This will be fun; I promise. ;) I don't own Homestuck nor the characters in Homestuck.

Dirk's POV

I am asleep, well, I was until just now. I still haven't bothered with the seemingly unnecessary task of opening my eyes; who the fuck even bothers with that kind of shit when you're as comfy as me?

I feel something extraordinarily soft and plushy underneath me and it's the perfect temperature, despite the fact there's no blankets or fans.

"Dirk!" A voice calls me. Not just any voice- Jake's voice. "Dirk! Where are you?"

I internally sigh and give myself a pep talk. 'All right, Dirk. If you're willing to have movie marathons with someone with the awful taste he has choosing every movie, then you can manage to open up your fucking eyes, no matter how comfy you are.'

Begrudgingly, I open my eyes. The world is fucking rainbows and unicorns. I'm not even joking right now. I had been sleeping on clouds and every single cloud is connected with a rainbow. Unicorns are everywhere. And look! That's a Pegasus! Oh my fucking god.

Have I died and gone to heaven?

"Dirk, come over here!" called Jake from a cloud over from where I am.

I climb up the gentle slope of the rainbow connecting our clouds, then slide down the opposite side.

I see something even more perfect than the gorgeous scenery: Jake shirtless. He's sitting on a rock next to what appears to be an oasis in an oasis. It's a pond, perfect for swimming. The water is clearer than any I'd ever seen before- even clearer than the water the faucet in the apartment spat out. There were no bugs or animals nearby as if this cloud had been reserved just for Jake and I.

He's only wearing swim trunks; that's my main thought as I walk towards him. He's got the kind of abs that you can usually only find in magazines and that adventurous grin he's known for.

"Come swim with me." he says. He stands on the rock and dives into the pond without a splash. He comes up laughing. "Come into the water! The water is simply marvelous."

I'm about to tell him that I don't have any swim trunks when I realize that I'm wearing some. Despite my confusion, I smile and nod. I step onto the rock and dive in perfectly, the same way Jake did. I never realized I could do that. I come up spitting water like a fountain.

We play and have fun in the water, free of the cares we're usually burdened with.

"This is amazing," I say to Jake. "Where are we, and why the fuck didn't we come here sooner?"

Jake just laughs. "Does it really matter where we are? All that matters is that we're here together." He takes a hold of my hand under the water. He bites his lip. "Can I tell you something, chap?"

He moves slightly closer to me. I feel my cheeks warming up. "Sure,"

"I really like you, Dirk. Like, like-like you. Will you be my boyfriend?" He presses himself up against me.

"Dirk." I hear a distant voice call out.

We're only wearing swim trunks. We're only wearing swim trunks and his-

"Dirk!"

is up against my-

"Golly, if you don't wake up right now, I might spill this coffee all over you."

And then I'm awake, groaning at being awoken at this impossibly early hour of the morning. I open my eyes to see my roommate, Jake English, standing over me (well this is an interesting angle), holding a mug of coffee.

"How is it that all Striders sleep in so late?"

"It's because of all the awesome shit we do at night. If you stayed up until three in the morning every day, you'd understand that nine thirty is not even mildly close to sleeping in."

We fall into our usual morning banter as we go into the kitchen where Jake has prepared a hot breakfast. I let a small smile cross my face. This is not rainbow-unicorn-heaven, but this is still pretty fucking awesome as is.

Nope. Not this time, Dirky. XD In case you hadn't noticed, the main point of this was to fuck with him. XD