When Love Was New Contest
Title of Entry: "Boiling Point"
Your pen name: Telrracs10
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"Okay, let's get started.
To this day, B still can't believe she was almost too late, that he could not be here at this moment. The thought of a life without him is almost unbelievable and incredibly pointless. To even consider the possibility is bizarre on many levels for her.
They always had something extra, a spice, a connection that grew deeper and stronger with every day; it was just hidden under emotions and actions and stubborn attitudes.
It took a lot longer then it should have to find out what was really going on between the two, what was really forming just underneath the surface and boiling up. They were extremely foolish to let it boil for so long because eventually a time came when it became too much and suddenly it overflowed and they both drowned in it.
B really should have known the first day they met though. The day that first sparked the ever growing fire that would eventually consume them."
..:*:..
Clung. Bop. Clung. Bop.
"Clung, bop. Clung, bop." I continued to chant as I threw the tennis ball against the metal garage door. That was what it sounded like at least. Clung. It hit the metal. Bop. It hit the ground. Then I caught it, sometimes. I couldn't reach it when it bounced too high. That's why I had put Emmett's soccer net behind me so it would catch the ball if I missed.
I stretched on my tippy toes to stop the ball that was coming at me. I got it, just barely, but I still felt the faint pain in my left leg. I winced and looked down at it. There was a big scrape on my knee and another small cut on my lower calf where the rock hit it. Blood started to well up.
I had fallen while pushing the soccer net in the driveway. It was one heavy piece of… Oops! I giggled. I wasn't supposed to say that word, or even think it, I think. I had heard Emmett say it about his bike that blew a tire yesterday. Mommy had yelled at him for using that word and told him not to say it around me. Though it had been funny to watch him kick and yell at the bike.
"Clung, bop. Clung, bop." I repeated, starting to move from side to side as if I were dancing to a song. I had seen some kids doing this against a wall near the park the other day. At first it looked boring, but after a while I learned that it could be quite fun to try and stop the ball. I remembered seeing one of the kids getting hit in the head with the ball on a wild bounce. That must have hurt, but I had laughed so hard I had almost fallen off the swing.
Clung, bop. Clung, bop. Clung, bop, bop, bop… Uh-oh. I turned around quickly as I watched the ball that had gotten past me start to roll out into the street. It had gone through a hole in the net.
"Stop!" I yelled, going around the net and started down my driveway. My knee still hurt really badly.
"Stop!" I repeated, even though I knew it was useless to yell at the ball. I tried to pick up speed as I watched it roll along the sidewalk and towards the sewer. I only got about five feet closer before it dropped through the side and down the drain.
I came to a stop right at the edge of the drain, my breathing a little labored and my lips quivering. That had been Emmett's ball. He wouldn't be happy that I'd lost it. I looked down into the rusted sewage pipe and continued to turn my head until I could see it sitting on a ledge that was sticking out of the side of the wall.
Maybe I could reach it. I started to bend down on my knees next to the metal holes but suddenly let out a cry of pain and fell back on my butt when my hurt leg hit the ground.
I pulled my leg closer to my body and bit my lip to keep from crying.
"Are you okay?" I heard a quiet voice ask, it startled me and my head snapped up towards the speaker. There on the other side of the drain stood a small boy, who looked no more then seven years old, in some shorts and a large jacket that had the word 'Bears' written across it. He was frowning and he stared down at me with concerned green eyes. The wind whipped around his longish hair that had different shades of red and gold and brown in it. When the wind stopped blowing his hair continued to stick out in all directions.
I giggled at him, but quickly pulled my hand over my mouth when I saw his brows pull together in annoyance.
"What's so funny? Are you hurt?" He repeated while stuffing his hands inside his jacket packets.
"You have weird hair," I answered truthfully, feeling my cheeks warm up. I smiled shyly at him because he was super cute when he was confused. His eyed widened in surprised and then narrowed at me.
"Well… Well you have weird eyes." Immediately after he said it a light pink spread across his cheeks and down his neck. I didn't know if it was from the cold, but he took his hands out of his pocket and blew into them, shifting his eyes away.
My smile fell and I blinked a few times. I had weird eyes? I looked down at the ground. They were just brown eyes.
"Hey, look, I'm sorry. Are you okay or do you need help or… something?" I looked back up at him warily. I was suddenly taken over by the warmth that seemed to spread through me. It wasn't much, kind of like how I felt when I take a big sip of Grandma Swan's hazelnut hot chocolate. It just seemed to make my insides feel warmer, but it was enough to make my throat go dry. I noticed he had really pretty eyes.
"I, um…I dropped my ball," I stuttered out. He raised an eyebrow at me.
"You dropped your ball? Where?" he asked, looking around him.
"Oh! Down the sewer." I looked down into it again. "It rolled in there because I couldn't catch it."
When I looked back up, he was looking into the sewer too. I took this time to really look at him. He had on white sneakers but they were really dirty and looked to be colored over with a black pen. One of his socks was pulled up just about mid-calf but the other circled around his ankle. He had a long red scar across his knee. His hands, which were now at his side, had words written all over them with a pen or maybe a maker.
I looked at his face and saw he had a dimple in his left cheek and noticed that his smile was crooked. It made my stomach all warm again. That's when I noticed he was looking down at me, smiling.
"I can get that for you." Before I could protest, he got down on his knees next to the drain and leaned over it. He stuck his right hand through one of the metal holes and it just seemed to fit. He reached down farther until his whole arm was through the hole, and I had the sudden urge to tell him to stop. I didn't want him to get stuck.
Then suddenly he yelled, "Got it!" and he slowly pulled his arm from the drain - without getting stuck, I might add - and came up with my ball.
He had a triumphant smile on his face that filled me with happiness. You'd think he'd just hit the winning run of a baseball game. I always wanted him to smile like that.
"Oh, thank you!" I didn't really think in that moment and I threw myself at him and let my arms encircle his waist. This caught him by surprise and we fell backwards with me on top of him.
"Ughhh, why did you do that", he croaked. He was lying on his back with his arms at his sides while my arms still encircled his waist and my legs were on either side of his. Our faces were just a few inches away from each other's.
I could feel my cheeks starting to heat up but I was lost for words. I stared into his face, his round cheeks, slightly freckled nose, and bright green eyes that were boring into mine. My weird eyes.
I quickly pulled back my head, took my hands from under his back, and looked off to the house across the street. I couldn't help but notice the warmth that still ran through me from being so close to his face.
"I… I'm sorry." I pushed my lips tightly together in embarrassment, still not looking at him. I rolled off of him and got to my feet. He pushed himself up with one hand and held out my ball with the other.
"Here." He continued to look at me with curious and frustrated eyes.
I reached out and took the ball from him. It was slightly wet and covered in dirt. I wrinkled my nose at it and held it with my thumb and index finger. "Uh, thank you."
I heard a chuckle and looked over at him to see him grinning again at me. I scowled, but I really liked it when he smiled. He lifted himself up and stood in front of me. He was about half a foot taller than me and a lot dirtier.
"Did that just happen now?" he asked, looking at my leg that was now starting to well up with blood again where the cut had been reopened. Strange, I thought, I didn't even feel it.
"Ah, no. That was from earlier when I fell." He stared silently and then crouched down to examine it.
"Does it hurt?" Now that I thought about it, it did sting a little.
"A bit." I turned my head to look at my house. "But I can just go home and-"
I suddenly felt something fall on my shoulders and turned to see that he had put his jacket around my shoulders and over my t-shirt.
"You must be cold." He grabbed my hand. "Come to my house. My dad's a doctor; he can look at that for you." He pulled me down the street away from my house. I noticed that he was wearing a plain gray shirt and that he had writing all along his arms.
I suddenly stopped short and refused to walk once I remembered I didn't even know this kid's name. When he saw that I wasn't moving anymore, he looked back at me, his brows knit together.
"What's wrong?"
"I don't know you. I can't just go to your house." I said, pulling the jacket closer to me; it smelled like cookies and dirt.
"Oh, well, my name's Edward," he said while running a hand through his hair, making it stick out in all new directions. I suppressed a smile.
