A/N: Okay, I've thought long and hard about this, but I finally decided to put up some Chanoebe oneshots, based on some cute scenes between them. This story can be compared to my: " I hope you know how much you mean to me", just with a different pairing. First up: TOW Phoebe's dad.
Disclaimer: Do I own Friends? No, of course I don't, silly.
Chandler was sitting in the backseat of Phoebe's cab, Joey next to him, as they were on their way to Phoebe's long lost dad. Chandler stared at his blonde friend for the umpteenth time that evening, wondering how she was holding up. Finally finding out who her dad really was after all these years, must have had an enormous impact on her. He didn't really know all the details of her situation, but he still remembered how depressed he'd been, when his dad left his mom all those years ago. Frankly, if it were up to him, he wouldn't want anything to do with the guy ever again, but here was Phoebe: wonderfully optimistic Phoebe, having a go at getting to know the guy that hadn't been man enough to raise her. He really did admire her in a way.
Just then, his thought process was brought to an abrupt halt, when Phoebe announced: " Ooh, this is it, 74." and slammed down on the brakes, effectively causing him and Joey to bang their heads into the plexiglass wall.
" Oh, so that's what this is for," he commented dryly, when he'd finally recovered somewhat.
" Wow, this is it, I'm gonna meet my dad. This is like the biggest thing ever, huh," his friend proclaimed excitedly.
" Yeah," he had to agree. It was big stuff. He could only imagine what she must feel like.
" Sure is," Joey chimed in, trying to be supportive.
" Okay, here I go. I'm goin' in," the blonde declared, still staring at the house that belonged to the man she'd never really got to know.
" Alright,"
" Good luck, Pheebs," her actor friend encouraged her, silently hoping that she'd get out of the car, so him and Chandler could finally get started on their christmas shopping.
" Okay, here I go. . . here I go. . . I'm goin'," Phoebe brought out with a fixed, nervous smile, while remaining right where she was.
" Pheebs, are you gonna be okay?" Chandler inquired in concern, as he gently placed his hand on her shoulder.
" Yeah, yeah of course, no. I'm getting in there right now, ring the doorbell, you know, do seem dad-meeting," she recomposed herself, as she got up and promptly left the car.
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It was about two hours later that the guys were fast asleep in the backseat, as Phoebe made her gazilionth attempt at reaching the house. She still couldn't pluck up the courage to reach the door however and when she'd reached the mailbox, she quickly turned around and rushed back over to the car.
" Okay!" she announced, once she had safely returned to her seat, causing her two friends to wake up from their little snooze.
" How far'd ya get?" Joey inquired, still feeling a bit drowsy.
" Mailbox," the blonde replied enthusiastically.
" Alright, we're gettin' closer," Chandler declared, trying to encourage her to go on.
" Uh-huh."
" Pheebs, what's goin' on?" his best friend asked worriedly, sensing that Phoebe wasn't exactly eager to continue this mission.
" No, it's just like, ya know, it's a whole mess of stuff, ya know. It's like, yesterday, ya know, my dad was this, like, famous Burma tree surgeon guy and, ya know, now he's a, a pharmacist guy and. . ."
" Well, maybe he's, maybe he's this really cool pharmacist guy," Joey tried, hoping to cheer her up. He really didn't like seeing her in this insecure state. If Phoebe wasn't confident anymore, what would the world come to?
" Yeah, maybe, yeah. You know, and, and I'll knock on the door and, and he'll hug me and I'll have a dad. Ya know and I'll, I'll go to his pharmacy and everyone will be really nice to me 'cause, you know, I'm Franks daughter," the masseuse began optimistically, bringing a smile to both of the guy's faces.
" Well, so why not go knock?" Chandler inquired softly, trying to urge her to take her chance and get to know her dad. After all, she did have a right to know him.
" Well, 'cause, I mean, what if, what if he's not this great dad guy? I mean, what if, what if he's just still the dirtbag who ran out on my mom and us? You know what? I've already lost a fake dad this week and I… I just don't think I'm ready to lose a real one," Phoebe explained dejectedly, a hint of a tear now shining in her eye.
The boys then threw each other a quick glance, before Joey stepped up in trying to comfort one of the most important people in his life.
" Pheebs, that's okay. You took a big step today."
" Yeah?" she asked unsurely.
" Yeah, and someday when you're ready, you'll make it past the hedges," Chandler added. He wanted to get all reassuring and make her feel good, but he knew how he wasn't that good in it sometimes, cracking awkward jokes instead, so he'd just settled for stating what he'd just said. Then however, he decided to try something different to comfort her, as he gently took her soft hand in both of his. He was actually kinda bummed that Joey had already covered her hand for the most part, as he secretly very much enjoyed holding hands with her. ' God, her fingers are so warm, how can they be like this when she's just been out in the cold?' he found himself thinking, as all the while, the kind smile that graced his lips got even broader.
" Yeah, and when you do, he'll be lucky to have you."
" You guys. I'm sorry about your shopping," Phoebe stated genuinely.
