Chocolate414 here- I know that people have been waiting for me to update love of my life but, I've been having so many stories running through my head. So I finally typed this one. It's been on my mind for a while. Don't fret, I will be posting the third chapter to Love Of My Life this weekend. Sorry for posting so late. But I think that everyone is going to love this fic and the new chapter to LOML. Don't forget to comment this chapter.

Thanx...

Chapter 1

Blair Waldorf is sitting at a bar on an early Saturday morning with a glass of scotch and an empty feeling in her chest. Her heart is heavy and she knows that today may very well be the worst day of her life. She is dressed in a light blue gown. It is an Eleanor original and made especially for her as a bride's maid to her best friend's wedding.

Serena Vander Woodsen is marrying Carter Baizen.

While the thought of seeing Serena in a gorgeous Dolce and Gabana hand made dress sends frivolous chills down her spine, Blair cannot help but feel a tinge of bile build within in her throat. She has been in this bar for more than a couple hours with her mind going through the memories of her past with Serena. The girl, who has been with her since the first grade and forgetting only one year, has never left her sight.

Blair is struck with the knowing feeling that Serena isn't supposed to marry Carter Baizen or any man for that matter. Serena isn't supposed to be proclaiming her love to a boy that is two years older than her. She isn't supposed to become the traditional Upper East Side rich wife that their parents were. She is supposed to be much more.

She was meant to be hers.

Blair is stuck with the realization because last night she was totally fine with Serena marrying this guy. The same guy who stood up a young girl who's last name was Buckley three years ago and ran, who destroyed her cotillion five years ago, and helped her in her downward spiral that same year. Although the fact that Blair disapproves with Carter as Serena's mate has been made fairly obvious from the beginning, it has taken Blair all this time to realize that the reason why she feels Serena Vander Woodsen shouldn't be with Carter or any man for that matter is not because she disapproves of them but because she's jealous.

The notion is so far fetched that Blair throws the idea out of her mind the moment it steps inside her head. She throws it so far away that she believes that she has lost it but, when she thinks she has forgotten it somehow it comes right back to her. This knowledge has terrified her all morning and as she begins to pour herself another glass she can't help but understand this isn't the first time that she has felt this way. Her mind wonders back to when both she and Serena were fifteen.

It was summer in Manhattan and Serena and Blair were in the city shopping at a few stores looking for the perfect outfit for a party they would be attending that evening. They had plenty of shopping bags in hand and yet both girls couldn't help finding themselves in another store. Serena found a beautiful light blue Dior dress and went into the dressing room to try it on. Blair stood outside waiting for the blond to return. She momentarily found herself distracted by an Alexander McQueen dress she'd spotted in the corner of the store. The distraction would prove to be her undoing because when she turned around the dress seemed to be the furthest from her mind and the surprise and the beauty of Serena Vander Woodsen standing in front of her would cause for her to drop her dress momentarily. Serena looked beautiful. There was no other way to describe it. The dress she wore accentuated her curves in the most perfect way. Blair looked from Serena shapely legs, to her prime waist, to her large but not too large breasts, and finally to her perfect lips. But out of everything Blair remembers from that day, she remembers the way that Serena's blue eyes seemed to shine in the most radiant way and that the blue reminded her of the ocean. Serena's cheeks were starting to turn red from Blair's approving gaze.

"So... What do you think?"

Blair looked at Serena's body again and then smiled.

"You look beautiful Serena." Blair wasn't lying. She said this with a look that could only be defined as wonder and Serena felt like she was the only person in the world by the way Blair was staring at her.

"I think I'll buy it then."

"I certainly think you should."

Serena changed and Blair walked out the door with Serena. Hand in hand. Both girls rushed out the store in a hurry.

The flashback momentarily made Blair smile in a way that she hadn't done in a long time. The bartender noticed this and on an act of good faith he hopped at the chance to get on Blair's good side with a one liner.

"I hope I can have whatever you're having." He said this to Blair with a wink. Blair's smile suddenly turned into a frown.

It's three in the morning and Blair can't seem to get her mind off of Serena.

