EDITOR'S NOTE: Still working on the kinks of this story, haven't fully decided on the title and there probably will be some grammar issues as that is not my strength. However, I would love feedback I've got most of the story done and what is here is what I feel currently comfortable with.

Prologue

The sound of gates creaking disturbed the tranquil night ambiance. A girl in her late-teens or early-twenties cautiously left the iron gates that led to a wooded road. It took her some time before she could get out to the main road. The woodland path was long and dark; the moonbeams snaked through the jagged holes spearing the trees in the hollow.

Finally at the main road she glanced quickly around to make sure no cars were coming. She darted across the road to the sidewalk that was waiting for her. The sidewalk would take her to town. As she walked on by, she passed the town's 'Welcome' sign. She glanced at it briskly with a hateful glare.

'Welcome to Merikston!' It read. She kicked the sign, slightly agitated. She had come from her house, which was still considered a part of Merikston. Putting the sign here was on purpose she thought.

"To keep the monsters out." She uttered darkly. She was unaware of how much her mind played games with her.

She continued on her quest, the moon was the only light guiding her down the path to downtown. Her clothes were dark, tinted in navy and black. She knew doing this could, god forbid, get her hit by a car. It doesn't matter what will happen to me… she reflected seemingly content with the outcome of such an incident. Continuing on her way, she listened carefully to the environment and concentrated on her footsteps, making sure to avoid any bad company, and any trippable slants in the sidewalk. She thought smugly of the victory she'd gain if anyone dare attempt to lay a finger on her. Truly it would be their loss… she thought impudently. Alternatively they would win, in which case it was good being alive I suppose….Her mind went on. A short time passed till she reached town. It wasn't very late into the night, but many shop owners had retired for the evening. Not carrying her phone or wearing a watch she estimated it was around nine at night with the lack of activity. Yet, the downtown area was still churning with people, mostly young people. She sneered when she saw them, hate and jealousy poisoning her mind a thick cloud of deceit. Luckily her solemn behavior and dark clothing choices allowed her to stay in their blind spots. She sneaked down the sidewalk that was downtown passing many open and closed shops. Her stomach churned when she passed people. Don't look at them, look away – keep moving… her mind cautioned her. She just had to cross the street in order to continue her venture downtown. Then her salvation was right there.

She rushed down the path and ran across the road ignoring anyone she passed. She had forgotten how many people were out at night. Stopping when she got to the door of the bookstore, she caught her breath and tried to put her head on straight. She glanced across the road and saw the local pizza parlor. It, of course, was still open. Teenagers hung in and around the building, sitting and eating. Or hung outside of it in the pizza parlor's outdoor tables, gossiping or swooning over god knows what. They chattered and socialized like a bunch of marmosets. She looked away quickly, struck with fear and disgust.

She took a deep breath as it was beginning to feel as if some unknown entity was strangling her, They see you, they are looking at you, pointing at you! They are mocking you! Of course they are, you're a freak! You need to be put back in the carnival where you belong, your clothes, your hair, your skin, they see all your flaws! Rightfully so… what are you doing out of your cage?!

She tried to ignore the voice as it seemed to get louder. She shook her head hoping to shake it out. To no avail. She sighed as she opened the door to the bookstore and calmly walked in. The bookstore owner was in there at the desk reading a newspaper.

He grinned laying down his glasses and putting down his newspaper, "Isn't it a little late to be in a bookstore?"

"Oh, ha ha." She mused sarcastically. "We both know you always stay open this late for the chance I may walk in." She paused "Or one of those miscreants across the street may take interest in something other than their social lives." She said walking into one of the book aisles and settling her gaze on something.

"Now don't be judgmental, It's good to have a social life! Besides sometimes a few do come in – granted mainly for magazines and vampire novels. But still they do." He spoke kindly, she didn't respond but slowly pulled out a book that caught her attention. "If it makes you feel any better there is one boy around your age who comes in once in awhile, he always chooses plant books or some fantasy novel, Like The Hobbit. Of course he never buys anything, poor lad he doesn't have much money." The old pudgy man sighed. She continued to stay silent as she returned the book she had pulled out, it wasn't the book she was looking for.

"Well, I suppose that's interesting." She harshly spat while moving about looking for a specific book still. No really, that IS interesting, no one here goes into the library to read that stuff… It's always stupid angst ridden teenage books, magazines, or maybe cookbooks. The only times people come in here to read REAL literature, is if they need a book for a class or something stupid. She thought.

"Yes well, since I see him often we always have a chat. He works in the garden store in town. Only makes sense since he reads about plants. Maybe you should think of hiring him as your gardener."

"Ok, sure Norris and I'll curse myself to a lifetime of being awkward in my own home." She sarcastically groaned.

"Well… why would that be?" Norris said naïvely. He didn't mind her tone (he had already put up with it for a while).

She shook her head. "He is around my age; we both know I cannot get along with any young people. I don't want to get along with their kind anymore anyway." She said darkly as she briskly moved to another aisle. It unnerved Norris a bit to hear her speak so distantly from her own age group. "No, like everyone else in the house I want my gardener to be an older adult. It's what I'm comfortable with, and I'm already so tired of even trying to be comfortable with… them. " She sneered.

