Uhura had been a detective for a very long time, and he found that love, or what people believed to be love, was everywhere. There were all kinds of love, too. Familial love, brotherly love, first love, and that most destructive of all "loves": elicit love.
That most destructive of loves was being conducted at this moment, in suite fourteen of the Intergalactic Hotel in San Francisco, between one Mr. Spock and Missus X.
Uhura took pictures of the notorious Vulcan and his married lover as they embraced inside Mr. Spock's hotel room, and then when Missus X exited the hotel and walked across the front courtyard.
The case was closed, and he felt a feeling of contentment at another job well done. When he arrived home, he could hear his daughter practicing her Vulcan in her room. He frowned slightly at the coincidence and then shrugged, she needed to be proficient in Vulcan if she wanted to be a communications officer, after all.
"Good morning, papa," she greeted once he entered her line of vision.
"Good morning, Nyota," he smiled.
"Was it a long night, papa?" she asked, pausing her language programme.
Uhura sat down to the breakfast tray that Nyota had prepared for him, before he rejoined, "Yes it was."
"Did anything particularly scandalous happen?" she hinted.
He fixed her with a disapproving look, and replied after he'd swallowed his mouthful of croissant, "Have you been going through my computer files again?"
She gazed down at the floor demurely, "Not recently, papa."
"Nyota! How many times have I told you not to go looking through all that filth?"
She sighed softly, "I know, papa, but all the girls at Starfleet are so jealous of my private library."
"My files aren't a library, Nyota, they're a sewer."
"Oh no, papa!" she protested, walking towards him and stopping at the door of her bedroom. "It's all so romantic! I think my favourite one is about the Duchess and her Alpine guide. Imagine giving up the castle and all the hounds to be with the man you love."
"All for a few weeks of scandalous passion," Uhura grumbled, dipping his croissant into his tea. "A tragic story must have a tragic end!"
"Oh but imagine dying in an avalanche in the arms of the man you love," Nyota replied dreamily.
"A positively ridiculous demise when modern technology gives you ample warning before such an event. They'll be thawed out by the summer!"
Nyota just sighed softly.
"Nyota, I don't want you going through my files anymore-" he was cut off as the doorbell rang. "And I don't want you to answer the door either. That's one of my clients, now go to your room and practice your Vulcan."
Nyota raised an arched eyebrow before replying, "Yes papa."
Uhura opened the door for his very sombre looking client, who entered with a groan and set his suitcases down in the narrow entrance hall. Uhura led him into his office where the man promptly slumped into a seat. The sound of Nyota practicing emanated from the next room.
The client frowned deeply, "Oh please would you stop that noise? I'm a very nervous man."
Uhura nodded, "Of course."
He walked the short distance to Nyota's room and opened the door.
"Not now, Nyota," he said, pointing to her computer.
Nyota frowned slightly, "Yes papa."
Uhura closed her door behind him and rejoined his dour client.
"So?" Mister X prompted. "What's the verdict?"
Uhura sat down behind his desk and replied, "Just one moment, the pictures are still being uploaded to my computer. How was London?"
"Miserable," his client stated sourly.
"What a pity, the evenings have been so warm here. How was your business?"
"Terrible," he whined.
"I'm so sorry to hear that, things have been so lively here in San Francisco."
The files finally finished uploading and he turned his computer monitor so that it faced his client.
"So is my wife having an affair or not?" the client demanded.
"That depends," Uhura replied, zooming in on the image of Missus X crossing the hotel courtyard. "Is this your wife?"
The picture was not very clear because a black lace veil obscured the woman's face, and most of her body was covered in a black satin dress.
"It must be her," the client replied in horror. "I should have taken her with me to London!"
"That wouldn't have helped. Mr. Spock has conducted his activities there, and in Rome, Athens, New York, Paris. I won't bore you with such particulars, however. Would you like to hear about your wife's rendezvous with Mr. Spock?"
The client inhaled sharply, "Yes I would."
"Very good. She normally arrives at about nine o' clock and uses the service elevator to reach Mr. Spock's room. He normally plays a number of compositions on his Vulcan lyre until about a quarter to ten, at which time he puts on a recording of Terran slow dance songs. He and your wife invariably dance for about an hour until the recordings stop."
"What happens then?" Mister X asked tersely.
"He and your wife retire to his bedroom, of course."
"Of course," Mister X groaned, then he frowned deeply again. "What time did you say they stop dancing at?"
"About a quarter to eleven."
"Then at that time I will walk into suite fourteen and shoot!"
"Your wife?" Uhura demanded. "Oh no! You will probably hit her in the leg or arm because your hands were trembling, and then you'll take her to the hospital where she'll meet a very attractive doctor-"
"Why would I ever shoot my wife? I love my wife!"
