Tawnypelt speaks:
My Life's Decisions
I was born in a Clan, but I spent most of my life as an outcast. Along with my brother, Bramblepaw, I was raised in ThunderClan by my mother, Goldenflower. Unlike the rest of the Clan, she believed us trustworthy and didn't believe that having a traitor for a father defined who you were.
My father was Tigerstar, the leader of ShadowClan. He had been part of my Clan once. But in his desire for power, he'd killed the deputy, Redtail, hoping to be made deputy himself. After Lionheart died, he got his wish. But, being the deputy wasn't enough. He laid a trap for Bluestar by the Thunderpath, but dear Cinderpelt was caught in it instead. She had a crippled leg and had to forget any dreams of becoming a warrior and lead the life of a medicine cat.
My father's actions did not stop there. He led Brokentail's rogues to our camp and tried to kill Bluestar and he nearly succeeded—if not for Firestar, I doubt she would've lived. He was exiled for his treasonous actions, but the Clan wouldn't forget him anytime soon. We weren't to blame for his actions—we were too young to even see—but we weren't trusted.
When we were apprentices, both I and my brother had it tough, hardly any cat in our own Clan—even Bluestar—trusted us. Firestar, my brother's mentor tried to help us and tell us if we were loyal, no cat would doubt our place. I couldn't believe him, as I was often the target of the elders' rude remarks. Smallear often said I was going to be my father's daughter and many other things that hurt worse than any wound.
After a few moons of my life as Tigerstar's daughter, I decided I'd had enough. I had to go somewhere I could be accepted. When my mentor, Brackenfur left for a hunting patrol and left me with the elder duties, I snuck away from camp, and headed to ShadowClan territory. My father had joined RiverClan and ShadowClan and became one single Clan known as TigerClan. I met Darkstripe on the border. He was hunting by himself. He was surprised to see me, considering I was trespassing.
"Tawnypaw? What're you doing here?" he asked.
"I need to see my father. Will you take me to him?"
He nodded. "Help me carry the prey. Tigerstar's furious with me for this afternoon."
I wondered what was he was talking about but I didn't ask as I walked with him to my father's den. We were at the mouth of the den. We didn't go in.
"Tigerstar?" Darkstripe meowed.
"Yes, Darkstripe? What is it?" came my father's growl.
"Tawnypaw's here. She asked to see you."
"Tawnypaw?"
My father came out of his den. He looked just like my brother, only bigger.
"Tawnypaw, what brings you here?" he asked.
"I've come to join your Clan." I told him.
He looked interested. "You made the right choice. Come; join me for some fresh-kill."
I only left to be accepted and I was. Tigerstar and the rest of the Clan didn't judge me and I was fine with that—even if I didn't like my father's choices. Eventually, Bramblepaw found out where I had gone when I left ThunderClan. The look on his face made me want to die, then and there. I couldn't face him or make him understand why I had left. I hadn't done anything wrong and I knew he and the rest of the Clan wouldn't see it that way. Not long after that, Tigerstar was killed by BloodClan's leader, Scourge. Despite his being my father, I was actually glad when Scourge killed him. Soon, Firestar and Bramblepaw came back and talked to Leopardstar about defeating BloodClan. Bramblepaw cornered me.
"Tawnypaw, I need to talk to you."
I looked down at my paws. "This is about my leaving ThunderClan, isn't it?"
"Yes. Tawnypaw, how could you even think about joining Tigerstar after all he did?"
"I didn't do anything wrong. I left because I wanted to be accepted."
"ThunderClan would've accepted you if you'd just stayed."
"Look, I'm sorry. But I can't live under Tigerstar's shadow."
He pressed his muzzle into mine. "I miss you."
"I miss you too. Look, I'll explain myself to Firestar, alright?"
He looked relieved and I followed him to Firestar. I explained why I had left and that I was going to be staying in ShadowClan. My brother looked crestfallen, but he didn't try to stop me. Eventually I became Tawnypelt and loyal warrior of ShadowClan. A few other cats in ShadowClan still had a few suspicions about me, but they respected me.
StarClan had so much planned for me. I was one of the chosen to go on the Great Journey to the sun-drown-place. I could've stayed with my Clan, but I chose to leave with my brother, his friend Squirrelpaw, Crowpaw, Feathertail and her brother Stormfur.
Eventually, I even found love and a mate in Rowanclaw and became the mother of his kits, Tigerkit, Flamekit and Dawnkit. Rowanclaw's great. He loves me and respects me a lot. I'm so lucky to have him. I have my own life now, as a mother and loyal warrior of ShadowClan. Sometimes I miss my brother, but I see him at Gatherings and you know what? I wouldn't trade my life for anything.
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