"Okay, I'm Isabella… but don't call me that. Call me Bella." He smiled at me and, again, took my hand.
"Well, Bella, now we know each other and don't worry, I live just down the street. My mom can call your house." He started to pull me down the road again.
We continued to walk and he still had my hand in his; the skin seemed to tingle where he touched it. I looked down at his arm and started laughing.
"Who wrote 'Loser' all over your arm?" I giggled. It was written in all sizes across his skin in black marker ink.
He looked down and scowled. "My friend Alice wrote all over my arm while I was sleeping because I called her a loser while we played a video game," he mumbled, looking straight ahead again. I continued to laugh silently.
"And it's even worse because it's sharpie." I started to laugh a little harder, and from the corner of my eye, I could see him grinning.
As we continued to walk a little more down the street, we finally came to a halt in front of the B.W.O.S. House. Or, as Emmett liked to call it, Big Waste of Space. It was an abnormally large house for the area with lots of windows and delicate designs molded into the front.
So when I saw Edward starting to make his way across the finely cut lawn, I was momentarily shocked.
"This is your house?" I asked, not hiding the surprise in my voice. He seemed to like my reaction and smirked.
"Yeah, now come on. I don't want that cut to get infected," he said seriously, starting to pull me towards the exquisitely carved wooden door. When we got to the door, he pushed the handle and we walked into a brightly lit room with a very high ceiling. I was met with a grand staircase an extremely large chandelier, a golden throw rug under my feet and the sweet, savory smell of homemade chocolate chip cookies that put Grandma Swan's apple pie to shame. My mouth started to water.
"Wow, this isn't a waste of space after all." I thought out loud.
"Excuse me?" Edward asked, looking inquisitively at me.
I blushed and laughed nervously. "Ah, nothing."
"Okay," he said warily, "now come on. My dad should be in his study."
He, once again, grabbed my arm and I was bewildered by his concern.
"Edward, why do you care?" I asked as we stopped just on the outside of a set of tall wooden doors.
He turned and stared at me face blankly, but his eyes continued to move across my face. Finally, he looked me straight in the face so we were both staring at each other and said the last thing I expected him to.
"Because you have weird eyes."
..:*:..
"Could you really blame her for not knowing? She was only six and B had never come across anything like that before.
E was no better. Both were oblivious to the spark that was set off that day. Both were too naive to notice the water was starting to form bubbles on the surface. It really is remarkable that something so incredibly life changing can occur right before your very eyes and you have no knowledge of it. I'm pretty sure they both beat themselves up over not detecting the connection earlier. It would have saved many years of hiding behind their emotions.
But even though they were young then, that shouldn't give them the excuse to have not become aware of the bundle of feelings growing between the two at an older age."
..:*:..
"How could you date that whore!" I hissed at him as we sat across from each other in the library. We were trying to study for a history test when he dropped this load of shit on me.
Apparently Tanya Denali had asked him to go out over the weekend and now they were "dating." I knew Tanya and she was just going to screw him over and then brag about how he was in the girl's locker room while every other girl clung to every frickin' word that she said. But not me, no, I refused to listen to her. She noticed too. She had threatened that she would have something to talk about that would get my attention. Well, lucky her, she had it.
But someone will have to strip me nude, paint me purple, and tie me to the school flag pole before I let Edward get wrapped up into her game of screw and toss. I can't let that happen to Edward; the guy who opened my car door and paid for my lunch too fucking much and had been there to help me when ever I'd been hurt for the past eleven years of my life.
I wouldn't allow it. She was just a disease that would infect him. She knew Edward was one of my weaknesses. Edward deserved more than that, he deserved so much better than anyone here, he deserved…
"She's not a whore," he answered in a stony voice, not looking up from his textbook. That broke me out of my thoughts and it made my heart squeeze. I hated when he used that voice. It was so cold, distant, not Edward.
"The hell she's not! Have you not heard of her reputation with other guys? I'm more than sure that you've heard them talk all sorts of shit about her and how she-"
"And that's all it is, shit!" He yelled finally looking up at me with cold, frustrated eyes. He looked around him and lowered his voice. "She told me about all that. How the guys just say that she dumps them so she looks bad, but it's really the guys that just use her before they go onto the next girl they find. She's a victim."
I stared at him for a long moment. I was pretty sure my jaw dropped a little while I processed his words. She's a victim.
I knew Edward, hell did I know Edward. I knew he'd slept with a stuffed bear until he was nine. He had a weird fear of clowns, don't ask. And he loved to make breakfast for his mother. He could make some killer pancakes!
But if there was something that everyone knew about Edward, it was that he was a sucker for helpless people. He was the kind-hearted, understanding fantasy guy you'd dream would come and help you in your time of need and sweep you off your feet. Add a rocking body to that and you get the perfect package of goodness, Edward.
So now this bitch had fed him lies. Used his own weakness to help people against him and he was falling for it. Not that I could completely blame him – I blamed her – if some strange girl were to tell him her boyfriend was cheating on her he'd go fuck that guy up. That's just the type of person he was, and now… now what I used to think was his best quality had turned into some girl's twisted tool to lure him in and use his good nature and open heart and completely fuck it up.
"That is the biggest load of shit I have ever heard, Edward! She's using you! She just said the right words to get you to think she's some helpless girl who needs your help, and you fell for it. It's not too late to get out of this. Don't get caught up in her lies!" I was standing with my hand against the desk, leaning towards him, talking in a yell-whisper so I wouldn't attract attention. The library was not the best place to have this conversation.
He suddenly stood too, taking the same position as me, our faces only about half a foot apart. His eyes were colder then I'd ever seen them before, like shards of emerald trying to cut into me, his angular jaw tensed, looking so much different than the round-cheeked seven year old boy I first met, but I refused to look away from him. I needed him to understand that this could be a horrible mistake.
"So are you calling me gullible? That I should just continue to let her be used by other men? That she's lying to me and that I shouldn't believe that she's continuously getting hurt by men that treat her disrespectfully?" His voice was like blades of ice that could cut through steel. You would think I would feel cold and empty inside but the normal warmth that seemed to course through me every time I was around him just increased with how close he was to me.
Then I thought about him and Tanya and her in his arms while he tried to comfort her for her lies and that was when the cold hatred ran through my veins.
"Yes." As soon as I'd said the word, I knew I shouldn't have. He jerked back as if I had hit him. I might as well have because the shocked look on his face would have probably looked no different.
"What kind of person do you take me for? To leave someone who told me their deepest thoughts and secrets so powerless? I thought you knew me better than that Bella, but I guess not." He started to pack his things, not looking at me.
I had my hand half out stretched towards him. A silent plea to stop, not to go. What was this feeling? I could feel tears starting to well up in my eyes. Could he really think I didn't know him?
My chest felt completely empty from his words and I seriously felt that if someone didn't tape me up now I would fall to pieces.
I watched as he turned to go, still not looking at me once and I knew I had to try one more time; if not for Edward, for me.
I quickly pushed my chair aside and it fell over with a dull 'thump' on the ground, but I barely registered it. All I was focused on was Edward's retreating figure.
"Please," my voice creaked, "stop." I hadn't meant for it to come out as a sob, but the tears fell anyway and I hated myself for it. I hated showing how weak I could be and how my emotion could take over so quickly, even though I didn't exactly know what they were. But I showed my feelings to Edward, only him.
I grabbed a hold of his sleeve and he stopped and looked over his shoulder, face impassive, until he saw me. Then it faltered and his concern seeped through his anger and showed on his face. He turned to stand in front of me and put his hands on my shoulder, franticly looking over my face.
"Bella? Bells, why are you crying?"
My hands gripped his arms. 'You can't- You can't let her… use you," I whispered desperately. "You can't."
His arms dropped to his side, but I kept my hands on his to keep him from going, I wouldn't let him.
"Why do you even care, Bella?" He demanded, boring his eyes into mine, as if he were reading my soul. He always seemed to see right through me.
That question. One that I had asked so many years ago and his answer was still a confusion to me. So why did I care? It was Edward's life, he should be able to live how he wanted. I didn't really have a say in what he did or didn't do. Then why did it hurt to think of him in the arms of another woman, more importantly Tanya's.
