Chapter 1

Buffy patrolled the cemetery every night. She had done so willingly since enrolling in college. Anything to keep her mind occupied. She'd impressed Giles anyway. The British Watcher was very taken with the 'all new focused Slayer'. But in truth, she'd always been pretty controlled about the job.

She sat waiting next to a newly dug grave, a gloom hanging over her. Loneliness was a funny thing. Her relationship with Angel had filled her with emptiness. I mean, let's be real, an un-dead vampire and a slayer in a relationship? Wasn't really going to work long term. Deep down Buffy had always known that. After he returned from the hell dimension it was so different between them. Closure almost. Her life became about slaying and school.

But it had also become about Faith.

Faith had breezed into town like a whirlwind, tearing up Sunnydale with her unorthodox behaviour and attitude. She'd enjoyed the job, relished in her reputation and had generally been as different to Buffy as she could be. Yin and yang; dark and light; good and evil. It was the fascination with those differences that had first sparked her interest in the dark slayer. Somehow they were more connected than any other pair on earth. Both chosen, but co-existing when nature had never intended that to happen.

Buffy had welcomed her into her world, introduced her to her friends and had her over to her home for a family meal, all because she needed to be closer to Faith. To feel that connection. Then it had all gone wrong.

Faith killed a man and then the darkness had seeped in. The Mayor offered her a home, security and an almost parental role to a girl who'd had nothing. She embraced evil and pushed everything else away, but Buffy knew she had pushed also. A dagger thrust deep into the brunette had sealed their relationship. She would never forget the hand pressed on her own as the blood spilled between them. Or the smile that crept over those full lips, her brown eyes staring up into her own, as Faith drew her last breath.

Willow had managed to bring her back to life. She then called an ambulance that rushed her away into the night, sirens and lights, flashes of blue in the rain. The next day all hell broke out at the school. Literally! The Mayor was stopped, the school destroyed, another chapter closed.

Faith had checked herself out of hospital by the time Buffy had found the nerve to visit her. Willow and Tara developed a locator spell a few weeks later and were shocked to discover that she was in a mental institution. More digging revealed that she had checked herself in several days after leaving Sunnydale. She was alone, again. That's how it was between them now.

The night was getting colder. A chill hung in the air. Buffy shivered, her mood was no better for her late night musings. Not even kicking the risen vampire's ass had helped.

She took the long way home, hoping to release the pent up energy that burned in her veins. This was becoming a regular habit. She was in a world of her own, her feet taking her to the destination she had been seeking out night after night for weeks now.

The motel sign came into view, some twenty minutes later. She stopped and waited, watching, her back pressing against a stone archway across from the run down building. A light went out and the blonde slayer crept further into the shadows. A dark figure emerged and lit up a cigarette. Stubbing the match under her steel-toed boot, she glanced around and then strode off towards town.

Buffy watched her leave and then continued home in the opposite direction, her mind swimming as always.

…..

The loud ringing of a phone is a cruel awakening for a slayer who hasn't slept that well.

Buffy groaned, and cursing made her way downstairs.

"Hello." She said into the receiver in a non-than welcoming way.

"Good morning Buffy. I didn't wake you did I? I mean it is after eight."

"No Giles. I always wake bright and breezy you know that." She answered in an equally pissed off manner.

"Well, right...sorry. I presume one did not sleep so well then?"

"No, not so good. What with vamps and college Giles, I'm pretty beat."

"Well I might have a solution to that Buffy."

"Well for once, I'm all ears." She replied, her mood improving slightly.

"I mean it's not a quick fix, but I do believe that if the time is invested then this will be really rather wonderful."

"So, deal already."

"Oh...yes, well, I think it's better said in person. Can you come over?"

"To yours or the Magic Box?"

"Mine will do as I'm already here."

"Give me an hour, maybe two...you know, to wake up and be less grouchy?" Buffy smiled.

"Yes of course. Oh, and Buffy?"

"Yes?"

"Bring an open mind."

With that Giles hung up.

Buffy was left rather confused, but then her watcher often left her that way. She put it down to the fact he was British. That answer seemed to cover most things.

