Lily woke up with a small scream, breathing heavily. She drew her blankets around her small shoulders and took a deep breath. She watched the door to make sure that the silencing charm held. Then again, Dominique, her roommate and cousin, had been spending most nights at her boyfriend's flat, so she wasn't sure that Dom was even there.
She let out another shaky breath and silently padded over to her bedroom door, entering the kitchen to make some tea. The flat looked the same, the long hallway leading to two separate rooms: Lily's room and private bathroom and Dom's room and private bathroom. The layout of the kitchen was the same, with it leading into a small cubby of a dining room, and a living room, with a gray couch and muggle television set. But there was something off. Lily looked around, her cup left on the counter.
"Up again, Little Red?"
Lily jumped at the unwanted voice, flinging her head around to glare at the intruder. "What are you doing here, Lorcan?" she asked wearily. He was sitting on the couch in the living room that was connected to the kitchen. He looked as though he had just woken up, his eyes still blurry with sleep and his hair rumpled. Plus, the couch had a blanket on it, which was a pretty good indication that it had been slept in.
"Is this really that much of a surprise, Little Red?" Lorcan stretched and stood up, stopping in front of Lily. "I've been here every night for the past few weeks. I really don't like hearing your cousin and my brother going at it." Lily wrinkled her nose and Lorcan laughed, nodding in agreement. "Yeah. So, what're you doing up?"
Lily tugged her sweatshirt more tightly around her and tried for a confident smile. "We have the same conversation every night. You should know that I don't kiss and tell."
"Oh, though I wish you would, my little flower." Lorcan gave a wicked grin. Lily rolled her eyes and turned back around to take a cup out of the cupboard. She didn't like being alone with any man when her back was turned, so she hastily fixed her tea and turned back around to see Lorcan looking at her with a contemplative expression on his face.
"What?" Lily asked, wrapping her hands around the warm cup and taking a sip of her chamomile tea.
"Nothing. Just know that I'm here if you need to talk."
Lily gave a laugh. "And even if I did have something to talk about, why would I go to you? You've been torturing me since fifth year. I don't exactly like you, Lorcan."
"Aw, you know that's not true."
Lily shrugged in response. "I'm gonna try and get some sleep. I have to be at work by eight tomorrow."
"Why so early?" Lorcan questioned, moving back to the couch on which he claimed residence.
"I have to do a report on a Quidditch match that's happening at ten. They said that I could come and interview the players if I got there at eight, so I'm going."
Lorcan leaned back. "Cool, what team?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?" Lily teased. "Goodnight, Lorcan."
"Good morning , Lily."
Lily was fifteen years old, walking by herself down in Diagon Alley.
Lily was fifteen years old, in a body bind and silenced while a man was dragging her through Knockturn Alley to a trashy hotel.
Lily was fifteen years old, silently crying as a man was laughing, his sneering face looking over Lily.
Lily was fifteen years old, trying to cry out but being unable to as a man lowered himself over her.
Lily was shaken awake. "Lorcan?" she asked, confused.
His usual calm demeanor looked frantic. "Are you okay, Lily? You were screaming bloody murder and you wouldn't wake up and I was really worried."
"Did the silencing charm not hold?" she asked, her voice raw.
Lorcan's eyebrows pushed together in one worried line. "Why do you put a silencing charm on your room? Why do you try to deal with this alone? What's wrong, Lily?"
"Nothing," she hastily answered. "Wait... If the silencing charm held, then why are you in my room?"
His brown eyes met Lily's green ones. "You said that you needed to be at work by eight and you weren't out of bed yet, so I thought that I'd wake you."
"And you couldn't have knocked?" Lily tilted her head.
"I did knock! The silencing charm probably affected your ability to hear it."
"Wait." Lily climbed out of bed, stammering around her lilac room, trying to hop into her clothes as quickly as she could. "What exactly is the time?"
"It's seven thirty."
Lily cursed. "I can't be late! This is a huge opportunity for me!" Lorcan grabbed her elbow and her breath hitched, but out of anxiety. "Please let go of me," Lily said in a fake calm.
Lorcan let go. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. But can we please talk? Later?"
Lily gave him a calculating look. "Maybe." She went to the bathroom and shut the door, quickly brushed some makeup on her face, and apparated to the field outside the Quidditch pitch before Lorcan could barge into the bathroom demanding answers that Lily wasn't willing to give.
Lily had her quill out, quickly jotting down everything that the players were saying, aside from the parts where they were flirting with her.
"So, your favorite part of Quidditch... are the hot Quidditch chicks?" Lily asked, an eyebrow raised.
Brett Carson, a Chaser, nodded seriously. "And the hot interviewers." Carson winked in Lily bit back a gag.
"I see. And you are aware that everything that you say will be included in the article."
"Yeah, so?"
Lily nodded. "Okay, then. One last question for the team: how do your relationships affect the way that you play the game?"
Helena Krum, the seeker, answered, "Well, you have to trust every single teammate, even the ones that you don't work so closely with. I think that the dynamic of our team really speaks true to this format. We're all friends off the pitch, so we're able to work together on the pitch."
"Yeah, but the no dating law really sucks," Carson said with a pout.
"What no dating law?" Lily asked, her quill poised over the page.
"We're not allowed to date our teammates to prevent any complications with team unity," Talia Chang-White, an old teammate of Lily's and one of the Chasers, answered. "What if their need to protect each other ruined our game strategy?"
"Or what if they broke up and stopped trusting each other?" Elias Cruz, a Beater, questioned with a longing glance at Talia.
Lily smiled and closed the notepad. "Thank you for taking the time out of your day to answer the questions of a mere interviewer. I'll just watch your game and the article should be out by next month."
They all nodded to Lily, a few of them offering her a quick hug, Carson bidding his farewell by giving her his number and telling her that if she ever wanted to hook up sometime to give him a call. Lily set that paper on fire quickly after he gave it to her. He reminded her of Lorcan in sixth year when he wouldn't stop pestering her to go out with him.
Which reminded Lily that she was going to have to face Lorcan eventually. But for now, she was going to enjoy the Quidditch game and pray that the Appleby Arrows won or her story, her big break, would have to wait.
When Lily got back to her flat it seemed that it was hosting a celebration that she was not invited to. "Dominique!" Lily hollered, trying to see through the mounds of people. She spotted Zinnia Jordan, her other best friend, sitting tensely on the couch sitting next to her boyfriend and Lily's cousin, Louis Weasley. In fact, Lily saw most of her cousins dancing around, even seeing her brothers pass her with a drink in their hands. But none of them was the person that she was looking for. "DOMINIQUE!"
A giddy strawberry-blonde stumbled into Lily. "Lily! You came!"
"What exactly am I coming to?"
Another person was shoved into Lily and she shuddered with anxiety. "You haven't heard?" Dominique looked truly confused. "Lysander and I are moving in together!"
"So you decided to destroy my home before you leave?!"
"No! Lysander and I will clean up. We just have one itty bitty request for you."
Lily's stomach was clenching with nerves. She hated parties, where people were always bumping into you and people could touch you and no one would care if you cried out because it was all 'part of the fun.' "Sure, what?"
Dominique gave one of her award-winning smiles. "Wonderful! Lorcan will be moving into my old room tonight! Ta ta!"
"Dominique!" But she had already weaved away through the crowd, not giving Lily a chance to say no. Lily let out a huff in annoyance and pushed her way through the crowd to try and reach her room. It wasn't as though the new living arrangement was going to be much different. Lorcan was right, he had been living in her flat for months. The only thing that was different is that each had their own key to the other's flat.
Lily finally reached her room and quickly slammed her door, leaning against it. "Not one for parties?"
Lily clutched her heart. "What the hell?! Lorcan, what the are you doing in my room?" she bit out.
"You said you'd give me answers," the blond responded, holding out a bottle in one hand and a box of goodies in the other hand. "And since we're going to be living together rather soon, I figured that we might as well celebrate."
"Why would I want to celebrate the fact that a pompous arse is moving into my flat? And I don't drink."
Lorcan viewed the bottle with a look of fake concern. "You aren't able to drink any apple cider?"
"Apple cider?" she asked. Lorcan nodded, patting a section of her floor next to him. While she would never admit it to anyone, Lily thought that it was considerate that he didn't sit on her bed without her permission. Not that she would ever give her permission, but it was still thoughtful. "Thank you so much for giving me permission to sit on my own bedroom floor."
"Oh, it was my pleasure." Lorcan grinned. He popped the cap off of the apple cider and took a swig from the bottle. "I figured that if I couldn't swap spit with you in the way that I want, then I could do it this way."
"How eloquent." Lily accepted the bottle and raised it to her lips, allowing the bubbles to calm her stomach. "I'm only letting you stay here because you come bearing sugar."
"Ah, so now I know the way to your heart, Little Red."
Lily narrowed my eyes at him. "You can ask me one question if I can ask you one in return."
Lorcan jerked his chin in what she assumed to be in agreement. "Okay. But I go first."
"Fine."
"Fine." Lorcan smirked. "Why were you screaming this morning? What was happening, Lily?"
She nearly feinted in relief. He had asked a vague enough question that she could answer the question and still not reveal her secret. "I have nightmares," she answered bluntly.
"Lily," Lorcan protested.
"What?" Lily took another swig of the cider, passing it over to Lorcan. "I answered your question. Now I get to ask one of my own. Why do you call me Little Red?"
Lorcan looked slightly uncomfortable. "Because you're Hugo's little cousin and you have red hair."
"But that's not it!" Lily exclaimed. "You were friends with me before you were friends with Hugo and you've been calling me Little Red for as long as I can remember!"
"Hey, if you can give a vague answer so can I! Who's the cocky one now?" Lorcan winked at Lily who made a point of gagging in disgust.
"Believe me, Lorc, that was always you." His eyes seemed to soften. "What?"
"Nothing. Look, you have your secrets and I've got mine, and whenever you feel like sharing yours, I'll be sure that I'm ready to share mine." Lorcan smiled at her crookedly. It wasn't a fake smile, or a cocky smile, it was just Lorcan's smile. Lily's eyes smiled back, though she made sure that her lips didn't follow. "You just wanna talk? I've gotta feeling that they're not going to stop partying for a while and we do need to feel comfortable with each other if we're going to be living together."
"Lorcan, I've never seen you stay in the same place for more than a month. You travel, that's what you do. You've always been like the sea; playful and adventurous. Never staying in the same place. So, why do we need to get comfortable with each other if you're just going to leave again."
Lorcan looked at Lily seriously. "I'm not leaving. I know this may be hard to believe, you know, given how amazing I am, but the research team that I was traveling with didn't. I've been transferred to a unit in Britain, traveling around to find rouge animals and give them safe homes. I'm staying."
Lily studied his eyes, noting the gold and green flecks in his eyes. Lily nodded slowly. "Okay."
He grinned. "Awesome. So, you wanna tell me how your day was?"
"Oh, it was great," Lily said sarcastically. "It started with this man-whore waking me up because I had a nightmare. And then, because of said guy, I was late to work. Oh, and at work, two of the Quidditch guys were hitting on me, and I'm pretty sure that one of the girls smacked my butt as I was leaving. And if that wasn't bad enough, when I came home, hoping to relax in a hot shower, I discover that there's a party going on because, surprise surprise, my cousin is moving in with the man-whore's brother, and said man-whore is moving in with me. How was your day, Lorcan?"
He smirked. "Well, it was great. I'm moving in with this really awesome girl that I've been trying to get with since fifth year and she just told me that she wants a hot shower." Lorcan leaned forward and Lily froze, not even daring to breathe. "Well, honey, I can assure you that you would have a hot shower if I'm in it."
Lily pushed Lorcan away. "Okay, you can get out of my room now."
"First of all, there's a party going on and it's probably going to continue until the early morning, and your room has a silencing charm on it. I don't know how to perform a silencing charm as strong as yours." Lily's heart sped up. He couldn't stay in her room. "Second of all, you have nightmares."
"So?" Lily shot back. "I can handle them. And it's not like you can do anything about them."
"It doesn't matter, I want to be here for you, Lily. And even if I can't stop the nightmares, I can help you when you wake up from them. And you're not handling them. You're always exhausted and maybe I can be the one to make your chamomile tea."
"Lorcan, I think that having you in my room while I sleep would make my nightmares worse."
Lorcan tapped his fingers against the carpeted floor, the only sign that he was worried. "Will you lift the silencing charm?" Lily nodded, though she knew that she wouldn't actually remove it. She didn't need Lorcan's help. "You're not actually going to remove it, are you?" Lily just pursed her lips. "Look, you won't even know that I'm here!"
"Fine. Just for tonight."
Lily had changed and was lying on the bed. Lorcan was lying on the floor next to her, a borrowed blanket haphazardly thrown over him. Lily closed her eyes, trying to relax. She must've drifted off to sleep at some point, because the next thing she knew was Lorcan shaking her awake. He gave a tired smile as she shot up, her blankets tangled around her waist. She quickly pulled them up to cover her shoulders.
"I feel like this is becoming a normal routine for us," Lorcan said, leaning back on her bed. "Are you okay?"
Lily swallowed hard. "Yeah."
"I don't understand how you can have these nightmares. You took a dreamless sleep potion."
"They don't really work on me," Lily said shakily. Lorcan pulled himself up to the head of the bed to sit beside her.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"No." Lily lifted a hand to wipe her tears. Because it had been seven years, it shouldn't still affect her this much. Lorcan grabbed her hand and pulled her against him. She was too tired to fight, and honestly, cuddling with Lorcan wasn't so scary. She didn't feel trapped or pinned down. She knew that he just wanted to help.
It was funny how easily someone could sleep if they felt safe. Lily's nightmares seemed to disappear, leaving her with a dreamless sleep.
When she woke up the next morning, there was no one in the bed next to her. She reached out a hand and traced the imprint that Lorcan had left in her bed. It was still warm so she concluded that he had just gotten out of bed. The second observation that she made was that she hadn't woken up more than once the previous night. She had slept after Lorcan had wrapped her in his arms.
She stretched and slowly got out of bed, still rubbing her eyes. She clumsily made her way to the kitchen, taking in the smell of cooking food. "What the hell are you doing, Lorcan?"
