Why Moony Should Tell Padfoot –
23.08.16/04.09.16/05.09.16/06.09.16 (edited on 07.09.16)
DISCLAIMER: I do not own these characters.
Sirius groaned as he was stirred from his comfortable sleep. Urgent stomping around his dorm room had woken him and he had a pretty good idea of who it was. The stomping had apparently woken Peter too because Sirius could hear him grumbling from his bed. Sirius frowned and closed his eyes tighter in hopes that maybe he would somehow fall asleep again. He knew they were false hopes but that didn't stop him trying.
He sighed exasperatedly when he realised that he wasn't going back to sleep and relaxed his eyes; he grinned half-heartedly as he listened to his best mate mumble about presents and uniforms and game plans. Suddenly, his face dropped when it dawned on him; it was Saturday morning. And that meant that both he and James had to be up early for the upcoming Quidditch game, since they were both pretty important parts of it.
James was storming around the dorm room – as loudly as possible in Sirius' opinion – because he was team captain for the Gryffindor team. And that meant he had a lot on his mind about the game. Sirius was somewhat surprised to find that he hadn't been jolted awake by him yet since Sirius was the team's Beater. Usually Sirius would've been woken up as soon as James was. But, apparently he hadn't been today. He wondered why not, briefly, before he mentally shrugged and decided to lay still in his bed until James 'woke' him up.
He placidly listened to the world around him; to the clothes being thrown around from James' area, and James mumbling the details of his plan to himself; to Peter groaning and mumbling inaudibly from his bed and shuffling about under his covers; to Remus…
Sirius cautiously opened his eyes, and momentarily sighed with relief when he found his curtains shut – guarding him from the outside world and any intruding light – before he looked to his left. A smile tugged at his lips from the sight that he saw. He saw his sleeping lycanthrope lying there, looking as innocent as could be, snoring lightly. His eyes were closed – because lucky for him, he was still asleep – and his hair was mussed. He had that docile, peaceful look on his face which made Sirius smile wider. He wondered how Remus could still be asleep because usually he was the deep sleeper and Remus was an early bird.
"Padfoot?" James called from a little distance, disturbing Sirius from his thoughts. "Get the fuck up! It's 8 o'clock!" He paused for a moment, and Sirius thought it was probably to listen for a reply. "We've got the game soon and we need to have breakfast!"
"Alright!" he shouted back groggily and stared up at the canopy with a frown. He sighed deeply again and decided it was time to get up. "I'm getting up," he said.
Sirius looked back at Remus and saw that he was still sleeping, despite his and James' shouting. He began to move and winced at the feeling in his arm. He flexed his fingers and flung his head back in the pillows. He tried to move his arm again and whimpered. It felt numb and heavy; it was dead! Or asleep, at least. He could still move his fingers. That was a good sign.
He groaned aloud. Having a dead arm, on the morning of the Gryffindor vs. Hufflepuff game when you were the star Beater, was not good. No, it was not a good thing at all. He needed the strength back in his arm as soon as possible.
He stared at the sleeping werewolf one last time before he moved his attention to his trapped arm. He shifted his body and used his other arm to gently push Remus away and remove his arm from under his neck. When his arm was free, he looked back at Remus and noticed that the normally light sleeper still hadn't stirred.
He stared at him with both amazement and amusement that he still hadn't woken up. But, then he frowned and worriedly, he used his working arm to check for a pulse. When he found one, he sagged with relief. He flopped onto his back and groaned as he felt the blood rushing through and around his arm.
His arm still felt heavy but it was becoming less numb in places. However those less numb places became more heavy and full of dull pins and needles which, over time, became stronger. He tried to flex his muscles, as best he could, to circulate the blood around his arm. Soon the pins and needles became stronger and spread all across his arm making him writhe around dramatically as the feeling slowly returned, in phases, back to his previously sleeping limb.
He heard a soft, sleepy chuckled from his left and he stopped writhing as his head snapped towards the sound. He looked over to find a curious, slightly amused face staring back at him.
"Padfoot, what are you doing?" Remus asked. Sirius grinned sheepishly and pointed at his arm, which he tried to lift but couldn't manage to levitate it very far off the bed.
"I… My arm's asleep," he explained weakly. He tried to lift his numb pins and needles arm again but couldn't. Remus watched his effort and huffed a laugh.
"Hm," Remus hummed and rubbed at his face tiredly. He shifted so he was on his side looking at Sirius. He yawned widely and concealed it weakly behind his hand. Sirius shifted, as best he could, onto his side too; he made sure his arm wasn't trapped again. Remus cleared his throat faintly and stared at Sirius for a moment with that look that Sirius loved. Remus smiled a small smile. "It's the Quidditch game today, isn't it?" he asked, despite already knowing the answer.
Sirius nodded and flexed his arm, the feeling almost completely back and few pins and needles left. "Yep. Prongs has been flitting about all morning. I'm surprised he didn't wake you up. Are you okay?" he asked, a little worried at Remus' lie in.
Remus chuckled and nodded. "I'm fine. I'm surprised James hasn't shook you awake yet," he mused.
"Yeah, me too," Sirius agreed. "Well, he sort of did. But I was awake before that, so…" he shrugged noncommittally and Remus hummed.
"You should get up," Remus said as he sat up and stretched. His shirt lifted a little and Sirius watched him quietly. He was quite content to just stare at the person who, only a few days earlier, he'd admitted his love for. Remus turned to look at him and quirked a brow. "What are you doing?"
"Just admiring the view," Sirius replied casually. He knocked Remus' arm on purpose making him flop back onto the pillow next to Sirius. Remus chuckled and Sirius planted a chaste kiss on his lips and stared into his eyes.