"Oh good! Then you must not shoot yourself!"
The client looked confused, "Why would I shoot myself? I haven't done anything!"
"Then who will you shoot?"
"Why Mr. Spock of course! I will walk into suite fourteen at exactly a quarter to eleven and shoot!"
During the beginning of this exchange, Nyota had taken the opportunity to eavesdrop. When she heard the last part of the conversation and what Mister X planned to do to Mr. Spock, she gasped. She couldn't let him kill the poor man!
"You do realise that Mr. Spock is a Commander in Starfleet, and because you have shot him, you will invariably have to spend a long time in prison for committing cold blooded murder," Uhura explained.
"I may, but I am willing to do so."
"Well then, I must demand that you pay me immediately."
"Of course," Mister X replied, flipping open his credit storage device. "How much do I owe you?"
"Sixty thousand credits," Uhura replied. "It should actually be more, because with Mr. Spock's removal, my business will drop sharply."
The client punched the amount into his credit storage device, and then replied, "There we are. I must be going now, Mr. Uhura."
Uhura nodded as he followed his client to the door, "Would you like me to send you the pictures? It's no extra charge."
"Send them to my lawyer, along with my luggage."
"Very well, it's no extra charge."
Nyota heard the door click behind Mister X and she immediately opened her bedroom door.
"Papa," she called.
"Yes Nyota?"
"Um may I continue practicing now?" she asked nervously.
"Of course, my darling."
"I'd better clear the tray first," she said, walking into the dining room.
On the way to the dining room she saw the picture of Mr. Spock on her father's computer monitor.
He's very handsome, she thought, taking in the large, obsidian eyes and glossy cap of black hair, against pale skin. His lips were full and curved beneath a lovely straight nose. She slid her finger along the screen while her father's back was turned to her, and saw the picture of Mr. Spock standing on his suite's balcony.
"He must be at least six foot two," she mused out loud.
Her father frowned as he turned around, and then he sharply turned the monitor away from her.
"Go back to your room and practice your Vulcan, Nyota."
"Yes papa."
She was completely distracted during her evening linguistics' lesson while she thought about Mister X shooting the beautiful Vulcan, Mr. Spock.
"What time is it now?" she asked her friend Leonard McCoy.
He frowned and looked down at his watch, "It's nine thirty. Why do you keep asking?"
"Right everyone," said the lecturer. "That's all for tonight. I'll see you again on Thursday."
Nyota quickly gathered her things and left the lecture hall with Leonard in tow, a very confused expression on his face.
She suddenly whirled round and asked, "Do you have a phone card?"
"Yes."
"Good. May I borrow it? I need to make an urgent phone call."
Leonard's expression grew even more confused as he handed Nyota his phone card. She stepped into the phone box and placed Leonard's card in the slot.
"Who is your intended recipient?" the robotic voice of the phone booth asked.
"The Intergalactic Hotel," Nyota replied.
There was a moment of beeping and then the image of the hotel concierge filled the screen.
"Hello," he smiled slightly. "This is the Intergalactic Hotel. How may I be of assistance?"
"Hello. Please put this call through to Mr. Spock in suite fourteen. It's urgent!"
"I am afraid I can't do that, Miss. Mr. Spock has given explicit orders not to be disturbed in the evening."
"Listen to me," Nyota replied desperately. "If you don't put this call through, he won't be disturbed permanently!"
The concierge raised an eyebrow, "I'm afraid I can't help you, Miss."
"Oh please-" she began before the concierge cut her off and the screen went blank.
"Nyota," Leonard exclaimed. "Who's Mr. Spock?"
Nyota ignored his question and slid the card back into the slot.
"Who are you calling now?" Leonard demanded in exasperation.
"The San Francisco Police Station," she replied to the computer, as she shut the booth's door in Leonard's shocked face.
"This is Sergeant Kordian," the friendly Orion said. "How may I help you?"
"There's a man and a woman in suite fourteen of the Intergalactic Hotel!"
"I see. What crime is being committed?"
"You don't understand! The woman is married, and her husband has a phaser! A great, big phaser!"
"Is the phaser not registered?" the Orion asked, his mouth lifting at the side slightly.
"No, no! At a quarter to eleven this evening he is going to go into the hotel suite and shoothis wife's lover!"
"Oh I see. Well at a quarter eleven, if the husband does indeed shoot his wife's lover, then please contact us again."
"But you don't understand! He's going to kill her lover!"
"My dear Miss, there are approximately seven thousand hotels in San Francisco, and about two hundred thousand rooms in those hotels. I'd say that in about forty thousand of those rooms, a similar situation is unfolding. Now if we were to send a policeman to all those rooms, it would be impossible! It just boggles the imagination! We'd have to send the fire department, and the sanitation department! No, no! It's just not possible."
