Because, yes, I can write an IzaKida fic without going into great detail about their fun in the bedroom.
I still don't own Durarara!
"Hey, Masaomi-kun?"
Kida grimaced. When Izaya used that voice, that airy, upbeat lilt, it meant trouble for the informant's young employee. "Yeah…?"
"Do you remember that time when we hooked up while I was on the phone?"
The teen raised an eyebrow and flipped onto his stomach on the couch, now interested in what the man had to say. "Mhm. Why?"
Izaya's smirk was deadly as he rested his cheek on his hand and gazed at the boy. "I have a boring client coming over today for a quick piece of information, and I was hoping to make it more…exciting."
"We're not doing it while someone watches," Masaomi said flatly.
"That's not what I meant. Come here." Kida rolled off the couch and approached the man, who shoved him to his knees. Izaya bent over on his chair and cupped the boy's face to kiss him briefly. "Let's put that mouth to good use."
"What will you do for me?"
"The thrill of being caught isn't enough for you?"
"Not if I can't get anything out of it."
"Fine. What's your price?"
"I want double pay for the rest of the week."
"Deal. Now get under the desk. He'll be here any minute."
"You two are disgusting."
Izaya looked to the side to see his secretary at another desk. "Why? Because we're kinky?"
"Never mind. I don't feel like discussing your sex life."
The informant smiled. "Can you answer the door for me, Namie-san?"
The woman rolled her eyes and stood, not surprised to hear a knock just before she stepped into the foyer. She opened the door and directed a young boy to Izaya's desk. The man's countenance remained even as warmth grew in his abdomen.
"Hello there, Ryugamine-kun. I wondered when you'd make your way over here." He lowered his hand and coaxed a blond head forward, displeased that the ministrations had stopped simply because Masaomi was a friend of his client. His hand returned to his desk when Kida slowly, quietly resumed his activity.
"I guess you know why I'm here, then?"
"I have an idea, but I'd like to hear it from you."
"I haven't seen my friend, Kida Masaomi, for awhile now, and I'm starting to worry. Do you happen to know where he is?"
"Masaomi-kun isn't the type to abandon his friends. He is a young man of integrity, who would never leave those he cares for in the dark about where he's run off to. Have you considered the possibility that he doesn't want you to find him? Maybe your friendship isn't as strong as you—ah!" Teeth grazed him in a manner far from playful. Clearly, Masaomi didn't agree with the interpretation of the boy's actions.
"Orihara-san, are you alright?"
"Yes, I'm fine. I've had some leg pain recently, and it flares up randomly. It usually goes away if I move it." He kicked forward, gently connecting his foot with the teen's stomach. A muffled, pained noise floated up from beneath the desk.
Mikado raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. Izaya was about to reach under the desk, but Masaomi began bobbing his head again without encouragement.
"So, do you know where he is?"
"He's still living in Ikebukuro, but he's been spending an increasing amount of time here in Shinjuku due to a new job he's taken."
"He hasn't been kidnapped or run off somewhere?"
"Nope." Izaya bit his lip and bowed his head, shutting his eyes as heat rushed out of his body. After a few moments, he looked at the worried teenager, who now wore a confused face. He clearly wanted to question the informant about his odd behavior, but learning Masaomi's whereabouts was of greater importance.
"I've been to his place a few times, but he's never there. I asked a neighbor, and she hasn't seen him for about two months."
"He is still living at that residence, but I know that he stays with someone in Shinjuku quite frequently because it's located fairly close to where he works."
"Do you know where he is right now?"
"Yes, I do. He isn't far from us."
"Really?" Mikado's face lit up. "Where is he?"
"I'm not sure if it would be appropriate for me to disclose that information to you."
"What do you mean? I'm paying you for this." He stepped forward and placed an envelope on the man's desk.
"It's not a matter of money." He bridged his hands and smiled. "You see, I'm not certain that Masaomi-kun wants you to know where he is."
"Please, Orihara-san. I just need to see that he's safe. I have to know what's going on."
"I think that Masaomi-kun would be flattered that you care so greatly for him. I suppose I could tell you his exact location. Otherwise, he could tell you, himself."
"Really?"
"Yes. Actually, I think he'd prefer to explain the situation. He doesn't particularly enjoy the way I describe what's going on in vivid detail. I'd be glad to tell you everything, but he might be upset with me. It would be best if he told you."
"Great. Where can I meet up with him? And when?"
"I'd say here, any time now." He waited a few moments. "Well, if he doesn't show up, I have an obligation to tell my client. So, Ryugamine-kun, at this moment, he's in my apartment."
The boy was quiet for a few seconds as he processed the information. "He's here?"
"Yes. Masaomi-kun, would you like me to tell him where you are, and why you ended up in such a place? Or would you prefer to explain?" Silence passed. Izaya held up his finger. "You'll have to give him a few moments to collect himself. I can't tell if he's laughing or hyperventilating. Either way, he's ready…now."
Sure enough, Masaomi scooted away from the desk and stood up, a light pink blush covering his cheeks.
"K-Kida?"
"Hey, Mikado…"
"Why were you under Orihara-san's desk?"
"I, uh, was…massaging his leg, because of his…injury."
Izaya snickered. "He did an exceptional job, if you were wondering." He looked up at the boy. "Masaomi-kun, lean down." The teen reluctantly obeyed. Izaya wiped white liquid off Kida's chin with a finger, and then brought the digit to his own mouth. He offered no explanation when he returned his gaze to his client.
"I swear I'm going to murder you," Masaomi seethed.
"Ah, but there's a witness." He gestured to his right.
Namie didn't look up. "I'm on the kid's side. It was cruel to trick him into doing that when you knew his friend was coming."
"Doing what?" Mikado asked.
"She means massaging his leg," Kida mumbled.
Mikado saw the blush covering the teen's face and Izaya's grin. He considered what he knew: Masaomi was under Izaya's desk; Izaya had wiped something off of the boy's chin and licked it.
Mikado's eyebrows flew up. "Kida, w-were you getting Orihara-san off while we were talking?"
Kida's pink blush turned bright red, and he avoided Mikado's eyes. "N-no! That's not… I would never touch him like that! H-he's gross."
"Gross? That's not how you described me last night. Well, part of me."
"I-I'll call you soon, Kida." Mikado quickly scurried out of the apartment.
As soon as the boy left, Masaomi stormed into the bedroom and slammed the door shut.
Izaya stood up and headed towards the staircase. "Namie-san, hold my calls for today. Masaomi is at his best when he's angry." He smirked as he entered his bedroom, locking the door behind him.