Title: Larry is Nosy (or How Eureka Found Out About Jo & Zane)
Summary: Larry is nosy. He finds out Zane has a secret girlfriend. Larry obsessively watches Zane. Jo threatens Larry.
Author's Note: I probably should look over this again or have someone look over it but I can't bring myself to care.
Larry had been knocking on Zane's door for what felt like five minutes before the man in question appeared. Larry was somewhat taken aback by Zane's state. The man's pants were barely on, his hair was a mess, and there was a hickey on his shoulder.
"I thought you weren't having one night stands anymore," Larry blurted out.
"What?" Zane asked, still half asleep and confused. "What do you want?"
"Dr. Parrish needs you at GD. Now," Larry said, trying not to peer into Zane's apartment. All he could see was a pair of shoes with a silver spike heel.
"I'll be there. Now go away."
Zane slammed the door shut in his face. Well, that was interesting. Usually Zane was more than willing to tell anyone about his bed partners. Maybe whatever he'd had with Zoe Carter had taught him that discretion really was a good thing.
Larry watched avidly for the next week to see who had shoes like that and who Zane was showing an interest in. So far he had nothing.
At the end of week one he asked Vincent who it might be but he didn't have any ideas either. In fact, Vincent was downright surprised that Zane was seeing anyone at all. After that the rumor of Zane's "secret girlfriend" spread like wildfire.
Many of the single women at GD seemed upset by the news though not as many as Larry would have thought. Some seemed almost amused by the concept of Zane having a girlfriend. Sherriff Carter had outright laughed when asked his opinion on the matter.
Larry couldn't figure out who it was for the life of him. Zane wasn't fessing up to it despite the countless people asking him and neither were any women. And Larry couldn't find anyone who had those shoes. It was possible that the women could have been from out of town, but Larry doubted it. Zane had never gone trolling outside of town for women before.
By the end of week three Larry had all but given up. He wasn't watching as avidly as before, more in passing. Zane was apparently still seeing whoever it was, that he knew. There were a few days he came in rumpled or smelling faintly of perfume. Larry eventually figured out that it had to be someone in GD due to the fact that one day he disappeared for lunch and then reappeared looking very rumpled and with a hickey forming that was only slightly hidden by his collar.
Zane didn't seem to mind the people talking about him. He really wasn't giving up any clues. Neither was whoever his girlfriend was, which Larry found strange.
By the end of week four he was ready to give up nearly completely until he noticed something that startled the crap out of him.
He had been walking up the stairs behind Lupo and Director Fargo when he saw Lupo's shoes. He hadn't bothered to watch her because really those two couldn't in a million years have a stable relationship that didn't end up with her killing him.
But she was wearing the shoes. Black with silver spike heels. He let out a startled yelp that caused the other two to glance back at him. "What?" Fargo asked.
"Nothing," Larry squeaked. "Nothing at all."
Larry watched Lupo and Zane obsessively after that point. They had been more cordial to one another lately and she hadn't locked him up or tazed him since Founder's Day, but he had figured it had something to do with Zane breaking up with Zoe after only a couple of weeks of "dating" her. But now they were actually…Well, they were flirting really. The banter, somewhere along the lines, had shifted to being slightly flirty but it seemed like nobody had noticed.
There was smirking, casual touches, Lupo smacking Zane occasionally, more innuendos than usual, and sly glances.
How the hell had Eureka missed this? How had he missed this?
He waited to spring the trap on the two but they were always surrounded by other people. He waited until Zane was alone to pounce.
"You're dating Lupo," he said.
"What?" Zane asked, startled. "Where'd you get that idea?"
"The shoes in your apartment were on Chief of Security Lupo's feet a week ago. The two of you are flirting. You disappear when she does. How long has this been going on?"
"You're insane," Zane said and stormed away.
Larry only took that as confirmation. He was smart enough to not ask Lupo directly because there would be prison cells and tazers involved if he did. Carter, however, wouldn't do any of those things. And he would know if his housemate – because her house was still incomplete – was seeing someone. Actually, he should just ask SARAH or Deputy Andy.
He headed off to Carter's home when he knew that nobody would be there.
"Can I help you, Larry?" SARAH asked. "Sherriff Carter and Jo are not home right now."
"I know, SARAH," Larry said. He swallowed nervously. He was suddenly regretting this. SARAH was most likely going to tell Lupo and then she would taze him. He straightened his shoulders and took a deep breath. "SARAH, has Lupo been seeing anyone?"
SARAH was quiet for a minute. "I believe she has been seeing many people, Larry. She does go out in public."
"No SARAH, I mean is she dating anyone? Like Zane?"
Again the house was silent. "I do not believe that I should be discussing Jo's romantic relationships with you, Larry."
"I'm just curious. And concerned. Zane isn't the most trustworthy of men. You must have seen how upset Zoe was when he broke it off with her."
"Zane is very trustworthy and Zoe was not at all upset."
That was interesting. Zoe had stormed out of Café Diem pissed as hell when Zane had told her that they should just be friends. But SARAH said she hadn't been mad…
"I think you should leave, Larry. I do not believe that Sherriff Carter would like to find you here."
Larry took the hint and left quickly.
He was waiting to corner Zane again when Lupo cornered him.
"Stop it or I'll find a way to get you sent to Antarctica," she scowled at him. "Stop now."
She turned, grabbed Zane as he was passing by, and dragged him off.
Larry leaned back against the wall and tried to calm his heart rate. Well, that was probably confirmation that yes, they were dating. Or at least sleeping together.
It took him exactly four hours to decide what to do. He weighed the pros and cons, decided if all of this was worth spending the rest of his life in Antarctica, and decided that yes, it was. He headed off to Café Diem to tell Vincent but when he walked in the man in question was pressed up against the window with a pair of binoculars. A number of the other patrons were also pressed up against the glass peering out.
"What are you doing?"
"Shh!" Vincent said, batting a hand at Larry. "Jo went into the Sherriff's office and then Zane followed and now I think they're—"
"She's his secret girlfriend," Larry blurted.
"That would make sense considering it looks like they're eating each other's faces," Pilar said. "Though seriously, when did this happen?"
Across the street Zane and Jo pulled apart slightly. "Think we've given them enough of a show?" Jo asked.
"Not at all," Zane said. "Or maybe we should disappear and pretend to use the cot in the cell."
"Not going to happen," Jo said sweetly. "Do you want to risk Café Diem?"
"Not particularly…I've got food at my place."
"They're leaving! They're leaving!" Vincent called out. "…And they're walking away."
With that nearly everyone in the Café leapt towards the windows to watch the couple walk down the street hand in hand – towards where Zane's apartment was located.