T-Bone was sittin' home with his Italian.

"T-Bone," the Italian man said. "We are both a virgin. We to put it in, but whom?"

T-Bone was a dog and left. Italy man sighed, longing for the good old country. He smoked away his responsibilities.

T-Bone went to-bone. He usually just humped his owner's leg in the night, but since he was awake now, he didn't know what to do. He saw his thinfriend Mac.

"Return of the Mac" rapped Mac.

T-Bone kept it real. "Mac, where do you go to thrust?"

Mac thought for a long time about T-Bone's inquiry. "When I was in the third grade, I thought that was gay."

"Good idea, Max, let's go ask Clifford."

Clifford was releasing his long schlong over his water dish. Emily made him the man he is today, but she didn't usually rip off that smalldress. So Clifford the Big Red Dog had Cliffette the Big Blue Balls. "Chairman Mao," Cliffered grumped. "I have not seen a lover within a period of time."

T-Bone strutted in with Thin Dog.

"Mac, what's down whichu?" Emily left with her sextights.

Clifford whipped his neck around and broke a vertebrae. "Go die in a hole."

Emily did not understand dog. Clifford could not move his neck.

"What haps, Teebs?" said Clifford the Big Red Quadroplegic.

"I am in search of hos," T-Bone says.

"Let me show you how," Clifford said and pressed his balls into the slot. Loud disco blared through the speakers of an underground revolution. It was a club called "Clifoord's Brothel."

"Is this where it goes down?" asked T-Bone politely.

Clifford shrougged. "Some nights I stay up eating bedbugs," Cliff shimmied.

Cleo was there. Her butt was spread wide not unlike the plains of Africa.

"How much money have you made me?" said Clifford the Big Red Pimp.

"My ass is grass but here's the cash. I think I'm leaking poop." Cleo handed Clifford exactly 73 pieces of chewed Trident Layers.

Clifford was content. "Perfect," he said. Clifford bounded away with the force of a 9.4-magnitude earthquake, leaving T-Bone to figure out the rest for himself.

Cleo hiccuped from all the beers. "You finally mustered up the balls to come and face me head on, HUH"

T-Boner.

Cleo asked, "Do you want Cleo do be your Cle-ho?"

"No," T-Bone sighed. "I can't. You are like a sister to me. And that is not a turnon."

Cleo sighed haughtily. "Daanang. But I know a bitch that might find you a good lovin."

"Whom?"

"Her name is Clifforis the Big Red Hole."

"Isn't that just my friendwholeft?" Teeb said.

"No, she is his sissy," Cleopatra said. "But I think you'll like h-"

Suddenly, a crash came from above. "Oh, shit" He heard the moans of a familiar woman. The alarm sounded. The whole club knew that an intruder had breached the steamy walls and must be mauled. "We cannot let them know!" a voice screamed repeatedly through the intercom.

Hundreds of enraged canine devils bounded onto the innocent girl's lap and ripped out her intestines with their pearly. There was no more Emily and T-Bone was harder than ever.

"Uwuhh."

And then, the little yellow dog heard a stomping. He turned around - it was Clifforis! Her six teats dragged on the ground. T-Boneless peed.

Cleo pulled her bloody maw out of the flesh of Emily Elizabeth. "That's the girl I was telling you about!" She stepped over the body of Mac, who had earlier been accidentally trampled by the mounds of Clifford's brethren.

T-Bone ignored Cleo's cries of happiness and joy and prepared to get his groove on. He literally entered Clifforis's cavern. After expelling his seed, he left, drenched. He walked back out and found himself inside a different location. When he came to, he realized he was back in the doghouse.

"Wait a moment, this is no doghouse," T-Bone shuddered with his phone.

Clifford put in the last Trident Layer. "Finally, I have enough fuel to complete my mission," said the Big Red "Dog."

The house shot upward from the ground, taking the dog brothel with it. The doghouse was a rocket. "This is our purpose," Clifford uttered. "I shall repopulate my people, and we will rise again."

Emily's corpse was thrown in a dumpster as they ascended into the ionosphere. T-Bone waved goodbye to the only home he knew. His owner flushed the loo.