"AYYY! It's the Pizza Party Podcast, who are all you people?" asked a lonely Mexican-American Pizza to his colleagues over Skype through a snowball.

"Hey it's Jim," an aged former rapper now movie critic, Jim of the Nuckforce replied in his echoey house.

"And I'm Izzy!" an animator added enthusiastically.

"And I'm Nolan and I ruin everything," Nolan finished, the jadedness showing off in full swing.

The four animation fanatics discussed many things with each other, how the animaiton and film industry was killing itself, how the video games they loved weren't all that great, and Izzy and Nolan gushed about Steven Universe and Sym-Bionic Titan while Jim had a philosophical dicussion with himself about films.

Meanwhile, Pan sat back listening to his friends talk about the things they loved. He looked on his desk a framed picture of himself and Raven that he photoshopped.

"Oh, Pan should we get to the questions?" asked Izzy, reminding the Pizza that he had a podcast to do.

"Oh right! If you have a question please leave a comment in this video and title it, question. And our first question is, Question. Why can't we just email you questions as opposed to just leaving comments, and we're just going to ignore that," Pan threw the comment into his paper shredder, "Anyways, question."

The podcast went on to many tangents and to many good laughs, "Alright, I better stop laughing or I'm gonna get a cramp! Pan, what's the last question?" Jim asked, holding his side.

"Alright, here I got it. Question, Pan. Have you ever dated a goth girl?" Pan read out loud, "Also this person spammed the question forty-three times. And the answer is no," Pan answered, the other three noticing a change in his voice, "Anyway! Who were you people?"

"I was Jim,"

"I'm Izzy,"

"And I was Nolan,"

"The next video is going to... goodbye every pony!" Pan ended the recording and the skype call and wandered through his room looking at all the goth girl pictures he had. They were all so beautiful to him, but he knew that none of them would love him as he did.

He wandered into the streets as the Vasquez Twins screeched into his microphone, lamenting over goth girls that wouldn't date him.

"Man, if only there was one goth girl that would go out with me," Pan lamented. He picked up his cell phone and look at the dark screen, "I told myself I would never do this, but desperate times call for desperate measures."

While sitting on the curb, Pan made a profile on a popular dating site. When everything was set up he clicked aprove and sat waiting for someone to message him.

"Hmm, maybe I should change my bio to something that's not this," Pan thought to himself, looking at his bio which read, "GOTH GURLS! SMEXX THIS PIZZA UP!"

Before he could do such a thing, he received a message from another user. Half expecting it to be a fan requesting him to Ed Edd n Eddy, he clicked on it. There he saw a very attractive goth girl by the username xxxbloodygothicrose666xxx had messaged him.

"Hey, Pizza Boi! Heard you like goth pussy! Well I live in Seattle, and if you want this piece of this gothic ass, CUM, to me bby ;)."

Under any other circumstance, Pan would have chalked that up as someone trying to troll him. But at that time, Pan was desperate for some goth booty, and one had offered it to him on a silver platter! Problem, Pan lived in *NAME AND ADDRESS WITHHELD* and she lived in Washington.

"To the Rebel Taxi!" Pan shouted and ran into his parent's garage, entering his high tech, state of the art, taxi car with cupholders. With a turn of his key he drove off from the garage, "AW YEAH! Seattle here I come!"

"What are you doing in Seattle?" Nolan came out from the backseat.

"Nolan? What are you doing here?" Pan asked as he drove out of *NAME AND ADDRESS WITHHELD.*

"I've been living in the Rebel Taxi for the past few months. Now why are we going to Seattle?" the Sym-Bionic obsessed man asked.

"I've got a goth girl with my name on it! And I'm gonna go spank it!" Pan declared.

"Oh fuck, we should go pick up Jim and Izzy!"

"Wait, why should we pick up Jim and Izzy?" Pan asked.

The two of them looked towards sombreromoustache, the shitlord writer of this story who was also inexplicably in the Rebel Taxi, "Look guys, I just write this story, I can't explain or justify why you guys do it."

"Fuck off, shitlord," Nolan kicked him out of the taxi and onto the freeway.

And then, Pan's journey to get laid began. Nolan came along because he was obligated to do it at this point. Jim sat in his apartment and Izzy was gushing about Steven Universe on tumblr. Soon, the four would converge and they would travel together to get Pan laid!

And yes this is the plot of this story. Brace yourselves, I plan to make it a trilogy.