Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games. Suzanne Collins does. And sadly, I'm not her.

Remembering the Fallen: The Story of the Book

I had gotten the idea at first. I thought at first that I would be able to remember all of them, cope with the pain that filled my life after the rebellion, but as the time went on, it became harder and harder. Some of them I would think of everyday. Prim, Rue, Finnick. Some of them I would only think of after already a couple of weeks. Portia, Mitchell, Castor. I didn't want to, but with a now sane Panem, it was easy to go on with your life, and have all of the memories drift away from you, continue on, and live your life in peace. I mean, nightmares still haunt me, and of course, Peeta is still there everytime, but other than that, they slowly drift off, like seeds in wind. I don't like having that happen. They all played such a crucial role, and simply forgetting about them alltogether over a period of time is unthinkable in my head.

It hit me when I was thinking one day. Light, delicate snowflakes drifting softly over the leafless trees in Peeta and I's backyard, it was beginning to be colder as the weeks went by. Winter was beginning to come, which had it's advantages and disadvanges. It reminded me of my memories of the fallen, the ones lost in the Capitol's harsh ways and acts. The trees in our backyard had been the passed victors and those lost in the rebellion and war. It's strong, provides protection, and was welcoming. They had and still do give me strength, determination, so I can fight the horrible memories and thoughts that still accompany me during my everyday challenges. The snow being time and the world. Time, because things slowly cover things up until it's a blanket covering the tree. World, because the world moves on, covers things up with more issues, as the world will never have anything completely figured out. And I was the one person looking through the window, observing it all and taking it in for me to remember.

After that observation, I had headed over to Peeta and I's bedroom, and reached under our bed for the familiar short, but long brown box. I had pulled it out, and looked at the contents, everything had been still there, all of my possessions from the old District 12, the one where I wasn't in the games, every morning I was going and hunting with Gale, and Prim was never reaped, and I had never volunteered for her. Of course, there are a couple that are from later, like Peeta's Pearl that he gave me in the Quell, my crown from the first games, and infamous Mockingjay pin, but mostly from before the horrible games that changed my life forever, before all of the madness began, and eventually, died off and ended. I had rifled through the stuff, until I had found what I wanted. It was my plant identification book from when I was hunting with Gale every morning. It had an old leather cover, but the inside was plain sheets of yellowing paper, delicate and thin. The cover was scratched with the name: Colienon Everdeen.

I had flipped through the pages one-by-one, carefully observing all of the photos my father had drawn so long ago. The color's were still bold and lifelike, an acomplishment that surprised me. That's when the idea had hit me. My father had made this book so that he could remember plants so he could know which was poisonous or non-poisonous, edible and non-edible, where you could find them, and so on. Of course, none of the victors or rebels were poisonous, or edible, in this case, but the similarity of remembering the fallen and remembering the plants through a book definitely had me intrigued and interested in creating something similar. I suggested the idea to Peeta, and he seemed to think that it was a good idea. Haymitch had been inside the house too, so we both went up and suggested the idea to him. He found it smart, but he only wanted one person on his behalf in the book. Maysilee Donner. During that time I couldn't help but feel horrible for him. I could tell that he still loved her, but I at that time I also knew that he knew deep down in his soul he knew that she wasn't coming back. I had wondered, though, what would have happened if she had won, if Haymitch had died. Things would certainly be different, as from what I had knew at the time, she didn't seem like a person that would turn to alcohol after time passed. But then again, I had also knew that from the video the Peeta and I had watched during the Quell, it didn't seem as if he was going to be a drunk, either.

The next couple of days and weeks, we all had made a list of the people that we want inside of it on our behalf. Haymitch had added one person: Chaff. I remember before the Quell that they had been buddies. Sharing liquor bottles, trash talking about the Capitol and whatnot, and just simply sharing a laugh whenever they were together. Unfortunately, we had lost Chaff in the Quell, due to Brutus who had killed him. Peeta, on the other hand, only had a couple of people on his list. There was Portia, and his prep team, Kalae, Malaya, and Marisana. So it was up to me. I had to take responsibility to list down everyone, not forget anyone, and ensure all of the information was correct. There were a lot of people. So, so many. All had that special quality personal to them, that helped me in sometime, whether it be during the games, rebellion, war, or even before all of it or after all of it.

