Evangelion Next Genesis
Ch. 1: You are (Most Likely Not) Alone
Act I: ANGEL!

"I'm sorry. Your call could not be completed. Please hang up and try again."

"Seriously?" A brown-haired boy about 14 groaned, "Who the hell keeps interrupting my phone calls and stops them from being completed!"

And suddenly, his answer presented itself - a giant, darkish green humanoid monster with a beaked skull face... thing.

"Whoa," The boy noted.

As the monster rampaged, the boy smirked.

"Today just got a bit more interesting..."

Suddenly, a blue car stopped right in front of him. The door opened, revealing a purple-haired woman with sunglasses.

"Shinji Ikari, I presume?" The woman smirked.

"Best. Day. Ever," the boy replied, "I mean, yes."

"Misato Katsuragi," The woman replied, "Sorry, I'm late."

One speedy drive later, and Misato and Shinji make it to the mysterious underground complex.

"Welcome to the New Earth Revival Ventures company. Also known as NERV," Misato smirked, "This is NERV HQ, the key in the effort to rebuild our world, and ensure our place in it."

"So, let me get this straight," Shinji observed, "I meet a hot girl in the middle of a giant monster attack, and she works for an organization meant to preserve all mankind?"

"Yeah, pretty much," Misato replied, crossing her arms.

"Best. Day. Ever," Shinji repeats, "How can this day get any cooler?"

As they walk into the next room, Shinji notices a giant robotic humanoid. Purple armor. Shoulder fins. A horn.

"BEST. DAY. EVER," Shinji smiles almost madly.

"Hey, Ritsuko, we're here!" Misato shouted to a blonde woman in a labcoat standing nearby.

"About time," Ritsuko Akagi groaned, "And I suppose THIS is the Third Child."

"Third Child?" Shinji snapped out of his almost crazy look, "I'm no child! I'm more manly then anybody else! My manliness will pierce the heavens themselves!"

"... He's a Gurren Lagann fanboy, I take it," Ritsuko blinked.

"Yeah, I don't know either," Misato sighed.

"The hell's Gurren Lagann?"

As the monster rampaged outside, Gendo Ikari, a man with gloves, glasses, and a stern look on his face, sat waiting at a table on top of a large... thing.

"Misato Katsuragi has arrived with the Third Child," an old man named Kozo Fuyutsuki spoke.

"About time, too," Gendo smirked, "Project Eva is underway."

"So, lemme get this straight," Shinji blinked, "You expect me to fight this monster, which you refer to as an Angel, using this... Evangelion, as you call it?"

"Yes," Ritsuko replied, "We found that it seemed to respond best to your genetic template."

"... As I said before, Best. Day. EVER. In ALL. Of HISTORY," Shinji replied, "But wait... didn't my DAD send the invitation?"

"Correct," A voice spoke. Everyone looked up to see Gendo Ikari standing nearby, above some stairs, "Been a long time, Shinji."

"... Who are you?" Shinji asked, causing everyone to groan intensely.

"It's me, your dad," Gendo replied.

"You're my dad?" Shinji asked, "You look more like a pedophile."

"WHAT?" Gendo ran down the stairs, murderous intentions written on his own face.

"MY VIRGINITY REGRETS NOTHING!" Shinji ran away, with Gendo in pursuit.

"Yep, father and son, alright," Misato sighed.

After Shinji's 'whipping,' and after they got Shinji into a plugsuit, they headed back towards the room where the Eva was, riding a platform up to the walkway that went around to the Eva's back. Misato led Shinji over to it, where techntions were preparing the cockpit.

Ritsuko stepped towards them. "Shinji, you need to wear these," she said, holding out a pair of hair clips. "The Eva works by mental commands, and these A-10 clips will boost your mental waves to improve synchronization."

"A robot that works by means of mere thought," Shinji observed, "So, I can command it to grow a drill on his arm, and it'll do that?"

"... No," Ritsuko replied, "No, it will not."

As the once-black eyes glowed blue, the Eva was transported to a launching deck.

"Evangelion Unit 01 has been transported to the launching deck," A operator spoke.

"Launch!" Misato ordered, and watched as the Eva was transported to the surface.

To Be Continued