Seems So Familiar
Lucas had often wondered how he would die. When one is alone for days with nothing to do one retreats to one's mind and asks some very dark questions.
Lucas was not the Lucas North that he once was. Having spent 8 years in a Russian prison Lucas had changed. He doesn't smile as much as he used to. Simply doesn't have it in him. He keeps going, keep doing the job as it is the only thing that he has left.
He isn't as fine or as composed as he makes it out. He is damaged, cracked and chipped in so many ways. Dreams and nightmares jarring him out of bed. They wake him up in a cold sweat as he relives the last eight years.
He is sweating now slowly but it is there as well as the sick feeling of dread in his stomach. Before him stands a man with a gun pointing it right at his head. Around other men with guns and one man on a phone talking down it. This is where he currently is… a prisoner again.
It was meant to be a simple mission. Follow the bad guy meeting the other bad men. Listen to them plot, cheat and plan of destroying the peace and murder innocent people all in the name of their cause. Then leave before they saw you. Simple really or as simple as it was for a spook.
Things had been simpler long ago. Once it had been Tom Quinn and him battling for Queen and country at Harry's bidding. He smiles when he thinks back to those times, the pair of them had been co-workers in the same job, rivals battling for the top dog position here at MI5 and had been friends. They respected each other and understood each other. Wonder if he will understand me now? Lucas thinks. Hell Lucas doesn't really understand himself much anymore. What sane person returns to work after being tortured for the last eight years? But this is all he has left.
Who is he? He doesn't know anymore nor does he really care discussing it over and over again in a debriefing process filled with doctors.
Getting caught was not part of the plan but then it was not the part of the plan to get caught in Russia all those years ago. He is now waiting after being beaten for answers and information. Waiting to see what they will do to him. He almost laughed a couple of times earlier. These men could learn a thing or two about torture and Lucas had experienced enough of it to be an expect.
He tries to listen to what the man on the phone is saying. He knows it is Harry on the other end of the phone. Least Harry bothered to call this time/
When Lucas returned and fought so hard to work again at MI5 simply because it was all he had left. Everything else in his life had moved on. If he did not have this… Lucas does not even want to think where he might be. Crying, screaming and with everyone around me trying to work out what finally made me crack up Lucas thinks to himself was it the torture or the shock of coming back that made me insane they would ask?
Still he is what he is. This place, these walls, the people around him at MI5 they gave him purpose and sense. He could help them, help himself make amends by doing something for the better of the world and for his soul.
The man on the phone is getting increasingly heated and more animated Harry is clearly standing his ground. Which means he is stalling and trying to give the team a chance to get to Lucas or simply he is telling the man that Britain does not negotiate with terrorists just like every other good guy. It was only by chance that Lucas was swapped after all.
The team was his only hope. He barely knew them. He could not let them get too close yet. Lucas did not want them to see his scars both inside and out. Would they find him in time? Malcolm would have been using every single technical device no doubt to pin down his location. It did not matter that Lucas did not know where he was right now. Malcolm could find him… keep telling yourself that as you look at a gun Lucas thinks.
The man throws the phone down screaming. Guess Harry told him his joke about the French Lucas mused. He is there yelling in Lucas's face in a moment. Screaming, shouting and it would no doubt be even more terrifying if Lucas could understand a word he was saying but he can guess it is not anything about the weather.
The man with the gun tightens his grip and suddenly Lucas is gripped with a question What will be my last thought? What will be the final thing Lucas thinks about when a bullet is lodged itself in his brain? Will it be meeting Harry for the first time? Getting married? Getting tortured for 9th day in a row? Getting his first tattoo in prison? Seeing Harry again and being told he can walk towards him a free man?
The man pushes the gun right on Lucas's forehead. Lucas closes his eyes.
This is it. What will I use to sum my life up?
A flash image of a man smiling at him in front of a body.
There is a the sound of a gunshot.
Vaughan keeps smiling at him.
The image will not leave him.
More gun shots.
Lucas opens his eyes. He can see them. CO19 storming the room he is in. Lucas forces his chair down on the ground to get out of the line of anyone's fire. The gunshots seem to be everywhere but almost as soon as it has begun it was over.
"Lucas?" Lucas turns his head it was Roz looking down at him. Jo comes into view next to her
"Are you hurt?" Jo asks him Lucas merely grimaces as two of CO19 pull his chair back up.
"Seen better days" Lucas merely replies.
They cut his free from the chair that he had been sitting and beaten on for days. He is given the once over by the medical team as they travel back to the UK. Lucas is then back in MI5 before he knows it. Back to where he belongs. Back in front of Harry.
"Good to see you Lucas" Harry states
"Thanks Harry." Lucas smiles wincing as he walked towards him.
"If you are in pain we can do the debriefing another time perhaps?" Harry tells him.
"No I'm good" Lucas lies.
He just wants to keep busy. He just wants to keep going.
Just wants to forget the fact the fact that the last thing on his mind was Vaughan standing over the body of Lucas North.
The real Lucas North.
Fin.