"You have to get up. Or James'll pummel you," Remus stated after a few moments.
"I'll be honest, Rem, I don't want to move," he replied, looking around Remus' face at his eyes and hair and lips. "I'll take the beating. Although, I reckon I'd win anyway."
"No you wouldn't!" shouted an indignant James. "Also, get the fuck up!" he repeated. "You can smooch after the game!"
Remus flushed while Sirius barked a laugh. "That's not what we were doing," Remus defended.
"Ahuh," James replied doubtfully.
"It wasn't!"
"You guys are a lot louder than you think you are, you know," Peter bawled from his bed.
Remus flushed again and Sirius smirked. Remus looked at Sirius seriously. "You have to get up," he said as he pushed open the bed curtains and climbed out. "C'mon, you don't want to miss breakfast," he called from outside the curtains and closer to his own bed.
Sirius groaned but, albeit reluctantly, opened the curtains on his side of the bed and stumbled out onto the cold floor. He stood up straight and glanced around the room. Peter walked into the bathroom and James knelt by his trunk digging through it. Sirius stretched out and laughed at the wolf whistle he received.
"Looking good," James joked making Sirius strike a pose.
"I know. But it's for Moony's eyes only," he said. "Isn't that right?" he asked, looking over to Remus' bed. Remus nodded solemnly and picked up some of his clothes before he made his way to the bathroom too.
Sirius dropped his arms and trudged over to his trunk and pulled out his Quidditch uniform. "Prongs, what are you looking for?" he asked, finally realising that James was already fully dressed.
"I was meant to give this thing to Lily but I forgot! And now she's angry with me for… something… I'm not entirely sure what I did to be honest... Anyway, I reckon this thing I got her will right things," James replied distractedly.
"What was it?" he asked as his slipped into his Quidditch gear – trousers first.
"Well, I'm not gonna tell you that," James laughed. "You'll rip the piss out of me!"
Sirius gasped. "Me? Laugh at you? I would never!" he squealed, mock offended. In all honesty, he probably would tease and laugh at him. "Is it that golden locket with that picture you had Wormtail draw of her in it?"
James' head snapped up and Sirius saw his eyes were wide. "No," he argued unconvincingly. Sirius smirked and buttoned up his shirt. "Hypothetically, if it was that, where would that be?"
Sirius kept his head down but glanced up at James through his lashes. "Is it that?" he asked challengingly. "I'd tell you if it was that."
He could see the battle behind James' glasses in his hazel eyes; whether he should give up and admit it or keep denying it to avoid the inevitable mocking. Eventually he sighed dejectedly and glared at Sirius. "Yes. It's that," he said through gritted teeth.
Sirius smirked evilly and looked up to look him in the eye. Grey eyes met hazel challengingly. "It's over there," he said pointed to James' nightstand. "Bottom drawer."
James rushed towards it and searched through it frantically. He found the little box he'd been searching for and threw his head back, heaving a loud relieved sigh. "Thank Merlin," he murmured to himself.
"Or thank me," Sirius pouted. "I mean, I did help you after all."
James stood up and waved him off. "Yeah, yeah. Thank you too." He studied the necklace intently before he pocketed it and smiled. "You ready for today?"
Sirius stretched out and yawned. "Yep," he chirped when he'd finished stretching. That moment, both Remus and Peter came out of the bathroom laughing about something. Peter went over to his bed and rummaged through his trunk while Remus searched around and under his bed. They were both still chuckling under their breaths, but before Sirius could ask what was so funny, James interrupted.
"Great," he clapped his hands, attracting everyone's attention. "I'm gonna go down to the common room. You ready?" he asked. "Padfoot? Wormtail? Moony?"
"I've got to brush my teeth and stuff," Sirius replied. James nodded.
"Yeah, I'm done," Peter said, flinging his Gryffindor scarf around his neck lazily and stalking towards the door James was now holding open. "Moony?" he asked, stopping in the doorway and turning around to look at Remus.
Remus looked up. "I'll be down in a minute. I need to find something," he said before he returned to looking under his bed for his mystery object.
"Okay. We'll wait downstairs for yous," Peter replied before he bounded down the stairs.
"And you," James said, pointing a finger at Sirius. "Hurry up. We haven't got much time for breakfast before the game." Sirius nodded and James left the dorm, slamming the door shut behind himself.
Sirius sloped over to Remus' bed and leaned against the bedpost. He studied his friend who was lying on the floor, halfway under his bed. "What are you looking for?" he asked, curiosity getting the better of him.
Remus either ignored him or didn't hear him but moments later, Sirius heard a muffled "Aha!" from under the bed. Remus shimmied out and stood up grinning. "This," he said, holding up one of his many notebooks.
Sirius nodded slowly. "Right… Why d'you need that? You're not doing homework during the game, are you?" he cawed incredulously.
Remus laughed. "No! Of course not."
"Good. Because that would be pushing it," he muttered to himself. "So why d'you need it?"
"Never you mind," he smiled ominously. He walked over to Sirius and stopped shortly in front of him. "Aren't you meant to be getting dressed?"
"I am dressed," he said matter of fact like before looking Remus up and down. "And then I got distracted," he grinned mischievously.
Remus flushed slightly and chuckled. Sirius watched as he turned away (probably to hide his pink tinged cheeks, Sirius reckoned) and picked up his school bag. He stuffed the book into his bag and turned his attention back to Sirius.
They stood, in silence, staring at one another for a couple of seconds before Sirius leant forward to press lips together. Before he could, however, Remus moved. "I'll see you down there," he said quietly before brushing past Sirius and leaving the dorms – and leaving, whether he knew it or not, leaving a flustered Gryffindor in his wake.