…..

She managed to get ready quicker than she'd imagined, so found herself at Giles's an hour later. The big wooden door swung open quickly and a grinning face met hers. Buffy took a step back as a very confused look passed across her face.

"Hi. You must be Buffy. I'm Renee. I'm so pleased to meet you." The girl grabbed the slayer and hugged her, hard!

"Giles!" Buffy yelled; her arms pinned by her sides by an unknown child.

The Watcher stepped into the doorway, a mug of steaming hot coffee in his hand. "Morning. Well, I see you have met Renee. Good. Come on. Let's all go inside."

Renee released the blonde slayer, grinned and almost skipped past Giles into the lounge. After a moment Buffy joined them, still confused.

"Tea? Coffee?" Giles called from the kitchen, as Buffy sat trying to avoid the obvious stare of the small stranger.

She seemed ok, the slayer mused. Whoever she was. The girl couldn't be more than fifteen. She was pretty for her age. Shoulder length dark hair and deep brown eyes. She was lean but strong. That hug had left her breathless. She certainly had bags of energy and just loved to stare!

"Buffy?" Giles shouted again.

"Coffee. Black and sweet, as is the way at this time of the morning."

"Do you not like mornings? I do. Love them. In fact I love any time of the day really. Which do you like best?" Renee asked at high speed.

"Er, I can't say I've ever really thought about it."

"Oh. Right. Sorry, I ramble a bit when I'm excited. And I'm SO excited to meet you."

"Thanks?" Buffy replied, looking towards the kitchen hopefully.

"Here you go." Said Giles handing her the drink. She smiled up at him, relieved but waiting for answers.

"Well, you've both met." He cheerily stated. "Good, good. Buffy, Renee will be with us for some time. She's actually here because she's been chosen."

Buffy stared vacantly.

"As in she's a slayer."

Silence.

"Are you listening?"

"How?"

"You must remember Buffy."

"Humour me."

"You were the slayer, then you died and came back and Kendra arrived. She died, didn't come back, but Faith came. She went bad, died, came back and now we have me!" The petite brunette said grinning.

"All coming back?" Said Giles.

"Thanks for the recap. I got it."

"Don't you just love his accent?" Renee piped up, smiling across at him.

"Really?" Buffy asked, surprised.

"Yeah, it's cute, don't you think?"

"No, and eughh!" She winced.

"Well, if you don't mind, I'd like to...to move this conversation on from...from my voice." Giles replied, blushing slightly.

"Please do." Buffy answered, grimmed out.

"So if there's like Buffy and Faith and me, then we're kinda like the three amigos or musketeers or something?" Renee continued excitedly.

"A favourable literary analysis, yes." Giles smiled.

"So where is she? Where's Faith? Can I meet her too?"

Buffy glanced over at her Watcher.

"In time...yes, well...things aren't so...I," He stammered.

"Yes, I hope you will Renee." The blonde slayer added.

"Hope?"

"Yes hope. Faith is...Faith and I don't...We..."

"You two are not good at the straight answer stuff are you?" Said Renee.

"It's just difficult." Buffy replied, smiling at her.

"But I'm here because she died."

"Yes you are, but that doesn't mean that Faith is best equipped to train you." Giles answered.

Buffy sat looking at Renee. She reminded her of the dark slayer, a younger version but with the same confidence. This thought warmed but broke her heart a little. She allowed herself to miss Faith for just a moment before she continued.

"Listen. I know all this is new to you. We're new to you. This life is...this job is hard. It's all you'll know. The time for being your own person, well it's pretty much over. I know this sounds tough, but you need to be aware that this calling is not a choice. It chose you. I can train you, support you, help you get stronger, but then you are on your own. It's not an easy lesson to learn."

Giles stared at Buffy, shocked at how hard she had sounded.

"Then I guess two slayers training me would be better than one." Renee said defiantly.

She was more like Faith than the blonde slayer had at first thought. This would not be an easy task.

"We'll manage, between Buffy and myself." Offered Giles. "Then there's Willow and Tara, two witches who are growing more powerful each day and…."

Buffy interrupted him.

