She ran through the hallway. Blast, why are all the bathrooms full! The one time you really need to go and there's absolutely no luck in finding an empty bathroom. Another bathroom appeared around the corner and she dashed inside, only to dash out again upon finding it full. And of course I'm nowhere near my room or the elevator to take me there. Why'd I have to wait so long before taking a break to go? Blast, this one's locked!
Desperate, she scanned the area for a solution. She knew that even as an adult, with the ability to control her bodily functions, she couldn't hold it in forever. Spotting a custodial closet nearby, she dashed inside. I can't hold it any longer, so this will have to do. With all the luck I've been having, I wouldn't be surprised if someone walked in. She turned over one of the buckets and dropped her pants. She used one of the many absorbent towels to wipe herself and was just about to pull up her pants when the door opened. She froze there in horror as she looked up into Commander Spock's normally stoic eyes, though they registered shock at the moment. Without a word, he shut the door on her.
Of all people, why him? He won't understand, he's a blasted Vulcan! She quickly pulled up her pants and cleaned up her mess. As she stepped outside, she noticed Spock standing next to the door.
"Ensign Jensen, please explain to me why you were relieving yourself in a bucket when there are several bathrooms located in the nearby vicinity," he said matter-of-factly.
"Commander, I waited to use the restroom until it was urgent, and for some reason every bathroom I checked was either full or locked. I simply couldn't wait any longer so I came up with the best alternative at the time."
He lifted his eyebrow, that one, annoying eyebrow she'd come to despise. It meant that his more prominent Vulcan side didn't understand her, probably found her reasoning illogical. He would probably ask her all sorts of questions, and knowing how close he was with the Captain, soon the whole bridge was likely to know. That would be the end of it. Back at home, people were always making cracks about her because of her uncanny ability to get into embarrassing situations. So far she'd managed to avoid that aboard her new assignment, the U.S.S. Enterprise, and she'd hoped to maintain that record. But that came to an abrupt end the minute she sat down on that bucket. And sure enough, at dinner that evening, she could hear the whispers and snickers all around her. She was just about to leave to escape the burning in her cheeks when she saw the captain walk towards her.
"Evening Ensign," he said pleasantly, sitting down across from her.
"Captain," she said with a nod.
"I wish I could get them to stop, but unfortunately not even the captain has the ability to control people that way." She nodded, fully understanding she'd have to live with it until they found something else to laugh at. "But you have to admit, it is pretty funny, especially because of where you come from."
"Yes sir, Nantucket does bring a certain line to mind." She watched his eyes look up for a minute. Then he smiled and looked back at her.
"There once was a girl from Nantucket," he said, getting up from the table, "who got caught peeing in a bucket."