Tom lay in bed, trying to get to sleep. His eyes wouldn't close, he couldn't relax. What was his problem? He had no idea, but it might be the nightmares that he had been having for the past few weeks.

They always started out as normal dreams, and then something would change. Each time then they had been at a park, eating lunch. They always went to the same park when they went out for lunch. It had a river to their right, and a road to their left.

He hadn't had nightmares this bad since high school, and even then than they hadn't been this bad.

The first time then Matt had died.

They were at the park, sitting on the dry ground. Tord and Edd wrestled lightly in the grass, occasionally stopping when they both got too tired out, or stopping to tickle each other. They always acted like children. Matt said something to him about having to go to the car and get something, and Tom looked up at him lovingly, holding onto his hand tight.

"Don't go Matt." He pouted, holding down a smile. "I need you."

"You can have me as soon as I get back." He smiled, pecking Tom's forehead before slipping his hand out of Tom's grasp. "I won't be long."

"Alright." He smiled, but he felt it drop once the ginger reached the road. He had never trusted the people driving down that stretch, they tended to double the speed limit, and a kid had been hit before. He watched anxiously as Matt crossed the street, letting out his breath once he got safely across it.

He turned back to look at Edd and Tord for a moment, watching as Tord pinned Edd to the grass, and tickled him breathless. He let his smile return, and turned back to watch Matt, holding his breath again when he stepped onto the street.

There was suddenly a truck, and Matt's eyes widened.

"Matt!" Tom cried out the ginger's name, watching, horrified, as the truck zipped past without stopping. "Matt!" He lay crumpled on the street, still as stone, while Tom stood and ran over. He stumbled many a time, falling and scraping up his hands and his knees.

The ginger was broken, seemingly everywhere. Tom raced up, but he knew he was too late. Why was he never fast enough?!

"It's okay Tom." Matt whimpered a bit, blood dripping down his chin and to the street below his head. "I'm sorry I didn't look."

"nononono!" Tom cradled Matt's head, trying to keep the ginger's cheek off of the hard road without causing him pain. "Matt!"

"I love you." His eyes slid shut.

Tom awoke with a start, breathing hard, with tears streaming down his face. He didn't stop quietly crying until he saw Matt, alive and well, at breakfast an hour later.

He had that nightmare for a week straight, and every time that he tried to stop it, nothing happened. He could never save Matt, he could never run fast enough.

The next Saturday then it changed to a different dream.

It wasn't like it was any better though.

This time then they had begun at home, sitting around. Tord was nowhere to be found, and Edd had gone out to look for him. After about an hour then Matt had insisted that they go out to look for him as well, make sure that neither Edd nor Tord hadn't gotten hurt, or gotten too cold. It was about thirty five degrees outside, and had been snowing for a few hours, so freezing wasn't really out of the question.

He found out after a moment talking with Matt in the car that Tord had been gone for three days, and none of them had seen, or heard from him since then. Even Tom had too admit that that was strange. The stupid communist wouldn't just disappear (no matter how much he kind of hoped that he would). They continued to drive until Matt's phone dinged with a text from Edd.

I know where he is.

Tom asked if he could use the phone, and Matt just nodded, not willing to take his eyes off of the road. Tom picked it up, choosing to call Edd instead of simply texting him. At the third ring then he picked up.

"Hey." Edd didn't sound enthusiastic, and Tom could hear the crunch of his boots on the snow. "Is this Matt?"

"No, it's Tom." He paused for a moment. "Put on your gloves before your hands freeze." He made a guess that he had forgotten to put them back on after sending the text.

"Okay." At this he could hear a bit of amusement in the male's voice, and he did what Tom asked.

"Now, where are you?"

"The crossroads." The sound of his boots on the snow stopped. "Do you want me to wait?"

"Yeah. We'll pick you up."

"Thanks."

"No problem, see you in a minute."

"See ya then." He hung up.

"He's at the crossroads Matt."

"He walked that far?" He was surprised. "That's quite a ways to walk."

"Yeah." Tom was afraid. He didn't want anything to happen to any of his friends. Even if he hated Tord, he still didn't want him hurt.

After a moment of driving slowly and carefully, they arrived at the crossroads.

"Hey guys." Edd opened the back door, climbing in after brushing off a bit of the snow off of his shoulders and legs.

"Where is the commie exactly?"