"I will talk to Faith, Renee. But I can't promise you anything."

"Thank you. I just want to get started, meet everyone, you know?"

"I know."

Buffy got up, her Watcher following her to the door.

"Faith's here?" He asked bemused. "You didn't mention this before."

Buffy kept her voice low and even. "I saw her one night on the way back from the cemetery. She was coming out of some seedy looking motel downtown. I wouldn't have known, but I took a different route home." She added quickly.

"I see." Giles took off his glasses and started cleaning them with a handkerchief from his pocket. "Have you made contact? Do you know if she'd even be up to this?" He added.

"Honestly? I'm not sure. Seems like she spent some time working through some issues."

"Issues Buffy? She killed a man."

"Yes I know that Giles. But where were we? Any of us? We let her go and we lost her to the Mayor. Maybe we should have tried harder."

Giles smiled. "You might be right, yes. On reflection I do believe we all had a part to play in Faith's actions. I know Willow for one was always convinced that she would reform. She sees the good in everyone."

"Yes she does." Buffy smiled. "Listen Giles, I'll call you later. I assume you want Renee to stay with me, so I'll get a room ready."

"Buffy I...I know it's hard, it being...well your..."

"Mom's room? Yes I know. But nothing lasts forever does it?"

Without waiting for an answer she left, making purposeful strides towards the edge of town. Her heart pounded with each step as she made her way to see the one person that could help. The one person she'd avoided for too long, the other side of herself.

…..

Opening up her home to a stranger was going to be hard, Buffy mused on her walk though town. Opening up her Mom's room would be tougher. Willow and Tara had been great. They officially moved in, although they'd practically lived there anyway since school had ended. She needed the company.

It had taken a long time for Buffy to accept that her home would be forever changed, but was relieved to have kept it. The landlord had sold up to a new buyer, just days after the funeral, but was happy to have tenants. She couldn't have bore the idea of losing her home too. The rent was much lower, which was great as money was tight. There was always something to worry about and manage. At least she didn't have to do it alone. Her friends had been her rock, her sanctuary. She knew she was lucky. Not everyone has someone.

It shocked Buffy how different the motel looked in the daylight. It was even more run down than she'd thought. Why anyone would choose to stay there was beyond her. The area smelt of car fumes, cigarettes, liquor and dirt. Grime seemed to cling to every building and vehicle in the vicinity.

Buffy had heard from Angel that Faith had inherited money from the Mayor. Substantial legitimate funds he'd put aside for her should anything happen to him. Maybe guilt stopped her using it. Either way, this was no place to live.

She approached the dark slayers room, avoiding the trail of litter and what appeared to be overflowing drains. Taking a deep breath, Buffy focused, trying to suppress the urge to turn and run. She could have sworn her heart stopped for a beat or two as her knuckles came in contact with door. She knocked loudly. A few moments passed, and she swallowed hard, her mouth going dry. "Focus Buffy, focus." She said to herself. "You need her onboard."

She was about to try again, when she heard footsteps approaching.

"Who the hell is it? It's not even lunch time!" Faith flung the door open. Her hair was wet and wild. Buffy suspected she'd disturbed her shower. Other than shorts and a t-shirt, the dark slayer wore nothing else than a pissed off expression.

They stared at each other. Buffy knew she should say something. After all she was the one who wanted help and had come to visit. It was only polite, but her mouth wouldn't work. Too many memories were flooding her head. All those times they'd laughed together, slayed together. Months of not seeing Faith had made Buffy empty. She'd lost her, and seeing her again made her realise it.

"B." Faith said, breaking the silence. "To what do I owe the honour?" She continued, leaning on the doorframe, arms folded, her tone surprised but strong. Regaining her control, Buffy stared into the dark eyes that held her gaze, before walking past her and into the room. Slamming the door, Faith rounded on her.

"Come in, please." She said sarcastically.

"Thanks." Buffy said turning to face her. She crossed her arms across her tan leather jacket to make herself feel more secure.

"So, what can I do for ya B?" She asked flatly, opening her mini bar and cracking open a bottle of Bud.

"Little early isn't it Faith?" She questioned.

