What the Hell?
I know I should be completing my other stories, but i want to get this one out first. I saw Guardians of the Galaxy twice and I loved it! Well, enjoy!
Chapter One
I have no idea what the hell just happened.
Seriously. No. Fucking. Idea.
I was on Xandar. Minding my own business, mind you. I had noticed the Flora Colossus by the fountain but hadn't seen his companion, which was my first mistake. My second mistake was hoping nobody would come after me for the bounty on my head.
It wasn't even that high really.
Only 90,000 units.
Hardly anything.
Okay, I might have accidentally blown up a few of Yondu Udonta's ships. They sort of deserved it for trying to eat me. You kill a few guys, and suddenly, you're enemy number one!
I honestly thought I was the only "criminal" who'd be so stupid/smart as to get so close to Nova Corp. And that was my third mistake.
Sigh...
Karma's a bitch.
As I was saying, minding my own business walking peacefully along, when the sound of fighting reached my ears. I tried to ignore it, walking faster away from the noises, but as I said, Karma's a bitch.
A deep yell rang out, before I was bowled over by a familiar man.,
"Peter?!" I screamed in shock.
"Hi Vera!" He shouted back, before scrambling to his feet and jumping off the walkway we were on. " Can't talk now!"
I looked in the direction he'd come from and groaned.
Just like Peter "Star Lord" Quill to get mixed up with someone like Gamora, the Mad Titan's daughter. I sighed. I kinda owed Peter.
I jumped to my feet and sailed over the railing as the Flora Colossus from before was putting him in a large bag.
"Sorry big guy, he's a friend of mine and I can't let you take him," I told the tree-like being. I didn't want to hurt the guy, as his kind were quite rare.
"I am Groot," the plant intoned and I grimaced, but danced in close, dodging his reaching vines. I jumped up and kicked the wooden hand holding onto the bag containing Peter.
"Sorry!" I yelled as I pushed Peter away.
"Yaaaah!" I suddenly went flying to the side as Gamora appeared, sending her feet into my hip, and me into the cascaded off of me in waves as I flailed out of the feature. Gamora went flying by me, Peter having shot her in the face.
"Go Peter!" I screamed as he kicked his way from the bag and ran like the dickens away from these crazy people.
He yelped as the Flora Colossus' partner shot him in the back, sending thousands of volts of electricity coursing through his body. He collapsed, prompting me to race to him.
I didn't get anywhere near my friend.
Two steps, and I was surrounded by a golden shimmering light.
Nova Corp had arrived.
The five of us were taken to Nova Corps' on-planet detention center so they could put us in their records.
"Vera Sfilex?" The officer questioned. "Half-Asgardian, half Terran." I rolled my eyes.
"That's what is says right?" I shot out. I'm so flippin' stupid. I should have kept walking. Peter's a big boy, he could have handled it himself.
They shove us all into a podship and we're off to the Kyln, their prison for the baddest of the bad.
"Vera, what the hell were you doing on Xandar?" Peter questioned me from across the small space. Gamora and I were on once side with Peter and the two, apparent bounty hunters.
I laughed sheepishly, and scratched the back of my neck awkwardly with my handcuffed hands.
"Yeah funny story that..." I averted my eyes. "Well, the boys were getting really antsy; really hungry if you know what I mean." He winced. "I tried to leave, but you know how Yondu is, he sent the boys after me, and I defended myself."
I could see the raccoon staring at me, and his partner, Groot supposedly, smiled wide.
My friend sighed and placed his head in his hands.
"How many?" He asked, exasperated.
I didn't answer and he just shook his head.
"Probably killed at least ten for that kind of bounty," the racoon suddenly spoke up. "70,000 units? Whew! That's higher than yours pretty boy."
"Don't call me that," Peter countered, making the raccoon growl.
"I am Groot." The plant spoke up and I rolled my eyes.
"Will you just shut up?" Gamora suddenly spoke up. and glared at all of us.
"All of you just shut your damned mouths. We're here at your new home," our guard sneered.
The pod connected to the Kyln's entry port and we were marched out.
"I've escaped 22 prisons. This one will be no different. You're lucky Gamora showed up otherwise, Groot and I would be collecting that bounty. You too Sfilex," the raccoon boasted as we traipsed down the corridor.
"I've had a lot of people try to kill me, and i won't be brought down by a raccoon and a talking tree," Peter spat at the small creature.
The raccoon stopped, confused.
"What's a raccoon?" He queried.
"It's what you are," I spoke and he just shook his head.
"Ain't anything like me, but me."
Peter and I just scoffed.
"I am Groot," Groot announced once more quite happily.
