Woo hoo! S4 of In Arthur's Head is here! Season/Series 4 was really hard for Arty on a very personal level, and I look forward to exploring that. :) Here is 4.1, The Darkest Hour-Part 1.

It was the morning of Samhain. Everyone in the castle had been preparing for the celebration for days. That meant, of course, that I had put off writing my speech until today. I've grown used to most of the responsibilities of being Regent, but speech-writing wasn't one of them. Merlin seemed to be running later than usual today, so I got myself up and dressed. I stood leaning against my desk, writing the speech when Merlin entered with my white shirt.

"You're dressed," he observed in disbelief.

"Yes, Merlin. I'm not stupid," I replied, and turned to walk behind the desk. I heard him snigger behind me. What's so funny?

"Are you certain of that?"

I sat down. "Excuse me?"

"It's only that you—"

Now what? "Merlin."

"But you—"

"I'm attempting to compose a speech."

"You need help?"

Help? Pshh."No."

"You don't need this, then." I looked up in curiosity—he was holding up a scroll. "I stayed up all night writing it." I gestured for it and he handed it over. I looked it over with feigned skepticism. He asked, "What'd you think?"

I handed it back to him. "Needs work."

"I'll put that on my list."

I tossed aside the speech I'd been working on. "Merlin, not many servants get the opportunity to write a prince's speech. Would it really be too much for you to say, 'Thank you?'" He stared at me incredulously for a moment and left without deigning to reply. I smiled—Arthur, one; Merlin, zero. The day was looking up.

xxxXxxx

I was sitting in council when I heard whispers at the back of the room. Before long, Sirs Leon and Elyan came in. We'd heard disturbing rumors about Morgana being spotted west of us. She'd been silent for over a year; why move now? I'd sent Leon and Elyan with two others to investigate.

"The information is correct, sire. We came upon Morgana on the Plains of Denaria," Leon said.

"She was by herself?" I asked him.

Elyan shook his head. "There was another with her."

"Morgause."

"We're not certain," Elyan replied.

Agravaine spoke then. "Where was Morgana going?"

"To the Seas of Meredor," Leon replied.

"Isle of the Blessed," Gaius suggested.

Agravaine stepped forward. "I'll dispatch patrols at dawn."

"Thank you, Agravaine," I said.

"Sire, you should be aware—her abilities have grown. Both Sir Bertrand and Sir Montague are dead," Leon said. Two good knights, gone.

"Let me know if anything develops," I dismissed them. The councilmen and knights bowed and left. Agravaine remained. "For months, not a hint. Why now?" What was her plan?

"We knew she wouldn't hide forever. Today, tomorrow, is it important? We can't live in terror, Arthur. Camelot is secure. Should Morgana take action, we'll be ready."

I nodded; it was sound advice. "That's true, of course. I wouldn't have gotten through the last few months without you. Thank you, Uncle." I put a hand on his shoulder and turned to leave. I turned back when he spoke again.

"I promised your mother I'd always be there for you." I smiled, nodded and left.

My mother's brother had been a valuable advisor over the last few months. Soon after I'd become Regent, he came to stay at Camelot, to help me adjust to my new role. He's given me very good counsel in that time, and I knew I could count on him.

xxxXxxx

Night fell and the feasting began. So far things were going well—no mishaps had occurred, which was unusual for a Camelot feast, but welcome. Knights and other nobles enjoyed the copious food and drink. It was nearing midnight so I stood to give my speech. The laughter and merrymaking died down. "Samhain. It's the one day each year when we can sense the spirits of our ancestors. It's a day to think of those who have passed on and honor their lives." I raised my glass in a toast. "To the king."

Everyone stood to toast as the bell tolled. They repeated the toast, saying, "To the king," and we all sipped from our glasses. That was when Merlin tore everyone's attention away by dropping his pitcher. The whole hall went quiet and stared at him while he swooned and fell over. Lancelot ran to Merlin's side. I rolled my eyes and looked away. Now was not the time for theatrics, how annoying! But I could still see him shivering on the floor. Thankfully Lancelot and Gaius helped him up and back to his chambers, presumably. I wouldn't admit it, but I was worried.

xxxXxxx

The next morning, Merlin announced himself by banging my breakfast tray down on the table. That was rude! "Merlin," I groaned. He opened the curtains. Too bright! "Merlin!"