Sirius groaned in frustration and whipped around to stare at the closed door. He sighed and made his way to the bathroom to brush his teeth.
H+H+H+H+H
When Sirius had a quick wash (with cold water) and had brushed his teeth, he made his way down to the common room to meet up the other Marauder's as well as a couple of other Gryffindor's (namely Lily Evans and her friends). Together, they all made their way to the Great Hall for breakfast, and merrily chatted along the way about the upcoming game. As they entered the Hall, James went through a step by step of his fool proof plan. Sirius didn't pay much attention since he had heard it multiple times and could practically recite it in his sleep.
Sirius and James loaded up their plates – knowing from past experience that playing Quidditch on an empty stomach was a bad idea – and began stuffing their faces. Sirius wasn't feeling too nervous, it wasn't really his nature, but he could tell James was nervous. He always got anxious for Quidditch games, Sirius noticed, despite always having a solid plan.
"What're you writing?" James mumbled through his bacon. Sirius looked up, but didn't stop eating, to see who his best mate was asking. When James received no reply, he continued. "Moony?"
Suddenly, four sets of eyes were on Remus. Remus glanced up and closed his book quickly. Sirius noticed he'd left his thumb there as a bookmark; a clear sign he wouldn't stop writing just because he'd been interrupted.
"Nothing," Remus replied calmly, but Sirius noticed the slight tense in his body and how he straightened his posture slightly. Peter, who was sat next to him, avoided looking at what they were talking about and instead ploughed through his food. "An experiment," he excused.
"Oh really?" James said sceptically. "What on?"
"On the amount of food people eat before a Sports game," Remus replied.
"Hm," James hummed. "Alright," he shrugged and returned to his food.
Sirius knew that Remus' excuse had been pre-planned, knowing Remus like he did (probably in case he were asked that exact question, he surmised), but James seemed to believe it as he asked no more questions about it. Remus also seemed quite satisfied no more questions were going to be asked as he returned to writing in his notebook. Covertly, this time.
Sirius reckoned Peter probably knew what was being written and that's why he'd paid no attention to it, but Sirius didn't think he should ask. He'd probably find out later anyways.
Sirius ate, more or less, in silence. The rest of the Great Hall was abuzz with noise and excited chatter. Peter harped on about the game with a small, chubby blonde fifth year sat next to him. James cracked jokes every now and then, eliciting cackles and laughter from Lily and her friends. And Remus sat, steadily writing.
Eventually, Remus finished writing and shoved his book back in his bag. "You're going down to the pitch beforehand, right?" Remus asked as he looked up at the two dark haired boys across from him, waiting for an answer.
Sirius glanced sideways at James and nodded when he realised James hadn't heard and was busy gorging on food again. "Yep," he answered aloud before chomping on a spoonful of scrambled eggs.
"Okay, good… Look, I've got to do something before. So I'll meet you down at the pitch?" he asked hesitantly as he ate the rest of the food on his plate – a slice of toast and a sausage.
Sirius nodded again. "Yeah, that's fine." Remus smiled and nodded once as acknowledgment.
"Mm? Is this for Herbology?" Peter asked, suddenly alert to the conversation next to him. "Are you going to the library?"
"I, yes. I suppose I was. But no, it's not for Herbology. But you can come if you want," Remus replied.
Peter grinned and nodded. He started cramming food down his gullet as quick as he could and Sirius watched in amusement, wondering briefly how he hadn't choked from the speed.
"Calm down, Wormy," he said, eventually but still amused at his friends urgency. "Moony's not even finished his toast," he pointed out, literally; he pointed at Remus with his fork before he carried on eating his own food.
Peter looked at Remus who waved his toast gently – signalling that Sirius was right and they had time – and slowed down considerably with his food, trying to swallow the mound in his gob. Sirius and Remus shared an amused look.
Sirius suddenly thought of something. "Wait, am I – are we, going to see you before it starts?" Sirius asked.
Remus nodded. "Yes, same as usual," he smiled. "More or less," he added thoughtfully.
Sirius nodded, satisfied that he'd see Remus before the game actually started. Usually, the four Marauder's would go down to the changing rooms – Peter and Remus were often allowed to sit in, despite not being on the team – and waited in there for the few hours before the game started. Just before it started, Remus and Peter would leave to go sit in the stands and James and Sirius would spend their time with the rest of the team.
"C'mon," James said suddenly, jumping out from the bench. "We should go down now." Sirius nodded and got up too. "You two coming?" James asked the other half of the Marauder's. They shook their heads.
"No, we've got some stuff to do," Peter said through his munches on some beans and sausages.
"We'll see you before you go out, though," Remus added to assure them both.
"Alright," James shrugged noncommittally. "See you in a bit." He strode off down the aisle slowly and happily, waiting for Sirius to finish his goodbyes.
"See you later," Sirius said, giving a little wave and hurrying up the little ways up the aisle to where James was meandering. Together, he and James took a long stroll, to waste time, down to the Quidditch pitch and changing rooms.
H+H+H+H+H
Sirius sat on one of the oddly comfortable (odd because they were old and wooden) benches in the Gryffindor Quidditch changing rooms and watched as his best mate paced back and forth in front of him. It was their usual routine, except, normally he had the other two to help him calm James's tidal wave of nerves before a big game.
The rest of the team were sitting around the rooms in their various friendship groups. James had made it a rule that friends could be in the rooms until 30 or so minutes before the start of a game. Everyone knew it was purely for selfish reasons – as he wanted Peter and Remus, and sometimes Evans in the rooms with him and Sirius – but no one cared much since they got to spend time with their friends beforehand too.