"So what?" my friend snapped at the plant being. He turned his attentions to the other female. "So, what's this orb thing? What's it do and why do so many people want it?"
"I have no words for an honor-less thief."
Ooh. Snotty.
"Pretty high and mighty for the lackey of a genocidal maniac. Yeah I know who you all, we all do," the raccoon shot back at her.
Gamora seemed surprised we knew her.
"Yeah we all know who you are. Who is she?" Peter whispered the last bit to me and I grinned.
"I am Groot."
"Yeah you said that already," I could tell Groot was getting on Peter's nerves.
"The adopted daughter of the Mad Titan Thanos. Last of the Zen Whoberis and raised as Thanos' weapon. She's been on loan to Ronan for the past year or so to help find the orb," I told him. The woman glared at me and I smirked back. "I am very familiar with your father dear. I've got beef with him. He's hurt a very good friend of mine"
She jerked at me, but was pushed back in line by two guards.
We exchanged a dirty look, promising pain later.
"I wasn't retrieving the orb for Ronan. I was betraying him. I had an agreement to sell it to a third party." Gamora explained.
"I am Groot."
"Yeah that's about as interesting as the first 89 times you told us," Peter growled "What's up with Giving Tree here?"
The raccoon smirked. "He don't know talking good like me and you. So his vocabulary is limited to "I" and "am" and "Groot." In that particular order."
We were finally stopped outside a caged area where guards were going through all of our stuff.
"Hey!" They were messing with my weapons!
I squeezed through the gate just as Peter did. The stupid guard was listening to his walkman. Even I knew not to touch that.
"Hey bilgesnipe! Put those down before you kill us all!" I shouted angrily at the man holding my guns. He laughed and elbowed his partner.
Oh.
Oh no.
You do not condescend me. You sure as hell do not patronize me, especially when I am trying to protect every ungrateful piece of shit on this station. I roared and jumped at the offending man and wrapped the chain of my handcuffs around his neck, cutting off his air supply.
His partner yelled and grabbed me, yanking hard to separate us, but in reality only hurting his friend further.
I felt his baton dig into my neck and what felt like a million volts of electricity surged through me. I keened high and loud as my body went limp, falling to the floor in an arch.
"Da-a-a-amn-it!" I stuttered as they continued to shock me.
Eventually they go tired and picked me up laughing condescendingly as i growled at them. They dragged me and apparently Peter, who'd been subjected to the same treatment as me, into a shower and made us strip down to our undergarments. before spraying us full force with disinfecting orange water. We kept our eyes to ourselves, too busy glaring at the guards to care what the other looked like.
Besides, I'm half Asgardian anyways. We aren't exactly known for our humility.
They gave us the standard yellow jumpsuit and marched us into the canteen area. As we walked into the open, the inmates began screeching and throwing things at our resident murderess.
"What's up with this?" Peter questioned me.
Rocket, the raccoon whose name i'd finally learned answered for me. "A lot of people have lost their friends and family to Ronan. She'll last a day tops."
I frowned.
We may not particularly like each other, but she is a female and there were lots of things that have happened to females in prisons less rough than this one.
I slowed down to walk next to her and she almost imperceptibly nodded to me in thanks.
Our odd group was stopped before we could make it to our cells by a large blue being that much resembled the Midgardian sharks.
"Check out the fresh meat," the idiot creature cooed evilly. He caressed the side of both mine and Peter's faces and we both grimaced in disgust. "I'm gonna slather you up in jelly."
I rolled my eyes.
And then Groot was there, two thin branches in the creatures nose, quite likely digging through it's skull with enough force to lift it off the ground a couple feet.
"Now let's make something clear!" Rocket shouted at the hushed inmates. "These two right here are ours!"
I frowned and went to argue, but Peter shushed me.
"You want to get to them, you'll have to go through us! Or more accurately; we go through you!"
Groot dropped the alien and the two partners walked towards the cells.
"Yeah I'm with them!" Peter yelled and followed.
I looked back at Gamora and gestured in front of me. Together we walked to our own cell in silence. Because of our rather violent pasts, they'd decided to just keep us in the same cell, which is just as well as the inmates followed there, calling rude things to Thanos' daughter. We entered our safe-haven and both flinched as one inmate smacked the glass.
"I do not need your help, nor your pity," she snarled at me and I snorted.
"I don't pity you. I am quite aware that you can take care of yourself usually, but here? You are hilariously outnumbered. They will come for you tonight you know." I told her calmly, hands behind my head as I leaned against the one bed.
She did not answer.
We sat in tense silence for after hours. When my internal clock hit about 12:00 by Midgard time, they came.
They opened up our cell and grabbed Gamora roughly.
"Her too!"
