Baby, did you forget to take your meds?
"Sooo …where's Shizuru?"
At last, the cursed question.
"What? Oh um…"
Kuwabara had practiced the answer a million times. He had spent countless hours imagining the conversation surrounding his sister; well rehearsed answers. Each contained a clever way to deviate from the topic quickly. Just enough to satisfy, not enough to inform.
'Shit,' he had already been quiet for too long.
"You know," He began, "She's uh… she's fine." Kuwabara inwardly grimaced.
Why did nothing ever happen like you imagine it?
Kuwabara sat alongside the familiar faces from his teenage years. It was a like an old Renkai Tentai family reunion. All were sitting outside Genkai's temple around an oak table. Polish was so infused in the wooden table that its added reflection made the day seem even brighter. Strands of Botan's blue hair kept getting caught on the sides of her lips as she swirled her finger in the icing of the cupcake she waseating. The other conversations had been dying down, and the reconnecting group found less and less in common to talk about. Kuwabara knew it was only a matter of time before his sister's absence, conspicuous yet nominal, became the subject of conversation.
"Oh, I was hoping to see her, it's been so long," Botan said, her pout visible through her wafting blue hair.
"You won't see her. You can't see her ever again,"
Where's Shizuru?
Yeah, hey, where is she?
"Yeah well, you know Shizuru," Kuwabara's mind was racing,.
He was sure everyone was looking at him. He brought forth what was meant to be a rueful smile. Kuwabara panicked; convinced that they could see through his calm façade, yet no one interrogated him further. He picked at a blemish on his wrist that slid open revealing raw new skin underneath.
Quiet chatter commenced in the background. Keiko was talking with Yukina.
Ah, Yukina. Kuwabara watched her, the image of pulchritude. Her laugh was like the shimmering of bells in an ice storm,and her lovely icy hair caressed her shoulders, framing her face perfectly.
Kuwabara watched her from a far, but looked away from her. It was too painful, knowing that…
Where's Shizuru?
Yeah where is she?
I know where she is.
…knowing that he could never be with her. His heart pulsed painfully.
Where's Shizuru?
Yeah where is she?
I know where she is.
Botan furtively glanced to where Kuwabara's attention was focused. She dipped her finger again in the icing of her cupcake, as if fishing for conversation.
Nudging Kuwabara, Botan winked decided to try her luck once more,
"I haven't seen you talk to Yukina-chan this entire time Kuwabara! I thought you'd be flowering her with attention!"
Kuwabara stiffened. He may have practiced the conversation surrounding his sister from every angle, but this he had not even scrapped the surface. It was too painful for him to think about. Keep a distance. He must keep a permanent distance. She could not, by any means necessary, come to love him. He would not allow it.
Where's Shizuru?
Yes where is she?
I know where she is.
She's never coming back.
She's been missing for weeks.
At this point Yusuke had come to sit down at the table next to Kuwabara. He slapped Kuwabara playfully on the back.
"Hey guys what's going on?"
"I was just inquiring as to what power in the three worlds has kept Kuwabara away from Yukina-chan,"
Kuwabara had been thinking rapidly since she first asked the question. He picked more ardently at the blemish under the table away from noticing eyes. He tried desperately to think of an acceptable excuse, one that would close the conversation permanently. He could not be asked again. In time he wasn't sure how he would answer….
Where's Shizuru?
Yes where is she?
I know where she is.
She's never coming back.
She's been missing for weeks.
It runs in the family.
The only reason he had come to Genkai's in the first place was to maintain the facade of normalcy. He picked harder at the blemish, as he felt his stomach clench involuntarily.
Solution, a solution…
"No one can know,"
"Not talk to Yukina? You feeling OK, buddy?
A solution… a solution.
"No one can know,"
"The only way I could see Kuwabara not talking to Yukina was if maybe he was infected with some contagious disease,"
Where's Shizuru?
Yes where is she?
I know where she is.
She's never coming back.
She's been missing for weeks.
It runs in the family
"Oh no, Kuwabara knows it wouldn't transfer to a demon, maybe it's an embarrassing rash," Botan teased further.
Where's Shizuru?
Yes where is she?
I know where she is.
She's never coming back.
She's been missing for weeks.
It runs in the family
"Maybe he started hating women, yanno, a message-ist,"
No one can know
No one can know
"I… um…"Kuwabara began weakly.
"That's a little extreme, don't you think Yusuke? And it's misogynist, "Botan countered.
Pick, pick, pick
"Okay, okay, something less extreme. Kuwabara," Yusuke leaned in towards his friend and lowered his voice.
Facetiously he whispered, "Are you gay, man?"
A solution-sometimes they just fell into your lap.
Kuwabara's eyes widened slightly in surprise. His stomach unclenched and he fought the urge to sigh in relief. He had to carefully deploy his expressions. He had learned quickly that body language told more than words ever would. He could do this; after all he had fooled Urameshi into believing that he had died at the Dark Tournament.
Being gay.
It was just taboo enough to discourage further prying.
Kuwabara allowed his eye contact to linger on Urameshi's for a couple seconds too long. He then looked down at the table in submission without saying a word.
"Kuwabara?"
This was perfect. He prepared himself for the act.
Without lifting his gaze Kuwabara muttered, "This is not how I wanted you guys to find out,"
After an appreciable silence he looked up at Urameshi and Botan for added effect. He had never seen Yusuke look so shocked;. Botan's eyes opened enough that the red veins were protruding in the corners.
Kuwabara began to stand. He untangled his legs from beneath the table and began to walk home eyes downcast. He said nothing as he departed, but turned every eye.
Kurama and Hiei walked over to where Botan and Yusuke had been struck silent.
"What happened?" Kurama inquired with a raised brow.
"Um…Kuwabara just told us that… that he was gay…" Kurama's usual aplomb dropped instantly,
"Well…that's unexpected…"
Hiei said nothing, but slipped a glance to his sister's confused expression.
As Kuwabara walked down the thousand chipped concrete steps to Genkai's temple, he heard everyone calling to him in their loudest voices,
Where's Shizuru?
Yes, where is she?
I know where she is.
She's never coming back.
She's been missing for weeks.
It runs in the family.
No one can know.
No one can know.