John Winchester was shocked to find himself suddenly in a rundown hotel room. What the Hell? How did he get here? Where was he anyway? Some hotel room obviously but... John inner questioning stopped when a voice echoed through the hotel room. "Sammy. Please. What wrong?" Dean John throught that was Dean. Looking around John saw a five year old Dean sitting on the bed with a baby Sam beside him. Little Sam wasn't crying he was he gasping. John moved to check his youngest son out to find he couldn't move. "Sammy." Dean called again. "I'm going to call Dad Sammy." Dean crawled across the bed and grabbed the phone off the nightstand. "Daddy. Something wrong with Sammy. Yes Daddy. I will Daddy." Dean said before putting the phone back down and crawling back over to Sam. "Daddy will be here in a few hours Sammy." Little Sam just kept gasping for breath. John was shocked he was right here but could do nothing. His little baby couldn't breath and Dean was so young. Why could he not move and why had Dean called him when him was right here.
"Your not really here John. This is just a memory. Gabriel's memory actually. This is the frist time Gabriel had to step in and save Sam's life, but it wasn't the last. It's time you realize what your obsession with that demon did to your sons." Loki said from where the trickster was sitting leaning against the wall opposite the bed the boys were on. "I'm going to make you see every time Gabriel had to step in." The sence around them flickered before changing into another rundown hotel. John looked around for the trickster to find him no where to be found. For the next only God knows how long John found himself watching as Dean tried to take care of Sam. John lost track of how many times Sam almost died and would of if the archangel hadn't stepped in and saved his life if the trickster was right and this was all Gabriel's memories.
John found himself in another rundown hotel room looking around him found one thing different form the last dozen or so times he appeared in different rooms. The boys were older. Sam looked to be around 3 years old and Dean was around seven. It looked like Dean was trying to cook something. When the seven year old's wrist caught the handle of the pot that was on the stove and dumped it onto the floor. Dean grapped a towel and started cleaning it up. Sam had wandered over calling "Dee. Dee." Dean looked up before using one hand to keep Sam from stepping in the hot mac and cheese while the other blindly put the towel onto the counter only for the end to fall into the flames on the open stovetop. John realized what this was. He remembered it. Coming back to the hotel to find the whole place in flames. Dean clinching Sam to him his oldest son's arms covered in burns.
The sence around him flickered again only this time he didn't find himself in another rundown hotel room but in the middle of a park. Sam had to be about six in this memory as Dean looked to be nine. The two of them were climbing up a tree. John saw the branch Sam just climbed onto start to bend before it cracked breaking. "SAMMY!" Dean yelled as Sam plummeted toward the ground. John tried to move. To run to Sam. To do anything as Sam hit the ground with a thud. Dean was climbing down the tree as fast as he could but John couldn't move. "This wasn't your doing but that fall did almost kill him. Gabriel was almost to late to save him this time." Loki said form where he was sitting on the grass a few feet form where John was standing.
"I... I..." John stuttered.
"You what? You didn't mean for all this to happen. Yeah I bet you didn't, but it did and those boys paid the price." Loki replied.
"You keep saying that. I get I messed up raising them. I know that, but watching this isn't going to help me make everything up to them." John said.
"So you want to make things up to them." Loki said.
"Of course I do." John said.
"Then prove it." Loki replied.
"How would you like me to do that when I'm suck here." John hissed. The trickster just smiled and snapped.