I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
"Lilly? This is Gabriel." Lillian's mother held her up to peer at the little infant in Mrs. Casales' arms. The six month old little girl held her hands out, grabbing at the air in the baby's direction as she giggled. Gabriel stared up at her, then smiled. The two women laughed, exchanging glances.
"Amigos, si?"
"Yes, friends."
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
"Tengo miedo."
"Por que?" Lillian looked up at Duane Elementary, standing next to Gabriel after their mothers dropped them off to their first day of kindergarten.
"Que si los ortos no les gustame?" Gabriel shifted nervously, only 4 years old and put in kindergarten early to be with Lillian.
She grinned at him, six months older and infinitely wiser. "Tu tienes yo!" She grabbed his hand, lacing their fingers together.
"Pero los ortos…" He looked down, swinging their linked hands.
She sighed and switched to English. "You have me! C'mon, let's go!" Lillian giggled and took off into the school, dragging a slightly smiling Gabriel after her.
Now I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you
At recess, Gabriel got pulled off with a group of boys to kick a ball around, laughing and grinning and leaving Lillian standing by the playground, nervously looking around at the others.
"What are you looking at?" An older girl glared at her, making Lillian squeak and shake her head.
"Nothing, nothing!" She looked down.
"Aww, little baby! So scared!"
"I-I'm not scared!" Lillian looked up defiantly, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Yeah, right!" The older girl snorted and came towards Lillian. Lillian's eyes got wide and she backed up a few steps, suddenly aware of the growing audience on the playground.
"Lilly!" A small voice cut through the crowds and Gabriel pushed his way to her, grabbing her hand. "Come play with me!"
"Yeah, okay…" Lillian nodded and let Gabriel pull her away to play soccer with the boys. "Thanks…" she muttered, casting a glance over her shoulder at the older girl, who had gone back to playing with her friends.
He grinned at her. "Tu tienes yo, si?"
"Si, Gabey."
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
"If you don't audition, I'm disowning you."
"You can't disown me, we're not related."
"We might as well be!" Lillian grabbed Gabriel's hand, pulling him in the direction of the classroom where they were holding auditions for the middle school musical. Six years later, in 6th grade, they were still inseparable. Still did everything together, still utterly dependent on each other. Gabriel had his male friends, the boys he played with during recess, and Lillian had her female friends, the girls she giggled and gossiped with. But Gabriel and Lillian were always a pair, joined at the hip.
"I don't want to audition!" They passed a seventh grade boy, who laughed at Gabriel and waved to them.
"Hi Snoddy!" Lillian waved back and kept dragging Gabriel down the hall. "Tough luck! I played softball for two years because you wouldn't do it on your own!"
"This is different. Mama made me do that. No one's making you audition for this show."
"Come on, Gabey. For me?" She halted and grabbed both his hands, pouting up at him. He sighed.
"Fine. I'll audition-" He was cut off by her squeal of joy and she tackled him in a hug. Behind him, he could hear Snoddy laughing.
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good.
"Come on, who's going to know! Just one sip, Gabe!"
"You have got to be kidding me." Gabriel stared at Lillian and the cup she held out to him. They were twelve, it was Christmas Break, and Lillian's mother was out.
"You're going to make me drink this all myself?" Lillian pouted and took another sip, curled up on the couch. Her eyes turned to the TV, on a marathon of old musicals.
"Lilly, I know what you're feeling and you can't do this." Gabriel reached over to pull the cup out of her grip, taking a sniff and gagging. "What did you put in this?"
"There is no way in hell you know what I'm feeling. He's dead, Gabriel, and Mom's gonna marry Frank and everything's gonna go to hell." She didn't look away from the TV, just held out a hand for the cup. "A splash of everything in Mom's liquor cabinet. And Coke. Gimme."
"Lilly, maybe you should see a therapist…" He shrugged and handed the cup back to her.
She snorted. "You're my therapist."
"I'd be an awful therapist. I'm letting you drink."
"Maybe I need it." She shrugged, taking a long drink.
"Maybe you do…" He sighed and leaned back, his head in her lap.
"You should be telling me not to do this."
"Yeah, well, you're not going to listen. So I'm just gonna make sure you don't get caught."
She giggled, patting his head. "I'm a horrible influence."
"The absolute worst," he agreed, looking over at the TV. "What the hell is she wearing?"
Lillian looked over at the TV and burst out laughing. Gabriel smiled to himself. Mission Distract-Lilly-From-Her-Dad's-Death complete.
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part,
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
"Crouch down a bit, I can't reach!" Lillian reached her hands up to fuss with Gabriel's hat.
He laughed and bent down to allow her to quickly pin it to his curls so it laid flat. "Better?"
