Serena doesn't notice the figure sitting on the hood of her car in the lot until it's too late. Panic sets in but she can't quite turn and run, not if she wants to keep up appearances, and so she presses onward calling out as she approaches "Dr. Wolfe, quite a surprise. What are you doing out here? On the hood of my car. In the middle of the night.".
"Not quite the middle of the night. Besides, it seemed as good a place as any to wait for you." Bernie rubs her hands together to warm them up against the autumn night air. "It's a bit chilly though."
"It is." Serena agrees, unlocking the boot and placing her bag in the back. "And what's wrong with our office?"
"Nothing, nothing. Except you never seem to be in it."
"That's not exactly true."
"Not exactly a lie either. I miss you Serena," Bernie confesses, looking straight ahead, voice belying the bravado in her body. "And I'd ask what I did wrong, except I think we both know." She pauses to take a breath and looks down at her hands as though they were the most fascinating things in the world. To Serena, who made her way to stand in front of her, they were up there with the Isle of Skye, Saint Petersburg, Buenos Aires. She loved Bernie's hands. She loved watching them move in surgery, or clutching a cup of coffee, or tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. She loved the faint scar along the back of the left one - she never did ask her what it was from, it seemed too personal at the time. "And I just want to say I'm sorry." Bernie finally looks up, her eyes so undeniably sad. "Not because I kissed you, because that was amazing." She laughs, they both do, they can't help it, it really was an amazing kiss, there was something to be said about their undeniable sexual chemistry after all. "But because I ruined what we had. And for what it's worth, I think we had something really good." She shrugs and smiles a sad sort of smile. The sort of smile you give when someone asks if you're alright and you can't find the words to describe the overwhelming sorrow and desolation that threatens to drown you. The sort of smile you give when you finally accept that failure is inevitable, that your dreams will never come true, that good things have ended and will never again return.
"Right, I miss you and I'm sorry. That's what I wanted to say and I've said it and now I'm leaving." She claps her hands together before moving to push herself off from her perch.
"Hold on." Serena finally speaks, raising a hand in the 'stop' motion, preventing the other woman from moving. "You've done your speech and that's well and good," She takes a breath, staring down the blonde woman before her, "But now you're going to listen to me, because… well because it's about time I have a say as well. And I've been thinking about this, about what I'd say if I ever got a chance. I've rehearsed it. In the mirror. Actually stood before a mirror and rehearsed what I wanted to say should the opportunity ever arose and now it has and…it's all gone - woosh - out the window." She laughs nervously.
"Serena?"
"I miss you too." The brunette holds her hand up once more to stop the words she can already see tumbling out of the other woman's mouth. She can feel her anger, her righteous indignation begin to rise up and and somehow the words come. Not the words she's rehearsed, but words none the less. She doesn't care if she stumbles over them, or blushes or sounds ludicrous, she just needs to get them out. "No, you've said enough. You said it would be wise if we didn't continue, if we didn't discuss the sapphic angst fest in surgery or our undeniable sexual chemistry - that is what you called it, wasn't it? Well now it's my turn. I want to discuss what happened in surgery. I want to discuss our kiss. And what's more, I want to do it again. Over and over again until neither of us can remember our own names, let alone which end of the scalpel is up. I want my friend back and I want more and God, it is exhausting to pretend otherwise. Now get off my car and think about what I've said." She stalks her way to the driver's side and gets in, going so far as to start the car and honking her horn to jolt the other woman off of her hood. "Insufferable woman," She mumbles to herself, driving away, watching the shell shocked Bernie in the rearview mirror. She's certainly earned her glass of shiraz tonight.
She's on the third glass of said shiraz, curled up on the couch not quite watching what Jason had put on the television and not quite reading the magazine in her lap when the doorbell rings. "Auntie Serena, the doorbell." Jason calls out, even though he knows she's behind him. "Yes, thank you Jason." She uncurls herself and pads over to the door, peeking out from the side window to see who it was. "Shit, shit, shit." She mutters under her breath, placing her wine glass on the table and running her fingers through her hair, tugging the hem of her oversized jumper. She certainly wishes she didn't change out of her work closes now. She flings open the door before the bell rings once more and disturbs Jason. "Hi." Bernie manages to choke out, her nerves evident. "Jason, it's Dr. Wolfe, we'll just be outside if you need anything." She calls out, before stepping outside, closing the door behind her. "What do you want Bernie?" Serena asks, very aware of the double meaning but too tired to care. "I just…" The blonde woman takes a deep breath and smiles the sort of smile that makes you feel warm from the inside out as she takes Serena's face in her hands, steps forward and kisses her lightly on the lips. "Us." She practically beams as the kiss ends. "I want an us. I want you and me and us."
"That's generally what an us is." Serena teases, eyebrow raised. "It certainly took you long enough. Come here you dim woman." She tugs lightly on the lapels of Bernie's beige coat until they're flush against each other and share a kiss to rival the intensity of their first on the floor of the surgery too many days ago.
"I'm going to bed now Auntie Serena. Hello Major Wolfe."
"Good night Jason." Bernie grins at the young man, not bothering to disengage herself fully from Serena, not even slightly embarrassed that they didn't hear the door open.
"Good night Jason." Serena echoes in a daze, not even registering the door shutting behind them. She feels Bernie wrap her arms around her tighter, drawing her coat around her.
"Don't want you to catch cold." Bernie whispers in her ear, placing a kiss on the top of her head.
"We could go inside, kill half the bottle of wine I still have left?"
"Tempting, but I have a morning shift. I just wanted to see you."
"Well I'm glad. I wanted to see you too." She nestles deeper into Bernie's embrace. They stay like that for a few more moments, just enjoying the feel of the other's arms, trying to believe this is really happening before Bernie sighs and releases the other woman. "See you tomorrow?"
"See you tomorrow." Serena confirms, bestowing one last playful kiss on Bernie's lips before gently pushing her back despite the blonde woman's groan. She watches as the other woman practically jumps off the two steps from Serena's porch and can't help but laugh out loud at Bernie's exuberance as she all but floats back to her car. She turns around and grins widely at Serena, and pushes her blonde fringe off her face before she calls out: "I do have one question."
"Yes, I'd love to go out to dinner tomorrow." Serena replies, knowing full well that wasn't the question, but now that they've started, she's eager to see where this goes.
"Excellent - but not what I was going to say."
"No?"
"Not quite. I've always wanted to know, what did you tell Jason about my hair?"
"Good night Major." Serena sing-songs before slipping back into her house.