"Well I got in a little late, so I guess it's all relative." She replied taking a swig of beer, her eyes never leaving Buffy's.

"I need your help." She stated, keeping any emotion out of her voice.

"I see."

Those dark eyes were getting too heavy to meet. Buffy looked down at the bed and moved a few of Faith's clothes to one side so she could sit.

The room was dark, with just the light from the dirty glass window trying to shine through. The TV was on low, the picture quality fuzzy. There were trousers and t-shirts on the floor like they'd just been stepped out of. Cartons of takeout food lay on the sideboard along with what looked like underwear. Buffy wondered if they were even Faith's.

The dark slayers voice broke her thoughts.

"What type of help would you require? I mean you got the scoobs and the G-man right? I'm sure you got it all boxed up." She said, leaning against the brown painted wall opposite Buffy, drinking her beer.

"You died Faith." She said solemnly.

"Woh there slayer! Halt the presses! No. Wait...think that's already happened. Think you should know that being as it was you that knifed me."

"Yes I know." Buffy shot back, guilt ringing in her ears. How Faith could be so calm after all this time, after everything. She could feel her frustration rising.

"So?"

She tried again. "So there's another slayer. She needs to be trained. So we thought…."

"Hold on there." Faith said, slamming her bottle down. "I die. A new slayer comes to Sunny D and I'm the last to hear about it? Is that right?"

"Pretty much." Buffy responded, feeling her hard exterior pushing through, but wishing it wouldn't.

"Nothing changes does it?" Faith said, a half smile dancing across her face. She finished her bottle and reached for another. "I mean, it was always you wasn't it B? The perfect slayer. I was fun to have around for a while, until I got too difficult, until I got in your way, until I threatened to upset your perfect little life!"

"Until you got out of control and killed someone!" Buffy's words flew out fast and hard.

The dark slayer stared back, anger and pain flashed in her eyes. "Yeah, until Faith fucked up. Guess perfect little Buffy saw that coming. Saw it coming and thought to herself, 'This'll be fun to watch, pout about and then do fuck all about!'" She said angrily.

"Blame me all you want if it makes you feel better. I really don't care either way." She flew back, regretting it immediately.

"No B. I guess you never did." Faith smiled, her eyebrow raised. She took a long swig of beer before resting her head back on the wall.

Buffy watched her knowing her words were lies. She did care. She always had, but something had stopped her helping the brunette when she had fallen, when she'd turned evil.

"Faith I...Look. I'm not here to dredge up the past. I just thought we could…."

"Move on, train a slayer together, be all smiles and giggles round the kid and then you dump me off each night? Sounds like a ticket I ain't gonna buy." She interrupted, still drinking, her head pounding.

"She needs you, ok? So no, it's not going to be like that."

Faith finished her bud and slung the empty bottle into a plastic white bin by the door. How long was she going to keep this up? How long would she continue to fight Buffy? To keep herself isolated. She looked down at her feet, her head shaking. She knew the answer to her questions. The only person who ever truly mattered had abandoned her. She'd lost everything, and it still destroyed her every day. And now here she was, asking for help.

"Please Faith." Buffy said softly, trying to regain eye contact.

"It's not that easy for me B." She replied, refusing to meet her eyes. Scared that the blonde slayer would see her pain; see the rejection that she had forced her to live with.

"Renee is...I think you'd like her. I do. She's...she's a lot like...well, you."

Faith looked up slowly and met beautiful green eyes. Those eyes had haunted her since they'd met. She'd always been so amazed that they could show such compassion and yet so much control. They used to look at her with amusement, with warmth, sometimes with pride. Then those eyes had given her nothing but emptiness, disappointment, and indifference.

"Like me, huh?" She half smiled.

"Yes. Like you."

"How so?" she continued, wanting Buffy to remind her of all things she had once seen in her.

"She's...well, she looks a little like you." She started.

"Really?" Faith mused.

"Yes. She's got dark hair, dark eyes. She's lean and…."

"I ain't really lean B." She replied.

"Well she's only fifteen. And you're more...you're more, well toned...you know and er, well...muscular I guess." Buffy stammered, finding herself looking at the dark slayers body.