"Prongs, please. Stop pacing," he pleaded exasperatedly. He was never any good at getting through to James before a game. As predicted, James ignored him and carried on his pacing. Sirius sighed and took a glance around the changing rooms he knew quite well.
They were sat in a sort of waiting room area where there were pegs and lockers and benches. To the right of him were the actual changing rooms – the separated stalls/rooms for the boys and girls where they could change and shower. Behind him were the doors that led to the pitch and Gryffindor stands. Dotted all around the room were various Gryffindor students (and a couple from other Houses) from different years in their groups chatting away excitedly and nervously.
Sirius could feel the anxiety and excitement in the air – he attributed that to his Animagus counterpart since dogs had a keen sense of emotion, he'd read before – but he could also feel the joy that people were emitting. Everyone believed in James and his plan.
James stopped suddenly and turned to the rest of the room. "Right, out," he shouted with authority. "Thirty minutes until the game! Go and get yourselves a good seat!"
Nobody argued; they got up, said their goodbyes, and left as instructed. Sirius was quite impressed with how people listened to his friend. It didn't surprise him, though. Most people respected James Potter, Sirius included.
James plonked himself heavily down on the seat next to Sirius and sighed deeply and heavily. He tilted his head back to rest against the wall. Sirius hid his amused smirk and instead asked his friend, "What's wrong?" knowing that he clearly had something he wanted to say.
"I found out what I did wrong," he answered, referring to their earlier conversation that morning. Sirius waited for him to continue. "I, apparently, haven't taken her on a proper date yet."
Sirius frowned. "What about the 'study-date'?"
"Doesn't count, she says," he replied.
"Well, what about the time you took her to the kitchens for a picnic?"
"Also, doesn't count."
"How?" Sirius asked incredulously.
"She said that since there were other people there, it doesn't count. She said, and I quote," he held up his fingers to add quotation marks, "'a date is between two people, not five', end quote," he said, imitating her voice squeakily for what she had said.
Sirius laughed at his impression, and thought it sounded exactly like her. "Alright. And I'm guessing the first Hogsmeade trip doesn't count either since you two had to show the third years around?" he asked looking at James as he nodded. "Well, I guess you've got to take her on a date," he stated simply.
James groaned and dropped his head forward to stare at his hands. "I'm awful at dates," he grumbled and Sirius chuckled. "You know I am! Remember fourth year with Vance? Bloody awful."
"At least she won't forget it," Sirius mused optimistically.
"Yeah, but I don't want Lily to not forget our first date for the same reason," he moaned.
Sirius patted him on the back consolingly and chuckled at the memory of the James' first (and only) ever date. In fourth year, James had taken Emmeline Vance on a date and it had ended with James stuck in a ditch covered in mud and something else that smelled, a fuming Emmeline covered in Butterbeer and leaves stuck in her hair, and Sirius, Remus and Peter crying with laughter. No one had agreed to an official date with James since then.
"We'll help you," Sirius offered and James looked at him hopefully. "We'll sort something out. It won't be that bad with Evans. She actually wants to go on a date with you! And, you actually like her, so… And, she likes you. I'm sure a bad date won't scare her off," he said encouragingly. James quirked a brow but Sirius didn't falter. He truly believed that Lily Evans genuinely liked James.
"Potter, Black," the fifth year seeker for Gryffindor asked quietly. James and Sirius looked at her expectantly. "Your friends are at the door," she informed. They nodded and stood up. James swayed a bit from head rush and, once he'd regained his balance, he strolled over to the door with Sirius. They stepped out to find Lily, Remus and Peter.
"We can't stay long," Lily began. "But we thought we'd come and say good luck." She hugged James for a long while. Apparently their little spat had been put aside now James knew what he'd done.
"Yeah, sorry we're a bit late," Peter said a little guiltily. "I had to find this book but I couldn't. Bit of a fart-on trying to find it," he explained.
"It's fine," James mumbled through the red waterfall of hair. Sirius vaguely heard her muttering good wishes into his ear but didn't listen too hard.
"Did you get what you needed done?" Sirius asked, turning his attention to Remus.
"Yep, all finished," he grinned.
Sirius wanted to ask what Remus was really writing in his book but decided against it. "Good," he said instead. He had a feeling that whatever he was doing was related to that.
"How's he been?" Remus asked, nodding his head at James whose arms were still wrapped tightly around Lily.
Sirius shrugged. "Fine, I suppose. Bit neurotic but what's new?" he joked and Remus chuckled.
The seeker popped her head through the small gap between the door and doorway and hissed, "Potter! We've got to go soon!" She pulled the door open to stand and point at her wrist – who was the owner of no watch – to indicate it was nearly time.
James let Lily go and nodded confidently. She disappeared back through the door and he turned back to Lily and the others.
"You ready?" he asked Sirius, gasping in an excited breath.
Sirius shrugged nonchalantly and nodded. "Are you?" he asked grinning slightly.
"We should go and get our seats," Peter said. "Good luck. You're gonna smash it," Peter said, nodding encouragingly. He patted the taller dark haired boys on the arms and trotted his way up the stairs to their seats.
"Good luck!" Lily squealed, the excited atmosphere clearly affecting her as well, as she hugged James again and gave him a peck on the cheek. James grinned dumbly at her as she left and bounced up the stairs after Peter.
Sirius and Remus stood and stared at James. Sirius shot him a significant look that clearly said 'go away, I need to do something' which James picked up on.
"I'll go and give them one last pep talk," he said hastily and turned to the door to go in.
"Good luck, James. I believe your plan is really fool proof," Remus said, earning him a mad grin and a wink from James before said boy disappeared into the changing rooms.