"Perfect." She grinned and fixed the tassel before allowing him to stand up straight. He smoothed down his black robe and chuckled as she slapped away his hands to fix it herself.
"God, Lilly. Leave it." He shook his head and gently flicked her tassel to send it swinging.
She rolled her eyes. "This is one of the most important days of our lives, Gabe. You need to look perfect.
"Lilly, it's just high school graduation."
"Yeah, but—"
"Miss Perkins! What are you doing up here with the Cs? Get back in line!" Lillian smiled in apology at the teacher and quickly hugged Gabriel.
"Good luck! Don't trip!"
"Break a leg on your speech, Lilly." He hugged her back and pushed her towards her spot in line. She laughed and made a heart with her hands before slipping off to join the Ps. Gabriel grinned and tilted his hat as soon as her back was turned, just to annoy her.
After the ceremony (where Gabriel was recognized as one of the top students in the class and Lilly gave her speech where she asked the students to measure their last year at Duane High in a Rent metaphor she was very proud of sneaking past the administration) Lillian waved to Gabriel and started to make her way over to him before she saw Snoddy, back from college. She grinned and ran at him, practically jumping into his arms for a hug.
Gabriel laughed before someone grabbed his arm and he turned to see Lucy, who pulled him into a kiss. He grinned and wrapped his arms around her as all around them, the graduates celebrated and caps flew in the air.
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have rewritten mine
By being my friend
"I can't believe you're going to California."
"It's a great school and they gave me a full scholarship."
Lillian hit pause on the Doctor Who episode on her laptop and rolled on her side to face Gabriel. "But it's so far away."
"Yeah, I know." Gabriel rubbed his neck, glancing down. "But we can Skype and I'll be home for breaks and we're got the summers." He glanced over at her, smiling slightly.
"We've barely got summers. A week at the start and two weeks at the end, that's it." She rolled her eyes. Lillian worked as a counselor at a theatre camp upstate for the past two summers and the camp was desperate to keep her on through college.
Gabriel sighed and nodded. "But we'll Skype. Every day if you want to."
Lillian laughed. "No, I can get by without your voice every single day. Still. I'm stuck in New York and you're going to California."
"You're not stuck in New York, you're going to SUNY and that's your dream."
"My dream was Julliard, but—"
"—But they're ridiculously selective and don't have a musical theatre major." Gabriel joined in on the familiar refrain.
He rolled his eyes. "I know."
Lillian giggled. "Anyway. Stanford. Wow." She bit her lip and looked down at the bedspread. "I can't believe you're flying out tomorrow."
"I know." Gabriel reached out to pull her against him in a hug. "I'm gonna miss you too."
Like a ship blown from it's mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you,
I have been changed for good
"I miss you."
"Hey, Lilly, how are you?"
"I miss you."
"Well, duh." Gabriel grinned at his laptop screen, where Lillian pouted at him. "I miss you too."
She giggled at that. "How's California?"
"Good. Warm. How's New York?"
"Okay. It's weird, not having you next door and not living in the city."
"Yeah, well, you're only 40 minutes away."
"Yeah." She made a face at the webcam. "How are your classes?"
"Great. Really great." He grinned. "I love them, so much more interesting than high school. How's SUNY?"
"Amazing. Really. I love it. We get to do auditions for credit, five every semester and more if we can. So I've got an early one tomorrow."
"Great! Let me know how it goes?"
"Of course, duh." She stuck out her tongue and giggled. "I've got to get to bed. Love you, Gabe."
"Okay. Love you too, Lilly."
And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for
"I can't believe you can't take off work for my wedding."
"I'm sorry, Gabe. I just got the part and I really don't know if I can even take a couple of days off. I'd be there if I could."
"I know. But Lilly, this is the biggest day of my life. Are you sure?"
"I'm so sorry, Gabe. I want to, I really do, but I can't. I want to more than anything in the world!"
"I know, Lilly. I'll talk to you later."
Gabriel hung up his cell phone and leaned his forehead against the fridge for a moment before dialing a different contact on his phone.
"Hey, Snitch?"
"Hey, Itey! What's up?"
"Well, I'm getting married—"
"Really? That's great, Itey, congratulations!"
"Thanks, Snitch." Gabriel smiled into the phone. "Anyway, I was wondering if you'd like to be my Best Man? The wedding's May 8th, I understand if you're busy—"
"Itey, are you kidding? I'd love to! But, you know, I totally thought you would have Lilly as your Best Man. Or Best Woman, actually."
Gabriel paused a moment before responding. "She just landed a new role, she can't make it out."
"Oh. Well, I'm honored to be your first choice male for your Best Man."