It was not like he'd never had a girlfriend before and, sure I'd never liked them because in my eyes no one was good enough for Edward. There were probably so many girls better for him out there than the ones he'd gone out with in the past. I wanted to believe that was the reason why; I needed that to be the reason why, for Edward's well-being. Other than that, I had no fucking clue.
I felt my hands go limp at my side and I started to shake my head slowly back and forth.
"I don't know. I just… I don't know." I needed to get out of there. Away from these emotions, away from this situation.
I quickly took off without a second thought, running past rows of bookshelves and out the door. I could hear Edward calling my name behind me, but I didn't stop. I needed to get out.
I was running past students and teachers, all their heads turned towards me as I ran down the halls, but I didn't see their faces. They all just kind of blurred together.
Have you ever watched one of those movies where someone was running and then suddenly it goes into slow motion and they looked over there shoulder at someone or shit? Well, that crap never happens in real life but what happened was as close as it was going to get.
I was still running through the halls, turning corners, trying to get to the door when suddenly in my peripheral vision, I caught a glimpse of unmistakable bright blonde hair and I stopped. I slowly turned and stared at her back, the woman that started this all, boring holes into her head.
As if I'd called her, she glanced over her shoulder, smirked, and turned to face me.
"Well, if it isn't Edward Cullen's best friend Bella Swan. How's it going? You don't look so good. You doing okay there?" she taunted me. In that moment, I hated her even more if that was possible.
I walked towards her, my face stoic, and got into her personal space. Then I glared at her with my coldest stare.
"How dare you use him like this! You have to be one of the lowest scums out there to use someone's concern for others to get what you want, you twisted bitch."
She looked me over with lazy eyes and I had to fight back my urge to snap her. "Well, I must be higher than you on this scum chart because it looks like Edward wants to be with me in a way he never wanted to be with you."
I had to hit something, anything. I slammed my fist into the side of the lockers. It hurt like fuck but I felt a little better. I also saw that I had made a small indentation in the metal. The hall had fallen suddenly quiet.
I turned back to her as she stared back, unimpressed. "He only wants to be around you to help your worthless ass because of the lies you've been telling him. I don't believe you for one second, and if you hurt him, I swear to God next time it won't be the locker I'm hitting." I all but hissed at her. I quickly turned on my heels and made my way to the front doors.
"Are you okay?" I heard someone ask, probably to Tanya.
"Yeah, fine. Perfect actually, she's just pissed that her boy toy has a new playmate," she said loud enough to make sure I heard her. Holy firecrackers, did I want to take a brick right to her face.
…
It had been a whole week since I'd seen Edward. That had to be a record, not counting the two weeks he spent in Chicago every Christmas, and at least then we talked on the phone. But we'd made no contact for the past eight days, and I was freaking the shit out.
I knew he was going to school because everyday I saw his Volvo sitting in the parking lot, but he hadn't been to a history class at all. Nothing; I was just assuming he was skipping, but I knew he was avoiding me and it was tearing me up inside. I wanted to see his smile, his eyes, and his hair, just him. The world seemed a little darker and colder without my fire to warm me up.
Especially on nights like these. Charlie and Mom went away for the weekend, Emmett was at a friend's house, and I was in the house alone. Have you ever wanted something to be quiet, and it always seems too loud? Well, you never really realize how quiet it is when you want there to be sound. All I heard was the echo of raindrops hitting the roof. It had been raining for most of the week. It kind of reminded me of my mood.
I pulled my blanket up to my chin and dug my nails into my palm. You'd think I'd been trying to cut myself with all the marks my nails are leaving, just about drawing blood. But it's either that or I'd bitten my lip off by now. I just wanted to scream.
What was going on with me? These feelings threatened to take me apart piece by piece until I was baring nothing but my soul… and I was so terrified to find what was really hidden underneath all those messed up emotions and hormones and shit. I just wanted a release.
Bang, Bang, Bang. I jumped and shrieked, quickly pulling my covers over my head. I realized someone was hitting the window and I considered ignoring it but if it were him…
'Bang, Bang.' Pause. 'Bang.' Pause. 'Bang, Bang.' I gasped and threw the covers off of me, swinging my legs over the side of my bed. That was the code. I knew it was weird, but we made up a code to tap in case of emergencies. Help me. Please. Help me.
He needed me.
I jumped out of bed and ran for my window. I pulled up the blinds and saw his figure standing outside. I quickly unlocked it and shoved the glass up. What I found on the other side wasn't my Edward.
The person in front of me was soaked to the bone in a pair dark jeans and an over size Cubs sweatshirt, bare feet. There were purple bags under his eyes and they were ringed with red, cheeks hollowed. His hair was plastered to the sides of his face and with the grimace he wore you'd think he hadn't smiled a day in his life.
No, definitely not my Edward.
My hand flew over my mouth and I felt my eyes widen. What had happened to him?
"Oh, my… Edward?" I stared stunned. How could he change so much in such a short time. Then I had the answer and it was blonde, skanky, and totally died: Tanya.
He swallowed heavily and nodded his head. "Look, Bella, I can understand if you don't want me to be here. I just came to-"
I reached out the window and took a handful of his sweatshirt. "Get your wet ass in here."
He pulled his head through the window and then swung a leg over the sill and then the other until he was standing before me looking wet, withered, and dejected. It felt like someone had reached inside me and twisted my heart. Little nettles pocked at my chest and every breath made my ribs hurt. I felt tears coming to my eyes.
"Holy shit, Edward," I reached out to take his hand, needing to see some life in him. It was limp and cold, like the rest of him. "What happened to you?"
I looked into his eyes, even though they scared me; his once bright green eyes were now a dull greenish-gray and he seemed to have shadows all around him. Someone had broken him.
"Bella, you were right. I should have listened. I'm so sorry." If possible, his hand went even limper in mine. His voice was hollow and filled with so much defeat and humiliation, his eyes burning with so much pain I could feel it. Rip; there went another piece of me.
"Edward, it's okay. I'm here to help you, okay? No matter what, I'm here. God, you're freezing; we need to warm you up." An idea popped into my head that both terrified me and sent an unexpected thrill through my body. But once I looked at his face again I knew I'd do it, only for him.
"Come on, take this off," I mumbled and pulled at the end of his sweatshirt. All he did was raise an eyebrow at me and then lift his arms above his head. I pulled the hem up but he was about a foot taller than me so he bent down a little so I could lift it over his head. I tossed it to the floor.
I felt my breathing pick up in the slightest as I looked over his bare chest, sculpted from working out. I had a sudden urge to run my fingers along his chest, but this was so not the time to be thinking about these things. I pushed all those thoughts aside and focused on what was important here, Edward.
Without looking at him, my hands went to his jeans and I undid the button and pulled down the zipper. I felt him tense up.
"Bella?" The hollowness was still there, but there was also caution.
"Be quiet, okay?" I didn't wait for a response as I pulled down his pants – which was a little challenging because they were all but plastered to his legs – to his feet and stayed there until he finally moved his feet out of the legs. Hmmm, boxer-briefs; he never would answer me when I asked.
I picked those up and threw them to the side along with the sweatshirt. I stood and turned around, taking a deep breath. My turn.
My hands went to the hem of my shirt and I swiftly lifted it over my head and threw it over with the rest of his clothes.
"Bella?" His voice had more urgency in it, still slightly hollowed, but it was a start.
"I said be quiet." As quickly as I could, I took my sweatpants off and kicked all the clothes in the corner of the room; I was only in my panties and bra. I turned to face Edward who was staring at the ground really hard. I could see he was still pale and dark, not much life showing, but the slightest bit of pink colored his cheeks. I grinned, this was working.
I walked towards him, trying my hardest not to look any lower then his abs. It was harder than it seemed; he was beautiful. I mean, for a guy.
I took his hand and pulled him toward my door but he didn't move, eyes still fixed promptly on the ground.
"Bella, I don't-" I quickly covered his mouth until he looked me in the eyes.
"What did I tell you about being fucking quiet, okay?" He just stared back at me with his slightly wider, dead eyes. I sighed a little shakily and started to lead him to the door again. I needed to fix him. This time he followed.