Faith smiled, registering the attention she was getting. Remembering that the blonde only babbled when she was put on the spot, or when she was uncomfortable. "And?"

"Sorry?" Buffy replied quickly, her eyes regaining their gaze with Faith's.

"What else is it about her?" She said teasingly.

"Erm, well she's…." She cleared her throat, giving herself a moment to focus. "She's strong. She's bold and a bit brash. She embarrasses Giles. She's cocky, confident, defiant."

"Sounds like me." Faith said, still smiling a little.

"Yes it does." Buffy stared into her dark eyes and saw what she had missed for so long. The reason she had made so many detours to this part of town. Her heart began to ache. She had to make this right. "Come back with me."

"Sorry?" Faith asked, not really recognising what she was being asked.

"Come back with me."

"Right." She responded, moving back towards the mini-bar and grabbing another beer. That had not been the answer Buffy had wanted to hear.

"To...to train Renee. We need you." Buffy said softly, smiling, trying to connect with those deep brown eyes. "We need you Faith. I need you."

Faith froze, her back to Buffy's. She put the bottle down slowly, her hand gripping it tightly as she closed the door with her foot. She sighed deeply, her eyes closed.

"What do you want me to do?"

Buffy's voice was soft.

"Help me. Just...just help me. Train her. Be there, you know? I need you to be around, spend time with her, to move in with me…her." She added quickly.

Faith turned around slowly, meeting Buffy's stare. Knowing she was waiting for an answer. "I can't just…." She swallowed. "Can't just pretend that everything's five by five, when it's far from it."

"It will be different. Faith, I promise you it will."

The dark slayer smiled wryly.

"Don't promise me anything B. It doesn't work, remember?"

She did remember. After Faith had killed Allan Finch, Buffy had promised to help her, to protect her, but she had failed. She'd turned her back and walked away. Why should she believe her now? "I'm sorry. I...you're right, I know that. But please help me train her. She needs your input too. She wants to meet you." She added brightly.

Faith sighed, and popped the top off her beer. After taking a long drink she looked back at Buffy. "Ok, I'm in; for the kid, but I'm not moving in."

"Can I ask why?"

"I just like my space you know. Besides, I'm a lousy house guest."

"Are you sure it's not because you love the low down dirty vibe of this motel Faith?" She said, raising an eyebrow.

"I just lurve the dirty!"

Buffy grinned, and blushed slightly from the innuendo. "Please move me." She added seriously. "You'll be there for Renee properly then. You'll be a part of it all. You'll have space I promise."

They looked at each other, neither one saying a word. Buffy's anxiety was peaking again. She needed air to breathe again, and room to take this reunion in.

Faith broke the gaze, her eyes looking glassy. She coughed slightly, stumbling to speak. "I guess I could."

"You could?" She said, trying not to smile too much.

"Yeah, I could. What do you want me to do?" The dark slayer responded, consigned to her fate.

Buffy smiled, feeling relieved that she had managed to get her on side. She knew Renee would be pleased, but so was she. Maybe, just maybe they could get something back. She stood up and moved towards Faith. "Be at mine later, say three? Bring your things too. I'll settle you in at my place and then we'll introduce you to our protégée."

"Fine."

"And Faith?"

"Yeah?"

"I think you've had enough, don't you?" She said, as she took the bottle from the brunette's hand and walked into the bathroom.

Faith was speechless as she watched her pour the Bud down the sink. Half of her wanted to kick her ass; the other was revelling in the blonde slayers obvious concern for her.

"I'll see myself out then." Buffy said, moving towards the door. Her demeanour was already re-focusing on the job, her exterior trying to hide her feelings.

Faith noticed the change. She'd seen it a hundred times before. Her anger began to rise. She was beginning to feel duped, frustrated at how she'd allowed herself to be mothered and manipulated again. Would she ever learn?

Buffy turned back and faced her. "Thank you."

"Whatever." Faith said coolly.

"This was...this is not about us." The blonde stated softly.

"No B. That's the thing. It never was." Faith replied. With one final look she closed the door, leaving Buffy in the morning sun.