Lorcan turned away from the oven, a spatula in his hand. He wasn't wearing a shirt, only an apron to cover his chest, which Lily thought was quite the fashion statement, especially with that large maniac grin that accompanied his outfit. "I'm making breakfast! Well, first I cleaned up- my lazy brother and your cousin didn't clean up- but then I figured that I'd give a try at cooking!" He proudly held up the pan and flipped a pancake onto an awaiting plate. He looked so ridiculously pleased with himself that Lily had to laugh. Lorcan pouted. "What?"
"Nothing." Lily's smile faded and she twisted the hem of her sleep-shirt nervously. "Um, I just wanted to thank you for last night. You know, for helping me sleep. I haven't slept that well in ages." Lorcan handed her a cup of chamomile tea with a small smile. "Thank you."
"Look, I'd be happy to sleep with you any time." Lorcan wriggled his eyebrows suggestively. "But seriously, I want to help you. I understand if you don't want to tell me what the nightmares are about, but will you at least help me prevent them?" His puppy-dog eyes pleaded with her.
She nodded slowly, leaning against the counter. "I would like to be able to sleep."
Lorcan clapped once, as if all of his problems were solved. "Wonderful! Then will you join me for breakfast, Miss Potter?" He pulled out a chair with an over exaggerated bow. Lily noted the set table and the small vase of hydrangea flowers. Lily curtsied and took a seat. Lorcan gave her a plate full of pancakes and offered her the maple syrup, which she gratefully took.
Local put a heaping amount of butter on his his pancakes before drowning them in maple syrup. "Are you sure you have enough pancakes with your maple syrup?" Lily teased.
Lorcan looked up at her from stuffing his mouth. "I like syrup." He shrugged.
Lily took a small bite of pancake and nearly choked. "Of course you need that much syrup, these pancakes have more salt in them than in the Dead Sea!"
Lorcan flicked a bit of syrup at her. "I never said that I was a good cook."
Lily smiled. "I can't cook either. Next time, let's go out to a restaurant."
"Like a date?"
"No," Lily said, shaking her head playfully. "Like two people who are sleeping together do." Lily winked at him. Lily wiped off her hands and started back to her room to get changed.
"So we'll do dinner tonight?" Lorcan asked. Lily could hear a hint of doubt in his voice and she smiled slightly. It was funny, she had never felt this confident since that day when she was fifteen.
Lily turned back to stare at Lorcan's hopeful place. "I'm off work at seven. We have to edit the story on the Appleby Arrows by then or the Daily Prophet won't cover it."
"So, dinner at eight?"
Lily nodded. "Sure."
Lily was tired when she got back to the apartment. Her editor had ripped her article apart and she had to work overtime to try and get it back together.
Lily groaned and threw her keys at the counter. "You could've warned me that you'd be back late," Lorcan said, though he didn't sound angry. Lorcan was in a suit and his hair wasn't messy for once.
"I'm sorry, Lorc. My editor hated the article I presented so I had to rewrite it. I didn't even know the time until I got out, so it wasn't like I was purposely avoiding you."
"It's okay," Lorcan insisted, taking her hand gently. "I ordered take-away. It should be here in a few moments."
"From a muggle restaurant?" Lily asked, looking at him through her eyelashes.
Lorcan swallowed hard before grinning his normal, mischievous grin. "Of course, your favorite. That muggle Italian restaurant that you like. That's why it's taking so damn long to get here."
"It's a good thing too. I need to shower and I want to change into pajamas. So please," Lily complained, tugging her hand out of Lorcan's, "can you change into something that's not..." Lily gestured to his suit. "So uncomfortable?"
Lorcan grinned. "If you wanted me to get my clothes off, all you had to do was ask." Lily blushed and felt her stomach protest with anxiety. She was still scared of men and that subject, but she was starting to understand why ladies- and some men- found Lorcan attractive.
"Lorc, seriously."
Lorcan held up his hands in a gesture of surrender. "Okay, Little Red. I'll go change into my night clothes."
"Thank you."
As Lily was showering, she closed her eyes, remembering a shower she had long ago, trying to wash the dirty off of her. She had turned it up to the hottest temperature and scrubbed herself for more than an hour, all the while crying. That was where her mother had found her, crying on the shower floor.
Lily washed out her red hair and tried to forget that night, focussing on the shower that was rubbing away her awful day at work. Lily wrapped herself in her towel and peeked into her bedroom to make sure that there was no Lorcan prowling around. That had happened once before and Lily had to throw shoes at him until he retreated, laughing the whole way.
Lily was starting to remember why she disliked Lorcan so much in the first place.
When she went back into the kitchen dressing in a Holyhead Harpies jersey that clashed horridly with her hair and a pair of sweatpants, there was a takeout tray set up casually on the table next to the couch. Lorcan was sitting, his ankles crossed, his back resting against the couch. Lily blushed when she saw that he was shirtless, dressed in only a pair of sweatpants.
