Disclaimer: I don't own CSI, sadly enough.
A/N: This picks up directly after "Living Doll" ends. I know the cliff-hanger has been driving me crazy! So for those of you who feel the same, hopefully this will help. Enjoy! And as always reviews are greatly appreciated!
A Cold Trail in the Desert
"Oh, sad was the day for the little bisque doll,
for they cut all her stitches away,
and found the seat of the terrible ache;
'Twas a delicate task..." Natalie sang, her eyes wide and vacant.
"Natalie, listen to me -- tell me where she is," Grissom said trying to get the girl to snap out of it, but it did no good.
"For none of the doctors had ever before
performed on a dolly's inside."
"Natalie. Please tell me where Sara is," Grissom asked again, this time just short of pleading.
"They tried to re-stuff her but didn't know how,
and this was her wail as she died..."
Grissom grabbed Natalie's shoulders and shook her, "Stop it! Just stop this! Tell me where Sara is!"
Natalie however continued to sing, oblivious to Grissom in the room with her.
"I've got a pain in my sawdust.
That's what's the matter with me.
Something is wrong with my little inside.
I'm just as sick as can be.
Don't let me faint. Someone get me a fan.
Someone please run for the medicine man.
Everyone hurry as fast as you can,
'cause I've got a pain in my sawdust."
Grissom stared into Natalie's blank eyes and realized she wasn't going to talk. He fought against losing control completely. Resisting the urge to slap Natalie out of her delusional state, he rose out of his seat and walked out of the interrogation room, slamming the door behind him. Brass was waiting for Grissom just down the hall.
"She's not talking," he said as soon as he saw the detective.
"Let me get in there with her and see what I can do."
"Jim, she. Is. Not. Talking. She's not even aware I was in the room with her. I don't care who's in there with her, she's not going to say anything. Nothing relevant anyway."
"Let me be the judge of that. Besides, it can't hurt keep trying."
Grissom nodded, "Fine, I'm going to see what I can do in the lab. Page me if you get anything."
XXXXX
In Grissom's absence, Catherine had taken charge of the CSI's. Nick and Greg were processing Sara's car, while Warrick remained with Catherine to process the miniature.
Catherine and Warrick looked over every inch of the tiny crime scene for any hint of evidence; for any clue of Sara's location. An hour later they knew nothing more than what the miniature had told them at first glance: Sara was trapped, alive, under a red Mustang she'd processed months ago, in the middle of the desert.
"This isn't much to go on," Warrick said, breaking the silence for the first time since they'd started looking at the miniature.
Catherine sighed and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "We sent off a sample of the sand to trace, but there's no guarantee Natalie even used sand from where she dumped Sara. She could have gotten this from a sandbox at the park."
"I think there's a pretty good chance Natalie did take the sand from where she dumped Sara. All of her previous miniatures have been that detailed. Why not this one?"
Before Catherine could answer, Grissom appeared in the doorway. Even when a case got to him, Grissom was always able to stay objective. Now he looked simply lost, his face pale and his eyes filled with emotion. He seemed to collect himself slightly before he entered the room and when he spoke his voice was firm and steady, "What do we have?"
"Not a lot. We've been looking over this for the past hour. We sent a sample of the sand to trace. Still waiting on the results," Warrick answered.
"What about these rocks and shrubs?"
"We sent a couple off to trace as well. The shrubs are plastic though."
"I just finished 'interviewing' Natalie. She isn't going to say anything that can help us. That miniature may be our only link to Sara, so don't skip over anything. Where are Nick and Greg?"
This time it was Catherine who answered, "I sent them out to process Sara's car. You were with Natalie and I didn't want to waste any time."
"Good. I'm going to find out what they got. You two go to Natalie's apartment and process. Remember, we're racing against the clock here. Be thorough, but quick. I'll get Brass to find out anything else he can about her." Grissom gave Catherine and Warrick just enough time to nod, before turning and walking back out the door again.
Warrick turned to Catherine, hesitating before he spoke, not willing to discuss what he knew was on both their minds. "So, he seems to be holding up well enough doesn't he?"
Catherine didn't answer directly, "I've got to talk to Brass. Get our kits ready and meet me in the car?"
"Sure thing, Cath."
Catherine waited until Warrick was out of the room to dial Brass on her cell. She knew Warrick was just as shocked as she was about Grissom's confession of his feelings for Sara. Catherine couldn't tell that Grissom even knew he'd said anything and she didn't want to talk about it with anyone until she knew what was going on. Catherine's thoughts were interrupted by Brass' voice.
"Yeah, Brass here."
"Jim, Catherine. Listen I need to talk to you. You got a minute?"
She heard the detective sigh, "Yeah. I've been trying to get Natalie to talk, but I can't get a single word out of her. What's up?"
"That's what I wanted to ask you. What is going on with Grissom?"
"What do you mean?"
Catherine repeated what Grissom had said about Sara.
"Yeah that's right, he and Sara are involved--"
"You knew." It was more of a statement than a question.
"Yeah I knew, but never mind that. I don't guess you're calling just to gossip. You're wondering if Grissom should pull himself from the case?"
"Yeah."
"How's he holding up?"
"He's doing his job, but he's definitely shaken."
"Protocol says he can't even be with Sara to begin with and that he certainly should not be on this case."
"But?"
"But if you guys and I are the only ones who know... and we keep this quiet... I say he stays on the case as long as he can keep objective. He's the best and if we're going to find Sara he needs to be in on the search. We deal with the repercussions later, right now we need to find Sara."
"Someone needs to talk to him..."
"I'll talk to Grissom, you just tell the CSI's to keep quiet about this."
They ended the connection and Catherine went to join Warrick.
XXXXX
The rain seemed to be getting heavier by the minute. Large drops landed on her hand and arm. Sara could feel the water rising around her, fast and cold. As she struggled to breathe, water found it's way into her mouth. She tried to cough it back up, but didn't have the strength. She tried to raise her head above the water, but a moment later she fell back into mud. Fighting for air, Sara finally managed to tilt her head upwards. She reached her hand outwards, grabbing at the ground, moving to keep conscious, trying to remember what happened...
XXXXX
When Grissom found Nick and Greg, they were still processing the scene.
"I've got a couple more long brown hairs here. Could be Sara's." Nick called to Greg as he bagged the evidence.
"Could be Natalie's too," Greg hollered back.
"Doesn't really matter who those hairs belong to," Grissom said.
Greg looked up, glanced uncertainly at Nick, then at Grissom. Nick sensed the younger CSI's uneasiness and spoke instead. "I'll send them to DNA just the same. I don't want to overlook anything."
"Right play it safe, but Natalie doesn't have an accomplice. Those hairs will belong to her or Sara. We know who and what. We don't know how, when or where," Grissom said, "We're working this case backwards."
Greg spoke up, "We've done that before though-"
"Not with Natalie, Greg," Grissom snapped. "The only miniature case that's been similar to this was when Natalie mailed me the crime scene in advance. We knew when and where there would be a murder and we still couldn't stop it."
"Alright," Nick said, trying to ease the tension, "let's just focus what we know."
Grissom took a breathe and asked, "What did you find?"
"Not a lot. The only sign of struggle are these hairs we just found- skin tags on the ends- they were pulled. Sara's keys were just behind her back bumper and her phone was in her trunk. My guess? She was putting her kit in her trunk and Natalie surprised her from behind."
"We don't guess Nick. We can't afford to be anything but certain right now. There's no room for mistakes."
"Yes, sir."
"Anything else?"
Greg tentatively spoke again, "We were going to check and see if the garage security cameras picked up anything."
"Good, go look at the videos. I'll finish up here."
