A/N: This story was inspired by my dad and my brother, who actually re-enacted several battles like this the other week when we went out for a meal. The stuff with the peas is something my dad did with me when I was little.
(I wrote most of this on a friend's laptop whilst I was in London. I had no immediate access to my dad, my brother or the internet and therefore wrote this from memory without knowing who was actually doing the fighting. Do you know how difficult it is to find out about something like that on Wikipedia…? On finally finding out from my dad today, I've also checked up on the Code Geass-verse's alternate history in relation to Napoleon. Since I got back I think I've fixed everything, but I could be wrong, so I apologise for any errors.)
Disclaimer: I don't own Code Geass or its characters. Nor do I own the Battle of Austerlitz. That was a real event in our universe (although in the Code Geass-verse I have no idea…) although it may not have happened quite like this, this is the version my dad told me... I also don't own Caesar's 'Commentarii' which are two books written by him, the first whilst he was on a campaign across Gaul and Britannia (Commentarii de Bello Gallico) and the other during Rome's Civil War (Commentarii de Bello Civili). I felt like throwing in a reference to it because my little brother has a bit of an obsession with Caesar. Wow, I disclaimed a lot…
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It was dinner time at the Imperial Villa, and Marianne was watching contentedly as her son Lelouch fussed over his little sister Nunally, whilst his visiting half brothers and sisters sat quietly and the maids brought in the food.
The second prince and the second and third princesses, Schniezel, Cornelia and Euphemia were here for a visit, and they were waiting for the third prince, Clovis, to arrive before they began eating. He'd been due to arrive half an hour previously, but had been delayed and was instead expected imminently. Why were they here? Well all of the various sons and daughters of His Majesty, Charles di Britannia, were gathering in the villa in preparation for the celebration of Britannia's most recent triumph, the decisive victory of the country now know as Area Nine.
Little Nunally was, of course, still too young to fully understand what was going on, she was only three after all. The seven year old Lelouch on the other hand was full of questions about the battles, wanting to know all about the strategies used. He was quick witted and incredibly intelligent for his age, and she had no doubt that he'd grow up to be a great general, leading Britannia to further victories, if that was the path he chose. He took after his father, especially with that face he pulled from time to time, so very serious for someone so young.
And, as she'd somewhat expected, he left off play-reprimanding Nunally for banging her cutlery on the table, and instead turned to face Schniezel. Schniezel was the eldest of the children present, and, at fifteen, had just had his first taste of warfare as his father had taken him to spectate at Britannia's decisive victory. Lelouch, of course, had heard about this, and was now pestering Schniezel for the details.
Nunally was watching her brother with an utterly awed look in her eyes, an expression that only very young children were capable of, before they grew up and became disillusioned by the reality of the world.
Euphemia was sitting quietly, her mild mannered and uncertain nature, which was something Marianne hoped she might lose a little of when she got older, not allowing her to interrupt the over-eager pair of boys from their exuberant discussion. The same restriction most certainly did not apply to the ever-aggressive Cornelia, who was interjecting and expanding on her brother's tale, probably from what she's heard from her brother before.
"So you've started studying warfare now?" asked Schniezel, "who's your favourite general?"
"I like Caesar!"
"Have you read his Commentarii?"
"Yep!" said Lelouch beaming. "In the original Latin!"
"Good for you."
"He was a good general," said Lelouch speculatively, "but Britannia proved too much for him. His defeat is where our family line started you know."
"I know. The election of the super-king is also where our calendar dates from. But what about our generals? Britannian war leaders of the past?"
"No, I haven't heard so much about them yet. My teacher says we'll study them soon though."
"So what sort of tactical stuff have you covered so far?"
"Hmmm..." said Lelouch, putting his fork to his lips in thought. Then he reached out and spooned some peas onto his plate. First he grouped them into a roundish blob, with no particular order to it. "Right," he started. "This is a stupid way to organise your troops. Because if your enemy has a weapon that launches projectiles like a cannon, then-" he grabbed his fork and shoved it into the group of peas, scooping up a bunch of them and moving them to one side. "In one hit your enemy takes out a lot of your troops. Fifteen peas' worth" he counted.
He brushed those peas back into the group, which he then rearranged into an elongated rectangle, two peas thick. "This is how you should do it:" he repeated the shoving motion of his fork. "This way only four peas' worth of troops fall in battle. Plus it means it's easier to flank your enemies, and, even in a situation with no projectiles, you aren't climbing over your own dead to fight."
"Also a broad front line can make your army look more numerous, which can sometimes be a useful intimidation tactic." added Schniezel.
"One of the most important things is to know the battlefield and arrange your army accordingly. A hill is a good place to be because your enemy has to climb it to attack you and that wears them out, especially if they're wearing heavy armour and carrying weapons. Trees make for good camouflage for yourself and you enemy. Never get caught between your enemy and a river – it severely limits manoeuvrability." recited Lelouch. "Of course, with modern technology these probably aren't important."
"But the main message is still true. A general who knows the battlefield and plans his tactics accordingly will have a major advantage." said Schniezel. "Speaking of knowing how to use a battlefield, I know a great example of how to use one efficiently. The Battle of Austerlitz. We Britannian's didn't fight in this battle. It was a battle between the French and the combined armies of Austria and Russia. The general leading the French army was Napoleon. You know who he is right?"