"He left me a message a day ago. I think my phone was dead at the time, and I didn't see it." He stopped, eyebrows furrowing with worry. "He said he would be at the park. In that big tree by the tables?" The last part sounded like a question, and his mouth curved into a frown. "Why would he be in a tree?"

"He's Tord." Matt shrugged, trying to stay nonchalant for Edd's sake. "He's done weirder things than this."

"I dunno. He sounded funny." Edd didn't relax at all, and his hands clenched the fabric of his green winter jacket. "Like he was drunk, or crying or something."

"He's probably fine Edd." Tom looked back at him, reaching back to put a comforting hand on his leg. "Don't get your boxers in a twist over it."

"Okay." He let out a shaky breath, loosening his grip on his jacket. "I just hope he's alright."

"He will be." Tom smiled lightly at him, getting back into his seat, and leaning back into the warm fabric of it. He didn't move until the car finally stopped.

"We're here guys." Matt turned off the car, making sure to turn on the parking brake. "Let's go find Tord."

Edd hopped out first, shutting the door behind him, and Tom watch him through the window. The green-clad male bent down to fix his boots, and then looked around. Tom watched Edd for a moment more before getting out of the car himself.

"Tom, I'm worried." Matt walked up beside him as they wandered across the snow covered road, linking his arm with Tom's own. "What if Tord's gone and hurt himself? Jumped out of the tree or something."

"He wouldn't do that." Tom unlinked their arms, choosing to grab Matt's gloved hand instead. "He knows how much you guys care for him, and without him, I don't even know what Edd would do." He looked down for a moment, eyeing his boots. He looked up before continuing. "He may be selfish, but even he wouldn't be selfish enough to do that."

"I hope you're right." The kept walking, taking slightly longer strides to keep up with Edd.

They arrived at the tree, and after looking up into the branches, Edd let out a shaky breath.

"He's not here." He stopped, looking back at them with a light smile. "He's not here."

"Don't get too excited. We still need to check around, make sure he's not in the park." Matt squeezed Tom's hand, not planning on letting go anytime soon. They watched as Edd walked around the large tree, his caramel, brown eyes focused on nothing in particular.

They didn't expect to hear him scream as soon as he disappeared around the other side.

Matt and Tom raced around the other side, and Tom felt his eyes widen at the sight that lay before them.

Tord lay on the ground, his neck bent at a strange angle, too far to the side. Edd was on his knees letting out broken sobs, and saying his name over and over. His hands met Tord's cold arm, and found his hand.

"No, no no no no no no!" Edd cradled his arm against himself, sobbing. "No!"

"Edd, it's alright." Matt put a hand onto his shoulder, trying to calm him down while Tom called emergency services. He was shaken off.

"Shut up!" He cried. "Just shut up!"

"Edd..."

"No! It's not alright!" He looked up at Tom and Matt for a moment. "It's not it's not it's not." He trailed off, cradling Tord's body now. He held his loose head against his chest, spluttering out despair-filled but sweet nothings to the cold and deceased body of his oldest friend.

"Hello. 911, what is your emergency?"

"Yeah, um." Tom cut off, feeling his breath catch within his chest. If this was a dream, why did it feel so real? "M-My friend" He paused, taking a deep breath. "My friend jumped out of a tree."

"Do you need an ambulance?"

"Yes, but I think he's already dead."

"Where are you?"

"Irving park j-just south of the hospital."

"Help will be there soon."

"Please hurry." He mumbled, hanging up. He slipped his phone into his pocket, and met Matt's eyes for a moment. The ginger haired male squatted down next to Edd, and put an arm around his shoulders, trying to tell him to breath.

Tom gave Edd a glance, watching his shoulders rise and fall with his every choked breath. Tears streamed down his face, and Tom suddenly felt that this was his fault. Maybe if he had been nicer to Tord, maybe if he hadn't have shot down his stupid robot, maybe, maybe, maybe...

Tom awoke with a start, breathing hard. He sat up and felt a few cold tears slip down his cheeks. He lay back down after a second, pulling the sheets up to his neck. He didn't want to be afraid. He fell back asleep, just to have he same dream again, and again the next night.

He had it for a week, until it changed again.

They went to the park again, and Tom was fine with it. It's not like he was in any sort of mood to argue anyways.