"But-" Nyota began.
"Good evening, Miss," the Orion sergeant smiled before cutting the connection.
Nyota stared at the screen in defeat for a moment, before she opened the phone booth's door and was confronted by an indignant Leonard.
"Nyota! You will explain to me what this is all about! I'd like to take you home now!"
Nyota's head snapped up and a twinkling filled her large eyes, "Yes Leonard, I want you to take me home. But on the way home, could we please stop at the Intergalactic Hotel?"
"The Intergalactic Hotel?" Leonard blustered as Nyota dragged him down the hallway towards the exit.
Nyota stood in the long passage that ran along the expanse of the floor upon which suite fourteen, and numerous other rooms, were situated. She could hear the sound of Terran slow dance songs softly wafting into the air from Mr. Spock's room. How was she going to get into his room? She couldn't very well barge in and declare herself! What if Mister X was hanging around and saw her? He may come in and shoot Mr. Spock ahead of schedule!
She stood thinking until a woman in a great white coat and carrying a furry little dog, made her way to the suite next to Mr. Spock's, and promptly forgot to remove her access key from her door.
Nyota approached the door with caution and then took a deep breath before opening it. The woman was obviously in the bathroom, only her little dog sat in a plush cushion by the bed. It immediately began to yap as Nyota tiptoed towards the open balcony doors.
"Oh shush," she instructed, as she stepped out onto the balcony.
She looked to her right, towards Mr. Spock's hotel room, and saw that the ledge leading to his balcony was quite wide. She gave a sharp nod before climbing over the balustrade, and making her way along the ledge. She did not dare look down, because she was very high up, and was very relieved when she climbed onto suite fourteen's balcony.
Luckily the balcony doors were open so she quickly entered the room. The lights were quite low, and for a moment all she could hear was the romantic music, it sounded like Fascination, but then she saw the slowly swaying figures of Mr. Spock and Missus X.
"Mr. Spock," she whispered, walking towards them.
Neither of them made any sign of recognition, and Nyota sighed before patting him on the shoulder and repeating his name. At her touch he looked up and his winged brow creased.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"That's not important! What is important is that you, " she pointed at Missus X, "leave here immediately!"
"Why she should she do that?"
"Because her husband is outside the door! With a phaser!" Nyota motioned wildly towards the door. "A great, big phaser!"
Missus X pulled her veil over her face and stood perfectly still beside Mr. Spock.
"How inconvenient," he replied.
At exactly a quarter to eleven, when he heard that the Terran slow music, Fascination he believed, came to an end, he emerged from his hiding place. He looked at the phaser in his hand for a moment, and then made his way to the door of suite fourteen. He ripped the Do Not Disturb sign off, and then tried to kick the door down, before he realised the door was in fact open and he almost tumbled indignantly into the room.
"Sorry Mr. Spock!" he cried, righting himself and waving his phaser in the air. "But that's quite enough of that with my wife!"
Spock looked at him from his seat on the couch that had its back facing the door, and frowned.
"I beg your pardon?"
"Disentangle yourself from my wife!" Mister X demanded, approaching the couple while brandishing his phaser at them.
"Your wife?" Spock asked.
"Of course my wife!"
Spock turned towards his silent companion and asked, "Is this your husband?"
She leaned forward slightly as she removed her veil, revealing a face that was far too young and exotic to be Mister X's wife.
"Why I don't believe so," she replied.
"But, but!" Mister X spluttered. "I don't understand! You are Mister Spock, are you not?"
"Indeed I am," he replied impassively.
"And this is suite fourteen?" Mister X asked, his voice growing softer.
"Affirmative."
"Would you excuse me for a moment?"
"Of course."
Mister X made his way over to the hotel communicator built into the wall, and pressed the call button.
"Hello is this the concierge?"
He was silent for a moment while the question was answered, "Is there another Mr. Spock in this hotel?"
He nodded, "I see. Is there another suite fourteen?"
His expression grew increasing bereft, "This is the Intergalactic Hotel, correct?"
He released a sigh as the other person spoke, and then disconnected the call after issuing a confused thank you.
He stared at Spock and the mystery girl for a moment before he said, "I must apologise for my behaviour. I thought that you were having an affair with my wife. But you aren't my wife, are you?"
"I'm afraid not," Nyota replied.
"I must say I am glad. You don't look a thing like my wife. She's much more," he made a gesture that communicated womanly curves. "She's not heavy mind you! She's very beautiful! I think that she's the most beautiful woman in the world."
"Indeed," Spock replied dryly.
"I so wish you could meet her," Mister X sighed dreamily. "Well I'll go then. I apologise again."