We entered the hall and walked to the bathroom door. I pushed it open, and Edward followed silently behind. I flicked the light on and went straight for the shower, turning on the hot water until I could start to see steam filled the air.
I turned back to Edward who was concentrating extraordinarily hard on a crack in the wall.
"Bella, I really think-"
"Shut up! It doesn't really matter what you think because your mind's fucked up right now." He had no response.
I took a step towards him but then stopped as a thought hit me. What if he didn't really want to go in with me? Did he not like what he saw?
"Ummm, Edward, if you don't- I mean if I look- Or you don't like…" I trailed off, not knowing how to frame the question. My arms encircled my stomach in embarrassment. I couldn't believe I just assumed he wouldn't mind getting in the shower with me. I felt like such an idiot…
"Bella, don't. You look, um… You're beautiful." I looked back at him to find he was now staring at the ceiling and a smile creped across my face when I saw he now had a healthy pink flush across his face and neck. I saw him scrunch up his nose as if he wanted to hit himself for saying it. I wanted to chuckle but knew it would just bring more stress to the moment.
"Okay, stop your flattering and get in the shower. Your toes will fall off, you're so cold." I saw the corners of his mouth twitch, my heart fluttered to life, and a piece of me was put back together. It was working.
He started walking to the shower, staring straight ahead, pushed the curtain aside and walked in. Then a moment later he held part of it open for me to walk in, of course, staring at the tile. Always the gentleman.
I walked in, he dropped the curtain, and a tension filled the air as we stood there under the warm water and steam filled air. I could see the rest of his body's color coming back and he was a little bit more relaxed. I could also hear that his breathing was a little heavier than normal, his eyes slightly hooded as he watched the water fall down the side of the wall. I couldn't deny that he looked hot as hell dripping in water. But this was still a little… awkward.
"Okay, lets get those beautiful reddish golden locks of yours clean. What did you do? Rub dirt in it?" I teased as I grabbed for Emmett's Axe shampoo.
When I looked back at him, he was looking at me with that crooked grin that made my insides warm, and his eyes seemed to be getting their bright green color back.
"You once said that my hair was weird. Now it's beautiful?" he asked, some life back in his voice. I was pretty sure I blushed but I was hot all over and couldn't really tell.
"Yeah well…" I concentrated on squeezing some shampoo into my hands and rubbed them together. "When I said that I was six and that's what I thought at the time. Actually, I think I thought it was pretty back then, but, God, I was six," I rolled my eyes. "I wasn't going to say 'You have pretty hair.' weird was the second thing to pop into my mind. I mean, it's like, what? Thirty different colors and sticks out in all directions and… now I'm ranting and being stupid." I ended as I reached up to run my hand through his hair, massaging the shampoo into his scalp.
He closed his eyes and leaned closer towards me. "I don't think it's stupid. I like that you don't think my hair is weird," he murmured.
I chuckled. "Oh, I think it's weird, but now it's pretty too." I saw a small grin spread across his face and did my own victory dance in my head. His hair was so smooth like this; I just wanted to run my hands through it all day.
Suddenly a low groan escaped his mouth and my hands froze in his hair. His fingers brushed lightly against my waist and my skin tingled. That sound and touch affected me more than I liked or did like or…
I felt Edward pull his head away and push his head under the water to rinse off. I was grateful for the distraction and turned to grab my shampoo, but once I flipped the cap open, Edward stole it from my hand and squeezed some into his.
"Hey, you already washed your hair," I pouted.
He just shook his head and twirled his finger around, signaling me to turn. I did so and his hands were in my hair, and… I'd never felt so good in my life. The way his skilled pianist fingers moved across my scalp made me want to throw my head back and moan, but once again I knew this wasn't the time or place or… person?
So I just closed my eyes and let my thoughts take over. How did I feel for Edward? He was definitely my best friend next to Rosalie, Emmett's girlfriend, who was about two years older than me. But was there more? I'd never really thought about it or… wanted to think about it. My friendship with Edward was one of the most important things in my life. Sure, I always feel warm and safe around him. He had a kind heart, wonderful smile, and sarcastic remarks that would render me speechless. What was not to like?
I felt his hands on my shoulders and the skin on skin contact sent a wild frenzy of warmth and thrill through my body. Water hit my face and I was broken out of my trance. I finished washing my hair while Edward used the soap. When he was done, he handed it to me, and with every small touch, it felt like a fire was building inside me.
I lathered up with soap and when I was done rinsing off, I thought I caught him staring at my breast but couldn't tell. His eyes moved too fast.
I reached down to turn off the water. The air was still thick with steam. "I'll go get you some of Emmett's sweats and a shirt, okay?" I asked, stepping out of the shower.
"That's fine."
I went to Emmett's room, which smelled like old pizza and gym socks, and grabbed some gray sweats and a navy T-shirt with 'Seahawks' written across it.
I went in my room and changed and then went back to the bathroom. "Here you go." I stuck the clothes through the door until he grabbed them. I waited outside until he came out.
When he opened the door, a load of steam came out too and a halo of light encircled him.
"Really Bella? Seahawks? Don't have any Bears shirts around here?" he teased, smiling softly at me, and I just wanted to sing to the heavens that I was able to make him better, but we still had some talking to do.
"No, but if there were, Emmett would have them burned." I giggled and walked to my room, and he followed.
Once I closed the door behind me, the tension started to build again.
"Um, would it be okay it I bunk here tonight? My parents don't expect me home till morning." he asked, rubbing the back of his neck. He almost looked like the old Edward, my Edward, except for the deep pain hidden in his eyes, and purple bags that made him look a lot older than he was. He probably hadn't slept in days.
"Yeah, that's fine. Everyone's away tonight." I went and sat on my bed, crossed-legged. "But Edward, we need to talk now." I looked over him and a shadow crossed his face. No, I didn't want that coming back.
"Come, sit down." I patted the spot next to me. He hesitated for a moment before moving and sitting beside me, copying my position, so our knees were touching.
"Edward, what happened to you?" I asked softly. He hung his head in shame and hunched his shoulders.
I moved quickly so I was sitting next to him and wrapped my arms around his waist while he put his arm around my shoulder and his head in my hair.
He was silent for a moment before it all came out. "You were right. About all of it, the lying, the reputation," his voice creaked, "the using. I was so foolish, Bella. I should have listened to you. She gave me some pills, they made me feel numb; I didn't give a fuck what I was doing. Then… it's blurry… but we…"He just stopped speaking all together, but my heart was already aching and the pieces were starting to tear off again.
I wondered if Tanya had any idea what she'd done to him. I wasn't sure, but I sure as hell knew we'd have a long talk on Monday, or screaming and a good face slap.
I could see how hard this was for him. I didn't want to push him any further. He'd obviously been hurting for a while now. I didn't want to bring the pain back. Hopefully he learned his lesson. I didn't know if I could keep going without his friendship.
"Edward, you can stop. It's okay. Come on, lie down." I pushed him against my bed, keeping my arm protectively wrapped around him. I needed to protect him. He had helped me so much through the years, he needed this. I needed this. We needed this.
"I can go sleep on the couch," he whispered and started to get up, but my arms refused to let him go, my hands balled fists in the back of his shirt. He lay back down on one of my pillows while I settled my head on his chest.
"I don't deserve a friend like you. You're too wonderful, Bella. I don't- I have no idea what I'd do without you." He whispered in a croaked voice and buried his face in my hair, holding me tightly around the waist as if he expected me to disappear. I just closed my eyes, enjoying the sensation of Edward.
You're right, I thought, you don't deserve a friend like me. You deserve more Edward, so much more.
I felt serene lying there with him, content. We were wrapped in a blanket of peaceful air which we both breathed in greedily. That was why we needed each other; no one else could help me like Edward could. Happy wasn't the word to describe what I was feeling; it ran much deeper, but I was suddenly hit with a wave of exhaustion and didn't have the patience or consciousness to think more into it.
And as I drifted to sleep, I couldn't help but notice how we'd been in a similar position on the first day that we had met when I'd knocked him on his back.
Back when he was the boy with rounded cheeks and arms covered in marker, I was the girl with the scrapped knee and the weird eyes, and all we needed to worry about was stopping my ball from going down in the sewer.
..:*:..
"This was very stupid of them.
Still, they had yet to find out what this bubbling connection between the two of them was. Both almost adult, yet still too young to put a name to the bond that was shared between the two.
You'd think by now that they would have at least realized they had stronger feelings for each other than friendship, but no. Both B and E were too fixed on keeping their friendship alive to focus on leading it elsewhere, unlike what some other people did…"
..:*:..
I couldn't believe it; Emmett was getting married.
I looked at myself in the mirror as I turned from side to side examining my bridesmaid's dress. It was quite beautiful; Rose had some great taste. It was a flushed pink color dress that dropped just below my knees, strapless with an amazing beading design on the front.
To think it had already been a year since their baby was born. Now Emmett was getting married with a child at the ripe age of twenty-six, Rose, a mother and soon-to-be-wife at twenty-three, and little Tristan a year and two months.
I was the maid of honor and aunt at age twenty-one, and Edward… well, he's the best man at age twenty-two. Where had the time gone?
I heard the door open and Emmett walked in, in all his suit clad glory. It brought tears to my eyes. My big brother's not the nine year old boy that would chase after the ice cream truck for a block anymore.
"Oh, my! Is that my baby sister over there? No, it can't be. What I see in front of me is a beautiful young woman getting ready for her big brother's wedding." I laughed; he could always make me feel better.
"Oh, and who might you be? You can't possibly be my big brother. The one that used to tell me red crayons tasted like cherries. No, this is a handsome young man getting ready for the biggest day of his life!"
"Ah, Bells!" He walked over and gave me a big Emmett size hug, just the way I liked them. "I knew I let mom and dad keep you around for some reason." He ruffled my hair.
"Hey, that took two hours, an extremely hot curling iron, and an entire bottle of hairstray." I chuckled, and swatted his hand away. I fixed it in the mirror.
When I turned to look back at him, I smiled. "So this is it. Emmett Swan is officially off the market. Bring out the tissues, ladies."
He smiled down at me, but then sobered up. "I've been off the market ever since I laid eyes on her, Bells. She's the one; I know it in my heart and soul. I will love her forever. I just wanted to tell you this because I'm not going to be so carefree now. I'll still be Emmett, but… with responsibilities. I want to make sure she and Tristan are safe and well fed and have a roof above their heads."
My smile grew impossibly big. This was definitely not the little trouble-making Emmett I grew up with, but he was growing up. I loved him for that and his commitment to Rose.
"She's one lucky girl. You're everything she deserves and vice-versa. I'm so happy for you, Emmy." I felt the tears coming. "Oh, great, now look what you've done." I laughed and I ran my finger under my eyes.
"Also, Bells I'm… thinking about going back to school. Well, night courses at least. Rose will be staying home for the next year and I don't think my job at the garage can cut it. What do you think?" he asked hesitantly.
I launched myself at him and wrapped my arms around him as best as I could. "Emmett, that is a brilliant idea!" Emmett had dropped out from the University of Washington when they had found out Rose was pregnant. He was there on a football scholarship with big dreams to become a member of the Seattle Seahawks. He really must have loved Rose to give that up. "What classes were you thinking of taking?"
"Well, funny story. I found out that I'm pretty good with numbers after handling all the bills. So I was thinking… mathematics courses?"
I looked up at his face which was completely serious. Emmett was never one for math growing up. Who knew he'd end up majoring in it?
"Perfect. Emmett you'll do great at whatever you do." I said, squeezing him again and then pulling away.
"Thanks Bells." He looked at his watch. "Well, I got to go. You know, got a wedding to attend. Really can't miss it." He smiled.
"Yeah, Rose would have your head." I laughed. He laughed too.
"And then some. Love ya, Bells." He gave me a kiss on the cheek and ran out of the room. Into his new world.
And I was so happy for him that I wanted to just scream for joy. But for some reason I couldn't make this dull ache go away in my chest whenever I thought about him and Rose together, with their child, starting their new life of love and happiness.
…
"Guess who," a smooth velvet voice asked. One that I couldn't mistake in a crowd of thousands. His hands were placed over my eyes and breath was on my neck. The all too familiar warmth filled me.
I couldn't help but notice that with each year that pasted a little more of me became warmer with Edward near. At first it had only been my stomach with a slightest bit of heat circling inside me but now it spread up to my neck and just down to my knees, making it harder to stand when my legs felt like jell-o.
"Hmmm, Orlando Bloom?" I asked innocently and giggled when he dropped his hands. I turned to find him pouting at me. It looked absolutely adorable.
I grinned and pinched his cheek while cooing at him. He narrowed his eyes and playfully swatted my hand away.
"I'm way better than, Or-lame-o." He rolled his eyes, grinning.
"How mature of you, name calling." But I laughed anyway.
"Whatever, so are you ready to give your speech?" he asked, taking a piece of my hair between his fingers and twisting it around.
I smiled. "Yep. Got it all right here." I nodded down to my purse that held my maid of honor speech. "What about yours? Where is it?"
He took his finger from my hair and tapped the side of his temple. "It's all up here, my friend. Unlike you, I have the best strategy for this." he said matter-a-factly.
"Oh, and please enlighten me with this strategy of yours."
"Well, with my higher mind skills, I will piece together the memories of the past and enlighten everyone of what awaits in the future, add in a little of my charm and I'll have them on the verge of tears." He gave me a cheesy smile and winked.
I raised an eyebrow at him. "So in other words, you're winging it?" I snickered. He gave himself too much credit sometimes.
"Well," he gazed over at the altar then back to me, "'winging it' sounds so unprepared. I like to use the term 'improvising.'"
I rolled my eyes. "Okay, sure, call it whatever you want. Can't wait to hear it," I snorted.
Edward opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by an all too familiar, yet much missed voice.
"Is this really my small town girl from Forks, Washington?" I turned sharply to see the one, the only Jasper standing behind me.
"Why, is this my country man from Houston?" I smiled broadly and ran into his arms. "Long time no see, stranger. Where have you been hiding?"
"Oh, you know, here, there, a little bit of everywhere." He smiled, taking a step back. "But once I heard big Em was settling down, I couldn't miss that."
I looked Jasper over. He looked very different from the last time I saw him, which had been at age sixteen. He had grown into his body well and had his father's good looks.
"I'm sorry to interrupt, but could a city boy from Chicago join in here?" Edward scolded me. "How rude, Bella. Not introducing me to your guest." He stuck out his hand to Jasper. "I'm Edward Cullen."
Jasper smiled smugly and took his hand. "Oh, I know who you are, but it's been a while since we last saw each other. I'm Jasper Whitlock."
Edward's eyes widened. "Lanky Boy Whitlock?" He asked, shocked.
I hit him in the arm, hard. "Ow! What was that for?" he complained, narrowing his eyes at me.
"Don't call him that!" I hissed. Edward and Jasper had indeed met before. Jasper was a family friend, and about six years ago, Jasper had come up to spend a week in Forks with us. Back then he had been super tall for his age, and looked as skinny as a twig. So Edward declared him as, after meeting him, Lanky Boy Whitlock. The rest was history.
I glanced apologetically at Jasper, but he just snickered at Edward's comment and looked back and forth between the two of us.
I glared back at Edward who was rubbing his arm. Good, I hope it hurts.
"Oh, come on, Bella." I continued to glare. He rolled his eyes and sighed, "Sorry, Jasper."
He smiled and shrugged, but just continued to watch the exchange between us. A thoughtful look in his eyes.
"So I'm forgiven." It wasn't a question.
"Why would you just assume that?" I replied. He turned to look at me with a mischievous smile.
"Because I'm always forgiven," he answered as if it were obvious, slinging his arm around my shoulder, which was bare. The cool fabric of his tux brushed against my skin, and a shudder ran through me. It felt as if sunlight was seeping through my veins.
I looked away from him, trying to keep the scowl on my face, not the smile that threatened to surface. He was right; he was always forgiven.
Jasper had been quiet throughout this whole conversation, but what irritated me was that he had that stupid smirk on his face that so obviously said 'I know something you don't.'