I was gripped by the elbows and steered out and down the corridor into the exercise room. Stupid goons. We were pressed side by side against a pillar and a knife was held up to the green girl's neck.
"Time to die Gamora, vengeance will be ours," the lumpy looking leader rasped at her and it took all of me not to laugh.
"How dare you."
All of us turned to look at the doorway and my eyes widened.
"Do you know who I am?" The muscled once-human man rumbled and our attackers seemed to curl into themselves.
"Drax the Destroyer," our lumpy friend whispered in fear.
Drax was once a Terran. His family was killed by Ronan. Gamora was in big trouble.
"Then you know why I am here," Drax stalked forward, taking the offered knife and approaching us.
Gamora must have known his story, or she was just desperate as she suddenly elbowed our captor in the face and kicked the other. As one went to stab her in the back, I rammed my fist into his face.
Then we both grunted as Drax trapped us against the pillar once more, his elbow in my clavicle, his new knife at Gamora's throat.
"Ronan killed my wife and daughter, now I will kill you," he drawled.
"Hey hey hey now."
Once again, we all looked over to the entrance, except this interruption was much better appreciated.
"Hey I know you're looking for some justice here, and I get that. But she is your closest bet on getting to Ronan. You let her go, and she can lead you to him so you can:" here he ran a finger over across his throat.
I just stared at him.
"Why would I want to run my finger across his throat?" Drax questioned and I sighed.
Peter looked stumped.
"It's it's just a saying. You know, like you're going to slice his neck. You know what i'm talking about right?" He pointed at the original leader who nodded, then shook his head no.
"I do not want to run my finger across his throat, i want to decapitate him." Drax continued and Peter sighed as well.
"Fine! I'm just saying, you can't do that if you kill her," he iterated.
We waited with quite literal bated breath for the Destroyer to make his decision.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Fine. But if this green witch does not lead me to Ronan, she will die." And with that, the big dope removed his arm, causing Gamora to cough and suck in air as I massaged my throat.
This little adventure is going to kill me, I just know it.
After such excitement, I slept soundly in our cell. Rocket apparently had a plan to get us out of this place and back to whatever they were doing beforehand.
We convened in to canteen the next morning.
Gamora, Rocket and I sat at a table and leaned in close.
"Alright so I'm going to need a few things for this to go well. We'll need the guards wrist device and that guy's leg." He pointed at a prisoner with a prosthetic leg. "And the last thing we'll need is that Quarnix. See that box? It's gonna set off an alarm as soon as we pull it out so we'll get that last."
As soon as he said that, a loud wailing noise went off and we turned to see Groot smiling at us with the Quarnix in hand, Drax next to him looking expectant.
"Guess we're doing this now," I chuckled and went into action, knocking down a guard as everyone split to do their jobs.
"Put down the battery and return to your cell," a guard shouted at Groot and the big lug just ignored him.
I ran to the guard and kicked him back from the Flora Colossus. The robots began shooting at Groot and I, making me run to find cover. I looked out from behind the overturned table and saw Drax throwing Rocket a gun. The raccoon and his partner made a deadly team, with Groot on the defensive and Rocket on offensive.
Once the pesky robots were mostly taken care of, Groot stretched up to the guard tower. I saw Peter making his way over at the same time as me. We reached Groot and he started pushing me up the plant's legs.
"I've got it! Quit shovin!" I yelled as I began to climb.
Rocket was getting the doors open when I reached the top so he handed me his gun so i could cover his back.
Gamora jumped over from another walkway, and we were soon joined by Peter and surprisingly, Drax.
As we walked into the tower, Groot grabbed the guard and threw him behind us.
Rocket immediately set to work on the rest of his plan.
"Why is this one here?" Gamora demanded angrily as she finally noticed Drax.
They glared at each other.
"I promised he could stay by her side until he kills her boss, and I always keep my promises when their too muscly whackjobs who will kill me if I don't," was my friend's reply.
All going to die.
Peter puts the prosthetic leg on the console, much to Rocket's amusement.
"Oh I was just kidding about the leg. I just needed these two," the raccoon admitted much to Peter's chagrin. " I thought it would be funny. What did he look like hopping around back there?"
He snickered to himself.
"I had to transfer him 30,000 units!"
I smiled and Rocket's laughter.
"Quit your yammering and release us from this earthly confinement!" Drax ordered, finally fed up with all of us.
"Yeah I'm going to have to agree with the talking thesaurus," my fellow half-Terran joked.
Drax slowly turned to look Peter in the eye and told him: "Do not ever call me a thesaurus."
End Chapter One.
Gotta get me some sleep. Sorry about any mistakes!
Tanner Out