Gelous
I watched her as I always watched her. I could see her hair trailing behind her, the sun only having been up for a few earthly hours, and already falling out of the band pulling it away from her face. In her exasperation, she placed a hat upon her head, which was a vibrant color I had not previously seen with my Shinigami eyes. Above her head, pulsing like the death sentence it was, lied the fate that threatened to consume me. Today was her last day.
I watched her, wondering if she could feel her numbers decreasing. My hands shook, as she walked down that darkened road. A chill ran down my spine, and I felt my mouth twitch in fear. Not her…Not Misa. There was always this hope, in the back of my mind, that someday I could go down to Earth. Rather than watch her from this distance…
Give her a Death Note, let her see me. Acknowledge me, but all hope for that was gone now.
I could hear Rem walking towards me, and I silently willed him away. He paused, almost as if he could feel my sorrow. My fear. My pain.
Things that a Shinigami wasn't meant to feel. But feel I did, if only for her.
"This is her last day." I could hear him murmur. And I could only nod.
For it was, Misa's last day.
How long had I watched her? Years…
It was she who reminded me why I allowed myself to go on, as the lonely existence of a Shinigami in the realm of damnation. It was she who provided me solace on the darkest of days and nights.
And now that was going to be gone.
I watched, as a man approached her, knife in hand. My heart raced, and my hands trembled against my own Death Note. Rem stood behind me, eyeing me with curiosity. I could only look at him with sadness. Sadness for Misa, for myself, and for him. Sadness for him because he had never felt any form of compassion for another.
But I did. I could feel an emotion taking root inside of me, and it threatened to tear me apart.
Lo-…. No. I felt no such thing.
I watched as she refused him. And as his eyes darkened with madness, something common in the human realm. My hands tightened, and I opened my Death Note, as Rem crouched behind me. Not Misa…. Not her…
I scribbled the man's name in my book, an act of desperation, as he thrashed his knife at her.
Horror flashed upon me. What had I done? And yet, I felt no regret.
I could feel my very soul crumbling apart, a response to the emotions I was feeling, and the actions they resulted in.
I had given my life for her, for Misa. Because I loved her….
I love Misa.
And at that thought, everything faded, and I could see her numbers going up… and feel my own disappearing.