Greg nodded and headed towards the building, but Nick stayed behind just a moment. He walked next to Grissom who was looking under Sara's car with his flashlight.
"You know Gris, when I was kidnapped you found me in time. We'll find Sara."
Before Grissom could respond, his phone rang.
"Grissom. Okay I'll be there in a few minutes." To Nick he said, "Just look at those videos alright?"
Nick nodded, leaving Grissom to finish processing Sara's car.
He looked in the trunk again. Where was Sara's purse? He moved his flashlight slowly around the garage. On first pass he found nothing and moved the light lower. As the beam moved across the ground, something glinted, just under the car next to Sara's. His car. As he moved closer he could tell it was Sara's purse and bent down to pick it up. Was it a coincidence that it was under his car? None of Sara's other processions had traveled this far. Carefully, he opened it. Inside there was a bit of make-up, some pens, paper... a piece of familiar looking paper. Grissom unfolded it only to find it was the letter he'd written Sara so many months ago. Why was it in her purse? He'd never given it to her.
"Oh Sara..." he whispered aloud.
With heavy hands, he placed the letter aside and picked up her wallet. In the flap just behind her driver's license was a picture of the the two of them. He gently ran his finger down Sara's outline as he felt his eyes fill with tears. What if they couldn't find her? He blinked and shook his head. No, he couldn't think like that. He had to stay focused. He replaced the items in Sara's purse and looked around his car for anything he might have missed, but found nothing.
XXXXX
Sara lay perfectly still, having lost the strength to move her arm. The water was still rising around her. How long had she been here? All she could remember was a voice calling her name, a shock of pain, then nothing. When she awoke, she found herself pinned under something heavy. She knew from the sand she was laying on that she was in the desert. Did Grissom know she was missing yet? Did anyone know? A trickle of blood ran down her face, it felt warm, but Sara was beginning to shiver.
XXXXX
"Hey Gil, sit down a minute okay?" Brass asked when Grissom stepped into his office.
Grissom did as he was told. He'd been expecting this, but he didn't want to be sitting in Brass' office having this chat.
For a moment the detective looked at his friend as if trying to figure out what to say. Finally he spoke, "I know you don't want to be having this discussion, but we need to deal with this.
Grissom nodded, silently.
"About you and Sara-"
Grissom cut him off, "I'm not being pulled from the case Brass. We need everyone working on this, including me. Especially me."
"Whoa. Slow down. No one's pulling you from the case."
"Then why are we sitting here?"
"We still need to talk about this. Are you aware that your team knows?"
"How? Did you tell them?"
"No, you did."
Grissom looked at Brass, confused. Then he remembered. He pressed his fingers against his forehead for a moment. "Have they said anything to anyone?"
"Catherine called me. She wasn't sure if you're actually involved with Sara or not. I told her that you are and she will clear things up with the team. I think that's in Sara's best interest. We stand the greatest chance of finding her if all the cards are on the table."
"If they know I'll have to pull myself from the case."
"No, you need to stay on this. No one but myself and the team knows and we're not saying anything. If this gets out later, you'll have to deal with it then, but right now we need to find Sara. Just try to stay objective Gil, please."
There was a knock at the door, and Grissom turned around to find Nick standing there.
"Hey boss, I think we have your 'how'. Brass will you run a plate number for me?"
Nick read off the plate number then led Grissom back to the A/V lab.
"What'd you find Nicky?"
"Watch," Nick said, playing a video from the garage elevator. Natalie walked in, went up to the fifth floor, walked out and reappeared ten minutes later with an unconscious Sara.
"Natalie must have been expecting Sara," Greg said.
"Yeah, ten minutes in and out. I don't think that crime scene was the only place she's been watching Sara," Nick said.
"She's been watching her here at the lab. Hang on," Grissom pulled out his phone and checked his call log. "Natalie overheard Sara telling me she was going home for the day. She called me just before Natalie headed for the garage. The time stamps match up. That means she's been missing almost 3 hours."
Nick nodded, "That makes sense. Here now watch this, the video from the garage."
Grissom watched Natalie head across the garage. She reached Sara's car and then disappeared into the shadows.
"She stays there for the next 8 minutes," Nick said fast-forwarding the tape. "Okay here comes Sara."
Sara walked in from the same direction Natalie had come. She reached her car, placed her kit inside then turned her head. Natalie pounced out of the shadows, hit Sara in the chest with something, causing her to pass out. Grissom groaned internally. Natalie picked Sara up and slowly walked back towards the elevator.
"When we zoomed in, it looked like Natalie hit Sara with a tasergun," Greg said.
"Right," Nick said taking the lead, "And see how she's struggling with Sara's weight?"
"She had to have a car to get her out of here with," Grissom said.
Nick played a clip from the garage exit. In the lower right corner was a car bumper with a license plate visible.
"See that car down there?" Nick asked. "About 20 seconds after Natalie and Sara pass it, it drives off. That has to be Natalie and Sara in the car."
Right on cue, Brass walked in. "Ran the plate number you gave me."
"Let me guess," Grissom said, "Ernie Dell is the registered owner."
Brass nodded.
"Well that figures," Nick said, "Where else would she get a car from. She had to know her car would be caught on camera. She takes every precaution she can, she doesn't use her car, she doesn't even have a driver's license, but she stays in plain sight of the security camera? It doesn't make sense."
"Nick don't try to make sense out of what she's doing. This case isn't like the others. We've been over that. She doesn't care about getting caught, she just wants revenge," Grissom said. He turned to Brass, "We need to find that car."
"I put an APB out on it just now," the detective said, "I also called Catherine and told her to check for it around Natalie's apartment."
"I'm heading over there," Grissom said. "Brass, see what else you can find out about Natalie. Nick and Greg, go back over the miniature, and the evidence we have so far. I don't want to miss anything."
XXXXX
The drive to Natalie's apartment was difficult for Grissom. It was the first time he'd been able to slow down and think since Sara went missing. He felt like his life was crumbling down around him. Everything was happening too fast.
The sound of screeching tires and a honking horn brought Grissom's thoughts back to his driving. He realized he'd just run a red light. He took a deep breath and tried to focus on the road, but the same thought kept echoing in his mind. A thought no one had been able to voice. Sara was out there dying and they were no closer to finding her now than when they started.
XXXXX
Lighting momentarily lit up Sara's surroundings. The rain still hadn't stopped, and water was now covering most of her neck. She tried to tilt her head higher again, but the pain stopped her. She wanted to laugh; she was going to drown on the desert floor. Instead a groan escaped her.
XXXXX
Grissom reached Natalie's apartment only to find it resembled more of a workshop. He slowly walked down the entry way. Dolls lined both walls, staring at him with their glass eyes. Eyes that seemed to hold more life than their owner. Ahead was a large work table with sketches hanging up around it. Sketches of Sara...
"Hey," came Catherine's voice from across the room. "I didn't hear you come in."
"Where's Warrick?"
"Downstairs. I sent him to look for the car. I'm just wrapping up in here."
"There's enough evidence in here to convict her for all the miniature killings."
"Yeah," Catherine sighed, "Unfortunately not enough evidence to help Sara. We're not finding anything that tells us something we don't already know."
"Keep looking, there has to be something."
Grissom moved closer to the sketches. "Did you find any photographs?"
"No. Just a lot of sketchpads."
"Photographic memory," Grissom said softly.
"What was that?"
"This girl has a photographic memory; enhanced right brain abilities. She didn't draw these at the scene, she had to have done that here, later."
He picked up one of himself standing next to Sara, his hand on her arm. Catherine looked over at him and when she saw what he was looking at she asked, "How are you holding up?"
"I just want to find Sara." He paused, then, "Have you talked to the team?"
"Yeah."
"How did they take the news?"
"Well it was a bit of a shock. We had no idea that you two... How long has this been going on?"
"A couple of years. Back when you were supervising swing shift. You and Sara had that disagreement and Ecklie wanted me to fire her. I went to her apartment and we sorted a few things out. What?" He asked when he realized Catherine was smiling.
"I just can't believe we never figured that out."
Grissom returned her smile with a small one of his own. He'd never liked talking about his personal life, but somehow it made him feel better right now.
"I couldn't believe no one figured it out either."
"Brass knew."
"He didn't exactly figure it out, more like it hit him right in the face. He stopped by my house one night, he was just down the road with a flat tire and wanted a lift."
"And Sara answered the door?"
"In her pajamas."
Catherine allowed herself a small chuckle at that, trying to imagine Brass' face. If it hadn't been for her long friendship with Grissom, this conversation with her boss would have been very awkward.
"I'm sorry I never told you Cath, but if Ecklie could ever prove Sara and I were together it would have meant trouble for anyone who knew for not reporting us."
"Oh there's plenty of time for me to hound you about this later. Let's just find Sara first okay?"
An odd look overtook Grissom's face at her words.
"Grissom, you alright?"
"No. I'm worried we won't find her. There isn't time to process things the way we need to. Even if there was, what do we have? Besides a ton of evidence we can't use to help us? Nothing. Natalie's too good. And while we're running around in circles, Sara's out there dy--"
"Hey, you start thinking like that and we won't find her. Stay focused, we'll find her."
The next few minutes passed in silence as the two CSI's searched the apartment. Catherine opened a box on a shelf.
"Sand," she said. "Probably the same stuff used in the miniature. I'll send it to trace anyway."
"No need," it was Warrick from the doorway. "I found the car. Come on."
Grissom and Catherine followed Warrick down a couple of flights of stairs, outside, and into a back lot. Warrick stopped in front of a old green Jeep. Grissom quickly started inspecting it.
"Okay, this is it, finding Sara depends on the evidence we can find here. Cath take the front seat, Warrick take some samples of dirt off the tires. I'll get the back seat."
Grissom popped the lock on the door, allowing himself and Catherine access.
"I've got some fibers, probably from Natalie's clothes," Catherine said.
"There's some hair back here caught between the seats. Probably Sara's."
A flash of lightning illuminated the trio for a moment.
"Crap," came Catherine's voice. "We need to get this towed now before we lose any evidence in the storm."
Grissom's reaction however was quite different. A smile formed on his face as he stepped out of the car. "There's mud on these tires," he said kneeling down to touch one, "and it's still slightly wet. She dumped Sara out in the storm, somewhere over there," he said pointing west.
A fresh vigor filled him; finally they had the evidence they needed to find Sara. He started issuing commands, "Warrick call auto, tell them to tow this ASAP, top priority. Catherine stay here with him and find out how far this car went on it's last trip. I'm going back to the lab, meet me there as soon as you can."
XXXXX
Sara managed to twist her body around just enough to keep her head above the water. She was now fighting for consciousness. All pain had left her, replaced instead by a cold numbness. She thought she could feel blood trickling down her face and back, but it had lost its warmth. She tried to blink away the odd sensation that was overtaking her, but her vision was losing its focus.
XXXXX
As soon as Grissom reached the lab he sent the mud sample from Natalie's car to trace, instructing Hodges to find him to moment the results came in. Next he met Greg and Nick in the A/V lab.
"Bring up a radar for the Las Vegas area for the past four hours, as well as current conditions for surrounding areas," he said as soon as he walked in the door. A few seconds later Greg had the information up on the screen.
"There's a line of storms off to the west about 30 miles. It's been there for the past five hours." Greg reported.
"How far do they extend?" Grissom asked.
"The lines about 50 miles wide and 200 miles long."
"Ok good. Sara was abducted at 9 p.m. We arrested Natalie at 11 p.m. She had two hours to get Sara out to the desert, dump her and get back to her apartment."