Lily tried for a teasing tone. "What, Mr. Scamander's too good to sit on the couch?"
Lorcan looked up at her and patted the space next to him. "The food finally got here! I waited for you to start eating, though, like the good little boy I am."
"I'm pretty sure that you've never been a good little boy, Lorcan Scamander." Lily sat cross-legged next to him. She took in the view of the many takeout containers and shook her head. "How much did you order? Who were you expecting to come, an army?"
"No," Lorcan said, his eyes wide with fake innocence. "Believe me, we'll eat all of the food. Um, this is your pasta with that creamy sauce that you like, and this one is a fried vegetable rice, and here's a Caesar salad, and here's some type of shrimp, and this is the fancy chicken dish that I always get, so none of that for you, and I also got some bread and a bunch of different spreads. Oh, and I got carrot soup. You know, to match your hair."
Lily opened the contained and strung the spaghetti around her fork. "What, no dessert?"
Lorcan grinned. "I figured that we'd have a separate date for dessert."
"This isn't a date, Lorcan."
"I know, Little Red, but I like that we're friends now." He looked up from his meal, his eyebrows creased. "We are friends now, right?"
Lily threw her head back with a laugh. "Lorcan. I need you to sleep. I think that we qualify as friends."
He gave a relieved smile. "Good. I was worried for a minute." Lily flung a piece of her spaghetti at him, letting it land on his bare chest. He looked down slowly. "Oh, I'll get you for that, Red!" Lily shrieked and tried to slide away from him, but his arms were longer and he quickly poured the whole tin of carrot soup on her. He gave a naughty grin and dragged a finger through the soup that coated her face and put it in his mouth. "Ah, delicious."
Lily narrowed her eyes. She was brought up with eleven other cousins and numerous amounts of extended family, so she was no stranger to challenges. And she wasn't known for backing down from one. Lily grabbed the olive paste, knowing Lorcan's hatred of the vegetable, and took a glob of it in her hands. She slowly advanced toward Lorcan and rubbed it over his face, making sure to get some into his mouth. He sputtered and Lily giggled, backing away in delight.
But then he caught her with a chicken to the head. And the food fight continued until neither of them had any food left. They were both breathless with laughter, though Lily tried to complain. "I just took a shower. But I totally won." And they collapsed into a fit of giggles all over again.
"I did say we would use the food."
"No," Lily reminded, squeezing soup out of her hair. "You said we would eat the food. And you were wrong."
"Don't look so pleased." Lorcan had changed quickly and was using his wand to clean up the food while Lily tried to tidy herself up. She siphoned off as much as she could with her wand before hopping back into the shower to try and get the food out of her hair. She gave a closed-mouth grin (to avoid getting soap in her mouth) as she thought back to the food fight she'd just had.
She quickly dried off and threw her hair back into a messy bun. She grabbed her pajama shorts and tank top and slipped them on, walking back into her room. Lorcan was waiting on the bed, looking at the pictures that coated her walls.
Her room was small and cozy. There was one window that looked into her next door neighbor's bathroom, so she never removed the white, silky curtains. She learned that the hard way when her hairy, fat, old neighbor waved as he was bathing. Lily shuddered at the memory.
The pictures that coated her wall were of Lily and her immediate family and extended family, both random photos of her cousins and pictures taken at reunions, as well as pictures of herself and her best friends, Zinnie and Dom. Lorcan was touching a picture of himself and Lily taken when they were babies. Their arms were around each other and Lily was planting a kiss on Lorcan's cheek and he was trying to pull away, but he was laughing, so it was clear that he didn't actually care.
"I forgot about that picture," Lily said quietly. Lorcan jumped at her voice and turned around. He offered her a smile and pulled back the covers on her bed, silently climbing under them. Lily climbed in after him. "Are you okay?"
He nodded. "Yeah." Lorcan wrapped an arm around Lily. "Do you ever think about Hogwarts?"
Lily shrugged her shoulders against Lorcan's chest. "Sometimes. Why?"
"I was just thinking about how different I am." Lorcan shifted so that Lily's head was settled in the crook of his neck and her fingers splayed against his hip. "How different we all are. When I was in at Hogwarts I was literally trying to sleep with as many girls as I could." Lily's stomach clenched uncomfortably and she started to shift away from him, but he clutched her to him. "Lily, no. I'm just saying how much we've all changed. Would you have ever thought that we would be here?"
Lily looked up at him. "Nah. But then I never thought that a lot of things would happen. Life has a way of surprising you."
"In a good way or a bad way?"
Lily thought about that night on August 13, 2023. Then she thought about Lorcan, who had become a surprisingly good friend to her. "Both," Lily responded, curling away from Lorcan. "Goodnight, Lorc."
"Night, Little Red."
Lily woke up, breathing heavily. She looked next to her, searching for some sort of warmth. "Lorcan!" she called out in panic. "Lorcan!"
Her breathing sped up again and she started thrashing in the covers. Another person had left her because of her past, her pain, her fear. She started crying, falling to the floor next to her bed. Her hands were fisted in the fallen covers and she was sobbing into them.
"Lily?!" Lorcan's voice was tight with panic. He gathered her in his arms. He slowly rocked her until she calmed down, but her stomach wouldn't stop twisting. He was murmuring something that she couldn't quite hear into her hair and she slowly turned out of his grip.
"I'm sorry," Lily sniffled, her voice hoarse. "I thought that you'd gone."
Her hands shook and Lorcan quickly took them in both of his own. "Why would you think that?"
She swallowed. "You weren't in bed when I got up this morning, and people usually leave me, so I thought that you had gone."
Lorcan took Lily's chin in his hand and forced her to look into his eyes. "I'm not going to leave you, Little Red. Never."
Lily sniffed. "You were gone..."
"I had a business meeting at the fireplace. I work as a Dragonologist as someone who helps register and keep track of all dragons in the wizarding world so that they don't interfere with muggles and such, and someone called me about an escaped dragon in America."
Lily rubbed her eyes. "I'm sorry. It's like I've been taking crazy pills." Lorcan gave half a grin and picked Lily up, putting her back into the bed. He crawled in and pressed his back behind her, and she reveled in the warmth. His arm came around her and she cuddled closer to him.
"I'm here, Lily," Lorcan muttered into her hair.
"Thank you."
When Lily woke up the next morning, she quickly got out of bed to try and get to work before Lorcan woke up. She was beyond embarrassed about her breakdown last night and she didn't want to have to face him.
Lorcan turned in his sleep, slapping his hand against the pillow. She froze, quietly inching towards her door. When she finally closed the door behind her, she gave a small sigh of relief. She grabbed a small handful of Floo powder and whispered the address to a coffee shop near her journalism press.
Dahlia, her favorite server, was bustling behind the counter. Her chins jiggled as her face pushed back into a huge smile. "Lily!" Her voice was rough with age, but her eyes were bright with life. "How's my favorite customer?"
"In need of a tea," Lily responded tiredly.
Dahlia nodded wisely, flicking her wand and making her a chamomile tea with a dash of caffeine in the form of green tea. Her usual order. "Would you like a pastry? I made them fresh this morning." She held out a croissant with a chocolate drizzle on top.
"That looks delicious, Dahlia, but I think that I just need a to-go cup of tea."
"You need to eat, love," she said in her thick Scottish drawl. "You're getting thinner by the minute."
Lily smiled. "Fine, I'll take the tea and croissant to go."
Dahlia deftly wrapped up her order and went over to the register. "That'll be two sickles and a knut." Lily reached into her bag to find the money. "You look less tired than normal, has something happened?"
Lily blushed as she shook her head, offering over the coins. "I guess my potions just started working."
Dahlia looked suspicious but she let Lily go to work without much of a fuss. Lily checked the time and apparated over to her office. She was working on a new article about the benefits of broom polish. She wasn't quite so into the topic, but she was still on probation since she was a new worker, so she had to do whatever they gave her.
She took a bite of her croissant and sighed. "Well," she muttered to herself, "the sooner you start the sooner you'll be done."
Lily had finished earlier than expected, though considering it was an ad for broom polish, it may not have been that large of a surprise. She felt bad for flipping out on Lorcan and then leaving him alone in the morning, so she decided to start their dessert date.
"Lorcan!" she hollered, her arms weighed down with bags. "Get your lazy arse over here and help me with the bags." Silence. She let out an exasperated sigh. "I've brought the materials to make ice cream sundaes."
Lorcan was out, quick as a flash, his hair still wet from whatever he was doing. "Ice cream?"
"Sundaes," she added. "A little help?" Lorcan gently lifted the bags off of her and started unpacking them, while Lily gathered the bowls. "I got chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry ice creams, since I figured the toppings would add most of the flavors."
Lorcan shook his head with amusement. "You don't have to explain anything to me. You got ice cream. All we need to do is eat it."
Lily nodded with a small laugh. "Fine." Lily handed Lorcan a bowl with a mock curtsy. "Monsieur."
Lorcan gave a clumsy bow. "Madame." They stared at each other for a brief moment before all hell broke loose. Lily lunged for the strawberry ice cream and Lorcan wrinkled his nose in disgust, scooping himself some chocolate ice cream. "You like strawberry ice cream? I think that's actually worse than liking vanilla."
Lily stuck her tongue out at him for lack of anything better to do. Lorcan smiled and spooned some chocolate ice cream onto her tongue. His laugh was thick and real, so even as she sputtered, she couldn't help but giggle with him. "Dude, I like chocolate ice cream. I just prefer strawberry when I'm making an ice cream sundae. Too much chocolate otherwise."
