Disclaimer ~ Usual disclaimers apply, I own nothing I'm just playing...
Authors Note ~ Written in January 2008. A nice, short, angsty Birthday fic, theres nothing much else to say about this really, Enjoy ^_^
Unwanted Birthday Gift
For the first time in my life, I pray for the honour to be taken away before its even been bestowed upon me. When I was little I wanted this more than anything, wanted to be just like him, matching in everyway. I wanted to make him proud to call me his son, in some ways I still do but not this way, never this way
I'm not sure when I changed my mind, my beliefs, I don't even know what happened to make me want to turn my back on everything I've ever been taught. Maybe I just grew up and developed my own ideas and understanding about the Wizarding world. Anyway none of that matters right now I'm stuck between a rock and a very, very hard place.
Turning 16 is a time for great celebration for most families, especially when it's their only son and heir that has reached the 'big day' oh there is a celebration planned, though I've got to get through the event first, after that I doubt I'll be in the mood for any kind of party.
I wonder what kind of lie my parents fed Headmaster Dumbledore for him to let me leave school so suddenly especially at this crucial time of year, Exam period officially started last week, with the younger years sitting their end of year exams. Being a fifth year and sitting the all important O.W.L examinations, the qualifications which set us up for our future, start on Monday the 8th, today being Thursday makes me believe it must have been a pretty impressive lie. I normally spend my Birthday at school, surrounded by my peers, since it falls so close to exam time, but not this year, no this year I received an urgent message that I had to return home, knowing why I wish I hadn't have bothered, I'd been pulled out of school to officially join the dark side, in the most intimate way possible.
I don't want this to happen, but there is nothing I can do about it. Although they say the Mark has to be taken willingly it is anything but. My mother told me in confidence that if I refuse to join the inner circle then my family will be punished and I will most likely be killed, I'm a big fan of self preservation – I don't want to die. My options as they stand are: take the Mark and suffer excruciating pain along with a life time of submitting to His will and being an outcaste in the Wizarding world, or refuse the mark and meet a painful death, not much of a choice really is it?
I suppose I should stop worrying about it, I've already decided to take the Mark; I don't want my mother to suffer. It's completely pointless getting worked up over a fate I can't change or avoid. My game plan is to take the Mark, accept whatever task the Dark Lord expects me to perform and worry about it then when I'm away from everyone and have time to contemplate things, worry about how I'm going to get out of this
The fact that I'm a special case unnerves me; every other member of the inner circle has had to perform a task before receiving the honour of the Dark Mark, normally a brutal, vicious task that more often than not involves murder, a task designed to prove loyalty and allegiance to he-who-must-not-be-named – a fact my crazy auntie Bellatrix has lectured me about since the moment I arrived at the Manor.
You would think she would be happy to have another member of the family in league with the Dark Lord, I don't think she trusts me, in all honesty she as every reason not to. The fact that I could turn spy for the light side as crossed my mind a couple of times, but who would believe me, son of a suspected Death Eater, and by the time I arrive back at Hogwarts a marked Death Eater myself. I suppose there is a slim chance I could get Potter to believe me, assuming I can get him alone and keep him quiet long enough for me to explain my situation, then again he probably wouldn't believe me he'd think it was some kind of trap or hex me on sight, the latter being the more realistic of the suspected outcomes.
There is always Dumbledore, he might believe me and I get the impression he would offer me protection if the need for it arise, but the boy-who-lived is supposed to be under the old guys protection and he's been in a life or death situation every year since he started Hogwarts, a good 5 years ago.
I quickly give up on that thought before my hopes can pick it up and run with it, I'm on my own that's all there is to it. I'll keep my head down, take the Dark Mark, and go back to Hogwarts during the weekend. I'll sit my O.W.L.s – receive good grades - like nothing has happened and fend off the many questions about my sudden disappearance during breakfast.
But first I've got to get through tomorrow, my 16th birthday, the day I officially become a Death Eater. I think he chose this day on purpose, I'll never be able to have another birthday again without the reminder of accepting the Mark against my will, I'm also sure there is another reason I haven't been asked to prove myself first before being branded, I think this may be a form of punishment for my father who failed to help the Dark Lord rise and regain power, though my father has mentioned a mission he has been entrusted with that will take place shortly, as with all Death Eater tasks he can't reveal it to anybody who's not involved
A knock at my bedroom door stops my thoughts; my visitor doesn't wait for me to invite them in
"Draco, Darling, It is past midnight"
She's using that sweet voice that reminds me of my Mother, I really wish she wouldn't
"Time to come and play with the big boys and girls" She holds out her arm, expecting me to escort her to the drawing room which is acting as a temporary base, while they make me one of them, if she notices my silence she doesn't say anything
"Are you excited?"
"In a way, Auntie Bella" I take her arm and lead her from my room, I know better than to insult her Dark Lord
"You should be. It is a great honour to be selected to carry His Mark, a great honour. I still think you need to prove your loyalty, but no matter the Dark Lord knows best, and if he thinks you are worthy then so be it. Maybe the pain you will suffer as it burns under your skin will be enough to keep you faithful"
It's a wonder she can sound so sweet, when talking about something so disgusting then again she is crazy. I met her for the first time when I arrived at the Manor – She'd spent most of my childhood in Azkaban, escaping only recently - and it didn't take me long to work out just how psychotic she actually is, I'm positive I caught her licking the Mark on her own arm. I'm also beginning to think she has a thing for he-who-must-not-be-named, now that's a sickening thought.
I'm extremely nervous and dreading what I'm about to go through but I refuse to show weakness, it's the Malfoy way. She rants and raves all the way to the drawing room, doing nothing for my nerves. I'm kind of hoping it is a trick and the Dark Lord is actually here to kill me, maybe death would be better, my Aunt wasn't always crazy after all and I really don't want to end up like her.
We stand by the door waiting to be given permission to enter my own drawing room, I can sense Bellatrix getting excited besides me and I wish I had her enthusiasm. Instead I'm only 10 minutes into being 16 and a part of me feels like it's dying already, I feel all kinds of nauseous and I'm almost sure I can feel twinges of pain in my left forearm – great the insanity begins
The doors open in front of us and I step forward, my Malfoy mask – as my intended, Pansy, calls it – in place, hoping I look ready to receive the one gift I haven't asked for.
End
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