"That means she could have travel up to 80 miles round-trip, but that doesn't take into account the time Natalie had to use to place Sara under the car," Nick said.
"Okay that means she couldn't have gone more than 100 miles, probably closer to 80." Grissom said, speaking quickly.
"That's still too big of an area for a search radius." Greg said.
"I've got Catherine calculating the distance of the car's last trip. That should help narrow things down. We need the results on the soil though, there might be something specific to the area Natalie drove through."
Grissom's phone rang again. "It's Catherine. I can't get a reading off the car."
"What do you mean?" Grissom asked, heart sinking.
"Natalie's tampered with it somehow. Maybe auto can tell you something; they just towed the car. Warrick and I are on our way back to the lab now."
"Good, meet me in the layout room when you get here."
He hung up and filled Nick and Greg in.
"What now?" Greg asked his boss.
"We wait. We can't do anything until we get those soil results. Greg, print out a map of this area that shows any rainfall received in the past four hours only. Enlarge it and set it up in the layout room. Nick track down Brass and bring him in for this."
"Where are you going?" Nick asked.
"I'm putting the troops on standby. As soon as we get a position we need the squad cars and rescue ready to roll."
XXXXX
Ten minutes later Brass joined the five CSI's in the layout room and Grissom filled everyone in, making sure they were all on the same page. They'd managed to narrow Sara's location down to a cone that extended 80 miles to the west.
Just as Grissom finished explaining everything, Hodges rushed in with two pieces of paper. It all came down to this. "What'd you get?" Grissom asked.
"Here's the soil sample from the tire. At first there wasn't anything probative, but then I realized that Natalie probably stopped for a period of time allowing some of the mud to partially dry. I found high concentrations of limestone as well as a few slivers of grass that only grow at higher elevations. I compared it to the sample taken off the miniature. The limestone concentration was the same, but it didn't have any grass it it."
"So the grass slid down the mountain in the rain and dried onto the tire?" Nick asked.
"Looks that way," Hodges said.
"We're closing in. I need a map of areas with high concentrations of limestone and another that will tell us where this grass grows," Grissom said.
"I'm on it," Warrick said, leaving the room.
Grissom turned to Brass, "We're leaving as soon as Warrick can get us those maps. Make sure we have rescue ready to go, then meet us back here."
Grissom turned to the three CSI's left in the room with him, "Good work, and thank you."
Before they could respond Warrick ran back in. He'd printed the maps on transparent sheets, placing one behind the other. He placed it on the table and circled an area in red. "There," he said. "That's the only place Natalie could get that soil and that grass on her tires at the same time. Twenty-five miles from here."
"Let's go," Grissom said simply.
XXXXX
It took almost thirty minutes, going way over the speed limit to reach the start of the small search radius. Grissom dropped his speed down and searched the darkness for any sign of the Mustang. He was about a minute ahead of the other cars and could not yet benefit from their headlights. With a flash of lightning he was able to see a small mound in the distance. He pulled off the road and drove towards it. His heart began to pound as he drove closer. They'd found Sara. He slammed his breaks and jumped from the car. He noticed the water came up over his shoes. He ran towards the Mustang, searching for any sign of Sara. He circled around the car before he caught sight of her arm.
"Sara! It's me! We found you and we're gonna get you out!"
But Sara didn't respond. Grissom got on his hands and knees to see how badly Sara was pinned under the car, but it was too dark to see very far in. Another flash of lightning illuminated Sara's face. Grissom felt winded. She was pale, covered in blood and in dirt. She was soaked from the rain and her lips had a blue tint to them.
"Oh no, Sara," he whispered. He looked behind him. The other cars were still a minute off, and by the looks of things, Sara couldn't wait another minute for help. He had to start to get her out now. The rising water was dangerously close to her mouth. He began to move closer, but lost his footing in the mud. He hit his head, hard, against the car frame, disorienting him for a moment. He regained composure quickly and focused on Sara.