"So…" Sirius said a couple of moments later.
"So," Remus replied more confidently. "I should go and get my seat."
Sirius smirked when he noticed Remus made no move to go. He looked around briskly to ensure no one was around before he dragged Remus in by his scarf and kissed him thoroughly. He didn't much care if anyone saw as their relationship was hardly a secret. But it wasn't exactly public, either.
Sirius moved his spare hand – the one that wasn't currently clasping a Gryffindor scarf – to tangle itself in Remus' short, choppy hair while Remus wound arms around Sirius' waist to pull him closer. Expert lips pressed and slid together eliciting a moan from Sirius (since he had been waiting since that morning to get one little kiss from his boyfriend) and making Remus smile a little smugly.
Eventually Sirius pulled away when he remembered he had a Quidditch game to play and that James could only talk for so long before they had to go.
"Right," Remus panted, somewhat exerted from the kiss, and swallowed almost audibly. "I really should go now," he murmured against Sirius' lips.
Sirius grinned and planted one last peck on Remus lips before he let him go. Remus stepped back and shoved his hands in his pocket a little shyly.
Remus took a steadying breath and looked at Sirius. "You're evil," he said grinning. Sirius shrugged. Remus licked his lips. "Right, I'm going," he said seriously. "Good luck." He walked towards the steps that lead up to where their friends sat.
"I love you," Sirius called to him as he watched Remus walk away.
"I know," Remus said, not turning around, before he jogged up the stairs.
Sirius sighed and leaned against the wall. Not long after, James peeked his head out of the door and grinned. He opened the door fully and the rest of the team scurried out of the changing rooms, enlivened and ready to go. They stood in their pairs and James and Sirius made their way to the front of the line as the Gryffindor team prepared to go out onto the pitch.
"James," Sirius said quietly, staring ahead.
James frowned and turned to look at it. It wasn't often Sirius called him James anymore. "Yeah?" he replied. "What's up?"
Sirius coughed uncomfortably but ploughed on. "You remember a few days ago? When I wanted to tell a certain someone a certain something?" he hinted vaguely but he knew James knew what he was talking about.
"Yes…?" James waited for Sirius to elaborate.
"Well," he began nervously.
"He still hasn't said it?" James guessed correctly.
Sirius nodded. Sirius had told Remus only a few days earlier that he not only loved him but was also in love with him. But, as James had guessed, Remus hadn't said it back yet. Sirius was beginning to wonder if he ever would. If he even felt the same way. He hadn't talked to Remus about it because it was quite an awkward subject to bring up. He couldn't just walk up to Remus and say 'Why haven't you said you love me?' could he? It was a bit tactless and Sirius wasn't entirely sure of what the answer would be or whether it'd be a good one.
"Shit," James muttered. "Maybe he's just working his way to it," he reasoned. "It's only been a few days. Give him time."
Sirius nodded and smiled weakly. "Yeah, okay," he replied quietly. James was right, as he surprisingly was quite often. Sirius did need to give him time; it had only been a few days, after all. Maybe he was waiting for some reason; for something special? Sirius shrugged and smiled more confidently. He was certain Remus wouldn't hurt him; Remus had promised. He just needed to give him time, he decided. "You're right," he agreed more positively.
Minutes later, the curtains opened and the Gryffindor Quidditch team walked out proudly onto the pitch to the loud, almost deafening noise of cheers and chants from around the stadium.
H+H+H+H+H
Sirius winced as the Gryffindor common room erupted in cheers once again at something James had shouted from atop one of the tables. The noise was so loud it had made even Sirius wince!
They had won the game within three hours, but it had been damn close. They would've lost had Horncastle not caught the Snitch. As expected, James' plan worked brilliantly which only served to make him more ecstatic.
They had been celebrating for a while. When the fourth years and younger had left to go up to their dorms (Lily and James had made them, being Head Girl and Boy), the fifth years and above began drinking. They had been drinking for nearly an hour and most of the students in the common room – some were from Ravenclaw too – were at least beginning to get tipsy.
Sirius had, quite surprisingly (to some people), not drank that much. He'd had a shot of Firewhiskey (courtesy of Marlene McKinnon) and a bottle of Butterbeer. He was only onto his second one and he was feeling quite content. He grinned as he looked around the common room from where he stood just next to the Portrait Hole.
James stood on one of the study desks – one that wasn't covered in food prepared by the House-Elves or alcohol taken from Merlin-knows-where – while Lily sat on the couch watching him carefully. Other students gathered around him to listen to his tales since, as Remus had put it once, James could make a story about washing dishes interesting.
Peter stood by the food table chatting happily with Mary Macdonald, a fellow Gryffindor in the year below. Marlene was still handing out shots left, right and centre with the help of her best friend Dorcas Meadowes. And Remus was—
"Congratulations," a soft voice said from behind Sirius pulling him from his observations and making him jump. He spun around to find Remus' grinning face. "On your win," Remus clarified and stepped forward to stand at Sirius' side.
Sirius waited until his heartrate slowed to an acceptable pace before he answered. "Thanks." He took a sip from his bottle.
"Here you go," Remus said holding out a square piece of paper. He held it out and sipped from his own drink, looking out at the party.
Sirius looked from the white square to Remus before he took it gingerly and inspected it. On the front it said: For Sirius Orion Black. "What's this?" he asked, frowning at it.
"It's an envelope," Remus stated obviously.
Sirius rolled his eyes and looked at Remus. "I know that. I mean, what is it?"
Remus finally looked at him and Sirius thought he saw a twinkle in his hazel-amber eyes. "Read it," he said simply before he moved away and sat next to Lily on the couch.
