TITLE: Wrapped Around My Digital
AUTHOR: Mike Jaffa (originally published on Slipstream Bulletin Board system under MikeJoe)
SYNOPSIS: Beka just does not like the idea of Rommie having Dylan - or anybody - wrapped around her finger
SETTING: S2 after "Be All My Sins Remembered"
DISCLAIMER: I own neither Andromeda nor the music by the Police. Please don't waste time suing me.

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"I will turn your face to alabaster
When you find your servant is your master
And you'll be wrapped around my finger"
-The Police (SOURCE: Beka Valentine Music Library CY 10,182)

Beka almost tripped over Rommie when she tried to ascend the flight control podium. "Rommie!? Is everything all right?"

The beautiful blue-haired android, lounging on the station with her head against a railing, opened her eyes and looked up at Beka. "Oh, everything's fine. I'm just ... well, relaxing, with a little help from Harper."

"What's he doing?"

"A complete systems check and full diagnostic on *all* my systems and subsystems."

"All - EVERYTHING?"

"Uh-huh." A schematic of the *Andromeda Ascendant* appeared on one of the big monitors. "He started here - " A dot appeared in the ship's nose cone. " - in the gunnery nose at 0530, and now he's here." Another dot appeared, amidships.

"He did all that in four hours!?" Beka yelped.

"Mm-Hmm."

"He's killing himself!"

"Hardly. I'm monitoring his vitals; he's ok."

Beka glared down at the android. "And WHAT, exactly, did he do to you to deserve such punishment?"

"Hardly punishment. We made an arrangement." Rommie slowly got to her feet. "When I agreed to go on leave with him a few weeks ago, I did it on condition he do this. In fact, I just wanted to have my slipstream drive tuned up, but I thought I'd have to haggle down to that from something else. But he jumped at the chance; he's actually enjoying himself."

"Well, we'll see about that!" Beka started to leave command.

"You know," Rommie said, "sometimes I'm glad human females don't see Harper for the little sweetheart he really is, because times like this, I don't want to share him."

Beka hesitated in the doorway, then decided she would deal with the dire implications of Rommie using "Harper" and "sweetheart" in the same sentence another time.

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"... Rommie is going to work Harper into an early grave," Beka said, pacing back and forth in Dylan's office. "And he's only all too willing to go along with her. She says 'Jump!' and he's already on the ceiling!"

"I think you're exaggerating," Dylan said.

"Oh, really?"

"One thing I learned a long time ago is not to mess with what works, and Harper and Rommie work well together. They always have. This ship would have been for the trash heap a long time ago if they didn't."

"This isn't 'working well together.' This is 'Rommie has Harper wrapped around her little finger and she knows it'! Trust me. I'm a woman. I know these things."

Dylan relented. "All right, I'll talk to Rommie."

"No, I want you to talk to Harper."

"Excuse me?"

"Harper looks up to you. Hell, I think he wants to *be* you. He listens to you more than he does to me these days; you can help him get his head on straight."

"Oh, all right ... "

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Dylan found Harper in a conduit, glaring at an uncooperative panel. At first glance, Beka seemed to be right. He looked tired.

He also looked like he was having the time of his life.

"Mr. Harper."

"Hey, Boss! You here to help?"

"Actually, I'm here to talk to you about the repairs - "

"Yeah, they're coming along, or will be when I get this thing fixed."

Dylan looked at the panel. "What's the problem?"

"Nothing. That's the problem. Rommie says there's something wrong here, but I've been over it five times, and I can't find anything wrong with it."

"You know, my old engineer ran into the same problem; she said it was a 'pinched nerve:' Rommie felt it here ... "

"But the problem was really somewhere else?"

"Exactly! Andromeda ... ?"

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"Well, Dylan, how did it - " Beka stopped in her tracks only a few paces into the officers' mess, her jaw dropped. Dylan and Harper were hunched over a table, pouring over dozens of flexies, covered from head to toe in grease.

"Hey, Bek!" Harper called out cheerfully.

Dylan winced. "Oh, Hi, Beka, I found Har - "

"ALL RIGHT!" Beka shouted. "That's IT! This repair cycle is concluded as of RIGHT NOW." She pointed at Harper. "YOU. Hit the showers and get some rest."

"Boss - "

"NOW!"

Harper sagged and slouched out of the mess hall.

"As for you ... " Beka growled at Dylan.

"Now wait, wait a minute," Dylan said a little nervously. "I'm the captain of the *Andromeda.* I can't get in Dutch with my *first officer.*"

"Oh, really? Remember that regulation that says you can say whatever you want to a superior officer as long as you preface it with 'with all due respect'?"

"Uh, yes, yes, I remember it well."

"Well, Dylan, with all due respect ... "

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Several decks away in hydroponics, Tyr and Trance stopped working on the heavy bag and turned towards the large hatch, listening; the Nietzschean and the gold-skinned alien had better hearing than the average human.

And good sense, too.

"I think we should steer clear of Beka for a while," Trance said.

"Agreed." Tyr braced himself against the bag, to hold it for Trance. "All right, fifty more ... "

THE END