It took me weeks to decide, to remember everyone. It reminded me of when Peeta and I were on the victory tour, and I was trying to figure out who to put in. There were plenty of paper thrown out, hundreds of tears cried, and more than enough comforting hugs from Peeta, who was always there. He lent me a hand when I needed one, sometimes when I didn't, but there was no use trying to tell him off when he is such a sweet guy. I must have spent hours in Peeta and I's bedroom desk, trying to figure out who to put, who to include in this book that will help all of us remember the fallen. But finally, I had made up my mind. I started at the beginning, with the only one that truly honored me in the 74th Annual Hunger Games:

Rue, The 74th Annual Hunger Games

I was thinking of putting in the other tributes, but I stayed true to myself and remembered that Peeta, Rue, and I were the only people I really cared about in the games. After much thinking, I went onto the Quarter Quell. There were so many victors that I cared about, so this list was much longer than the previous one. But each were very important to me, and I couldn't afford to forget any of them:

Mags, The 75th Annual Hunger Games

Wiress, The 75th Annual Hunger Games

Chaff, The 75th Annual Hunger Games

Seeder, The 75th Annual Hunger Games

I could have made the list longer, but I knew that I had to listen to myself and choose who I really thought had changed me. Plus, there were more people in the rebellion that had to be mentioned, and I couldn't forget about them. It was harder, much harder, though. You would think that it would simply be writing down the names, and the reason of their death (Hunger Games, Rebellion, War, etc.). I had thought that at first too. But no, you can't just think about that. There was so many aspects of each of the people, the reason why you remembered them and why you wanted to remember them. The rebellion seemed the hardest because of all the dedication of the people, and they never really got to see the end of it, to see if what they were fighting for in the very beginning carried on and dominated the opposing side, which in this case, was the Capitol. They never really got to see how things are now, with no Hunger Games, no Capitol and a safe place, in a Panem that they desired so much:

Finnick Odair, Rebellion

Primrose Everdeen, War

Madge Undersee, Rebellion

The Mellarks, Rebellion

Majority of Citizens from District Twelve, Rebellion

Boggs, Rebellion

Cinna, Rebellion

Peeta's Prep Team, Rebellion

Portia, Rebellion

Mitchell, Rebellion

Castor, Rebellion

Homes, Rebellion

Darius, Rebellion

Lavinia, Rebellion

Messalla, Rebellion

Lyme, War

Leeg 1&2, Rebellion

It must have been one of the most mentally hardest things that I have ever done. The people all had influenced my life, whether in a big or a small way. And the simple thing of writing their name on a page of paper along with the main reason of their death had brought up hundreds of tears, all meaning more and more as they slid down my face in a soft manner. I had wished that they would all have come back, but I had knew that they we could never bring them back. But there's still that thought of bringing them back. What would happen? There would hopefully be not too much conflict, since mostly all were rebels, and that they were all on the same side. But then again... There were a whole lot of people from the Capitol, and they could have easily changed there mind. But then I had stopped myself, before I could upset myself even more. I had brought the list to Peeta, and by then, both him and Haymitch had given me their lists, for me to validate. Both were quite small, but I remember Peeta saying that it was me that they cared about, the Girl on Fire, The Mockingjay, The Tribute, The Victor, The Fighter. Peeta had already gone out with Haymitch and found a book suitable for this purpose, as they thought that it would last pretty well throughout time as it passed. They already had gotten someone to engrave the name, Remembering the Fallen, and had cleaned it up. It was perfect for what it was representing.

I had made one more final list of all of the people who were wanted in the list, and began. Each person got a page, complete with a picture and a qualities that made them remembered. They also had the reason of their death, and a quote that stuck in our heads whenever we had thought of that person. Peeta had drawn the photos, based off of memory. They were impressive, and he used some watercolor paints to make the picture match the person. Finnick's bronze hair, Madge's pale skin, and Rue's dark brown eyes were amongst the most beautifully done. Each colour had individual aspects to them that made them so attractive and striking, it only further enhanced the true portraits.