"What?" he asked.

I put a pillow over my face to block out the sun. Someone pounded on the door. My next, "Merlin!" came out muffled.

"That isn't me," he said, annoyed. I took off the pillow as Sir Leon entered.

"Forgive me, sire," he said seriously. I started to sit up. "You're wanted in the council chambers. It's urgent."

Great. Talk about rude awakening! There was nothing for it but to dress and eat some breakfast on the way down to the council chamber. Once there, we found several council members encircling a weeping woman.

"What's going on?" I asked.

Agravaine broke away to reply. "An attack on her village."

"By who?"

"It's unclear, sire." I walked forward toward the weeping woman while those around her backed away.

"What's your name?" I asked her.

"Drea," she replied. I stepped closer and leaned down to her level. She tensed; I tried putting a comforting hand on her arm and spoke quietly.

"Drea." She looked up uncertainly, to make eye contact. "I'm Arthur. Don't be afraid. Tell me what happened."

"My parents, my litter sister, they're . . ." She started weeping again.

"It's okay. It's okay," I said quietly; she nodded. "Somebody hurt them." She nodded again. "Who?"

"There was nobody. Only . . . shades."

"Did you notice their faces?"

"They didn't have faces." I looked uncertainly at a few councilmen, to see if they had any ideas. None. I straightened up.

"I—I'm telling you. They were there, but . . . they weren't there. They shifted so rapidly. It was like they didn't exist, but . . . they must've. I heard people screaming. And then . . . quiet. Everyone was . . . dead." She broke down then, and I leaned down to comfort her.

"Hey. Thank you." I turned her to Gaius and walked back to Agravaine. "Where is her village?"

"Howden. It's east of the White Mountains, about a half day's ride."

I turned to Leon, "Prepare the men." The girl was inconsolable, and if this, whatever, spread around the kingdom . . . more people could die. It had to be stopped, especially if Morgana was behind it.

The Round Table knights were usually ready to ride out of Camelot at a moment's notice. Today was no exception. We were well into the woods before we slowed down to rest the horses a bit. Merlin had seemed nervous all day, so it was no surprise to see him startled by the sound of a woodpecker. "Merlin, you want your comfort blankie?" I teased.

"What're you talking about?" he asked, as if I'd startled him even more.

"You're making me nervous." Lancelot's mount whinnied and Merlin jumped. "That's a horse."

"Perhaps it felt something." He seemed really rattled.

"Yeah, that you're a clot pole."

"That's my word." Halfhearted banter. Now I knew something was bothering him.

"Yeah. And it fits you quite well." I tried to keep it light, calming. His mood was affecting mine and I didn't need the nerves.

By twilight we reached a hill overlooking the slaughtered village. "It's too calm," I commented. We rode down and dismounted to enter the village on foot. All was silent and signs of hasty panic were everywhere. A door creaked loudly and we froze until a goat wandered out of a house and bleated. Whatever had been here wasn't here anymore. Or was it? I had everyone split up in pairs to search. All of us jumped at a loud CRUNCH. I rolled my eyes when I saw the source—Gwaine had just bit into an apple. Gwaine!

"Sorry," he said around his apple. Lancelot just shook his head.

We all jumped again when Elyan yelled, "Here!" Gwaine dropped his apple and all of us ran to Elyan. Inside one of the houses he'd found frozen corpses. Frozen? Something whipped past behind us and we all turned toward it. Where? What?

"You noticed it?" I asked no one in particular.

"We're hunting shadows," Gwaine commented. I actually agreed with him.

"Come on," I said, and we exited the house to resume searching the village. Night had fallen completely, so we lit torches. Something shrieked in the distance—it was totally chilling. Other screams soon joined it. I yelled to the others to join me and we ran for the town's square.

"There's something around here!" Lancelot yelled.

"Did you see it?" I asked him.

"When it spotted the light, it flew," he replied. So we could defend ourselves?