Sirius gazed after him before it returned to the paper he held in his hands. He slowly made his way to the stone steps that led to the seventh year boy's dorms. He placed his bottle on the edge of a table next to the stairs before he walked up them. As he slowly made his way up the stairs, he opened the envelope and took out its contents. After a small inspection, he realised it was a letter. He recognised the tidy, neat writing as Remus'. He stopped at the second off top step and sat down to read it there on the stairwell.
Reasons Why I Love Padfoot and Why He Has To Know
Dear Padfoot, I am aware that this is slightly late but I needed it to be right. I have wanted to tell you, so many times, but I thought it best to explain this way. I think you know why. So, this is a list of things I love about you.
1. I love your smile. It's the first thing I notice about you. I've noticed that, whenever you smile, it makes everyone around you smile too. It's infectious, I suppose. And, as cheesy as it sounds, your smile just lights up any room you're in. Just by smiling or cracking jokes, you can make people in even the foulest of moods smile too; it's quite a gift.
You have many different smiles, but the one I think I love most is the one you have when you're looking at me. You may not know this, but there is a smile that you have reserved for me too. I used to think that it was your normal smile (since I had always seen it) but I have been told by a couple of people that it only appears when I'm around.
It's a simple, small upturn of your lips. But to me, it seems like a real smile. Not forced, natural. It's unrestrained. It often seems uncontrollable; I don't think even you know you do it.
I've seen it many times – whenever we're talking or just together. But I've also seen it when we aren't together. It's there when I catch you staring at me in class (when you think I don't notice that you're staring). It always seems to be there. It makes me feel as though you are truly happy.
When you look at me and smile that way (or in the devilish way you do when you've had a great idea for a prank), my chest flutters and my fingers tingle; it's an odd sensation but not unpleasant. And I blush! Me, blush? Only you can do that.
2. I love your eyes; this is the second thing I notice about you. They're deep and emotional. Depending on what mood you're in, they can change colour. You cannot hide your emotions well, which can be a good thing. Whenever I look into your eyes, I instantly know how much you're affected by something. Your eyes never fail to send shivers down my spine.
Your eyes go a stormy shade when you're angry or passionate about something. So intense with emotion, it can often be intimidating. But, it never fails to make me shudder; to know you can be so serious about something.
They go a sort of cloudy shade when you're jovial or interested in something. Or when you find something truly hilarious; I think I love this shade most. You're so concentrated and you actually seem happy to have something to focus your attention on. I often see these eyes when you are planning something mischievous or when you're talking about something you're so ardently fascinated by. Or when you tell God-awful jokes.
When Padfoot comes along, your eyes go slightly bluer. Not entirely noticeable unless you're paying close attention to it. It's a dark blue, mixed in with the grey. It's rather comforting whenever I get to see Padfoot, as you well know. You have brought Padfoot out when you think I need him.
I love your eyes. Grey orbs that express deeper emotion than you often let out. You cannot hide behind your indifferent mask when you look at me.
3. I love your laugh. It's amazing. It's hard to describe but if I had to, I'd say it's like a bark. You never control it – and nor would I want you to either. It's truthful. I love hearing it. I'd never tire of it. It's contagious. Whenever you're laughing, I can't help myself.
I think the one I love most is probably the laugh you make when you've made or heard a really bad joke/pun. They're awful, truly, but you always find them hilarious. And I end up laughing when you tell them because you find them so damn funny.
I think I here is probably a good place to say that I love your sense of humour. I've known you for many years and, over those years, I've noticed that your sense of humour is quite diverse. You can find the bright side in any situation; you always seem ready to crack a joke. And you find awful jokes hysterical, for some reason. You're so quick-witted. It's rather amazing how quick you can make a joke. I think even Prongs would agree that it's an amazing feat.
4. Your voice is magnificent. It's calm and husky and, quite often, it sends shivers down my spine. Whenever you tell a story, I'm always interested. Even if I've heard it a million times before. If you're telling it, I could listen forever.
And, just before a certain time of the month, your voice is one of the few that doesn't grate on my nerves. In a strange way, it sort of soothes my monthly agitation.
You have many different tones. There's one that is soft but demanding (a good thing for the job you plan to go into – Auror – since people will need a strong but gentle voice to listen to).
You have a certain tone you use when you're being protective over your friends. It's low and full of warning; it's quite exhilarating, I think.
I must say, though, that I particularly love the voice you attain when we're pranking. It's smug (unbelievably so) but it has reason to be. They are quite brilliant pranks most of the time.
There is a certain tone I don't like. When you're extremely upset and you get over agitated. Sometimes you can get so angry that you don't know what you're saying and I don't like that. I tend to try my best to get you out of that level of anger.
5. Your touch. It creates a sense of safety and security. Honestly, sometimes I just love it when you hug me. Or hand me something. Or after our monthly excursions when you just brush my hair away from my face. Simple touches such as those can bring about butterflies in the pit of my stomach. It's distracting and addictive but I don't mind. It's a welcome distraction.
6. I find your confidence and optimism quite refreshing. As strange as it sounds, and while I can find it incredibly annoying, I love how confident you are. You're so sure of yourself and it makes people believe in you too. Sometimes it graduates into arrogance but not so much anymore.
As for your optimism, I find it wonderful. I am aware that I can be pessimistic but I think your optimism keeps me at a 'realist level'. It's wonderful how much faith you have in the world. It's quite endearing, really. You can always find the silver lining. There should be more people in the world who are as positive as you.
7. Your strength is admirable. Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. Yes, you are physically strong (I mean, you're a Beater, it's kind of in the job description) and, believe me, I do love that about you but I also love how strong you are in your mind.