"Like to share something, Jasper?"
He looked over me thoughtfully and then Edward. "Hey, Edward, do you mind if I talk to Bella alone for a moment?" he asked casually. What was he up to?
Edward hesitated, his arm actually tightening slightly around my shoulders. I normally felt different around Edward than anyone else, but in this position my heart swelled with his closeness and picked up speed.
He just had this effect on me where I was in no control of my body's reaction. Though it mostly brought happiness, there had always been something a little deeper.
Edward looked down at me, eyebrow raised, silently asking my okay. I shrugged and nodded my head. He continued to look down at me, jaw tense, and then finally let his arm drop from my shoulders.
"Yeah ,that's fine. I wanted to go talk to Carlisle anyway," he said to Jasper. "I'll see you later." He turned to me and I nodded, smiling. That's when I saw it. I'd just started to notice it a few months ago, but he got this gleam in his eye that I could never make out. Kind of like his behavior at that moment.
"Yeah, see ya." He nodded and then crossed the back of the church and through the doors.
I turned back to Jasper. "What's up?"
He shrugged. "Nothing much, so how's it been going here? It's been a while." I looked at him suspiciously; he had to have more to ask than that. He was up to something.
"Yeah, well, if you came up more, maybe you'd know what was going on, but it's fine here. Still same old Forks." At that moment I could hear cars starting to drive up to the church parking lot.
He nodded and 'Hmmm'ed. This boy better spit it out.
"What do you have to say, Jasper?"
He raised an eyebrow at me and grinned. "Oh, nothing. I can't just ask some simple questions about my friends? God, Bella," he rolled his eyes. "So, how have you been doing? Are you working? Are you, like, seeing anyone?"
I looked into his eyes while I thought over the questions. Especially the last one.
"I'm doing pretty good, been working at a publishing company," I answered slowly. "And, no, I'm not seeing anyone at the moment."
He frowned. "Really? You and Edward aren't seeing each other or something?"
I froze, unprepared for the question. Why would he even ask something like that? Me and Edward? Me and Edward…
"No, we're just friends. He's my best friend." I said though, even to my ear, my voice was a little hesitant.
He chuckled and I could not see anything funny with this conversation. Then he sighed. "Just friends, okay." He checked his watch. "Sorry Bells. I have to go meet my parents in the back. I want to go see Emmett before this starts."
I blinked at him. "Yeah okay." He leaned forward and kissed my check and headed for the door. I was slightly confused and a bit clueless. What was Jasper's purpose behind his question? I hadn't seen him in six years and he asked that of all things? Maybe, I was paranoid but I needed to know.
"Wait, Jasper," I called after him and he looked over his shoulder at me, halfway through the door. "I'm just wondering why you asked me that question. About me and Edward."
He smiled sadly at me. "Hopefully you'll find out." And then he was gone. Leaving me even more confused then before.
…
"Oh my, God. I can't do this! I feel sick. I'm going to throw up! I can't do that, not in this dress. Shit! Someone drug me please, just so I can get through this," Rosalie panted as she paced across the room with her arms around her stomach. The wedding was starting in about ten minutes and all the braidmaids and Rose's mother were watching as she had her before-wedding-jitters.
"If we drug you, the honeymoon sex won't be nearly as good," Jessica answered while lazily examined her nails. We ignored her.
Rose looked stunning in her strapless wedding dress, looking more beautiful than I'd ever seen her before. I'd known Rose for a while now and knew she was not one to normally get this nervous. She was strong, determined, and loving. I could see exactly why Emmett fell for her.
"Rose, sweetie, just calm down now. Deep breaths, you just got to relax." Her mother tried to calm her.
In that moment, Rose's father poked his head in the room, smiling. "Time to get started."
"Ohhhhh!" Rose took a deep breath. "Okay."
Her mother walked over the play mat that Tristan was playing on and picked him up. "Let's say bye to mommy before she and your daddy go get married."
Tristan giggled and reached out his arms to Rose. She came over and took him from her mother. "Oh, Tristan, mommy's going to miss you for the next two weeks but you'll get to spend time with grandma and grandpa. I love you so much," she whispered, cuddling him. The sight of them nearly brought tears to my eyes; Rose was such a wonderful mother. I always knew she would be. I just hoped I'd be as good at being a mother as her when I had a child. But I needed a boyfriend first, let alone a husband.
The empty feeling in my chest came back. I hated this feeling, as if a part of your lungs have holes in them, making it harder to breathe.
It'd taken me a while to figure out what caused it and now I knew. I wanted what Rose had, what Emmett had. I wanted someone to love me just how they loved each other, unconditionally and irresistibly.
"Bella?" A voice knocked me back to reality and Rose was standing in front of me, watery-eyed.
I took her hand. "You ready?" I asked, smiling at her reassuringly. This was where she was meant to be.
"Yeah, I'm ready. More than ready." Her face was lit with happiness and anticipation.
"Come on, girls." A voice called from behind us and we both turned to where the others were lining up. Rose's hand began to get sweaty as I let her go.
"Rose, I love you and want you to know there's no one better for Emmett than you," I whispered to her. She opened her mouth to say something but I was being pulled away.
Someone placed me a few feet ahead of Rose while she talked to her father. I was handed a small bunch of flowers and could hear the music start up in the other room. The people in front of me were staring to walk at a slow, steady pace and I followed starting straight ahead with a smile plastered on my face.
We were entering the room through the immense doors and the bright lights of the church filled my vision as everyone came into view. Family and friends, all standing in wait for Rose. I didn't focus on any of them though; instead I was looking at Edward.
He had on a brilliant smile that seemed to make the light around him brighter and looked incredibly handsome in his tux. He was looking at me too and once again there it was. That gleam, a little bit of Edward's soul I could never make out, but this time it stayed there as he continued to stare into my eyes. My heart twisted in my chest under his stare, and before I knew it, I was at the altar, watching Rose make her way down, looking radiant and blissful, her eyes only for Emmett as she walked forward. While I was left to ponder over Edward, the gleam in his eyes, and the ache in my chest.
…
I was sitting on the ledge of the wall outside with a glass of wine in my hand. The place Emmett and Rose had rented for the reception was beautiful, decorated with lights, streamers, and balloons. I was on the patio in the back of the building, looking out at the full moon. The music from inside drifted out here, soothed my nerves and let my thoughts run free.
The wedding had been wonderful, filled with love and passion. I had made my speech to Emmett and Rose already and so had Edward, who turned out to have had a written speech the whole time. I could see his smile then as he was looking at me while pulling out the piece of paper in his pants pockets. And as promised, it did bring tears to my eyes to hear him talk about the earlier years and also of how much luck he wished for the two.
Edward always did have a way with words; whether he meant them or not, he could have a crowd convinced tofu was the meat of the future. We hadn't gotten a chance to talk much since our encounter with Jasper, who, last time I checked, was taking advantage of the free margaritas. His words ran through my head from our earlier conversation. Hopefully you'll find out. What could he have possibly meant?
I heard the sliding glass door open behind me and looked over my shoulder to find the devil himself, looking striking with his tie hanging loose and hair in a crazy disarray, holding two champagne glasses.
"What are you doing out here when the party's in there?" he asked, walking towards me and taking a seat on the ledge. He set one of the glasses next to me and stared off into the night.
"What are you doing out here, Edward?" I looked where he was staring and saw a small lake just over to where a garden sat. The moonlight reflected off the surface making it shine and twinkle.
"Looking for you," he answered, taking my wine glass and finishing it. I scowled at him but he just smiled back. Then he made a face.
"Since when do you like white wine?"
"Since now. Rose said it was good." I took the glass from him and set it on a table close to me.
"Why are you out here then?" He took his champagne glass and swirled around the contents.
I shrugged and picked up my glass, listening to the crickets in the garden. "To Emmett and Rose for a wonderful marriage and," he said, I turned to look at him with his glass raised, I lifted mine too, "my weird eyed girl." He smiled at me before drinking his glass. I smiled too, threw my head back and drank. But the only reason I did was because he had called me his.
I put the glass down and hugged my arms, rubbing my hands against them. The night had suddenly gotten very cold. I then felt soft silk on my shoulders and smelled shaving cream and honey.