"It frightened the horses," Gwaine said.

"It isn't something you can hunt or kill," Merlin stated. The shrieks echoed all around us.

"We have to get away from here," I directed. I grabbed Merlin and pulled him past me. He seemed to be the most disturbed of anyone. Whatever it was could move quickly and kill. If it went to Camelot . . . I didn't finish that thought. It was too frightening to contemplate.

We rode through the night, reaching Camelot before dawn. We didn't beat the whatever—the lower town looked like the deserted village. It was silent, but most homes were lit, implying their inhabitants were alive. Good! We hurried toward the citadel, eager to find out what was happening and maybe snatch a couple hours of sleep.

xxxXxxx

I managed to get some rest, then met my uncle in his chambers for a full report. "We've sustained fifty losses, perhaps more. Mostly in the lower town," he said.

"And is there any way to fight them?" I asked. Maybe they found something?

"Torches are the only weapons. And the light doesn't destroy them, it just drives them off," he replied.

I looked at Gaius. "What are they?"

"They're Dorocha, sire. Spirits of the deceased. When the Old Religion was practiced, the high priestesses performed blood sacrifices to free them on Samhain's Eve." Ooh.

"But who'd do this kind of thing now?" Agravaine asked.

"Morgana," Gaius replied.

"You think this is her handiwork?" I asked.

"We found her heading to the Isle of the Blessed."

"How do we destroy these spirits?"

"I don't know, sire. No man has ever lived after contact with them." That was not good news. Something I could fight, I could kill. But I couldn't fight these things. How was I supposed to defend my people against them if they couldn't be killed?

Before long it was night again, and we were no closer to a solution. I found myself in my chambers with Merlin. He lit candles while I contemplated our problem. We heard a Dorocha shriek nearby and he dropped his basket of candles; one rolled near the curtains. I looked up at him.

"I thought I spotted something," he said.

"What was it, a bug?" I asked. The curtain moved and he stared at the candle on the floor. I watched him hesitate and walked over to him. "Go get it." He stooped to pick up the basket and we both stared at the curtain. Finally I asked, "Should I call one of the maids to get it for you?"

"It isn't funny," he practically snarled

"True." I hadn't meant to offend him, just to lighten the mood. I took pity on him and walked toward the curtain, using my sword to flick it open. Nothing was there; Merlin sighed in relief. I picked up the candle and walked back to him. "You know, Merlin, I couldn't ever be like you. I couldn't allow myself to look so spineless."

"Oh, yeah, I'm unlike you. I couldn't ever allow myself to look heartless."

"What?" Heartless? Ow.

"Well, okay. Tactless."

"Never."

"Certainly humorless."

I made a face. "Because you aren't amusing." I handed him the candle and turned when the Dorocha shrieked again.

"You aren't frightened?"

"Oh, I am, Merlin." I turned to look at him. "Perhaps more than you." That was the truth. What I couldn't control scared me. I wouldn't admit that to anyone else, but I didn't want him to feel alone.

xxxXxxx

In the morning I stood at the window in the council chamber and watched villagers seeking refuge stream into the square. They carried very few belongings. The Dorocha had dispersed over the entire kingdom, and maybe beyond. There had to be something we could do to stop them.

"They're arriving from every corner of the kingdom. And they're depending on Camelot for safety," Gaius stated.

I turned to him. "We'll provide it to them."

"We can't shelter everyone," Agravaine said.

"We must try."

"How? We can't go on like this indefinitely, Arthur. We have to discover how to kill these things," my uncle replied. I knew that—does he think I'm ignorant of the problem?

"Somewhere in your library, Gaius, there has to be something. All I need is a means to destroy them."

"I'm afraid the Dorocha can't be destroyed by conventional weapons sire. If I'm correct, and the veil between worlds is torn, then there's just one solution. To journey to the Isle of the Blessed and mend it."

It was a straw; I grasped at it. "And how is that done?"

"I'm not certain. Creating the tear would've involved a blood sacrifice. Mending it will take another."

If this was what it came to, I would do it. "We leave before sunset." Agravaine, Gaius and Merlin looked surprised. I turned to go.