To have been through all you have gone through and still be so damn endearing, and positive, and fun to be around, takes a truly strong person. You're still a smartarse and bloody hilarious, and I can't help but be in awe by you.
8. You're also incredibly intelligent. I know you try to hide it, but I've seen your test marks. You're up there with me and Lily. I honestly don't know why you downplay it. I think people ought to know just how smart Sirius Black really is. You also have a way with words – when you don't think too hard about it and just let them flow. I've seen evidence of how good you are with words. You really ought to give yourself more credit.
9. You're so loyal and kind. I know it's only your friends who get to see that side of you. If only more people got to see that caring side of you; maybe they wouldn't think you're so apathetic all of the time. I love how protective you are over your friends. It's wonderful to know you're there if they need you.
I know it's stupid, but I'm glad you listen to me. Actually listen. About what career I want, about how I think there should be more polite people in the world; you even listen to my stupid rants on things you don't even read or care about. And you know my best subjects too.
Just an FYI: I like listening to your rants too.
10. You're beautiful. You truly are. From your, for lack of a better word, stunning looks to your marvellous personality. I know you have your insecurities but I am so proud of you and how you don't let them control you. I love that, despite popular belief, you try to see the best in everyone.
I love your eyes and your smile, and your laugh, and your freakily soft hair, and your strength (mind, hands, body, arms, etc.), and your dangerous rebellious fashion sense.
Honestly, our fashions are completely different to each other but I think they complement each other in a way. They sort of personify the saying of 'opposites attract'.
Padfoot, I am almost 100% certain that if I trust you with my heart, that you will not break it. If you do, I'm not going to lie, I'll be broken. And I'd be so disappointed in myself. But, I'm going to do it anyways. Sometimes you just have to take a chance and damn the consequences. What is it you always say?
"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all."
You're the only person that can make me feel human. You can make me feel alive and inexplicably happy. No one else; just you.
I know you have your problems and your insecurities but I really do believe you're strong enough to deal with them. I agree that we're perfect for one another; we both know what it is like to be judged (you being a Black, me with my 'furry little problem'). We're both just a couple of messed up puppies, aren't we? Lily described us as that the other day. I quite like the description – but don't tell her. She can't know that I liked her soppy description of us.
So, why should Padfoot know?
You just need to know. I'm a little bit ashamed that I've waited so long to tell you but I wanted it to be done right. I wanted you to feel the same way I did when you told me, you know? You can make me feel as though I'm the only one that matters to you. You told me you loved me, and for the past few days, you've said it at least three times. Each time I've wanted to tell you that I love you too, but I couldn't. I needed this to be right. I hope you understand that and forgive me for waiting so long.
I know that in retrospect, a few days isn't that long, but it is when it's about something important. And this – you – are important.
Truthfully, in reality, some days you're the reason I get up. Especially after full moons when I'm the lowest I've ever felt, I keep going. For you.
This is scary. Unbelievably, unequivocally scary. Terrifying really, but I'm going to do it. Because you trusted me, and I trust you.
Sirius Orion Black, I am in love with you. Please be careful with my heart as I am trying to be with yours.
R. J. Lupin
Sirius closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He had shifted slightly, so that his back was leaning against the stairwell wall, while he was reading. Eyes closed still, to stop the burn of tears, he tilted his head back so it rested against the stone wall.
Let it be known that Sirius Black did not cry often. He had been taught not to as a child. His parents had ingrained many lessons in him and his brother which, luckily he moved past and realised they were untrue. However, he couldn't remove all of the stupid lessons he'd been taught from birth. They were so deeply ingrained that they were hard to eliminate completely.
As a child, he'd been taught that tears were a sign of weakness, and that Blacks were not weak. Therefore Blacks did not cry. In his life, from the age of four and up, he had cried approximately five times. A few of those times were because of Remus (their incident in fifth year accounting for two of the times – after it happened and when Remus forgave him).
But, here he was, sitting on the freezing steps of the Gryffindor Tower, fighting back tears that threatened to fall because of Remus. Again. Because Remus loved him too. Because Remus trusted him 100% again. To him, it was the best feeling he'd ever felt in his life.
As he sat on the second off top step, he was vaguely aware of the cold bite on his backside from the cold stone but he didn't much care at that moment. He was busy revelling in the feeling of contentment. Now all he needed was to hear the words from a certain Gryffindor's mouth. But he couldn't move. His weak knees wouldn't allow it. So there he sat, alone in the stairwell, hoping Remus would come looking for him.
H+H+H+H+H
Minutes or hours passed, Sirius didn't know, before someone turned up at the bottom of the staircase. Sirius, now more or less in control of his emotions, steeled himself to talk. He folded the letter up, stuffed it in the envelope carefully and pocketed it before he cleared his throat and shouted down to the shadow that loomed on the steps from the light in the common room.
"Evans?" he called. He knew it was her, she had quite a distinctive shape since she was tiny and slim. Most of the Gryffindor girls were fairly tall. Sirius could also see flaming hair and had assumed it was her. He was right, anyhow.
Lily whipped around and peered up at Sirius. "Black?" she questioned hazily. Sirius reckoned she was probably more than a little tipsy.
"Yes," he answered.
"What're you doing? James has been looking for you for ages," she slurred slightly, stepping up on the bottom step.
"I'll see him in a minute. Listen, Evans. I need you to do me a favour." She nodded and took another wobbly step up. "I need you to get Remus for me," he said sternly. "Inconspicuously," he added, noticing her wobbling on the step. If she shouted for him, it wouldn't do any good for him since James would probably get him to tell the common room a story with him.