"Your apology is not necessary. It is illogical to apologise for misunderstanding something."
Mister X gave a nervous little bow before he tottered out of the room, and closed the door behind him.
"That was indeed "close" as you humans like to say," Spock said as he turned towards Nyota.
"Yes," she smiled slightly. "Well Mr. Spock, I must go now. It was nice meeting you."
Spock frowned, "But you cannot leave without explaining to me how you came to know about his intention to shoot me."
Nyota's shrugged, "I heard it from a friend of a friend… of a friend…"
Spock raised an eyebrow, "You must have many friends."
Nyota blushed, as her eyes took in his lean, tall frame. He was dressed in a white Nehru collar shirt, black slacks and loafers. He really was incredibly handsome.
"You are six foot two, aren't you?" she asked rhetorically.
Spock opened his mouth in order to reply but was cut off by the sound of knocking at his hotel room door.
"Who is it?"
"It's the husband!" came the muffled reply.
Nyota knew that if Spock were human, he would have rolled his eyes, but instead he evenly replied, "Just a moment, please."
He led Nyota back to the couch, and when she was comfortably secured in the circle of his arm, he called, "Come in."
As Mister X entered, Spock drew Nyota against him and kissed her gently. Her whole body tensed in surprise and then she relaxed as Spock's warm tongue licked at the line of her lips. While Mister X babbled his apologies about interrupting, and retrieved his phaser from the small table under the communicator, as he explained that he'd bought it in London and would return it because he still had his sales slip, Spock's deft tongue explored the responsive cavern of Nyota's mouth.
She expected him to immediately break the kiss when Mister X finally took his leave a second time, but he titled her head back instead, and deepened the kiss. Her head felt wonderfully light, and all her nerves seemed to be concentrated on the sensations that stemmed from Spock's talented ministrations on her mouth.
He finally pulled away from her, and for a moment she gazed at him in a dreamy haze. Then alarms went off in her addled brain and she leapt off the couch.
Spock looked vaguely amused as she said, "I'm sorry, Mr. Spock, but I really must go now."
"Alright," he replied, as he got up from the couch. "But I'll see you tomorrow night for dinner of course."
She stared at him, and finally replied, "Oh no. I'm sorry, but I've got a previous engagement."
He looked decidedly unimpressed, but he didn't give up, "Then you can come in the afternoon."
She had made her way to the door once more, and paused with her hand on the doorknob.
"Oh I don't think so-"
He walked towards her and stopped barely an arm's length away, "I'm leaving for a science conference tomorrow night, and I would like you to see me off."
She contemplated this for a moment before she gave in and replied, "I'll come tomorrow afternoon then. I really must go now before I get in trouble with the man I live with."
"The man you live with?" he mimicked in surprise.
"Yes," she frowned slightly as she opened the door. "Goodnight Mr. Spock."
"Goodnight slim girl," he replied.
She stilled in the corridor outside his hotel room, "Don't you mean thin girl?"
He stared at her with a look of incomprehension.
"You see, in all the early twentieth century detective novels and movies, they always call the mysterious character thin man. So you should call me thin girl, not slim girl."
Spock was silent for a few minutes, and then he answered, "No. I think I like slim girl. Goodnight Slim."
She laughed and repeated her farewell before making her way down the passage away from his room. He watched her as she left, and only closed his door when she rounded the corner. When she was out of sight, she raised her fingers to her lips, and thought about him kissing her. It had been her first kiss.
She hummed Fascination as she got out of the hoverbus outside of her apartment building.
"What are you humming?" Leonard grouched. "And where did you get that stupid veil?"
Nyota only smiled at him and then blew a kiss as she entered the apartment building, leaving Leonard, confused and irritable, on the pavement.
As she made her way up the stairs, she heard laughing ahead, and then, "My wife and I will laugh about this for weeks, Mr. Uhura!"
"I see," she heard her father reply in bemusement. "I don't understand. My reports are always accurate."
"Well, I'm glad that this time it was inaccurate," Mister X replied and laughed again.
"Yes," her father replied absently.
"Goodnight, Mr. Uhura," Mister X said, and then she heard footsteps fast approaching.
For a moment she was frozen in panic. What if he recognised her? Then he would surely know that Mr. Spock had been seeing his wife, and he'd definitely go back and shoot him with his phaser. His great, big phaser.
She took a deep breath before tying up her hair in her customary ponytail, and slipping the veil into her coat. Mister X passed her on the stairs, and greeted her jovially. She turned her head away in order to obscure his view of her face, and gave a soft greeting in return. Her ascent was rapid and she soon opened the door to the apartment and slipped inside.
Mister X paused on the stairs for a moment, and mused about how familiar that girl had looked, before he shrugged and left the building.