Lorcan put the hand that wasn't suffocating his chocolate ice cream with chocolate sauce to his heart in a gesture of mock hurt. "Lily, there is never such a thing as too much chocolate." Lily grinned, taking the chocolate sauce from Lorcan's had. She drizzled it over her strawberry ice cream before dumping the whole container of rainbow sprinkles on top. Lorcan protested. "What if I wanted some of those?"
Lily looked up at him through her eyelashes. "Then you should've taken."
"You didn't exactly give me the chance," Lorcan humphed. Lily rolled her eyes before swiping the whipped cream and squirting it on top of her sundae.
"Perfect," she sighed happily.
"There's no cherry on top," he noted, sticking a spoon in his own sundae, which consisted of chocolate, chocolate, and more chocolate.
"Yours has a chocolate covered strawberry on top," she pointed out. "I don't think that counts."
He shrugged. "It's a fruit. That's healthier than yours."
"My whole ice cream is a fruit!"
Lorcan stuck a spoon in her ice cream for her and led her over to the table. Her breath hitched slightly when he sat so that their thighs and arms were touching. She was almost afraid to eat her sundae in case moving would make him move.
Those nerves didn't seem to bother Lorcan, though. He leaned back on the bench and took a huge bite of his ice cream. He sighed happily. Lily took a tentative bite of her sundae, which was fresh in her mouth. Lorcan was watching her eat, his eyes focused on her mouth. She squirmed, slightly uncomfortable, though not nearly as nervous as she normally was. Maybe sleeping with him was helping, she thought in amusement.
Lorcan cleared his throat, a nervous tick that she'd noticed of his, and held out a spoonful of his sundae. "Wanna try?" He didn't give her a chance to respond before shoving the spoon into her mouth.
She gave a muffled yelp and let the sweetness coat her mouth. While swallowing, she shoved a spoonful of her own sundae into his mouth. He screwed up his face as he took in the strawberry flavor. "Mine is better," he told Lily in a low, matter-of-fact voice.
Lily nodded, not really knowing what she was nodding at. His face was extremely close to hers, and she counted all of the green and gold flecks in his blue eyes. "Lily," he breathed, his eyes on her lips. She hummed. "You have something on your lips." And then his lips were on hers and she was kissing him back. She hadn't kissed anyone since she was fifteen and she'd forgotten how it felt.
His lips were soft and warm, and his tongue was light on hers. He was kissing her softly, and she was kissing him back just as carefully, as though she didn't want to remind him of who he was kissing: an inexperienced, scared girl.
He drew back far too quickly for her liking and she wondered if he had kissed her by mistake and quickly began to panic when she felt the pads of his fingers touch her cheeks. "You're crying," he murmured, kissing the tears off of her cheeks.
"I'm sorry." She gripped his arms as he continued to wipe the tears off of her face.
"No, I'm sorry." He looked sheepish. "I shouldn't have kissed you. A gentleman always asks his woman out on a date first."
Lily laughed. "No, I liked the kiss. And you've asked me out on numerous occasions. I just don't understand..."
"What?" Lorcan asked. He had moved them so that he was gripping both of her hands and they were facing each other. "Lily, I like you," he said earnestly. "I have since fifth year, I just didn't know what that meant back then. But will you give me a chance? I know that I'm not perfect, and that you haven't shown any particular interest in me, but please, Lils. Maybe I'll turn out to be worth it, because you sure are."
Lily gave a watery grin, her eyes closed, her head shaking. "I'm not perfect, Lorc. I have issues, and I'll never fully be able to give myself to you." His brow wrinkled in confusion. "I can't have sex with you, Lorc," she explained, her stomach clenching with anxiety at the thought.
"I don't need you to have sex with me."
Lily smiled sadly. "You will."
Lorcan shook his head. "Nah. I've sworn off sexual intercourse" -he winked- "until marriage."
Lily shook her head with a small groan, pulling her hands out of his. He wasn't getting what she was telling him. "I might never be able to do that with you, Lorc."
"I don't care," he said fiercely.
"You're not going to ask why?"
Local gently took her hand again. "When you're ready to tell me, you'll let me know."
Lily nodded seriously. "I like you too," she finally responded, in the most quiet voice that she could muster. "I don't know why. You're arrogant and annoying and wasteful, but I like you. So I'll give this a try." Lorcan leaned in for a kiss, his eyes sparkling with joy despite that fact that his girlfriend- Lily shuddered with delight and nerves at the thought- had just gave him a list of insults. She put her hands on his chest and said, "But don't say I didn't warn you."
He rolled his eyes and offered her a kiss.
Lily was lying next to Lorcan on the bed. She expected to feel different now that they were dating, but she didn't feel any more anxious than before. She wanted to tell Lorcan everything, but she wasn't sure she had the nerve.