Carefully he began to pull her body from the wreckage, but she was pinned too tightly. He was only able to pull Sara out half-way on his own. He looked down at her again, and found her face was covered in gashes and bruises. He felt for a pulse but still wasn't able to find one. He pulled Sara into his lap and held her close to him. Her body was completely cold and limp in his arms. He continued to hold her, running his hand through her wet hair as the rain poured down on them. "Sara," he whispered softly into her ear. "Sara, I'm here. I'm right here just hold on."
They were still like that when help finally started to arrive. Catherine was the first to reach them, but she stopped as soon as she could see them through the rain. Grissom was there holding Sara, who was still partially trapped under the car. Both of them were covered in mud, rain, and Sara's blood... a lot of Sara's blood. She heard him softly saying her name, almost pleadingly. Catherine felt angry and sick, but she pushed her emotions aside and rushed to help Grissom.
"Gil! You need to back away so we can lift the car off her!"
Grissom didn't seem to hear her.
"Gil! You need to go. Come on, come with me."
Car doors started slamming as more people rushed in, but still Grissom hadn't moved.
Tears in her eyes now, Catherine knelt next to her friends. "If they're going to save her we need to back away, alright?" she said softly.
Slowly Grissom placed Sara back on the ground. He heard Catherine's sharp intake of breath at seeing Sara's face for the first time, but she quickly regained control of herself, gently leading Grissom away from the car. Grissom knew he had to walk away, but he almost hated himself for leaving Sara there. The team stood with him and they watched silently as Sara was finally pulled free of the car. The EMT's rushed forward and began trying to revitalize her. Grissom waited for some sign of life, but none came. Each second seemed to last forever. Finally he saw a change, but it wasn't from Sara. One EMT shook his head and the other looked at his watch. He felt as if someone had punched him in the stomach. This couldn't be right. They'd found her, they'd come to rescue her. She had to be alive. He jumped when Catherine put her hand gently on his arm. "I'm so sorry Gil." She was crying. Grissom pulled away, shaking his head wordlessly, and ran towards Sara. They were wrong, they had to be wrong! The EMT's intercepted him before he could reach her. He fell to his knees, tears in his own eyes now.
"Sara! "
But Sara didn't respond. She only lay in the mud, illuminated eerily by the flashing red and blue lights on the squad cars.
"No. Sara. Sara please..."
Suddenly he saw Sara as she'd been in life. Sara sitting bright-eyed in one of his lectures in San Franscico.
Sara standing behind him, smiling, after she'd first arrived in Vegas.
Sara standing inches from him as he pinned her against a wall, trying to solve a murder.
Sara crying as he held her hand after she'd told him about her parents.
Sara coming out of her bathroom in a robe as he talked about his own plans for death. He could hear her voice. "I'm not ready to say good-bye."
He wasn't either.
Tears raced down his cheeks as he reached out and touched her face. "I'm so sorry, Sara," he said, voice choked. He hadn't been able to save her. Natalie got the best of him one last time, robbing him of the one he valued most. He felt vaguely aware of Catherine easing him up and away from Sara. He followed her lead, numb to the world.
XXXXX
Grissom couldn't recall the days leading up to the funeral, nor much of the funeral itself. He remembered a small sea of black surrounding her coffin, and words of comfort offered to him and the other CSI's. One by one people began to trickle away, moving on with their lives. Finally only Grissom remained.
"I told you once before that I'd miss you. I didn't give you a proper good-bye then either, did I?"
A tear dropped silently onto her coffin, followed by another.
Grissom swallowed and pulled a piece of paper from his jacket. "I wrote this letter for you, when I was away. I never gave it to you, but I guess you found it anyway. I wanted to bring it back to you, it's yours," he said placing it by her grave stone. He opened his mouth to speak again, but found he couldn't speak. He laughed bitterly though his tears, "I still can't seem to say good-bye ... I love you Sara."