" Oh, that's okay, we'll figure something out," Chandler reassured, not wanting her to feel even worse, because they didn't get their presents. After all: it wasn't her fault that him and Joey had been too lazy to go gift-hunting earlier.
For a while the three friends just sat there, in a comfortable silence, until Joey suddenly asked rather abruptly: Uh, listen Pheebs, I know you're not goin' in there, but do you think it'd be alright if I went in and used his bathroom?"
Upon hearing this, Chandler quickly shot him a disapproving look.
" Fine, fine there are a bunch o' trees out here as well, I'll go number one against one of them."
" Joey, have you looked outside? You'll freeze your ass off," Chandler tried.
" Oh come on, Channy, I really have to go," the actor pleaded, shutting his eyes tightly while wiggling about in his seat.
" Ugh, just get out, man. And for the love of god: can we please stop with the Channy? Despite certain, feeble proof of the opposite, I am actually still not an eight-year old girl."
" Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, dude. Gotta pee, see ya," Joey threw back, before he hopped out of the car, leaving only Phoebe and Chandler.
" Can you believe that guy?" Chandler asked, pointing in the general direction of his friend, while shaking his head.
" Uhm… yeah… no, uhu… what?" came the somewhat disoriented reply.
" Pheebs, it's gonna be alright," he muttered, as he quickly placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.
" Oh, is it?! Is it?!" the blonde bit back, startling her friend tremendously.
Upon seeing his reaction, Phoebe let out a deep sigh, then brought out: " Oh, I'm sorry, Chandler, but this… this whole thing is just so confusing. You know all this time, people have been lying to me, trying to make me believe that my father was this… ideal, flawless man and I… I just came to accept that as the truth over the years. And now… now I just feel so stupid for just… taking all that crap for the truth. I mean, somewhere in the back of my mind I… I always knew that he was no good. I mean: when I was a kid and he went away, I really resented him, but then when my grandma started painting this… perfect picture of him, I… I… kinda got this glimmer of hope again, you know. I wanted to believe that there was some good in him and now… all those illusions," she paused for a second to roll down her window and stick her hand out, as in throwing something away. " out the window," she finished with a bitter smile.
" Pheebs…" Chandler began, feeling terrible for her when he saw that dull look in her normally vibrant green eyes.
" God, I feel like such a naïve little… naïve person, I feel like a fool, like a fool!" she interrupted him, right before breaking down in barely audible sobs.
Seeing and hearing what was going on, her friend didn't hesitate to climb in the front and softly pull her into a cordial embrace.
" Phoebe, no don't do this to yourself. Hey, you are in no way a fool, alright? This is your father we're talking about. Of course you want to think of him as this awesome, giving, kind-hearted guy. If anything, I admire you," he cooed into her ear, while he soothingly rubbed her back.
Phoebe only chuckled, then hiccupped: " Right, like I'm supposed to believe that."
" No, really I do, you're sporting such a positive approach to things, me I used to whine and bitch about my dad every day. And… I also wet the bed, but that's a different story… But anyway, what I'm trying to say in my unique, hopelessly dreadful way is that I… that I was so lucky compared to you, Phoebe. I learned a lot from you, you know: I'm counting my blessings these days and it's all thanks to you."
" Really, you mean that?" Phoebe asked quietly, slowly pulling back from the hug, a small smile now flirting with the corners of her mouth.
" Heck yeah, you're the most cheerful woman I know and the toughest, at that. You've got balls, Phoebe Buffay!" Chandler proclaimed strongly, then awkwardly stuttered: " I mean… I don't mean you've got balls… like balls balls… like literally that you're a man or…"
" Oh just shut up already, you… you big goofy guy… you," she retorted playfully, while lightly hitting him in the head, a broad happy grin making itself known to her lips.
Then, all of a sudden, he found himself getting lost in her whole appearance again, as he took in that adorable smile and those vivid, sparkling eyes of hers. ' Oh my god: I did it, I brought the glimmer back in her eye! Woohoo, at least one thing I did right tonight. God, she's so beautiful,' he found himself thinking, his brain seemingly melting as he was so caught up in her.
Then as if his mouth had an idea of its own, he subsequently blurted out: " You are so beautiful like this."
" What?!" the feisty blonde exclaimed, while hurriedly distancing herself from him, prompting Chandler to clamp a hand over his treacherous lips.
" Uh…uhm… fle… flen… flennan?" he squeaked nervously.
" You… you just called me beautiful, didn't you?" his friend inquired knowingly, finding his sudden embarrassment quite cute.
" Uh… I… I… yesss," ' the transponster' admitted, trying desperately not to make any eye-contact with her. Then, he found himself greatly surprised when she suddenly tilted his chin.
" That's so sweet of you to say, I think you deserve a little reward for that. Don't you think you should get a little reward, Chandler? A prize… if you will?" Phoebe subsequently purred teasingly, as she moved her face up close to his, almost, but not quite yet causing their lips to touch.
" Uhm, uhm… Phoebe, wha…" he gulped.