She felt him reach over and take her hand. He'd been great, and they hadn't done more than kiss and few times, and mostly huddle, which she'd been more comfortable with.
She let out a breath, sitting up. "When I was fifteen," she began, her voice trembling. She cleared her throat, starting again. "When I was fifteen, I was raped." Lorcan tensed beside her, clambering into a sitting position, his jaw working. "Please don't say anything, I need to say this." He stayed tense, but didn't move to speak. "It was over the summer holidays and I was walking by myself down Diagon Alley. I had gone to get my school books, and I didn't think that I would need any supervision. I had wanted to be alone. I had been with the entire Wotter clan for the whole summer, so I just wanted some peace and quiet."
Lily took a shaky breath. "I guess I was walking too close to Knockturn Alley. This strange man came up to me and started leering at me. I still remember him talking about getting his revenge on Potter, my dad. He was an ex-Death Eater that had escaped trial." Lily was crying now. "He called me names that I didn't understand when I was fifteen. He said stuff that I didn't understand. But he was scaring me, so I started running.
"I didn't even have my wand on me. I was underage, so why would I? He put me in a body bind curse, and when I tried to scream for help, he silenced me." She sniffled. "He... touched me in places and then he took me to this sleazy motel in Knockturn Alley. He dragged me though the front door, not even bothering to hide that he was about to rape a girl."
Lily's voice rose in disgust. "I thought that someone would stop him. That good would prevail as my parents always said it would. But the people at the motel just laughed, congratulating the man on the capture of the 'Potter's little bitch.' The men in the room came up to me and started rubbing up on me and the women came and played with my hair.
"I felt so violated. And then the man took me upstairs and raped me. He saw me crying and he laughed, just trying to hurt me even more. It felt like it lasted forever, and when he had had his fun, he just put me out on the street, pushing me to go tell my dad about what he had done to me and who had done it."
Lily's eyes were running with vigor now. She couldn't stop sobbing, but she was determined to finish her story. "I was hurting everywhere. I was sore and violated and I was disgusted with myself. How could I let that happen to myself?"
"It wasn't your fault, Lily." Lorcan's voice was low and choked up. She turned to look at him to see his eyes red with tears. His hands were clenched into fists and his jaw was rigid. She didn't want him to hate her, but she couldn't stop now.
"I know that now. But at the time... My mom found me in the shower, sobbing, my skin rubbed red. She helped clean me up and we had to be enrolled in family therapy. Only my parents knew about my rape, since if it got to the press, it would go viral crazy fast. Harry Potter's daughter, the man who defeated the Dark Lord even though he was part of the weaker, smaller army, unable to defend herself against an ancient old man." Lily laughed bitterly. "The therapist was an old family friend, so she wouldn't say anything. And when the great Harry Potter found and subjected an old Death Eater to death, it was just another day in the wizarding world. Rodulphus Lestrange was never heard from again."
Lily finished, her hands neatly folded in her lap. She couldn't look at Lorcan. But there was no need to. He pulled her in his arms, and buried his face in her hair. "You don't hate me?" she asked in a muffled voice.
"Of course not! Merlin, Lily, you're the bravest person I know. You overcame all that and still stand here today, trusting a man. I'm so proud of you." Lily smiled into Lorcan's shirt, which was now wet with her tears. "I'm just glad that the Death Eater rapist is dead, otherwise I would go out and kill the fucking bitch."
Lily snuggled deeper into his shirt. "Little Red," Lorcan said suddenly. "I call you Little Red because when we were younger, you always seemed so fragile and your hair is bright red. So I called you 'little' to remind myself that I would always be there to protect you." He paused, and Lily felt like her heart would explode. "And I wasn't there to protect you when you needed me most." He broke down and started sobbing, loud, hiccuping cries that shook her to her core. She shifted their positions so that Lorcan's head was on her chest and she fisted her hand in his hair, tears leaking from her own face.
"It's okay," she whispered. She muttered words of comfort to him and he finally calmed.
"I should be the one comforting you," he said in a shaky voice. "Not the other way around. God, I've probably lost all of my manly status."
Lily shook her head. "Not at all. I love you, Lorcan Scamander. And maybe together we can learn what it means to be in a healthy relationship. Maybe one day we can learn to heal the rips of our past. Maybe I can learn to have dreams instead of nightmares. But right now, I'm grateful for you." Lily kissed Lorcan's forehead, pushing the hair out of his eyes.
"I love you too, Lily Potter. And I promise, one day we'll be the dream." They curled into each others arms, sleeping in the way two people who are fighting do.
And each of them dreamed of their future together.
AN: So, I know that I should be updating my other stories, and I'm working on those too, but I had this idea for a Lorcan and Lily romance, so I quickly jotted it down and voila!
Okay, I'll go back to finishing my other stories now. Lots of Love!