~Behind Those Hazel Eyes-Kelly Clarkson~ Disclaimer: Do Not Own
I don't know where this came from. Just popped into my head lol. Read and please review to let me know what you think.
Sara sat at home in her apartment just sitting on her couch with a beer in her hand. She had the TV on but she couldn't focus on it. All she could think about was him.
Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
She just didn't understand. One minute they were happy and the next, 'poof!' everything changed. He changed. She loved him. There was no doubt about that. And she was sure that he loved her too. But then he returned from a seminar and he seemed different. Like something happened but he wouldn't talk to her about it.
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
They used to be happily married. She remembers the day that he proposed they get married. It wasn't romantic or anything, I mean come on she just got stung by a bee. Not to mention the hideous outfits that they were wearing. But just hearing that he wanted to marry her thrilled her more than anything.
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on
Now it turned to this. Her sitting alone in her new house. Separated from her husband of two years. And all because he accused her of cheating when it was him who was never home. Who was mysterious. Who lied and covered them up by turning them around on her. What had made him that way? That's the one question she has asked herself over and over since he started this whole thing.
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
She gave him everything. She gave him six years of her attention when it could have been elsewhere, or on someone else. She knows exactly who it would be on too. The one man who had been pining for her attention, for her love. The one man who she had blown off on many occasions and all because of him. Because she loved him. She doesn't know if it started out because he was hard to get and she always loved a challenge. Or if it was because she knew that she couldn't have him and she would never get hurt because nothing would ever become of them. But she was surprised when he asked her to dinner not too long after a friend and co-worker got kidnapped and hurt by a psycho killer.
I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now as she thinks about everything, she believes she said ok because there was nothing to lose. She went years following him around like a puppy dog. Hell she even moved to a different state so she could work with him! As she drinks her beer she wonders what she has in her life now. She hasn't kept in touch with her friends from the crime lab because she's been too busy trying to sort her life out. Was it only her dog that she had by her side? The dog that she owned with her ex-husband? The one who abandoned said dog by leaving him tied to her doorknob before she returned from work? The dog who was her companion while her husband was out with other women from numerous towns that he went to "seminars?"
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
After she finished her beer she got up and decided she needed something stronger. She grabs the vodka she keeps for back up in case she ever feels the way she does. She thinks about calling one of her former friends to talk to. Because she isn't supposed to drink. She's an alcoholic who has had DUI charges against her. This is her first time drinking in five years and she thought she was doing pretty well. But she can't bother them. The only female that she ever considered a friend is probably spending time with her daughter and from what she has heard, new boyfriend. Her male friends have their own lives to deal with. Whether it be going out and getting laid, staying in and watching sports, or taking care of the wife and child that you have. Being loyal to your family like a husband is supposed to be.
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on
She can definitely feel the buzz start to kick in. And soon she knew that she would be drunk and wouldn't remember anything she's been thinking of until tomorrow night when she does the same exact thing. She wonders how long she can be like this. So distant and lonely. Her dog starts whining to go out so she stands up but wobbles.
"I can do this." She says to herself. Though she doesn't know if she means walking to the door without falling over, or get through this and be ok and back to normal. Whatever normal was for her anyways. She lets the dog out and falls back onto the couch after picking up her vodka bottle. Who needs cups anyways?
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
She hears a knock on the door and wonders if it's even worth it to answer it. She doesn't know who it is. Who would visit her at such a late time of night? No one knows of her divorce. Not even her friends from work. Even though her husband used to be all of their boss. And their friend. But he distanced himself from them the second he left the crime lab. He never called them. Never e-mailed them. Not like she does. Or used to anyways. The only time she ever sees them now is when she leaves and they come into work. Since she works the day shift now and they work the night shift.
Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...Anymore...
The person on the other side of her door is very persistent on her answering. Honestly it's giving her a bit of a headache. She stood up and after getting herself composed she started walking to her door. As she was walking she saw a picture of her and her ex-husband. She picked it up and touched the glass and sighed. This is when she decides she needs to start over. No more drinking. No more thinking about him. So she throws the picture away in the trash. She took a deep breath and reached the door. She opens it and pleasantly surprised to see one of her friends there.
"Hey." He looked at her with sad eyes.
"Hi. What are you doing here?" She let him into her apartment.
"We all heard about what happened." He sat on her couch. He took in the beer bottles and vodka bottle. "You want to talk about it?"
"No. I think I'm going to be ok." She sat next to him. "I was planning on spending the night just drinking and thinking but then you knocked on my door. Which in a way knocked some sense into me. I'm better than this. I help families get justice for their loved ones. I put criminals behind bars. I have friends that I want to hang out with. And talk about our lives with."
He smiled at her. "Good. Because we all miss you."
"I miss you guys too."
"There is one think I just don't understand." He looked at her.
"What's that?"
"Why would Grissom let you go?" She looked at her hands. "You're an amazing, smart, absolutely beautiful woman. Anyone would be insane to let you go."
"You're sweet. But I'm not perfect."
"To me you are." He took her hands in his. "I am here for you Sara Sidle. I'm going to help you get through this."
"Thank you." She smiled. "Since when have you been so serious Mr. Sanders?"
He laughed. "I've always had it in me. It just takes some serious shit to bring it out of me. I just enjoy being the funny, goofy, not to mention strikingly handsome, Greg Sanders. It makes the day go by."
"It definitely brightened my day. Or night. Whatever." She sighed. "I can't believe I've been divorced for a couple weeks and I'm still upset."
"You guys have been married for two years. I would be surprised if you were over it."
"You're the best friend a girl could ask for."
"Oh please. One day you know that we will be more than just friends Sara." He winked at her.
She laughed, "Some day. Maybe I'll take you up on that offer."
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it,
can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Here I am, once againI'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes