A/N: Took me about ten minutes from start to finish. Pointless-ish. Enjoy! (Hopefully.)
Disclaimer: Not mine. A non-profit, amateur effort not intended to infringe upon Rowling or any other copyright holder.
The Adventures of Harry Potter, the Maladjusted Vampire
Part One: Jam, You Say?
"Hey, what's that on your shirt, mate?" the redhead asked curiously around a mouthful of food. Those around him were showered with bits of scrambled eggs as he thrusted his fork questioningly at the large red splotch on his friend's shirt.
The dark-haired youth looked down.
"Oh, this?"
He prodded the mysterious substance with a finger.
"It's just the blood of my victims. Nothing a simple cleaning charm can't fix." He smiled disarmingly at the gathering crowd, pointy canines flashing unnoticeably.
There was a long silence, which was broken by the faint sound of static. The handsome young man frowned, his dark brows furrowing.
"What?" he whispered furiously, head bowed, talking seemingly to himself. He shook his touseled locks and tapped something in his ear. His expression changed into that of quizzical confusion.
Then--
"Shit…"
He looked up quickly at the stupefied crowd around him.
"Oh, umm… it's just… err… raspberry jam! Yes, yes. Jam. That's what it is." He nodded decisively to emphasize the truth of his statement.
There was another silence before he flashed his brilliant mega-watt smile, his lower lip carefully concealing the tips of his canines. Life swept back into the crowd as the females cooed in adoration and the males turned from the cavity-inducing display of sweetness.
No one noticed the suspicious lack of jam on the table.
A/N: Yes, I know. Transmitters can't function inside Hogwarts. Bleh. Hope you enjoyed my first post. Maybe more to come, depending on my brain activity and part one's reception. Please notify me of any grammatical errors! Comments/feedback will be muchly appreciated.