Haymitch had done a big part, as he had been the one that planned majority of the quotes. Haymitch was the one who was with me and Peeta a lot of the time, but also was drunk a whole bunch of the time, so a lot of the quotes were really messed up. But Peeta and I didn't mind helping him, and it was evident in his steel grey Seam eyes that he was serious about this. He wanted to play a part, not just be the drunk who looked at the finished product and knew that he didn't add anything. He was even sober when he was working with us on the book, a surprise to both Peeta and I. We were never really quite sure how involved Haymitch was in anything, but ever since we told him about the book he seemed more serious than ever before. More than after the first games, when he whispered about the Capitol's reaction to our suicide attempt, when we were "madly" in love during the Victory Tour and the Quarter Quell, more than when he had told me that Peeta had been taken by the Capitol, and more serious than the Rebellion itself. He was going to ensure that we had gotten this finished, no matter what the cost, physically and mentally.

It started slow, and at first it really didn't look like what it was going to be, what it had came together. We had started by me writing all of the names on the paper, in no particular order. Then Peeta had drawn and painted the portraits. They had been in so much detail, it was almost like they were on the paper, but they couldn't come out. After, we added stats, such as district, age when they had left us, cause of death (Most were caused by the Capitol, but what cruel thing that happened that caused their death), and if they had won a games then that was listed too. Below was a detailed section dedicated to what made them so memorable, what made them in this book, what had been so special about them. And at the very bottom of the page was a memorable quote that meant something to us, and had truly showed their significancy. Once the page was finished, we would stare at awe for a few moments, then continue on, whether it be Boggs, Homes, Wiress, or whoever's name was on the next page. We had put our hardest into all twenty-two of them, as none of them deserved less than the other, and none of them deserved more. They all played an irreplacable role that had affected each of us equally, that no one was better than the other in any way.

It had been weeks, but they had all been finished and completed. We would flip through, carefully observing all of our hard work. At the same time, we were also remembering the ones that we had lost. Whether it be a Hunger Games, the Rebellion, or even the bombing, everyone was included. They all had a special place in our hearts, a place that would never go away, for the remainder of our lives. I could never let them go. When they left I had to get past it, face the real world without them by my side. But they were drifting away from me. I was slowly letting go of the string, and beginning to hold onto others. Not necessarly more important, but I had to move on and carry on, and hold onto other strings.

At that time, we had marvelled at what we had done. It was perfect, exactly what we needed. We had decided to keep it in Peeta and I's house, considering that although Hazelle was doing a spectacular job keeping Haymitch's house relatively neat and clean, it wasn't perfect, and it could easily be misplaced in all of the clutter that fills up his home. There was a little ledge above the fireplace in our living room, and had hardly anything on it. It was displayed, and there whenever I wanted to look back and remember the people who made me who I truly am today. I was proud of it, and from the look on Haymitch and Peeta's eyes I could tell that they were proud of it. They had every right to. I knew we finally had that small thing that could let us continue on with our lives, but also allow us to remember the fallen. That we could all let go, yet hold on.

The feeling that I personally got from the book was something I had never felt at any other time. Not when Peeta and I had won the games, not when I had killed President Coin, and certaintly not when I had reunited when Peeta after he was rescued from the Capitol. More like a feeling of joy. Peeta had commented that I had a smile on my face, something that he hadn't seen in a while. I couldn't have blamed him. After what was happening at that time, I had every right to be frowning. But, the thought that I will not forget about the important people while I continue with my life had brought up a smile. It most certaintly wasn't easy, but now that it was finished I had felt amazing. These people were so dedicated to what they wanted, and they never really had the oppourtunity to see what things had transformed into. We fought, and we won. We lost some, and attempted to remember them. We failed, but we found a way to remember the fallen. We felt glory, pride, hope, and joy, as we all had knew that they were never to be forgotten, with this valuable piece of work will ensure that it'll never happen. And I knew that it wouldn't. With this book, the fallen will always be with us.

And with that feeling I finally felt ready to take on the world as it is now, while Remembering the Fallen, with the book.

By FireBreadandSnares

Hello to all that made it here! I hope that you enjoyed my one-shot, as I have been working on it for a couple of weeks, now, and I am proud of it. There is a part 2 of this, but it'll be as another story. Please review, as I have been working on this for weeks. And I mean weeks. But anyways, just thanks for reading, I hope that I can thank you somehow. Thanks, and have a lovely day!

FireBreadandSnares

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Review. It's not that hard, is it?