Harry said, said flip-flops were actually stolen from Pansy, which explained the all the pinkness and glitter … Draco wasn't THAT gay! Wait... scratch that... he probably was. After all, Pansy did have other pairs that were much less flamboyant.
"Harry?"
"What?"
"Have you seen my sun glasses?"
"No, are they in your bag?"
"… oh yeah, here they are."
"Harry?"
"What?"
"Will there be any clubs where we're going?"
"I don't know."
"Harry?"
"What?"
"Don't forget the pass-"
"I will NOT forget the passports!"
"Harry?"
"What?"
"Have you seen my nail files?"
"In a bag somewhere."
"Harry?"
"… What?"
"Nothing."
Harry was so close to throwing a bag at Draco's head it wasn't even funny.
Well, maybe just a little.
"Harry?"
"For God's sake! What do you want?"
"If you're going to take that tone with me …"
"Sorry, what?"
"Oh … Damn, I forgot!"
Count to ten, Harry thought, count to ten slowly!
"Harry?"
"WHAT!"
"I was just going to ask you whether your mother will have sun cream …"
"Sorry."
It was one o'clock where Draco was finally packed and was ready to head over to Harry's parent's house to pick up Harry's bags and to say goodbye.
"Draco?" Both boys turned to see a teary eyed Narcissa at the doorway.
"What do you want?"
"Nothing … just wanted to say goodbye to my baby!" and with that she threw herself at Draco and proceeded to hug the life out of him and drown him with tears.
"I'm not going for long!" Draco said, trying to get his mother off him.
"Yes you are! You'll be gone for soooo long that when you come back you won't even remember your dear old mummy!" Narcissa sobbed.
Harry was finding it quite hard to keep a straight face.
Lucius Malfoy, who has made another rare appearance in his family's life, came to the door to find his only son being strangled by his tearful mother who was hanging on to him for dear life.
"Right … Ok," was all he said before taking a swig of whiskey from a hip flask and passing it to a surprised Harry.
"Mother, you're ruining my shirt!" Draco screamed after realizing there was a rather damp patch on his shoulder.
"Oh my God! Not the Gucci!" His mother exclaimed.
"Crap! It is Gucci!"
And with that both Draco and Narcissa started to try to dry the shirt frantically, all the while apologizing to the Fashion God of Gucci and pleading for forgiveness for ruining the coveted material.
"Drink up son, you'll need it," Lucius said to Harry, nodding at the whisky.
After a frenzied trip back upstairs to Draco's closet and half an hour looking for a nice shirt that will go with Draco's trousers, Harry and Draco were finally on their way to the Potter household.
This time they were greeted with a tearful Lily Potter.
"Seriously, what's with mothers and crying?" Harry muttered to Draco.
"I think that they think that we think that they think that you think that I think that they think that we think … what was the question again?"
Harry rolled his eyes and walked towards the mine field, aka, Lily Potter.
"Harry! My darling, I thought you were lost! What took you so long to get here?" Lily screeched while trying to grab Harry, luckily Harry jumped out of her range before she could get her claws on him.
"Sorry, that was my mother's fault," Draco said.
"Ohhh! Your poor mother must be feeling awful!" and for the second time that day, Draco found himself being almost choked to death by an over emotional mother.
"Mum, get off him," Harry said, trying to pry her arms from around his boyfriend's neck.
Lily was having none of it and proceeded to squeeze Draco painfully, who, by that moment, was turning purple.
"Mom, seriously, let go," Harry said, trying not to laugh.
Lily's only response was to grad the unsuspecting Harry with her other arm and proceeded to hug him tightly as well, sobbing into Draco's shirt.
This was the scene that James Potter was met with when he went to see what was taking his wife so long to say hello.
"Lily, maybe you should let go of them?" James asked calmly, knowing that any loud, or angry, noises would only make her more paranoid and emotional.
"NO! My baby is leaving me!" she cried, while banging Harry and Draco's heads together when she tightened her arms.
"Could you at least let go of the one that's actually not your 'baby'?" James asked, noticing Draco's purple face.
"What?" Lily asked, looking at her husband confused.
Then she realized that she was nearly choking the life out of her son's boyfriend, and quickly let go of him.
"Oh, sorry Draco dear!
"S'ok!" Draco squeaked out; voice 3 octaves higher than normal, while massaging his throat while gasping for breath.
He then noticed that his second shirt of the day was yet again soaked from Lily's tears.
"MY SHIRT!" He screeched.
"What?" Lily and James asked together, Harry only cursed under his breath.
"It's WET!" Draco cried.
"Well, we can put it into the dryer, no problem, dear," Lily said, while James and Harry both shared a look.
"You can't put Armani into the dryer!" Draco stressed, rubbing the damp area as if the wetness would magically jump off.
"Well …" Lily said, she wasn't exactly sure how to deal with Draco's hissy fits, only Narcissa seemed to master that technique.
"Draco, get one from your suitcase!" Harry interrupted before a full blown fit started.
"The suitcase is in the car!"
"Well then, get the keys, open the boot, find your case, open it and find another shirt!" Harry explained as if he was talking to a toddler.
Draco glared at Harry for a minute at the degrading tone in Harry's voice while Harry glared back in an 'I mean it' kind of way, sighing heavily in defeat Draco turned around and headed towards the car.
"Well done Harry," James said, clapping Harry on the back.
"How did you do that?" Lily asked astounded.
"A lot of practice and dog training classes," Harry answered watching Draco to make sure he actually did what he was told and didn't sneak off to the nearest shopping centre to buy a completely new wardrobe.
"So you have your flights all sorted out and everything?" a much calmer Lily asked.
"Yeah, we're getting a flight to Antigua and then getting a ferry to St. Barthelemy!"
