Hello, I haven't written ff in ages! But here's an attempt anyway! This is just the prologue- I know roughly were I'm going with it

Reviews are always good

Nikki's POV

Prologue

I've tried in every way to stay away from you but I can't. I need to save you- to tell you who you've become because no-one else is, no-one else will. She's drowning you, day by day I see the light leaving your eyes, the laughter lines that used to shape your eyes are fading and, well you're just not you anymore.

I remember you from before, when we used to laugh and how every single person in a room would be watching you- either wanting you or wanting to be you- but now, you're still looked at, but viewed through confused and sometimes even angry eyes. The rose tinted glasses have been replaced by the sad reality that you just aren't you anymore- you're a shadow of your former self. That's why they call you Casper, because you're a ghost; a shell, where, once there promised to be a great man. A man who everyone respected yet adored, a man that could make a whole room laugh and yet moments later is taken seriously by the same audience. A man I once believed I could love, but now, even I, who had the thickest rose tinted specs of all, couldn't imagine loving.

But you see, in my head, you will always be as magnificent as you once were, and for that I'm glad we don't speak because then I can pretend, pretend you haven't changed, and all the reports, that grow in number day by day, are wrong. Because then, just maybe, one day, if you chose to fill that shell again, I can simply slip back into the content lull that you are back, and that you never really changed.

But soon, I will stop caring, I will truly move on, and nobody will be here to save you. You will have to save yourself, and she won't let you.

And I know this seems ridiculous; and I wouldn't be saying it if I had seen you smile in the cheesy way you used to- just send me one smile- just once, and I'll leave you be. So next time you see me, just smile, just so I know you're OK and if you are, then great. But if you're not, for God's sake just be you, you get one life- it's too short anyway. I get that you love her, I do, but can you spend your whole life suppressed? Because then, you'll just fall out of love with the most important person of all- yourself. A love that once lost is a battle to regain.

But yes, just smile if you are well and genuinely happy- because then I can relax in the knowledge you are OK, because you were my best friend, and I understand how you felt about me now. I'm just sorry I couldn't feel the same. I'm sorry my feelings, mainly imagined by my over analytical mind, ruined our friendship.

But that's in the past. I just, for my own sanity, have to know you're happy in the present,

So yeah, know it seems a bit ambiguous but it will all be explained! Thanks for reading! G x