"Okay," Lily replied clearly. She could clearly sense the urgency in Sirius' voice as she jumped down the steps and shot into action. Moments later she reappeared at the bottom of the stairs with Remus in tow. "Here you go," she whispered loudly. "I'll make sure no one comes up," she assured as she tottered away.
Sirius stood up shakily and waited for Remus at the top. Remus stared after Lily for a moment before he hesitantly made his way up the stairs to where Sirius stood. He took the space opposite Sirius on the same step and looked down at his shoes, biting his lip nervously. Eventually he looked up at Sirius apprehensively. As though he was worried about something.
He looked as though he were about to say something but Sirius couldn't help himself and he cut off the lycanthrope as he launched himself at and kissed him hardly on the mouth. Desperately, he grasped Remus' jumper in one hand and slid the other one to entwine in the soft brown locks of Remus' hair.
Sirius quickly morphed the kiss into a gentler, softer and passionate kiss as Remus moved his hands to rest of Sirius sides. After a few heated moments, he pulled back, panting heavily and rested his head against Remus'. He kept his eyes closed for another moment before he opened them and locked eyes with Remus.
The air was tense and smelt of a mixture of Remus and Sirius and alcohol. Their breaths mixed together but neither minded as it created a sweet aroma. Sirius pulled back slightly, enough that he could see Remus' face clearly rather than an up-close blur as it had been seconds earlier, and moved his hand from Remus' hair down to rest where his other one was still grasping the jumper.
Remus swallowed inaudibly and kept his eyes trained on Sirius. "You okay?" he asked tentatively. Sirius nodded faintly. "What was that for?"
"I think you know," Sirius replied. "When did you write it?"
"I started the day after the full moon," Remus said. "I wanted to tell you sooner but, well, as I wrote I needed it to be perfect."
"Did you just get it finished today?" Remus nodded. "Was that what you were doing this morning? We both know that your 'it's an experiment' excuse was bullshit," Sirius raised his brows and smirked as Remus chuckled.
"Yes. I was making adjustments to it. I wanted it to be done for today, just in case," Remus smiled sheepishly.
"Do I really watch you? In classes and stuff?" Sirius asked curiously. He hadn't really realised he did it so often that Remus noticed.
Remus shrugged and nodded. "Yep," he answered. "Sometimes you catch yourself and you look away but other times you just watch. Avidly," he smirked.
Sirius groaned. "I sound like such a creep – watching you all the time."
"Yeah," Remus agreed. "But you're my creep," he grinned.
"Will you say it?" Sirius asked suddenly, surprising even himself.
Remus slowly nodded. "Okay," he said quietly. He swallowed again and squared himself up in preparation – what he was preparing for, Sirius didn't know. Rejection, maybe? "Sirius Orion Black, I love you. I am undeniably in love with you."
Sirius grinned. "I know," he replied cockily.
Remus rolled his eyes affectionately but couldn't avoid the grin the crept upon his face. "I'm sorry it took so long to tell you," he apologised a little guiltily. "I just… wanted it to be right."
"I know," Sirius said tentatively and let out a small sigh of contentment before he moved his hand up to tangle in Remus' hair again and pulled him into a long, loving kiss. It was different – a good different. The type of different that showed there was equally returned love. Remus pulled him closer so their chests were almost flush against one another's apart from Sirius' hand clasped like a vice onto his jumper.
Sirius broke the kiss and pulled back to stare at Remus. Remus groaned at the loss of lip contact and opened his eyes. "I promise I'll try not to break it. Your heart," Sirius promised sincerely. "I don't want to disappoint you."
"You won't," Remus assured. "I'm sure you won't." He smiled encouragingly and caught Sirius' lips again in a chaste kiss. "I love you," he added as he pulled back.
"I love you, too," Sirius replied happily.
"Ahem," someone sounded from the bottom of the stairs. The two Marauders looked down to see a smug James Potter and a knowing, if not slightly guilty, Lily Evans stood there.
"Sorry, he got past somehow," Lily shrugged carelessly. Her smudged makeup suggested a thorough snog was all it took to 'get past somehow'.
"I need your help," James said conversationally, one arm draped around Lily's shoulders, the other holding him steady against the wall.
Sirius groaned and threw his head back in exasperation. "With what?"
"I need you to help me tell the tale of 'A Million Feathers, 5 gallons Syrup, and a Seriously Blushing McGonagall'," he stated. "You can finish that," he waved his hand vaguely at them, "later."
Sirius groaned again and Remus chuckled at his reluctance to leave the heat of him. "We'll finish this later. Promise," Remus whispered. He pushed Sirius away gently and Sirius reluctantly allowed it, letting go and stepping back.
"Alright," he mumbled. "We better." He looked down at James and Lily and rose his voice so they could hear him clearly. "We're coming. Be down in a sec." James nodded, satisfied, and he and Lily walked away. He turned back to Remus. "Room of Requirement? After the party?" he suggested.
Remus grinned and nodded. Sirius nodded once back and quickly pecked Remus on the lips before he took a deep breath and trotted down the stairs into the common room to entertain the masses. He couldn't actually believe how happy he was.
He'd thought for a long time that happiness was unattainable for him. But here he was, quite possibly the most content student in Hogwarts School, and it was all because one person loved him back.
Quote: "Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all" is by Helen Keller, The Open Door.
Note: That's it. Finished. It took a little while but I'm happy with how it turned out. I am sorry it's so long (9328 words). I really wasn't expecting it to be but, oh well. I suppose it makes sense; I mean, Remus was asleep for most of his hahaha
Note 2: Also, I thought I'd get this posted since I'm off on holiday for 10 days and then, when I come back, I'm back at Uni! So, I don't know when the next story'll be posted but I'll try to as soon as is feasible.
Thanks for reading! =)