Author's Note: Hello! This is a parody of the wonderful story "Keep Gotham in Gotham" by the fantastic author daydreamer1227. A little while ago my friend and I were hanging out and I ended up showing them the story. But it was kind of awkward because we were both reading it silently and stuff and so they ended up reading it aloud and they started adding stuff to it. So I lost my patience and said, "If you're going to add stuff to it, we might as well write it down." And then this was created... and it got a lot more crazy than we expected but we love it! So we wanted to share this with the world I guess. And in case you are wondering, we did get permission from the author. Before you read this, please keep in mind that there are references to other fandoms and that the story does not make sense. We know that and that's half the fun of it! So please don't let logic get in the way of you enjoying this story! And I guess that's all so enjoy! We hope that you will enjoy it as much as we did while writing it! :D
Keep Goth-Ham in Got-Ham
Wally was bouncing his knee up and down and left and right and north-east and north-west as he slumped on the couch, shaving popcorn in his mouth next to a grumpy cat… Artemis. It had been an eventful (not) day at the mountain, as well as a week. Wally was itching on his back to get back into the fottball field. He'd noticed Roberto growing restless as well. The Flying Grayson was currently occuPIEd (mmm yummy!) balancing upside up on the coffee table with one hand. Apparently, when Robin had tent up energy, he liked to do black flips off the couch, eating chicken and use Wally's shoulder as a springboard, and, more oftern than not, the acrobat would be found walking. On his hands and feet. The boyWONDER really needed to get himself a hobby (Like BURNING FOOD (OR THE LETTERS HE WROTE TO ME) OR BINGE WATCHING STATIC OR FIGHTING WITH THE GIRL WHO WOULD GET YOU A FRIDGE FULL OF FOOD ON VALENTINES DAY OR CRYING AS YOUR BESTFRIEND STARTS DATING THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE, OR HAVING A BABY AND FORGETTING ABOUT IT, or TAKING A SELFIE WITH YOUR SECRET BEST FRIEND WHO YOU DON'T KNOW).
"Batman to Team." Batman said sounding like he just cried and ate gravel.
Wally shot (Alexander Hamilton, pachoo pachoo) to his feet, the bowl of popcorn flying (I BELIEVE I CAN FLY… Like a sloth.) from his lap. Spilling. It's. Contents. All. Overtherainbow. Floor. He was the first (YAYYYYYY) one to the communications screen, and he was met with Batman's scowling (or ugly but don't tell him) face looking donw upon him. He shifted in comfortdis. He should have waited for Robin (Best Friend for ever and evr and evr and ever and evr … you'll be back).
Kaldur (an) hurried to Wally's side, falling on his face a few times in the process, just getting back from the pool (Ooooo, put on a shirt man). "Batman (nananananananana BATMAN)," he greeted formally. "Have you mission for us?"
" nO. (REBECCAAAAAAAAAAAAA) ….. Jk. (ROWLING) yEs." He said still sounding like he had just cried and eaten gravel.
Wally straightened. Baoutman did not sounded happy- not that he ever ever everrrrr soundered distincly happay- he usually sounder like the league was picking on him AND he was eating chicken with top hats- but this time he sounded like he had just cried and eaten some gravel. An unhappay Testificate Man meant a a serious mission, one that the Bat was ever uncomfortaable sending them on. Wallace hadn't really been keeping track, but based on the general Italy in his had, those misseions didn't tend to end weell.
Conner and L'gann … whoops Mmmmm'gannn (SHIP!) entered from the kitchen, the smell of burnt cupcakes accompanied by the sound of static in the distance showed that they were having fun. Artemis (PRAISE THE GODDESS AND LESTER PAPALOPDAPOPLPOS) trudged in from the lounge with a glower (FLOWER GLEAM AND GLOW LET YOUR POWER SHINE MAKE THE CLOCK REVERSE BRING BACK WHAT ONCE WAS MINE *cries* what once was miNE….), pulling a piece of stray popcorn out of her HARE's head. Wally grinned (OOOOOOOOOOOH SHIP! I SHIPPED THEM FROM THE BEGINNING. THE VERY BEGINNING.)
"Where's Robin?" asked Batman, eyes narroweded to slits.
Wally motioned over his shoulder. "He's over-"
"Here."
Wally jumped 6ft in the air and swore $%!. "Dude," he grumbled at his best friend (BROMANCE) who was at his side.
