Finland walked slowly into a room with no way out. As he passed through the door, it disappeared, leaving Finland alone in a room so white he had to squint or risk blinding himself. Finland looked up at the only non white thing in the room – a giant digital clock that read 0.

"Hey there."

Finland snapped his gaze from the clock that didn't read time and a man was standing before him as if he had just popped out of the ground. At least, Finland thought it was a man. He was wearing all white, so all Finland could see were flashes of dark brown skin on his face and arms where the white didn't swallow him up.

"W-Who are you?"

"The important question, my dear, is who are you?"

The stranger looked Finland up and down, and Finland felt just a little like he was being raped by the stranger's eyes.

"I-I'm Finland."

"FFFFFinnnnland," the stranger stretched out his name as if tasting it. "That is a very nice name, I think. You look like a Finland."

"Uh, thanks?" Finland replied. "Who are you?"

Before the stranger could answer, another voice from behind Finland spoke "Who are we, you mean?"

Finland whirled around and found the stranger standing behind him. "That's impossible," Finland said to himself. He whirled back around and there were two identical copies of the same stranger standing where the first had been just a second before. "What the hell?"

"Anything is possible," said three voices from somewhere to his left, "when you are India."

Finland spun in a slow circle and there now had to be a dozen clones of this stranger – India – just standing around him. Staring.

He looked up at the clock, but now the number read 12.

"What?"

"It measures how many of us there are," another India whispered into Finland's ear. "It helps when we have company. Although I don't think we've ever had anyone quite as… alluring as you are, Finland."

"T-Thanks," said Finland, trying to pretend that he wasn't somehow immensely turned on.

Finland looked up again, but now the clock read 100. Finland was surrounded by Indias.

"Where are you all coming from?" Finland asked.

"We are a highly populated country," one of the Indias shouted to him, "we can clone ourselves whenever we feel like it."

Finland looked up at the clock again. It now read 1017.

Finland looked around himself, and all he could see was a sea of India's faces, smiling eerily at him.

Finland looked up again and the clock now read 1014.

"I'm pretty sure your number just went down."

"What?" one of the India's shrugged, "A country's gotta eat."

"WHAT?"

"Oh, I think we've scared him…" one of the Indias said.

Finland closed his eyes and curled up in a tight ball, hoping they would all just go away.

Then Finland felt a tap on his shoulder. He didn't want to open his eyes, but he had to.

Finland looked up to see just one India standing before him. The clock read 1.

"I sincerely apologize, my Finland," he said. "I simply wanted to impress you."

Finland stood silently, and stepped closer to India. "It worked," Finland whispered seductively into India's ear.

India's smile was so big it looked like it might split his face in half. The pair held hands and took their leave out a door that appeared conveniently in front of them.

After the door closed, all that could be heard was one lone India voice in the large white room:

"How come he's the one that gets lucky tonight?"