author's notes:

this is my first time writing a spideypool fic!! definitely more to come in future, my head's poppin' with ideas! my writing's a bit rusty but i hope you like the story all the same. enjoy!!

(bracketed in italic) stands for his white box dialogue

(bracketed in bold) stands for his yellow box dialogue

chapter one

At the center of some top secret HYDRA building(location unknown because Deadpool refuses to disclose the information, something about "for your safety, folks!"), Deadpool stands with his guns out("no pun intended," he adds), surrounded by a large, frightened group of HYDRA scientists.

"Normally, I don't mind people kidnapping me and strapping me to a chair to experiment on me -I appreciate all things kinky- , but it's Monday and you've made me miss my Golden Girls episode," Deadpool explains as he twirls the guns in his hands.

All of the scientists huddle together, frozen.

"Now, not to worry, boys! I'm not angry. Christmas is coming! And ho ho HO am I in a giving mood!" he singsongs as he starts to fire.

One by one, the scientists drop dead.

BANG!

"One for you."

BANG!

"One for you..."

It isn't long before he's down to the last scientist, who has been trying to escape. "Oh no you don't, bud," he says as he turns to him.

"I've got a special one just for you...for fucking with my beautiful face during your little play time!"

BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG! clickclickclick

(Fuck me!)

(Told you you should've brought more ammo)

(Shut up.)

(You shut up!)

"Now, now you two...play nicely. And don't you worry about a thing, because Daddy's got these two babies to back him up." he chided playfully, gesturing to his two weapons on his back.

(...We knew that.)

Deadpool unsheathes his two gleaming katanas and begins a slaughter spree as he tries to get out of the building.

The mercenary eventually gets to an elevator and goes in, pressing the button for the first floor. The doors close and calming music begins to play through the elevator's speakers. He hums to it while looking at the screen in front of him, which shows the floor numbers changing as it progressively rises to the first floor.

The elevator emits a 'ding!' sound to signal it reaching the first floor, and Deadpool lets out a small grunt.

"Maximum effort," he says, positioning himself to fight as the doors open.

-

"Jesus, what a mess..." a voice mutters.

Deadpool whips his head around to face his unknown visitor.

It's Iron Man.

"Holy fuck knuckles... It's Robert Downey Jr! Must be my lucky day," Deadpool exclaims, facepalming.

"Who? "

Deadpool chooses to ignore the comment.

"FRIDAY! Send in some reinforcements! Maybe call up the Justice League, see if they're available... We need a clean up on aisle three!" he yelled, joking about the presently messy and bloody room, which earned a grunt of annoyance from Iron Man.

"So, Tin Can..." The mercenary continues as he straps his katanas back onto his back and places his guns into their holsters. "To what do I owe this pleasure? I mean, the last time we talked, you weren't exactly...happy to see me."

(That is an understatement.)

(Shhh!)

Iron Man walks forward, removing his helmet to reveal the billionaire's face.

"We want to hire you."

(Uh-oh.)

(Uh-oh.)