"You must be cold out here." Edward was standing behind me and took my hand, pulling me to my feet which were bare because I hated the pinching sensation the heels caused. I gripped his jacket with my other hand to keep it from falling off and let him pull me to the center of the patio. "Come on. I want to dance with you."
I looked up at him and saw the little seven year old boy that had helped me get my ball from the sewer and given me his jacket so many years ago. The boy I had watched grow into this wonderful man that stood before me. He'd helped me so many times that I could not think of one reason why I should decline.
"I'd be honored," I answered, putting out my hand. He took it and placed his arm around my waist, pulling me closer to his body. The cold was no longer the problem but the heat was almost suffocating me, both from inside and out, from his body and through my veins. It was almost like I was on fire.
I put my other arm around his waist and put my head to his chest. I felt so small in his arms, yet so safe and right, I wanted to just stand there forever. We swayed back and forth together, listening to the light song that drifted from inside, but nothing else registered other than the feeling of Edward.
"So, why were you out here?" he asked in a gentle whisper next to my ear, his breath fanned across my neck, and made a shudder run through me. He held me a little tighter, and I hoped he that he thought the shiver was from the cold.
I sighed. "Just thinking about a lot of stuff. Rose and Emmett, family, friends, work…" I trailed off.
He pulled me back a little and looked at my face, his brow scrunched with concern. "Bella, please tell me what's wrong. You've been like this for weeks now. I keep finding you off on your own just sitting somewhere and your response is always thinking."
I stopped moving and pulled back from him. He was right, he had been asking me that a lot lately and it was getting annoying.
I turned my back to him and walked over to the ledge, looking out at the lake again, pulling his jacket closer to me. "Why do you care so much about what I'm thinking?"
He was silent. I waited for a response but came up with none. When I finally turned to look at him, he was staring off into the woods in the other direction with a mixture of emotions crossing his face.
"Edward, if you don't have a reason-"
"It's just because I care, Bella. Alright? I care about you and want to know what's wrong and- and if I can, make it better. I hate seeing you like this." He stepped towards me until I had my back pressed up against the wall, his hands on my shoulders, looking into my face with gentle eyes.
I had seen Edward at his weakest moments, but I had never seen him show this much concern over me. It wasn't like he never showed it, but in this moment there was more to it.
I stared down at his chest and huffed. "Fine," I mumbled, defeated. I hated seeing him like this too. "It's just, I've been watching Rose and Emmett for weeks now and how much they care for each other and their child and it's just… I wonder someday if I'll ever have something like that. The happiness, the peace, the love."
There was silence yet again, and then I was suddenly being suffocated by his arms and crushed into his chest. I could feel his face in my hair, breath hot on my head.
"Bella, oh, Bella. That is one thing you don't have to worry about. Trust me. One day you'll…" he swallowed deeply, "find a guy that makes you happy and safe and you'll never want to leave him. You deserve someone like that, you of all people," he breathed into my hair and I felt my heart swell with an unknown feeling and all I could think was that I already had someone that made me feel like that.
I was suddenly distracted by a soft chuckle, but when I looked from around Edward's arm, all I saw was an open glass door and a glimpse of light blonde hair.
..:*:..
"Makes you wonder what exactly they thought they were feeling back then. Maybe they just assumed it was the tight friendship they had or maybe because they have always been there for each other and had no one else they could to compare it to.
Well, they should have seen it. B had exactly what she wanted right in front of her, and she knew it deep down, but never questioned what it was. Then the heat between the two would soon become too much. E was on the edge of confusion trying to separate his feelings from one another and the one feeling he couldn't name kept on bubbling and steaming, he was too afraid to go near it. Too afraid that the feeling might burn him.
But, they do figure it out. Oh, yes they do. The only sad thing is that it took the threat of one's life to make it all come together."
..:*:..
Edward had to tell me something.
I had no idea what it was but it must have been important for him to have called ten minutes ago, excited and desperate.
"Hello?"
"Bella!"
"Edward, what it is?"
"I have to- I need to talk to you, Bella! Right now! It can't wait. I can't- It's finished and I just need you, Bella. I want you to be here to listen to it. You have to be here to listen to it! It's for you."
"Hold on a minute, Edward. What is this all about?"
"Bella." His voice grew serious. "There's something you need to know. It's finished and I know I waited too long but… I just need you to listen. Tell me how you feel."
"But, Edward, I don't-"
"Bella, please."
"…I'll be ready in ten minutes."
"Oh, God, thank you, Bella. You won't regret it! I hope you don't regret it. I just- need to let you know."
And then the line went dead.
Now I was in his car. When I had walked outside to find him sitting in front of my house, he was all smiles with that gleam in his eyes that nowadays never went away, or at least not whenever I was with him.
I smiled back because… well, you can't not smile at him when he looks so happy; a look of determination in his eyes, but you could also see the slight nervousness underneath it all. This had just peaked my curiosity.
He still looked the same way sitting next to me. As soon as I had sat in the passenger's seat, he had taken my hand into his and never let go. He drove with one hand on the wheel, which I scowled at him for, and the other tightly around mine, as if it was a life line. He turned a corner and I noticed we were taking the route back to his house.
"So where are we going and why is it so important for me to be there and what do you need to tell me?" I tried to distract myself from how good it felt to have his hand in mine, so warm and strong. I didn't mind it, but welcomed it; I held his back with the same strength.
He glanced at me sideways, a look of anticipation, worry, and… longing? in his eyes. The look sent waves of shock through my body, and just about every part of me tingled in a heated sensation.
"Well, we're going back to my house. I'll tell you that. It's important because, well, it's long overdue and you just need to be there." He turned his head slightly to look at me, the most radiant smile on his face. He squeezed my hand even tighter. "As for what I'm going to tell you… you need to know because-"
But I never found out why because it was in that moment that a car full of drunken teenagers ran a red light and slammed into the side of Edward's car. The last thing I remembered about that moment was seeing Edward's smiling face, so lovely, so beautiful and alive, looking at me with eyes that made me want to melt. Him about to tell me what was so important, his mouth moving to form the words that never came out and the last feeling of strength squeezed into my hand.
It was also in that last moment that I felt the impact of the car hitting Edward's side and the loss of his strength as his hand was ripped from mine. My body ran cold, and my light was gone.
…
It had been two weeks.
Two whole weeks of completely agonizing waiting. Waiting for him to wake up; If he wakes up. A sobbed ripped through my chest and my shoulder hurt and head throbbed, but I didn't care. The only thing that mattered was him.
It was funny how when Edward was hurt I had always been there to help him. That I always thought that he mattered first and now, as I walked across the hospital waiting room that had become all but my new home for the past two weeks, I could think of or do nothing that would help the man I loved.
Yes, I loved him. It had come to me as soon as I saw him lying on the hospital bed, still and broken; it hit me like a brick wall. I loved him so damn much that I wanted to beat myself stupid for not seeing it earlier. I loved him and it took me twenty years to see it.
After the accident, I didn't remember much. I had drifted in and out of consciousness throughout the whole thing. Some 'Help!'s here and 'Blood!' there, but the rest was a blur. I had come out with thirteen stitches on my shoulder, a slight concussion, and small and large cuts and bruises all over my body.
And Edward… Another sobbed cut through me. Its jagged edges carved out my heart, making a hole in the spot that Edward had owned, which had been all of it. He had a broken left arm, seventy-three stitches spread over multiple parts of his body, and a major concussion that he had yet… to wake from.
Two weeks, I had sat at his bedside, only had gone home twice to shower and I was all but a hollow shell when that happened. Our families had been worried about me, telling me to go home, get some rest, think things through. My response to that had been 'Would you be able to do that while the man you loved was here dying?' The only response I had gotten from them was silence and a strangled sob from Esme, who had reached for me and pulled me into a death grip.
That had been the only thing I had said to any of them in the past two weeks. The only time that I had talked had been one word questions or answers. The only person I wanted to talk to was incapable at the moment.
I walked down the halls that I had become familiar with over the past days. I saw faces of patients, some alive and well, others sick and haughty, and it made my heart twist just for them to have to be in this place, no matter the cause. This place that could make or destroy a person.