" Hush, it's time for your prize now," she whispered huskily, her hot breath fanning across the stray bristles of hair on his upper lip, before she finally closed the distance between them, welding her lips to his in a slow, sweet kiss. As soon as he felt the delightful delicacy that was Phoebe's mouth, Chandler eagerly reciprocated, exploring every last inch of her soft, velvety lips, while she moaned and tangled a hand in his short, spiky hair
" Oh… oh wow," Chandler whistled, when it had finally come to an end, truly meaning his words. His knees were in fact weak, from a simple little kiss that didn't even involve that much tongue.
" It really was," Phoebe agreed breathlessly, still swooning at the wonderful feeling she'd experienced, when she'd first felt Chandler's mouth hesitantly brushing itself against her own.
They sat in a comfortable silence for a while, until Phoebe suddenly spoke again: " Well, you comforted me alright."
" Anytime, Pheebs, anytime," her friend muttered blissfully, while he slowly wove his long, warm fingers in between her slender ones.
Just then, they both jumped, when they heard a frantic tapping at the window.
" Hey, let me in here! The doors are locked and I'm being chased by a huge raccoon!" Joey yelled, barely audible through the glass barrier that was currently separating him from his friends.
" So what exactly did you have to drink, before we came up here? Fifty gallons of the Mississippi?" Chandler quipped sarcastically.
" No! I just got lost and than this raccoon started watching me every move and... oh my god, there it is!" the actor explained, right before jumping into his friend's arms, emanating an almost feminine shriek in the process.
" That… uh, that's not a raccoon, Joe. It is in fact a squirrel and newsflash: squirrels do not in any kind of universe resemble raccoons," ' the transponster' clarified, while firmly placing Joey back onto his feet.
" And why didn't you just get in the cab?"
" Because I couldn't get the door open, I pushed and pushed… nothin'," the Italian whined, prompting his friend to let out a soft sigh: " You're supposed to pull it, Joe."
" Hey, what are you two rascals doing out there?!" came the voice of Phoebe.
" Nothing, Pheebs! We're coming right up!" Chandler replied, before turning to Joey.
" Come on, let's get back home."
" Oh… home, where there are no raccoons," his friend sighed happily.
" It was a squirrel," Chandler corrected, when him and Joey had gotten back in the car.
" Good, everybody's here, then we can leave… oh no, wait you still have my chichi, Chandler. You'll have to give it back."
" Alright, here it is," her friend stated, as he handed her the note, grinning slightly when the tips of his fingers brushed against hers.
" I'm still saying it was a raccoon," Joey sulked, defiantly crossing his arms. And he kept at this for almost the entire ride back home, with Chandler trying to convince him that raccoons didn't look like that, while Phoebe kept comforting him, saying things like: " Oh, I believe you, sweetie. If you say it was a raccoon, than that's what it was."
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" Ooh toilet seat covers!" Phoebe exclaimed enthusiastically, once she'd opened one of the guy's admittedly crappy presents.
She then quickly rose up to thank both of her friends, with a quick peck on the cheek.
When she'd reached Chandler, she couldn't help herself, as she allowed her lips to linger on to his jaw, just that little bit longer, effectively driving him crazy.
" Thank you," she whispered in his ear.
" Oh, those gifts were all Joey's idea really," Chandler mumbled modestly. Then, there appeared a playful glint in his eye, as he suddenly thought of something.
" Say, Pheebs, you know... if you'd like to trade it, that's always possible," he suggested, winking at her, while subtly gesturing to Monica's box of ribbed condoms.
" Oh no, I don't want to… oh, oh. Yeah, actually, Mon, would you mind terribly trading with me?" Phoebe asked, once she'd finally understood what he was getting at.
" Nah, you can have 'em. I'm never gonna find a boyfriend anyway," Monica threw back sadly.
" Oh, okay thanks," her friend declared cheerfully, as she quickly snatched the pack away from the table.
" Oh, damn. You know what, you guys? I'm pretty beat, so I think I'm gonna go call it a night. See ya all tomorrow," Chandler announced, as he fiercely started stretching himself. They all said their goodbyes, as he hugged all of the girls and whispered a quick something in Phoebe's ear. Nobody else really taking any notice of this occurence, as Rachel was busy comforting Joey about him nearly getting attacked by a gigantic raccoon and Ross was whining to Monica about the amount of gel he used in his hair.
And sure enough, five minutes after her new love interest had left, Phoebe got up from the couch and stated: " Well, I'm tired, I think I'll be heading back home, hit the sack."
" Bye," everyone muttered, still too caught up in their separate conversations, to notice where she was actually going.
" Chandler?" she brought out seductively, once she'd entered apartment 19. Then got confused, when she didn't get any reply.
" I'm right here," she suddenly heard, as two arms wrapped themselves tightly around her from behind, causing her to squeal with joy.
" So you ready to get comforted some more?" Chandler inquired huskily, right before sucking her earlobe into his warm mouth, provoking a loud gasp from the object of his affection.
" Ready, as I'll ever be, come on, cowboy," was the last thing the masseuse uttered, before she led him into his bedroom so he could "comfort" her better.