"I still can't believe my only son is off to St. Barths, that's like one of the most exclusive Caribbean Islands!"
"The perks of going out with a millionaire! Oh, and it gets better, we're staying at 'Hôtel Le Toiny!" (That's the fifth most expensive hotel in the world folks! I did my homework for this one!)
"You better bring me back something nice if you know what's good for you," James warned with an evil smirk.
"I will!"
The couple had hired a cab to take them to the airport, deciding it was better than bringing one of their own cars and leaving it at the airport for a month. The whole taxi trip was spent with Draco in a huff and Harry trying to talk Draco out of said huff.
"It was just a shirt."
"That's not the point!"
"Well, it was either tell you to change or throw a fit in front of my parents, which, might I remind you, was the one thing you wanted me to stop you doing."
"I don't throw fits."
"Sure you don't, and what was that at my house then?"
"She wet my shirt! I hate people doing that, and you know it!"
"Don't I just …"
"And it was the second time today, and I just can't stand it when people ruin the precious material with their tears, do you know how many toxins there are in tears? A lot."
"Thank you Professor Malfoy, Draco, they're just tears, they'll wash out."
"That's not the point."
"Then what is your point?"
"… Ummm."
"My point exactly."
"Hey, you didn't let me finish!"
"Thought you were already."
Harry received a well deserved Malfoy Death Glare of doom™.
"Sorry."
"Good, what I'm trying to say is, is that you know I hate it when I get wet-"
"-Unless it's cum-"
"-Unless it's cum – hey!"
Harry grinned in reply.
"You dirty minded pole."
When the couple got to the airport, they had two hours to go until their flight left, which of course meant Draco shopping at the duty free shops while Harry got dragged along wishing he was sitting down somewhere sleeping.
Harry finally was able to drag Draco away for some food, deciding that eating food before they left would mean they didn't necessarily have to eat the in-flight food, which Harry knew by experience, wasn't the nicest thing to eat.
But before they could get some food, they first had to check in.
"Harry, do you have the passports?"
"Yes. I left them – wait."
"What?"
"They're not in my pocket where I left them!"
"WHAT?"
"Maybe I dropped them."
And with that Harry started frantically looking around him trying to locate the missing tickets.
"I knew this would happen, it happened two year ago when we went to Paris," Draco told the woman behind the check in table, who was looking rather irritated at Harry.
"Harry, hurry up, you're causing a traffic jam!"
"I can't find them!"
"You idiot! Where did you last see them?"
"They were in my pocket!'
"Your pocket?"
"Yes, on my coat!"
"Harry."
"What?"
"You're not wearing your coat, you dork."
"What? Oh, yeah …"
Draco and everyone else in the queue behind them laughed as a very red-faced Harry got the passports from his coat, which was on top of a suitcase, handed the passports to the woman behind the counter.
"Thank you sir," The woman said sharply, as she glared the air-hostesses 'I'm going to spit in your food' glare™
"That was funny Harry, you nerd!" Draco said, still laughing as they went into the passenger food court.
"Oh, shut up," Harry was still angry that what he did was typically a Draco kind of thing. He was meant to be the smart one who did things right! Draco was the stupid one who's only job in life is to look pretty! Why was everything changing now! Life is so not fair …
"Awww, don't get narky on me! I'm not spending an eight hour flight with you if you're going to be all huffy with me!"
"I'm not huffy with you; I'm huffy with the coat."
"Right."
"Calling flight A2547 (Hehe, random numbers!) To Antigua," the muffled voice announced.
"That's us," Harry said, getting up from the unusually comfortable airport chair while taking the magazine off Draco.
"I was reading that," Draco grumbled.
"Come on we're boarding," Harry said, yanking Draco up from the chair.
"Why aren't we moving yet?" Draco asked, looking around him as if there was a sign somewhere answering his question.
"We've only just sat down, they have to board everyone else onto the plane now as well," Harry said. (Did you honestly think Draco would let them sit in economy class?)
"Whatever," Draco said and, with that, started reading the magazine.
Harry meanwhile was enjoying all the luxuries that sitting in First class provided including a TV fixed in to the seat in front of him and free - he hoped - champagne.
"This isn't half bad," Harry commented.
"My father wouldn't let us use the jet," Draco told Harry.
"Oh?"
"Yes, last time there was a rather 'unfortunate' event in the jacuzzi, and he didn't want another police investigation," Draco said.
"Unfortunate?"
"As in there was, lets say, a few people 'taken care of'. All I can say about it really was that it lead to a rather messy investigation and a lot of Mafia involvement,"
"Oh."
"Exactly. We don't tend to mention it at family dinners."
"I can see why."
Draco only laughed in response and continued to read the latest scandals in celeb world.
"Harry, I feel sick," Draco said fifteen minutes later.
"Maybe you should stop reading and give your eyes a rest, that usually works for me," Harry said, not wanting Draco to spend the whole trip with a sick bag on his lap.
"I suppose," Draco said, while Harry tried to pry the magazine from Draco's fingers.
"Are we taking off yet?" Draco asked Harry after the magazine was taken off from him.
"There was an announcement a minute ago saying that they'll be a few minutes," Harry informed him.
"Oh."
Suddenly the engine turned on surprising a few people, but not Draco who by then was shouting 'let's go!' out the plane window.
"Draco we're going in a minute."
"But I want to go now!"
"In a minute!"
"Now!"
"You can't command the plane to go just because you want it to!"
"I can try."
"Try away."
Harry then proceeded to watch as Draco shut his eyes tightly and started to talk under his breath.
"This is going to be one hell of a ride," Harry muttered.
Well there you all go! And please don't forget to leave a review, I love hearing what you think about my work!