The car ride was uneventful, and with Tord and Edd in the front seat he got to sit in the back with Matt. The ginger held his attention for a while, and as soon as he lost interest he just grabbed his hand. They sat in comfortable silence, listening to the wind whistle outside, and to the conversation of the two males in the front seat. Everything seemed pretty great.

They arrived at the park after a while, talking on their way to their usual spot. After lunch then Edd and Tord started to goof off, as usual, while Matt and Tom watched from the sidelines. They felt like parents, if parents could have children that were the same age as them.

It was all fine and dandy until Edd tripped into the river.

Tord yelled Edd's name, and Tom watched, as if in slow motion, as the green-hoodie clad male slipped under the water. After what seemed like forever Tord dove in after him, and Tom couldn't move. Eventually Tord came back up out of the water, coughing. Edd was slung over his shoulder, completely still, and as pale as a ghost.

Tord pounded on his chest for a moment on the bank, trying to get the water out of his lungs. Matt and Tom were there, both crouched next to the still form of their friend.

Tom still couldn't move, but somehow he knew that Edd wouldn't survive this.

Tord stopped his anxious Heimlich, and exchanged it for mouth to mouth.

Tom watched as spasms wracked Edd's body, and water spilled from his mouth when Tord rolled him over.

"Edd!" Tord cried out his name when blood spilled out after the water. Edd fell still, and Tord cradled him against his chest. "Buddy, hey." Tord's blue eyes filled with tears, and his hand met Edd's neck. By the expression Tom knew that he hadn't felt a heart-beat. "No." He shook. "You can't leave me Edd. You just can't. Please." Tord never cried, but suddenly he found himself sobbing.

Tom recalled his past dream where it was Edd cradling Tord. Now it was the other way around.

"Edd?" Tom reached out a hand, his touch very light on Edd's heavy head. He felt his own head swim, and all of a sudden he was crying. How had this happened?

Tom woke up, he felt a violent sob wrack his body, and he curled under his blankets. He listened as footsteps quickly reached his door.

"Tom?" Matt opened the door, letting in just a sliver of light. "I heard crying. You okay?" His room was right next door, so it's not like he didn't hear him rolling about most nights. He came in if he heard crying, he always had. Tom had made sure to be quiet most nights, but he couldn't after that, after he had watched Edd drown.

"J-Just a bad dream. I'm fine Matt." He didn't come out from under the covers.

"Can I come in?"

"If you want to." He curled up against the wall, and Matt sat on the edge of his checkered bedspread.

"Wanna tell me what it was about?"

"Why were you awake anyway?"

"Why do you keep having nightmares?"

"I have no clue."

"I'll stay if you want me to." Matt looked at Tom, his baby blue eyes wide and worried. His hair was a wreck, but for once he didn't seem to care about himself. He lightly touched Tom's hand with his own, and Tom grabbed it. He never wanted to let go.

"I want you to stay." He nodded a bit, pulling Matt more onto the bed with him.

"Okay." He smiled, sitting crisscross right across from him. "What happened?"

"I had a really bad one Matt."

"I got that" He grabbed Tom's other hand, holding both of them to try to make him feel better. "give me a story."

"I've been having bad ones for a while now."

"You didn't cry, at least, you didn't cry very loud."

"I stayed quiet. I didn't want you to worry."

"I always worry, about you and your head. Can I please have the stories of all of your nightmares now?"

"Sure." Tom heaved a sigh, looking down at his lap for a moment.

He told his boyfriend everything, newest to oldest. At the last one he found himself crying again. He didn't want to tell him that he had dreamed about him getting hit by a car. He didn't want him to worry. Matt didn't deserve that.

"Is that why you didn't want to go to the park the other day?"

"Yeah."

"You still went with us." Matt smiled at him, his eyes still sad. "Now I understand why you wouldn't let me go back to the car alone."

"Yeah, sorry." He still held one of Matt's hands. "I couldn't let you get hurt." He yawned lightly.

"As long as you're around, I don't think I will." He tilted up Tom's chin, making him meet his baby blue eyes with his black ones. He giggled when Tom yawned at him "I definitely won't try."

"I love you Matt." He threw his arms sleepily around the ginger, silently cursing himself for messing up the blankets.

"I love you too Tomas." He hugged him back, smiling where he couldn't see. After a minute or two then he let go, and let Tom's sleeping body fall against him. "I love you so much"