Then I saw the families, the friends, the people that came to visit those who were in pain and bring them support with words of comfort. But words are dead if they have no meaning.
I had watched a woman talk to her elderly father, saying things like 'doing better than last week' and 'be out before you know it'. Four days later I heard they had to cut him off. All I could think was, not Edward, not my Edward.
I turned the corner and came to a stop at room 1127, Cullen, Edward Anthony. I slowly opened the door, knowing exactly what I would see but it still hit home every time. I wanted to throw up as soon as I saw him. Even the thought of Edward being hurt made me sick, and then seeing him like this, I almost couldn't take it. But I had to be strong for him. If not me, then who?
I set the lemonade and power bar, which I wouldn't eat, down on the table next to his bed. I pulled up a chair to sit on, the same chair I had been sitting on so much it should have the imprint of my ass shaped into it. He looked a little better than when he first got there. They had cleaned up the blood and he was starting to get some of his color back. I listened to the machine that indicated his pulse. It had a steady beating sound which was the only noise that filled the room, and also the only thing that kept me alive.
I ran my finger along the edge of his jaw that now had rough stubble on it up across his forehead that had a small scar near his hairline where four stitches were. Then my finger ran over his eyelids, which I prayed to God every second of the day would open, so I could see his beautiful green eyes, full of life again. They got to his lips and froze. How I wanted to kiss him, to feel power and movement through his mouth against mine.
I loved him. I loved Edward. And he might never get a chance to hear it, accept it, decline it. It wouldn't have mattered as long as he knew.
"Edward," I whispered to him. No response, just the same stillness I've had to live with, be tortured by.
I gripped his right hand. The hand that had held mine with strength and warmth now clung between mine cold and slack. Tears welled up in my eyes as my breath caught in my throat.
"Edward!" This voice, it wasn't mine, more like a broken soul's. Sobs racked my body as I clung to his hand, desperate for a response. I placed my head against his bed, trying to hide the tears.
"Edward, you n-need to wake up! You h-have to. You can't leave me now. I love you, I love you so much. I'm sorry, so s-sorry. I should have seen it, I'm sorry. I love you, please, wake up!"
I don't know how long I sat there talking, sometimes yelling into his sheet cover and squeezing his hand, but I eventually fell quiet and just sat there. Though my silent pleas didn't stop. 'Please, I love you, wake up.'
"I love you, too." I heard a scratchy, soft voice say and a little pressure was returned into my hand. My head snapped up and I knew I must have been dreaming, I had to be, there was no way...
But when I stared at his face his eyes were open, staring down at me with sleepiness and sadness. "I'm sorry I made an angel cry."
I let out a choked laugh-sob. "Edward!" My arms went across him, being cautious of all the wires, and circled around his waist as best as I could. I laid my head against his chest, and the tears came at full force.
"Oh my, oh my… Edward. I missed you. I'm sorry, so sorry, Edward." I felt him place his hand lightly on my back, rubbing up and down and I desperately wanted to freeze time in this very moment.
"Bella," he breathed as if my name were a prayer. "So Bella is that why you cared?"
I started to catch my breath and picked up my head to look at him. "What?" I asked, confused, as I placed my hands on either side of his face.
"You care so much. It that why? Because you…" he trailed off, moving his good hand to my face and stroking my cheek.
And then his question registered to me. "Edward," I looked down at him, seeing all the cuts and bruises and knowing that this was my chance to tell him. One person can be gone in a blink of an eye. Never waste the time you have together.
"I love you." His eyes widened and I saw life in them and it made my heart sing with joy and encouragement. "I love you so much. I always have, it's just been hiding away. But I do, Edward. I care about you so much. You scared me, the thought of you gone was to much, I-I need you here, because I l-love you Edward." I started to get choked up again.
"Bella." His eyes searched frantically on my face. He was about to say something more but I didn't let him. I kissed his lips lightly; they were so soft, and heat spread through my body, making every part of me warm. I kissed him again and this time he responded, bringing his one hand to the back of my head pulling me forward.
I moved my hands so that one rested on the curve of his neck and the other in his hair. It was a total mess from being in bed but I loved the feel of it in my fingers. I loved everything about him.
He pulled back slightly so that we could look into each other's eyes. "I-I love you too, Bella. I should have said it sooner. I'm sorry." I looked him over. He loved me. That was all that mattered. We had each other, and that's all we needed.
Thinking back, I could remember when I had taken care of Edward in his time of need. I should have known then that I loved him. So many years, so much time wasted…
"Well, let's just keep doing this." And I leaned forward to kiss him again, his lips moving against mine and it was the prayer I had asked for. The tip of my tongue traced his bottom lip and he opened up for me. Both of our tongues explored unknown territory, and even through he tasted like medicine, I didn't care because this was Edward and me, and we'd finally discovered this was how we were supposed to be.
And throughout this whole time I heard the beating of his pulse increase with each passing minute. It was like a bomb, getting louder and faster, and as that increased so did the intensity of the heat that spread through me. It was almost too much. I was on fire, being consumed by this flame of desire. I searched for his hand, laced my fingers with his and squeezed. Giving him my strength, releasing my fire, showing him my hidden love and I melted into the blissful passion that surrounded us. I had reached my boiling point.
..:*:..
There was silence.
"Wait, that's it? What? You have to tell me what happens next! Does E get better? Do they live happily ever after? What kind of story is this?" Carlie demanded, crossing her arms over her chest.
"I liked the ending," Annabel said quietly, smiling softly at me.
"What's the point in telling us the story if we don't find out how they ended out?" Carlie huffed, ignoring what Annabel had said.
I sighed. "Carlie, you have to use your imagination. Have them turn out however you want them to."
"I hope they both get better and live for a long, long, time together." Annabel replied, eyes twinkling a dazzling green, just like her father's.
"I want to know the real ending." Carlie pushed her messy, bronze curls from her face looking disappointed.
"Now, Carlie, be nice to your mother. She was very nice to have told you that wonderful story." A voice called from the doorway. I turned to look and saw my husband standing in the doorway, smiling brightly at me. I smiled back.
"It wasn't nice that she didn't tell us the ending," Carlie complained as she pulled her sheets up to her shoulder and turned to look at her father.
"How about they both lived on, forever enjoying the love they shared together." He walked into the room and grabbed my hand, pulling me to my feet.
Carlie sighed. "I guess," she looked over at her twin sister, "are you okay with that?"
"Yeah, I'm just glad they're together now." Annabel looked between the two of us shyly but didn't say anything.
"I'm glad they got together too," Edward said, squeezing my hand. A familiar passion ran through me.
"It's time for you two to go to bed," he said, pulling me towards the door and flicking off the light.
"I love you," they said in unison and both fell silent.
"Love you too," I whispered and closed the door behind me. We started our way down the hall to our bedroom, but he stopped me at the door.
"That was lovely, you know? Telling them that story? It brings back so many memories." He looked down at me and started to lean forward until he was kissing me, soft and gently. I smiled against his lips.
"So I never did ask you, why did you call me weird eyed girl back then?" I asked pulling him to the small grand piano that sat in the corner of the room.
He laughed. "Well, actually, I thought your eyes were beautiful back when we were young, I actually thought they were mesmerizing, I couldn't figure out why I liked to stare at them so much. But I was seven and I wasn't going to say they were pretty." He chuckled as we sat on the piano bench. "Weird was the next thing to pop into my mind, and you had made fun of my hair," he pointed out.
I laughed while he stared to play the song. "Well, I'm glad you don't think they're weird."
"Oh, I think they're weird, just pretty too." He smiled down at me and I rested my head on his shoulder and wrapped my arms around his waist as he continued to play the song he wrote for me and had so desperately wanted to have me listen to that fateful day of the accident.
I sighed in contentment, letting the sound of the notes surround us and bring us back to the old days where we were young, foolish, but young and just starting our journey together.
I hummed the tune as he quietly sang the words,
"The steam is rising, I'm bubbling inside;
I'm forever yours, my internal flame."
A/N: Hope you all enjoyed it! Great thanks to Poo235 and Vespaa.