"Why did I have to think about this now? Of all days, why did I have to start analyzing the feelings I have for my best friend?" Blair leaves the bar and hails a cab. On her way home, she feels something strange run up her body. Like a shiver but, it didn't make her feel bad. It just made her feel different.

"I must have drunk to much alcohol." When she opens the door to her apartment complex she is surprised to find blue eyes staring at her from the living room area. Blair's entire body freezes. Serena is staring at her with a perplexed look. She's wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Which is awkward because it's winter. Her hair looks jumbled but since she's Serena Vander Woodsen, it also looks perfect at the same time. Blair wonders how the blond has always been able to look completely perfect with anything on.

"I've been waiting for you for the past three hours. Where have you been?" Blair finally begins to move and walks toward her bedroom. Serena follows and shuts the door.

"I was out having a drink. You should have called my cell phone." Blair walks to her bedroom sized closet and begins to change clothes. Serena is sitting on the bed with an annoyed look on her face.

"I did call. I left you four messages. Apparently your phone was off." Blair puts on a massive t-shirt. One that belongs to Serena. She walks out of her closet and picks up her phone. She notices that her phone IS actually turned off and mumbles a small apology before moving to get into bed.

Serena stares at Blair's back for a moment before she begins to speak.

"You're still angry with me for agreeing to marry Carter aren't you?" Blair doesn't move. She pretends to be sleep although both of them know that she's faking it. "Blair I know your not sleep. Please talk to me."

Blair turns around and gives Serena a pointed glare before speaking. She makes a note to herself to not give away the fact that she's in love with the blond. The brunette has a tendency of saying things that she doesn't want to when she's angry.

"I'm not angry with you Serena. I'm just tired. I want to sleep. Is there something wrong with that?" Serena arches an eyebrow and then climbs into bed. She takes off her jeans and then moves toward Blair under the sheets. Blair struggles to control the beating of her heart.

"I don't want things to change between us Blair."

"They won't."

"You know I love you. Don't you?"

"I do."

They stare at one another for what feels like hours but is really minutes. Then out of know where Serena moves forward and places a gentle kiss on Blair's lips. Blair doesn't pull away and that gives Serena the initiative to push farther. She cups Blair's cheek and kisses Blair harder. Her body moves closer to the brunette's and suddenly they both feel like they have on too much clothing. When Blair's hand crawls under Serena's shirt to unhook her bra, she stops in hesitation. It's a silent question. Blair won't do anything if Serena's not sure. When the blond moves so that her body is on top of Blair's and straddles her, she takes the t-shirt and the bra off and then throws them on the floor.

Blair knows for sure that Serena is ready.

Serena looks at Blair and smiles. They're both nervous but the way that Blair is looking at her with gentleness and a mix of something else she can't describe, makes the blond shiver.

Later, when Serena is pressing herself into Blair and her head is buried deep in the column of Blair's throat, she begins to think that she might be marrying the wrong person. They climax together and Serena can't stop kissing Blair's lips. The brunette is flushed red. There bodies are covered with a sheen of sweat and with Serena's body covering Blair's, the brunette can barely breathe. When the blonde moves so that her body is half covering Blair's and half covering the bed, the brunette inhales a deep breath. They look at each other for a moment and that's when it hits them both.

This has been there the entire time. These feelings of want, of need, of LOVE have been there since the beginning and both girls are scared shitless when the realization hits them.

LIFE IS SUCH A BITCH…

Blair pulls her body from underneath Serena's and turns so that her back is facing the blond. She can't believe that this happened.

She shouldn't have let this happen.

Serena tries not to feel hurt by the way Blair turned away from her but she can't help the sting in her heart. A tear rolls down her cheek and her only thought is.

"I might be in love with Blair." She wants to talk to the other girl but, she's too afraid to move. Instead they both fall asleep in awkward silence.

In the morning Serena wakes to an empty bed. She walks toward the closet and sees that all of Blair's clothes are gone. She puts on her robe and walks to the living room. She sees a note on the kitchen table and begins to read.

All it says is….

I'M SORRY.

Serena crumples the note in her hand and throws it at the wall. Angry tears are flowing down her face.

Her bestfriend left while she was sleeping.

Life was funny that way.

Blair is the one running away this time. Serena is the one that stays.