This Isn't Goodbye

A/N: Kind of depressing. I rewatched Death Note, then up to the part that L um, moves on. So, this is what Light gets for um, pushing L into the 'beyond'. -clears throat-

L did NOT die.

Light stared at L, the genius that he had grown to love. He knew it was wrong, loving someone so pure, when he was a dirty, lying fool who had killed people in his own deluded sense of 'justice'. It made him sick just thinking about what he had done.

It made him want to claw out his own heart. L's obsidian eyes bore back into his own, pausing the fork from getting another bite of his beloved cake. "Light-kun. You have been staring at me. Is something wrong?" he asked in a tone of voice that would be used to say 'I don't care'.

Light blinked at the sudden sound breaking the bordering awkward silence that had surrounded the two. "No, L. I just feel-tired, I guess."

'Tired of life, that is.' he added silently in his mind. He stared awkwardly at his shoes, fidgeting under L's intense stare. "Does Light-kun like to go to bed?" he offered, bringing his thumb to his lips, the chain jingling metallically as he did so. Light was acting different. L wasn't sure how he was different, but he just seemed, hollow, empty, just kind of strange. He never fought back anymore, barely giving any emotion to L. It was all rather peculiar.

Light shook his head, his beautiful tresses falling over his face as he did so. "No, L. We should work on the Kira case."

L shrugged vacantly. He turned back around in his seat and continued. It wasn't long before Light fell asleep, waking L up from case-mode. His cheek was pressed against the cool marble of the table, hair all mussed up. The world's greatest detective sighed, the Kira case was remaining fruitless, and it was driving him crazy. He knew it was Light, why couldn't he prove it? He poked Light a bit, trying to wake him, but it was in vain. He picked Light up piggy-back style and started on the trek up the stairs and into their private quarters. Light was surprisingly light, ha, no pun intended. He didn't feel at all a hundred and twelve pounds at the medical records stated. L turned his head and looked closer at the boy. He was skinnier than usual, more defined cheekbones, and there were dark circles under his eyes.

The detective frowned, why was Light like this. He thought back on all the lunches and dinners he skipped and how late at night he stayed up working on the Kira case. L sighed guiltily, maybe he was being to hard on the kid.

But, he shook that thought away and continued up the stairs. He laid him down and put the blanket on both of them. L fell asleep quickly, the stress of the case too much. L was human, and humans sleep.

In the middle of the night, around two, Light awoke. He stared at the sleeping form next to him. He was curled in the usual pose, knees to his chest, as he slept, dead to the world.

Light couldn't take the guilt anymore, it haunted his dreams, his thoughts, his everything. It was driving him mad. He stiffened, realizing a rather appealing idea running through his head. He could use the Death Note to kill himself, and maybe L will forgive him. Maybe all the people who he killed with the very same device would forgive him.

He bit his lip, staring at L's finally at peace face. His face was relaxed, much unlike Light's. He sighs in his sleep, rearranging his arms around his knees. The younger pulled a blanket over his body and took out Misa's Death Note from his side of mattress. He flipped through it, throat tightening as he did so at all the names he wrote. He went to the next clean page and thought. He loved L, more than anything, if it meant L would be happy without him, then so be it. He raised his pen, and started writing.

Dear L, Father, and everyone else,

I am Kira. I don't know how I became Kira, I just found this Death Note, and started killing criminals. Then I met L, and I fell in love. Again, I don't know how that happened, but I don't regret it. I know my ways weren't correct, and call me a deluded, naive fool with a cruel sense of justice, and I know I am. I love L, and I'd sacrifice the world for him, or in my case, me. The guilt has been killing me ever since I received my memories, and I mean literally killing me. It's been eating me away, and now, with this final note, I know I shall die.

Have a great life, L. I hope you find someone that will love you from the start, unlike me. And dad, I love you even though I never did tell you. Tell mother I love her too, and that I'm so sorry. Tell Sayu that I will forever regret never being able to watch her grow up, never going to see her walk down the aisle, everything.

Goodbye everyone,

Light Yagami

He put down the pen, counting down.

40

It was all for L, all for him.

39

He will forever love him, even though he knew he was going to Mu, or hell.

38

How ironic, he was going to die the way he killed.

37

He wanted to spend the rest of his life with L, which wasn't exactly long.

36

So he leaned to L, snuggling to his warmth, and waited.

35

And waited.

...

3

Light picked up his head and pressed his lips to L's.

2.

1.

And that was the end of Light Yagami.

A/N: Huh. Please tell me if you want L and Light to be back together, cause I dunno.

Thanks for clicking my story, and I'll see you next time.