"And who'll be the sacrifice?" Gaius asked.

"If giving up my life will save the people of Camelot, then that's what I'll do." I turned and resumed walking away. I had much to do before leaving for the last quest of my life.

xxxXxxx

As part of my leave-taking, I visited my father's chambers. He probably wouldn't understand what I was doing, let alone why. He just kept slipping further into himself and probably wouldn't recover, ever. I hated seeing him like this, but I'd unfortunately grown used to it. I sat next to him in his favorite place—a chair by the window.

I leaned closer to him. "There are so many things I must thank you for. You've taught me a great deal. Above all, you've taught me what it is to be a prince. I pray that just this once you'll be proud of me." Tears stung my eyes and I stood and bent down to kiss his forehead. I turned to leave and he grabbed my arm.

"Don't leave me," he pled.

"I must, Father."

"Please." His hand fell and I took it up again to squeeze it. I wiped my tears and turned to leave. I saw Guinevere standing there and went to her.

"Promise me you'll take care of him while I'm away."

"What is it?" She asked, sensing something was wrong. I didn't respond. "You don't need to go."

I put my hand on her shoulder. "Yes, I do."

"Please, Arthur, be careful. You are loved, not merely the kingdom."

I couldn't leave on that note. "Smile."

She shook her head and looked down. "I cannot."

I lifted her chin. "Do you recall . . . the first time I kissed you?" That made her smile, and I smiled in return. "There. That's the memory I'll carry with me." We embraced and she held on tight, still worrying. I knew she wouldn't stop worrying until I didn't come home; she'd be mourning instead.

I next visited my uncle. Someone had to take charge of the kingdom while I was gone, especially when I didn't return. Father would be even more incapable- if that was possible –when I didn't return. It would likely kill him. Agravaine was the one I trusted most out of those who were staying behind. I handed him the ring bearing the Pendragon seal. "You must accept this. It carries the royal seal. In my absence, responsibility to the kingdom lies with you."

"What about your father?" He seemed confused

"If he dies, you'll assume the throne."

"Arthur—"

"You're the one man I trust, Uncle."

"I implore you, for the good of the kingdom, there has to be some other way." He pressed the ring back into my hand.

I put my hand on his shoulder. "I've made up my mind. I'm just thankful you're here." I left the ring in his hand. I meant every word I said; the fact that he'd protested proved that he was the right one.

The last place I visited was my chambers. Merlin had already packed and had gone to pack for himself. We were to meet in the square and walk out the gate where the rest of the Round Table knights should be waiting. I took a long look around my rooms then picked up my things. This was the hardest quest I'd attempted, probably because I knew I wouldn't be coming back.

For once, everything worked out the way it should—I met Merlin and we walked out to meet the knights together. They were all mounted, waiting for us. There was no time to waste, so we quickly mounted, and took off, determined to ride until sunset.

At sunset, we stopped to camp in a sheltered area by a cave. I gave directions: "Elyan, take care of the horses, they want watering. I need a volunteer to collect wood."

I heard Merlin say, "I'll do it." The next time I turned around, Lancelot was missing. He and Merlin had been friends for a long time and he'd probably gone to help.

When they returned, we had dinner and went to bed rather early, keeping the fire going. I don't think the Dorocha disturbed us because I was never woken. At any rate, we'd determined to leave as early as possible after first light, so we could go as far as possible before nightfall.

xxxXxxx

In the morning we left very quickly, amazingly enough. Following the road was easier than I thought it would be. Bandits must be too scared to be out harassing anyone; I couldn't blame them. The downside to taking the road was all the bodies—villagers who hadn't made it to the safety of Camelot's citadel. So many dead. It left me sad but more determined to end this. "We have to make Daobeth by sunset," I told everyone. They picked up the pace. It would take hard riding to get there, but we could do it.

Shortly before sunset, we rode up to the crumbling fortress. It was a forbidding, lonely place, but it was shelter. "Pair up. Look for any kind of wood. Light some fires quickly," I directed. Like they needed the instruction, but order helped fight panic.

