Author's Note: I hope I haven't gone too far with this or offended anyone. Please do let me know if you think I have and I will try to alter it or take it down, as that really isn't my intention. I'm not by any means anti-religious, or anti-Christian, or trying to pigeon hole every Christian person into a homophobic role, but have recently been exposed to homophobic religious views, and it inspired me to write this. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. =) x
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Pairings: Axel / Roxas
Warnings: Character death / adult themes / prejudice / language
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Christina Perri – The Lonely:
"Dancing slowly in an empty room, can the lonely take the place of you?"
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Home was a cramped apartment on the East side of town. It was drafty, the walls were thin, and the neighbours were pricks, but it was theirs. Or at least, it used to be.
Axel felt a coldness spread across his chest and reached with shaking hands for his keys. His fingers felt slow, heavy. Cursing, he fumbled with the lock, and heard the keys drop with a thud that echoed down the empty hallway. Reaching forwards, he noticed with a sick, crawling horror the flecks of blood still engrained in his fingernails. He snatched up the keys, dragging a ragged breath into his lungs.
A noise to his right and he turned, face pale. The bottles in the bag to his side clinked together softly, a gentle reminder that peace was close, and for a moment, just a moment... he could forget.
A woman stood there, a few doors down. Mrs. Carmondy, her moth eaten dressing robe trimmed with matted fur, wearing rollers in her hair and that same scowl she shot at everyone but her precious mewing babies.
"The Duchess" Rox used to call her. "The Duchess and all her fucking cats. Maybe one day they'll do us a favour and trip her out the God damn window. "
Axel smiled to himself, and felt the pain in his chest grow. Mrs. Carmody looked down at him through her specks, sixty five years of disapproval and ignorance shining in her beady little eyes. As she spoke, Axel stared impassively at the dark smudges of lipstick smeared across her front teeth.
"You. You and that boy of yours."
Two years in this place. Two years in this shit hole, and not a single kind word from this wretched old bitch. She'd made it clear what she thought of them from day one, when she'd asked "Just the two of you…?" and reached with claw like fingers to caress the silver cross at her neck.
When Roxas nodded she'd rolled her tongue around her teeth, an ugly sneer showing her disgust at the prospect. A couple of gays, under her roof.
"S'pose so long as you pay..." She'd said, like it was some great act of charity on her part . Axel remembered how rage had built inside him, hot and fierce and ready to break free… until Roxas softly placed a hand on his arm and said "Thank you. We will."
With nowhere else to go, what choice did they have?
But even that wasn't enough. She'd leaned in close to Axel with a knowing smile and murmured, "Goin' against God my boy... and soon enough, you'll burn for it, just wait and see."
Axel felt his hands shake. God? Fuck God. Where was he when Roxas was dying? I'm burning now, he thought. Are you happy, bitch? I've been burning all my life.
And here she was again. Prejudice dressed in worn pink slippers and cruel intentions.
"You and that boy... keep it down tonight. The rest of us don't need remindin' what we live next to."
A flash of raw hate shot through Axel and oh, how he wanted to punch her straight through that fucking wall.
"No." He said, voice horse. "You don't have to worry about that."
"Oh? Well I –"
"Not anymore."
Turning back towards his door, he felt her scorn before he heard it in her voice.
"What's the matter dear? Had a tiff? That's what you get for being a fag. Never works out – "
"Careful, Mrs. Carmondy." He stared over his shoulder, and for just a moment let the mask fall. His eyes were lightning sharp, shining with a pain so dark it scraped the edge of madness, and left violence and hate in every line of his face. Even The Duchess, so hateful and empty, felt a shiver crawl up her spine. This man was dangerous. He had nothing to lose, and looked like he wanted nothing more that to tear the world apart piece by piece, starting with her.
She opened her mouth wide, a retort already spitting off the edge of her tongue... but a pure twist of fear locked it away and held her there, paralyzed.
Axel watched her stiffen, and felt a grim satisfaction as he made to open his door.
"Be gone by the time I turn this lock."
Her door slammed as his swung open, and he closed his eyes against the cold, dead silence that awaited him.
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The flat was dark, though the shadowy outlines of furniture could still be seen in the gloom. Axel's soft footsteps sounded un-naturally quiet in the familiar space. The anger coiling in his gut transformed into a pit of horror, as the same realisation rang through his mind again and again.
He's gone.
Roxas.
Forever.
The door closed with an ominous click. Axel thought of coffins and locks and leaned against it. His red hair fanned out around his face and for the first time since leaving the hospital tears began to fill his eyes.
I couldn't save him.
Axel reached into the paper bag and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. Sliding down the door he slumped to the floor, opening it with a desperate urgency. Tears flowing in a steady stream down his cheeks he wondered how it had all gone wrong so quickly.
Roxas.
He took a swig and grimaced. The whisky's sting was as sharp and familiar as those hard blue eyes.
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