Brewdening Love Commentary

Author's Note: For this snark, I will personally comment what is bad about this badfic. It's offensive to every Christian everywhere and makes non-Christians want to convert to the Mormon faith. Beware, there is misspellings and unfortunate implications throughout. I will also have a snarking buddy.

Chapter 1: Genesis

Erin: ok hello everyone I want to let you knwo that I'm the BIGGEST Twilight ever! (I personally don't like Twilight.) I've read all the boks and seen da movie -OMFG isn't Cullin HAWT. So hot. (I don't think he's attractive.) ok now iv writon a storie about wut wold happen id I were bella1 Because shes a dirte bithc (From what I know so far, she's not.) so i want you to see it and tel moi what you think! So LOTS OF REVOWS PLZ! lov you God xoxoxoxo

I hud to put my storie up hear becose the meenies at deleated it but I am glad the Jew and the Bird are gone and aint flaming me anymore (What a anti-Semitic suethor...)

I walked into the room and HE waz siting over by the coner of my english class, prefectly sitting by the corner in a desk. I thought he was a god (Erin: not god God (Are you implying that Edward is a god?) because I luv god and thats blamsphemi, so fuc off sinars) becoz he looked so darmn hot, like that guy who used to be on Smalvile befor he got fat (All you care about is looks.) so now I watch supernatural becoz fat man is always in my head now.

I giglied when he lookd at mwah (Seriously? I don't think you spelt 'me' right.) and Edwards looked away seeming to snarlingly. I flacked my long brown hare (Your hair is a rabbit?) hoppping to git his atention. I hav long brown hair that reatches my btomm, in a smooth long thing with a hairclip and such. I have hotr eyeliner with lots of blue mascara becoz it goes with moi eyes you see becoz they are blu. and i'm wearing a loose wite blows with a cute leather belt and a long black skirt (Stop with the costume porn.) becoz its sexy but not whory and its a sin to be a whor tunles ur Mary Magdalin, but shes daed anyway. (Mary is not a whore.)

Edward looked back to me and loked away agin. It was rood and I farroed my brow confusedly at hymn, but decided but hes sex-ah (If he looks away from you, it means he doesn't like you.) so Ill let him get away with it (The Lord teeches us to forgave). (The Lord also teaches us to use the correct tense when we write fanfics.)

I walked over, with evry eye on the room on me because Im so darmn H-O-T (This shows how much of a Mary Sue you really are.) (I've been told this mnay times so I know it is true( and i sit on his desk and he looks up and has bronze eyes that are sexy in a brewding way (erin: FORSHADOWING! He is brewdy but if you havnt reed the boks you'd already no that!) (You know you're a good author when you literally have to put a sign that says 'FORESHADOWING')

He looks up to me and I look dwn to him loking up to me. He then speaks, in a quiet brewding voice. (The correct spelling is brooding. Learn how to spell, suethor.)

"Who are you?" he aks and why are you on my desk? (He wants to know why you are on his desk.)

So i winks at him and tell him he's cute, but then class starts and i sit down and watch him. (I don't believe that you truly love him.)

He is so hot and I dcide want to be his boyfriend. He looks at me and turns away agin. (It's official. She's a transvestite.)

So yeeeeeeeah thats my storie tell me what you hink with your revieows! so glad to have writing it i'm happi ass now! (I'm laughing hysterically.) GOD LOVES YOU ALL! XOXOXOXOXO! :3

This fanfic is atrocious. But, there will be more lulz this time around.