Author's Note: This is my first shot at fan fiction. I've been reading it for awhile now, and the more I read and think about the show, the more this idea evolved in my mind. The POV is Andy and most of the story takes place inside her head. I hope you enjoy it!
Author's Note: I do not own Rookie Blue or rights to any song performed by Maroon 5. However, if anyone wants to wrap Ben Bass or Adam Levine and put them under my tree, I won't complain!
I'm at a Payphone
Andy's POV
Okay, so maybe there was a tiny part of my brain (and my heart) that thought maybe Sam would be chosen for the taskforce. After all, he is Sam Swarek: Mr. Undercover. There was a small piece of me that was hoping maybe Candice and JD could reunite and go back to their easy life for a while. When I saw the silhouette of the man that is my new partner, I thought for one brief moment that we were going to get our second chance… until Nick Collins came into view. Sure, I like Nick. He was my break up buddy, and we've become pretty good friends these last few weeks. But Sam is the only person I've ever done UC with, and while I trust Nick, it's going to be odd to be with someone else – pretending to be someone else until this thing is through.
So far things have been okay. The thing about Nick is that his military training and years spent in the desert have made him an impossibly calm and quiet guy. He doesn't mind if I talk, don't talk, ramble or well, he doesn't mind what I do. We're posing as a couple, which is so odd – yet Nick has been a really good guy about the whole thing. He does seem a little quieter than normal, no doubt thinking about Gail and what she could be doing. I know he loves her, even if he doesn't like to talk about it too much. It's there in his eyes, the way Sa-, the way Jerry used to look at Traci.
We've been here for 3 months now. 3 months have gone by without a word to our friends and family. 3 months since Sam asked me to meet him for a drink at the Penny. 3 months since he wanted to get a dog named Boo, and take out my garbage. 3 months since he finally said the three words I never knew I needed him to say as badly as I did. It's been five months since Jerry's death and five months since the one person I thought would never ever walk away turned his back on me. It's been five months that I've been desperately trying to forget about him, to fall out of love with him, to move on and make something different of my life. But I guess that's the thing about love. You don't really get to pick who you fall in love with, and as it turns out, you also don't get to pick whether or not you can fall out of love with them.
"I'm going to go for a quick run", I said suddenly. Nick and I had been watching Friends reruns since dinner, laughing at the jokes and deciding which of our friends' best fits the group of characters we see on TV. So far Ollie is definitely the Chandler of the group and Chris is a shoe in for Ross. Dov is smarter than Joey, but he's got that same loveable charm about him. I really miss those guys. It hit me that Sam is a combination of all three characters and suddenly our teeny, tiny undercover apartment felt impossibly smaller.
I'm about three blocks from the apartment, beating the familiar path Nick and I have taken over the last three months on our weekend runs. Running was pretty much the only connection we had to our old lives. Apparently, drug smugglers need to work out too. For the past three months, I've been eying up the payphone on the corner near a quiet side street. Every time we run by, I think about how much I just want to hear his voice. The way he says "McNally" and how it immediately calms me down, no matter the situation. He always knew how to ease my nerves when I needed him to. This is the first time I've had the chance to run alone and while I'm relishing in the small bit of independence from Nick, it leaves me completely alone with my thoughts, and that is not always a good thing, even I know that much.
In an attempt to shake off any thoughts of maybe using the payphone, I hit shuffle on my iPod and turn the volume up loud enough to drown out the sounds around me. I begin the three block circuit again, vowing to do one more before returning to my new life in my small apartment with my partner/ pretend boyfriend and pretend I'm completely fine and that I don't keep thinking about Sam and what I would have said and done had I not ran into Luke in the hallway.
I'm just coming up on the payphone for a second time, lost in my own head, not fully paying attention to the music or anything for that matter when the lyrics of the song currently blaring through my earphones hit me like a ton of bricks.
I'm at a payphone trying to call home
All of my change I spent on you
Where have the times gone, baby it's all wrong
Where are the plans we made for two?
Why did I not take this song off my iPod? Sam and I had been driving home after a fairly easy shift. We had actually gotten out on time and were both in great moods. Sam suggested we drop our bags at home and walk to the new burger joint a couple blocks away from his place. We were a few blocks from the house when this song came on the radio. Surprisingly, Sam not only knew the title, but also seemed to know the words as well. He grabbed my hand during the first chorus and it was as if the song was meant for us. I remember smiling so hard I thought my cheeks would burst, but I didn't care, I was with Sam Swarek, I was in love with Sam Swarek and he was showing me how he felt, even if he couldn't say those three little words.
You say it's too late to make it, I've wasted my nights,
But is it too late to try?
And in our time that you wasted
All of our bridges burned down
You turned out the lights
Now I'm paralyzed,
Still stuck in that time,
When we called it love,
But even the sun sets in paradise
Why did I decide to take this op? At the time, all I wanted was to get away from everything. To stop feeling the pain I had desperately been trying to ignore. I wanted to clear my head and get a fresh start. I didn't want to be Andy McNally, the girl who had her heartbroken twice in two years. I could not be that girl. But whom am I kidding? Not a night goes by that Sam doesn't cloud my thoughts or become the main character in my dreams. Not a day goes by that I don't think about what he would say, or how he would react to the situations Nick and I are in. I itch to pick up a phone and ask him what he thinks of all of this, what he thinks my next move should be.
Without thinking twice I shove the few coins I have into the slot and dial the number I memorized almost three years ago. Praying for him to answer, the phone rings four times and I start to get the sinking feeling in my stomach when the still familiar voice answers with "Hello… who is this?" Pause. I didn't think about what to do when I actually dialed him. "Hello… hello.. Is anyone there?" the voice on the other end sounds confused and maybe a little annoyed. It is getting later in the evening. "I'm going to hang up if you can't –" "Sam." "An- McNally?" His tone is one of bewilderment and is that hope? Definitely hope. And relief. "Yeah, it's me", I say, suddenly unsure of what to say next, but knowing I only have a few minutes and don't want to waste them. "Listen, I just wanted to let you know I would have gone. I probably would have made you sit there for a while, but I would have gone for a drink. Before you say anything, where are the plans we made for two? If "Happy Ever After" did exist, I would still be holding you like this" I sing softly to him, hoping he remembers that perfect night that feels like a lifetime ago. Hoping he gets what I'm trying to say, and even though he said he would wait, hoping he still is.
"McNally, when you come home, I'm going to show you what happy ever after really means. I mean it." "You have 30 seconds" "Sam, I'm gonna hold you to that." Suddenly, I wasn't so upset about having to return to my undercover life anymore, knowing that maybe I would get my happy ever after.