Grissom moved slowly away from the grave, and into his car. He waited for the tears to subside so he could see the road clearly. When he had pulled himself together as best he could he started his car and began the drive home, trying not to think about the emptiness that would great him there.
He opened the door and found his apartment the way he'd left it a few days ago, when Sara was still alive. A incomplete cross-word puzzle was out on the coffee table, just were she'd left it. Grissom sighed and walked into his bedroom. He figured he should try to get some sleep, or at least pretend to. It felt strange without Sara there with him. He lay there staring at the ceiling, watching the light fade until blackness overtook his world.
When Grissom awoke the sun was just coming up, splashing light across his room. Only this wasn't his room. Suddenly he was wide awake. Where was he? More importantly where was Sara? His head ached like it never had before. Reaching up, he felt a bandage wrapped around his forehead. He blinked the room into better focus. It was a hospital room. But why...
A soft knock on the door was followed by Catherine. "Hey there," she said with a gentle smile.
Grissom strained for understanding. "Cath? What's goin' on?"
"You hit your head."
"What? When? What about Sara?" Grissom asked in alarm, trying to get up.
"Whoa, slow down and lay back," she said with a small laugh.
"What happened?" Grissom asked again, starting to wonder if he was seeing things.
"Well what do you remember?"
With some difficulty Grissom recounted the events of the past few days.
"Well you remember everything correctly up until you reached Sara at the car. You said you hit your head? That must have been when you passed out. When we got there you'd collapsed. That's what you get for thinking you could move Sara out from under the car all by yourself?"
"Where is Sara? Is she okay?"
"She's here at the hospital. In ICU, but the doctors say she'll make it. I think they're going to move her to a regular room soon."
Grissom stared at Catherine in disbelief. "So I just... dreamed everything after I hit my head? Sara's really okay?"
"She will be. And she's certainly not dead."
Grissom closed his eyes. It had all just been a bad dream, and now it was over. Sara was safe. He opened his eyes again.
"How long have I been out?"
"A few hours. You should be able to go home today."
"I'd like to see Sara."
"Well let's get you taken care of first. I'll tell the nurse you're awake," Catherine said, gracing him with another smile before she left.
Before Grissom could fully grasp what was happening, a young Hispanic nurse came in.
"You're awake Mr. Grissom. How are you feeling?"
"Fine. I'm fine. I'd like to see another patient here though."
"Yes, a Miss Sidle. I've been informed of the circumstances under which you two were admitted to the hospital. As soon as the doctor releases you, I'm sure you can see Miss Sidle."
After a brief examination by the doctor and a little paper work, Grissom walked out of his room in search of the ICU. Still slightly disoriented, he wandered down the halls until he found what looked like the ICU. Catherine, Brass and Greg standing in the waiting room were a good indication.
"Hey, look whose up and about," Brass called.
Grissom only smiled back. Was this really real?
"Sara's right in there. ICU only admits two visitors at a time. Nick and Warrick are in with her now," said Greg.
"Naw, we got kicked out," said Nick emerging from a doorway. "Fifteen minutes per visit."
"How is she?" Grissom asked.
"Go in and see yourself, Gris," said Warrick, "Good to see you're doing better, man."
Grissom managed a smile before walking into a small room. Any doubts he had about this being real vanished as soon as he saw Sara's face. She was bruised and battered, but her face had regained a lot of its color and she'd been cleaned up. He gently took her hand; it felt warm. He could barely breathe, he'd been so sure he'd lost her.
"Hey," he whispered, unsure if she was sleeping or not, but Sara opened her eyes.
"Hey," she answered back, her voice slightly horse. "I was wondering when you would get around to coming to see me."
Grissom started to chuckle, but he felt tears in his eyes again. He quickly tried to blink them away. "Sorry it's been a long night."
"Tell me about it," she said with a half smile.
END