Gabriel laughed. "You'd have still been a groomsman. I didn't even actually ask Lilly, she said she probably couldn't make it out as soon as I told her the date."
There was a pause. "I'm sorry, man."
"Yeah. Me too."
But then I guess we know
There's blame to share
And none of it seems to matter anymore!
"Why can't you come to my opening night?"
"I can't take off work!"
"Oh, come on. They're not going to miss you."
"You aren't coming to my wedding!"
"I told you, the theatre is different, it's—"
"And I was going to ask you to be my Best Man!"
There was silence on the phone. "Well… why didn't you?"
"Because you said you couldn't make it!"
"Probably. I said I probably couldn't make it. I mean, if I had known, I would have done my best to be there."
"Why does that make it different?"
"Well, honestly, I didn't think your fiancé liked me enough to let me be your Best Man. Woman. Whatever."
"No, no, she loves you, really…"
"…Right. Because dragging me into the hallway when you guys came for a visit and demanding to know if we've ever dated just reeks of adoring me…"
"She's, um…"
"She's threatened by me. Do you really want me to be your Best Man?"
"I already asked Snitch."
He heard laughter. "Look. If it means that much to you, I'll see about getting a few days off. And I'll be your honorary Best Woman so your lovely bride doesn't rip my head off."
"Really?"
"Really really. Tu tienes yo, recuerdo?"
"Si, Lilly. Yo tengo tu."
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood
At the reception, Lillian clinked glasses with Snitch by the bar, watching the newlyweds dance. "Good speech, Official Best Man."
"Thanks, Honorary Best Woman. You giving a speech?"
"Nah. I would, I'm so good at them, but she hates me." She held her glass out in the direction of Gabriel's new wife. "I wrote one, though."
"And...?" Snitch raised an eyebrow, grinning.
"And I'm going to record myself reading it tonight and send it to Gabe." She grinned back. "So he doesn't have to show it to her. And if he wants, I'll send it to all our old school group who were here."
"You do that. I'd love to hear it." Snitch took a sip from his drink. "Not gonna dance with the groom? Not even because you two are closer than close and you shouldn't give a damn what she thinks?"
She rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to ruin her wedding. But she better get used to me. Gabe promised I'd be godmother for all his kids." She smirked, making Snitch laugh.
Who can say if I've been
Changed for the better?
I do believe I have been
Changed for the better
"Is this on? I think it's on. Crap, hold on…. Yes, it's on. Right. Well. Hey Gabe. I wrote you a speech. Didn't read it, cause your wife's a bitch to me. Sorry, I had five glasses of wine at your reception and I won't be able to remember recording this tomorrow. You know, if I drank that much in high school I'd be blacked out by now. Guess my alcohol tolerance has gone up since starting professional theatre. Not by much, but better, yeah? Fuck, Snoddy hated me drinking… What am I saying?
"Oh. Right. Speech. Recording and emailing this to you and the rest of our awesome school friends at the reception.
"Gabriel Casales. I've known you six months short of forever. I don't know what twist of fate brought us to grow up as next-door neighbors and the best of friends, but I'm glad. I've always been glad. You've always been there for me, to keep me from doing the really stupid stuff and to let me do the mildly stupid things I had to do. I honestly can't imagine where I'd be if you weren't in my life. Not an SUNY graduate on Broadway, that's for sure.
"I don't want to bore you or our lovely high school friends with how much my home life sucked in high school and how I wanted to end it all a couple of times, but you were always there for me. Even without me telling you anything or being anything but cheerful and perfect in school, you somehow knew and would come over with ice cream and your sisters' Disney movies, or invite me over to family game night, or just drag me out of the apartment during those times when I felt like I was going to explode. You never asked me what exactly was wrong, just didn't leave me alone. You stayed with me through everything. And you've made me a better person, made me look past the suck and focus on the bright future you always said you knew I would have.
"So. Gabe, I wouldn't be where I am today without you. I haven't been as good a friend. I've been whiny, self-centered, dumped you for my boyfriends, manipulated you, etcetera, etcetera. And you've always been there. You are the single most selfless, kindest, most amazing person I know and I wouldn't trade your friendship for anything. So your lovely bride better get used to me, because I don't intend to leave your life anytime soon and I'm dying for a pack of little godchildren to spoil. I wish you all the happiness in the world, Gabey, because you deserve it more than anyone. I meant to share an embarrassing story about you, but I can't for the life of me think of one. All I can think of it what an amazing person you are and how lucky I am and how lucky everyone else is to have you in our lives.
"Fuck, I'm crying. Where's the off button? Damn it, I need a tissue, my mas—"
And because I knew you...
Because I knew you...
Because I knew you...
I have been changed for good.