A/N: Short explanation for all this angst: I was feeling kind of down later on in the day and decided to do something with that shitty feeling we call sadness, so what better way to express it than through creative writing.
Disclaimer: Well, my name isn't Tsugumi Ohba, so I guess I don't own Death Note now do I?
In a dim-litted room on a gloomy day, one blonde 14-year old sat hunched over on the edge of his bed. A single picture held gently in his hands, a picture that he held near and dear to him...a picture of his mother.
The only person that could ever look at him with the most genuine love in the world, no matter how he was, and still care about him.
Mello stared down at the photograph of the only truly important person in his life and gave a weak smile. In the picture, his mother stood, her smile big and bright, her stormy grey eyes twinkling with life and her hair falling down her back like a golden waterfall...she was so happy that day.
The longer Mello stared at the picture the more the deep ache in his chest grew until the pain was almost unbearable and he felt as if his heart just ripped into a million pieces until only a single drop of blood was left to dissolve away in his chest, burning him from the inside out.
The pain, the agony of losing his mother was too much for him to bear and Mello tried to force the tears away but he just couldn't, they ended up falling anyway. She meant the world to him and now, she was dead, gone forever and Mello would never see her again. He would never see her bright smile again..her eyes that were filled with so much happiness and love when she looked at him..her voice that always sang him a sweet lullaby to lull him back to sleep when he woke up from a nightmare..he would never get to hug her and just be held in her arms. ever. again.
The tears stung his cheeks and burned his eyes as they relentlessly fell in an ongoing stream of pure heartbreak, soaking his face completely. No matter how many tears he cried though, it would never bring his mother back with him.
Mello tensed up and carefully slipped the photo under his pillow. He grit his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to contain himself. He felt like he was having a heart attack. His thoughts continued to play memories of his mother and him in his head, so many special memories...and then that one tainted memory he could never forget, where he watched his mother die, replayed over and over again in his head. The horrible memory of her eyes, that were once so full of life, glazing over with death was the final straw for Mello and he finally fell to his knees and sobbed, letting out pained cries. The burning and tearing hurt so bad, that he wanted to rip at his head and chest until it stopped.
But Mello refrained, it wouldn't do anything besides hurt him even worse and he didn't want that, he wanted to be happy, to be with his mother again back in his own country.
The horrible realization that that he could never go back gave Mello the sensation that his mind and everything, was rotting away torturously slow, emphasizing the torment and the suffering and the utter despair until there nothing else he could feel but those damned emotions.
No one else would love him like she did, no one else would care about him like she did, no one else would even be able to make him as happy as she did.
She was...all he had and she was gone, they were so close and he loved her with all his heart that would soon be completely shattered beyond repair.
Mello curled up on the floor and unceasingly cried, wanting to be held and comforted but no one here would do that for him because he lost his parents just like everyone else here and no one got any special treatment. He couldn't do anything but lie here on the cold floor and wail, left alone with his agonizing thoughts and dying heart.
He truly had no one anymore.
A/N: You guys don't know how hard I cried while writing this. I hate bringing Mello pain in my stories, it makes me so damn upset but I can't help it, i'm one for angst and torturing myself with sadness.
Anyway, i've always wondered how Mello felt when he thought about his mothers death and I always felt that they were really close so I thought maybe the only time Mello would truly let his tough exterior break and let himself cry and show his unhappiness is when he was alone and was remembering his past with his mom and her death.