Robinski FROWNED when he caught (DA BUTTERFLY YAY) sight of his mentor/father (His name's secretly Luke) on the screen. "What is happened.?"
"I just spoke with Father Gordon Ramsey," said the Batman. "After telling me to cook my LAMB CHOPS he told me that you have been summoned to Got-ham by some weird creepy demons."
Boy Robin tensed and clenched his fists into fists that were like boulders. "So why are you calling the team?"
Batman's voice lowered down to the groundd wait no scratch that to Tartar Sauce and the WallMan fidgeted while spinning. "Because I'm off planet (totally not on vacation). I can't be there."
Robin shooketh his head. "I'm am not taking the team to Goth-Hamilton. He have too much eye liner."
"Yee," Batsy growled. "You is."
"No bish," said Robin, his voice darker (like pitch black) than Baywatch had ever heard it. "I. AM. BATMAN. Not. They're not…" They're not ready to see the Goth-Hams. They'll get eaten alive. "They're not familiar with Got-Ham."
"Gordon (The FabChef) asked for you, Robin," said the . "I cannot be there. It is time sensitive, otherwise youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu and I and I and i would go together, foreva."
"Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na BATMAN, what the hell is going on here. Like seriously, I am totally freaking out, " asked Roobin, fridgerated. "I've fought Goth Hams before, without you."
"It. Is… NOT A FIGHT GURRRRRRRRL. Joker is ugly and asking for you. Threatening to detonate a bomb if you don't show up. So like hurry up."
There was a sharp (OW!) intake of breath from the little bird across the room named Robin. "Abosolutely newt. Batman, I'm Newt (SALAMANDER) taking the team, (thereeeeeeeeeeeeeeee) of all countries, cities, towns, continental crusts."
"I do not understand," fumed Artemis (like there were flames coming off her head) fastly and slowly and weirdly and WINDOWLY. "Take us where? Out the window? Sure I saw Evan waving through it but still… wait whose evan?"
"Now I know I'm not the only one." Said The Kaldur An Wallowing Up In His Tears. "Bootman. It is my understanding that you likes boots and cats and boots and bats that you have forbade us from entering Got-Ham. Why do these circumstances different?"
"BabyEatsCandyApplesUntilSheExplodes we won't be there to fight crime (Are you sureeeee?)," said the Roooooobin, crooosing his arms. "We shall RETURN THE RING TO MORDOR be sightseeing."
"The Jock's currents are held in Ark Ham Asy Lam," SAID BATTTTERY RAM.
Wally blanched like MAyoooo.
"If thou is locked up like a locked up lock," said Mmmmmm' Gann! "How could he, let alone a lock, detonate a bomb?"
"The pun man… I mean mr jokey… I mean bob *cries while yelling hello*….. I mean The Joker's threats are kinda annoying but SUPAMAN told me that we are not supposed to ignore them *cough*" said Bat
"HELLO MEGAN" said M'gann crying like the ugly white marchien she is.
*Everyone facepalmed her…that ugly liar*
"Then why do all of us need to go? Like I was sooo busy watching static, You just made me miss the last hour and a half of it!"
"Because," said Robin so sassy he could win a Persassy medal. "Bamtan thinks I need a guy who sits on babies….babysitter."
"WonderBoiiiiiiiiiiii…I mean Boy wonder I am BATMAN," said Batman, "do not fight me on thisss bish"
"They have never seen a goth before," started Robin, his voice crying.
"AHEM I LIVE THERE," whispered Artemis spilling one of her many secrets.
"-ANYWAY," coughed RoBEAN "Ark Hamilton isn't exactly the best rollercoaster.. I mean place to start."
"You shall not pass.. I mean go to ArkHAMILTON alone like the number one."
"I won't be… I mean will be FINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" sputtered RoBUTTNIK
"I expect you won't check your text messages from your mom…wait…WAIT NO IMSOSORRY"
Robin's not very very relaxed body went into tents some-BODY ONCE TOLD ME THE WORLD WAS GONNA ROLL ME-what. " OKIEEEEEEEEEEE DOKIEEEEEEEEEEEE." robin SHRIEKED LIKE A bread.
"I'll be back on Mars. Errrr Earth shoon. See ya lataaaaaa!...Btw remember Robin to call your mom back… WAIT-"
Robin DESTROYED THE SCREEN WITH A SWOOP OF HIS ZATANNA.