"He's the guy that conquered the British Isles and drove us out of our homeland. Which wasn't very nice." said Lelouch moodily.
"Ah, but to defeat the Britannian's must make him a very great general indeed. And some say that this battle I'm about to show you was one of his greatest victories."
"Ok. The first sneaky thing Napoleon did was to trick the enemy into thinking that his army was in a weakened state, and to encourage them to behave as he wanted, he deliberately weakened his right flank."
"That's a good trick, by making your enemy make assumptions that aren't true, you can't predict their actions and give them a false sense of confidence which may make them make wrong decisions." said Lelouch, impressed, committing this particular piece of tactical genius to memory.
"That's right. Now I'll show you the battlefield." Schniezel cast his eyes across the dinner table whilst clearing a small area between himself and Lelouch. Then he reached for the items he needed. "This gravy boat represents a lake." He placed it in front of Lelouch. "This bowl of mash potatoes is a boggy marshy area." This he placed on the opposite side of the table, in front of himself. He upturned an empty bowl and placed it in the middle. "With a hill in the middle. And over here" he laid down a wrinkled napkin on a third edge, some way behind the bowl "is a wooded area on a slight downward incline."
"Napoleon arrives at the battlefield. His troops are in three groups. Group one, which he is part of climbs up the hill. They're not a very large group, but large enough for the enemy to think it may be the entire army. The other two groups are hidden from the Russo-Austrian Army. Group two aren't even here yet, because they're marching from Vienna and will approach from the woods on their arrival. And group three are over here by the potato and the enemy can't see them yet." As he dictated he used three salt cellars to represent where each of the groups were.
"So the allied forces show up, and they're lead by Tsar Alexander the first." The Tsar and his army were apparently represented by a jar of mint sauce. "His army's bigger than Napoleon's army, and defiantly a lot bigger than the group on top of the hill. So they see that group and approach with confidence, after all they think that Napoleon's army is weakened, especially on the right flank. But that group starts to retreat backwards towards the woods. So the Russo-Austrian army marches up the hill, claiming the high ground. But the Napoleon's group that was on the hill is still retreating, and they don't want to let them go if they can eliminate them and their leader. So they come down off of the hill and keep on chasing. This however was a bad idea." He was acting out the motions of each group and Lelouch and the other children were riveted, even Cornelia who knew this battle well was watching closely, entertained by her older brother playing toy soldiers with food items. It was, to say the least, an unusual occurrence.
"It was bad because when they were halfway between the hill and the trees, the second part of Napoleon's forces, the ones that were marching from Vienna, emerged from the forest to support the first group who turned round to fight. Of course this group had just marched 110 miles in two days and were a bit tired, but the Russo-Austrian army didn't know that. So their army, which was tired from having run up to the top of the hill and charging back down again, saw this strengthened group turning to fight them, and decided that maybe being up on the hill was better idea. But unfortunately whilst they'd been looking in the other direction, the third group of Napoleon's army had emerged from the marsh and snuck up the hill behind them, aided by a very convenient mist which had hidden them from view as they did so." The mist was represented by a napkin draped over the salt.
"So the Russo-Austrian army turned round and the mist parted on the hill and they discovered they'd been surrounded. Flanked on both sides, by an army that was getting closer, since the group on the hill had moved forward as soon as they were revealed by the sun ripping through the mist,-" here Schniezel ripped the napkin off of the salt cellar and lunged forward with the salt. "-the allied forces were not in a good position. Now, if they'd have stood their ground to fight they might have been better off, and some of them, the more disciplined units, did, but unfortunately many units weren't as disciplined or experienced as they might've been, and therefore faced with the increasingly likely chance of death in the battle, many of them attempted to flee."
"Most turned this way," he turned the mint sauce towards, and tapped it in the direction of, the lake, "and were driven to the water. Very few survived, as since it was winter, the water was frozen, but not frozen enough, and many drowned in the viciously cold water." He paused, holding the jar over the gravy sombrely, and then replaced it back between the salt cellars and the rim of the bowl. He twisted it sharply, ninety degrees, to face the 'marsh' potato. "This wasn't helped by the fact that Napoleon ordered his men to fire on those trying to escape this way. Some turned this way and attempted to escape into the marsh. Some broke through around the edges and tried to flee back across the ground they'd come across. But unfortunately running away is not a good tactic. Can you tell me why Lelouch?"
Lelouch beamed brightly up at his older half-brother. "Because if you run away you are showing your enemy your back. They can see you but you can't see them. You're very vulnerable."
"Yep. Not very many of them lived either. So despite being outnumbered, Napoleon made excellent use of his knowledge of the battlefield and some very smart tactics to win a decisive victory."
It was as he was making the salt cellars do a little victory dance around the hill, that Clovis finally entered the dining room.
"I apologise for my late arrival and thanks for waiting for me to eat." His eyes fell on his half brothers, and then on Nunally who was laughing delightedly at Schniezel's display. "Did I miss something?"
"Schniezel was teaching me about battle tactics!" said Lelouch, smiling. "Hey Clovis, will you play chess with me after dinner? Schniezel said he'd play but he always beats me, and I don't like losing." he pouted.
"I'll play. But how do you think I feel, you always beat me... and how will you know when you're on Schniezel's level if you never play him..." Clovis whined as he sat down at the table. "Anyway, shall we eat?"