Everyone split up to collect firewood while carrying torches. The Dorocha's screams began, frightening all of us. We gathered together as screams started coming closer, surrounding us. A Dorocha launched itself at us and I warded it off with a torch.

"Let's go!" I yelled.

"We don't have enough wood!" Percival yelled back.

"Go!" I repeated. The knights ran back to the fire pit where we'd left Merlin and Lancelot. Merlin lit the wood we gathered. We gathered around the fire, facing outward. Most of us held torches. It was a good thing we'd slept last night, because probably none of us would sleep tonight.

"This won't last us all night," Percival whispered to me.

"We'll be safe enough for a while," I replied. One by one we settled down to wait out the night.

Sometime later, Gwaine threw a log on the fire and said, "That's the last one. We could draw lots; see who gets to find more."

"I'll go," I volunteered.

"You'll want help," Lancelot said.

"I'll help him," Merlin offered. Of course.

"You certain you're the best one?" I asked him, trying to keep things light.

He caught on. "Well, what makes you think you know how to gather firewood?" Well, I had asked for that, and it worked. The knights chuckled.

I didn't actually pick up a thing. Merlin collected the firewood while I stood guard with a torch. Suddenly a Dorocha charged at us from behind. "Merlin!" I yelled, and dropped the torch to tackle Merlin out of the way. That knocked us off the wall we'd been on. "Let's go!" I yelled as we got up with amazing speed and ran through passages in the fortress. Finally we found a room with a door, went in and closed it behind us. The Dorocha seemed to lose interest.

We hid behind a corner in the room, breathing hard. Merlin tied a cloth around my injured arm. I guess I looked uncomfortable still, because he gave me a confused look. "It's cold," I said.

"Right," he commented.

"You don't feel it?"

"I c . . ." He shrugged and shook his head.

"You know, Merlin, you've more courage than I thought."

"Seriously? Was that praise?"

"Don't be thick." He chuckled and that made me respond in kind. Even at the worst of times he can get me to laugh. We sat back and listened to the screaming spirits. "All the terrors I've met . . . I was never concerned about dying." And I've faced some horrible things, but this . . . it made me feel vulnerable. And I hated that.

"I don't believe you should now," he replied.

I hadn't expected a response. "Sometimes you baffle me."

"You never figured me out?"

"No."

"I've always felt if matters had been different, we'd've been great friends."

"Yeah." That was truer than I cared to admit.

"That's if you hadn't been quite the conceited, supercilious, dollop head." I laughed again. "We'll beat the Dorocha. We will, Arthur, together." He was so serious—he really meant it.

"Well, I'm grateful for that. You really are a courageous man, Merlin. Between fights." He chuckled.

"You don't realize how often I've saved your life."

"Ha. If I do become king, I'm gonna make you court jester." We laughed together until the Dorocha shrieked closer to us. "I've heard that the darkest hour is just before the dawn."

"Seems rather dark now."

"It shouldn't be long then." The Dorocha suddenly screamed and swept through the door. I tried to get up, to stop it, but Merlin pulled me back and stood up, running straight for it. "Merlin, no!" I yelled, but he jumped into its path. It caught him in the chest, stopped him mid-air and threw him back against the wall.

Just then, Lancelot crashed through the door and warded off the Dorocha with his torch. Then he handed it to Percival and turned to me. I'd jumped up to meet him. "What happened?" he asked.

We ran to Merlin, who was lying on the floor next to the wall. So still. The rest of the knights moved further into the room. We turned Merlin over to find him frozen over like the other corpses we'd found. I had no words for this—I thought I'd been scared before, but now . . .

A/N- When I saw the transcript for this part, I was puzzled when I read "Samhain" in place of what I heard through my speakers (it sounded like "selwin" to my American ears, I don't know what y'all heard) That made me curious enough to look it up on Wikipedia (not 100% reliable, I know). I discovered that it's written/pronounced differently in different versions of Gaelic, and one version is "Sauin." To me, that sounds a lot like what I thought I heard (if that makes sense to you, congrats!). So now I have it all squared away in my head. Thus ends my "gee whiz" moment for the day. :)