"Oh come now, stop being so negative. You have to let go of the past. Besides this guy is a nice boy and if it makes you feel any better he also likes to draw in his spare time as well. Let us not forget you are still a kid too." She huffed and grabbed a book on the lower level of the shelf she had found suitable. Age was timeless in her head it didn't feel like it had any effect on her. She knew she was young but often acted and felt old. Then she would act young and think young, it was all confusing. She couldn't grasp age anymore in her head. Norris sighed once more, "Look you can't keep yourself away from others your age. It isn't healthy, and I think it would do you some good to have some friends." He tried to persuade.

At this comment her eyes lit up, "Friends!" She roared. "There is no such thing! Friends only exist for those who can't manage life on their own! At least for the meek and weak minded. I for one do not like being lied to and being back stabbed! Besides I don't care about those people, in fact I don't see why half the time I should care about anyone!"

"Well, I consider you my friend." Norris said calmly trying to get through to her.

"You do, do you? How do you know the money I give you for this isn't fake money I made?" She said as she waved the book she just found for emphasis. "How do you know one day I won't betray you? Maybe I'm the only one who gets this, but I'll mention it for your benefit. Every being is capable of good and evil. People are capable of great good and great evil. That means, I myself am capable of doing the worst things possible to you in any form I wish! Why would you dare trust someone who has nothing holding them back from hurting you?!"

Norris stood silent for a moment, but undeterred by her anger he calmly spoke again. "That is true, but I KNOW you won't do anything to me." He calmly retorted

"Oh yeah? And how do you know exactly?" She 'smartly' stated as she rested the book on the desk while looking at him straight in the eyes. She arched over the desk so her glare was only inches from his face. She was challenging him.

Norris took a deep breath and gently said "Because I know you, I've known you for a long time. I've seen the goodness you're capable of and I know you can do harm as well. Though that doesn't scare me all people on god's green earth are like that. I know you respect me, as I am one of the few who haven't let you down. I know your moral compass wouldn't allow you to do any one single action to harm me in anyway. You believe that if you did do that, that would give me permission to hurt you back. I trust you, and somewhere deep down I know you trust me."

She was quiet, the agitation faded away from her face. Only the look of complex thought. She sighed. She didn't say anything in response knowing he was right. Norris knew he had won.

"Just, tell me what I owe you for the book." She dejectedly uttered.
Norris put on his glasses and looked at the book. "$15.95" He said and turned over the book to get a look at the title. "The Picture of Dorian Grey, really?" He mentioned while scanning it.

"Yes really, it intrigued me when I heard about it. It also makes me happy I don't have a giant picture of myself." She entertained while handing him the money. "My ugliness isn't shown in a dumb painting." She abruptly stated. "Only anything that shows a reflection." She passive aggressively stated. "Mirrors, bodies of water, and the worst of all the reflection of myself in people's eyes… at least I'm not as daft as Faust or Dorian for that matter to bring this upon myself."

Norris simply wiped his face with his hand. It seemed like she always backed him into a corner with these situations. You're not deformed, not really. I wish you could see that. Norris pled in his thoughts. "I really hope someday soon you will wake up and not think that. I wish you could just try being more positive." Norris said solemnly as he put the book in a plastic bag.

"From your mouth to god's ears. I may not seem it Norris but you gotta realize I am as monstrous as any of those characters, and everyone knows it. It wouldn't matter the masks, the makeup, the clothes, anything." She took her change and leaned closer. "You can't ever hide who you truly are, and what you truly are. You can't hide it even if you want to." She said in a low serious tone. "Nothing can free you from a curse that was bestowed on you from an 'oh so kind god'." She growled.

Norris still trying to stay optimistic retorted "Whatever you believe yourself to be, a psychic you are not. You don't know what is in your future. I still know the kind of person you are, the real you under all of that negativity."

"You mean ugliness." She interrupted

Norris didn't respond to that comment. "And a person like you can't hide in the shadows forever even if you wanted to. Eventually the light will find you. Almost how in Antarctica they have months of darkness, but the sun does come."

She didn't respond. Why must he always plant a seed of hope in my mind where there is none. Perhaps I shouldn't be so harsh on the man, he does after all wear glasses. Not to mention he is getting up there in years... Maybe just the fact he has known me for so long and hasn't darted away means he just doesn't understand. He might be just simple minded. She tried to reason in her head.

"I'll see you whenever Norris, maybe next week."

"You know where to find me." He said with a gentle smile. He secretly wondered how much longer this game would go on. Where she only showed up in public at night. For him it was hard to see a loved one suffer like she. However, he wasn't a family member, just a friend of the family and had no right to do anything. Now even more so since she was a young nodded said her goodbyes and left the store.

It was later now; it definitely seemed darker there were fewer kids out, but kids still. The ones that stayed out later concerned her. They were older, and could be potential threats. Also because many adults were home. She didn't dare look across the street but darted on her path home, not daring to look back, not even daring to listen to what they were saying. Don't look, don't hear, they might hurt you. Keep moving! Keep moving! Away, away from harm! Said the voice in her mind. Soon she was quite a ways from the downtown lights and slipped into the shadows on the now 'safe' part of the journey home. Like a ghost, she had vanished in the night. Only the slight sound of the rustling of the plastic bag that held her book made any noise.